You squeal and shout, demand silence and request that my history be overwritten!Â
My heart stalls when I see u two, internally I gasp.
I am a slave six times removed.
My spirit is still true.
My heart aches with a feeling that should not be.
You hold hands, showing a smile that belongs to my sister.
Selfish I know, but this is what history has done to me.
Gushings of hope, sympathy, betrayal and shame are forced into me.
In that breath I want to shout my alarm! Demand your explanation for belonging to her.
Why has my brother forsaken me?
It's intrinsic, embedded in centuries of DNA.
History has demanded it! When she took my dignity after her daddy and husband raped me!
She took our father's innocence to keep her bed warm.
She assaulted his masculinity and he broke his convenant to God and our mother. We shared our understanding and pain in the blood we shed.
You were my partner, my proprietor, my connection with our God.
You defined my beauty, you forced iron into my back and my teeth to harden because we knew I would be raising ours alone.
I've steeled myself to wait for u, but you have taken her hand.Â
Feelings of shame cover me because to my truest self, I am no longer worthy.
Our genes and DNA share similarities that you disregard.
I show you the woman I am, yet you never pursue me.
I have shamed you, but you refuse to tell me how.
FORBEARANCE