What addicts want normal people and those who love us to know
1. We are not stupid, weâre well aware of the damage. We know that what we are doing is killing us. We know that we are hurting people. We are aware of how society sees us. We know.
2. ADDICTION IS NOT ENJOYABLE. We are not âpartyingâ or having a good time. The party ended a long time ago. Weâre fucking miserable. Many of these drugs were never party drugs to begin with. It might seem fun and exciting the first week or month, but it quickly becomes a chore.
3. We donât keep using just because we want to get high all the time. We use to not get sick and just to function normally in our daily lives. After awhile, weâre not thinking âhow am I going to get high today?â Weâre thinking âhow will I be able to get to work today?â And then the reason we relapse is because we canât remember surviving without it.
4. We have massive amounts of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. We donât need to be called âpieces of shitâ and âscum junkiesâ because we already feel that way about ourselves every day!! The disease tells us not to care when we lie to and steal from friends and family. The disease makes us selfish. But we are human and we feel terrible about it. We arenât psychopaths and are more than capable of feeling remorse. The more selfish acts we engage in, the worse we feel about ourselves. But we compulsively keep dragging ourselves through dirt.
5. It has absolutely nothing to do with you or anyone else. You didnât cause it, you canât control it, and you canât cure it. It is no oneâs fault and you did not fail as a sister/brother/mother/father/aunt/grandpa/best friend. When we lie to or steal from you or choose drugs over you, it is nothing personal. It does not mean we donât still love you. When the disease takes over, it doesnât necessarily want to hurt you. It just assigns everyone the same value so they are neutral/irrelevant. Someone in active addiction is stuck in a completely internal thought process that completely blocks out the existence of other people.
6. The drug is stronger than love and values like family and friendship and thatâs why weâve chosen it over you. That is the unfortunate truth. Thatâs why we find a higher power in recovery, because no human power or emotion can fight off the drug on its own.
7. While addiction makes us choose the drug, we NEVER chose the addiction over you. Addiction is miserable and we donât want it. The addiction chose us.
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