I want to be loved.
And I don’t mean held or cuddled or kissed, though all of that is nice. And I don’t mean the love of good people who will add to your life, that’s also a kind of love but not what I’m talking about here.
I want to be held in a way that tells me they want me to be here. I want to be told what to do because I know they know I will like whatever it is. I want to tell someone what to do and have them trust me enough to simply do it, so we can enjoy something together.
I want to be loved with patience, by someone willing to let me try things. Someone who is willing to help me find what i like, and what I need, and what certain things and touches and words mean and make me feel. I want to be loved so thoroughly that through it they have helped me know myself and I can love them back with the trust we make between us, heavy and steel solid and bright for all to see.
I want to be loved in a way that helps me to be me, to know what it is to be me, and to have someone I can hold to as I experience and I try, and, sometimes, try again.
Good fucking gods do I need to get laid.















