Simon Porter

22 ~ Room 201 ~ Submissive

[simonporter]

rosemccoy​:

As thanksgiving is drawing near I hope you all have a lovely time at home!

I’ll be here so let me know if you have plants that need watering or animals who need fed. I will do any feeding or watering except birds. They just don’t like me, I can’t explain it. 

I’d be careful making blanket offers like that.  I knew a guy back home who kept snakes, gators and a tazmanian devil.

[simonporter]

zoesrose​:

I wouldn’t word it like that, but yes.

Do you actually prefer drama?

I don’t want to be a part of the drama, but I don’t mind watching it unfold.  It’s like a live soap opera.

[simonporter]

lilfaunaflanagan​:

That is so depressing. Honestly I get zoos for conservation and for research but a lot of the zoos that are completely for profit seem pretty shitty for the animals and I am totally not about that shit ya dig? It’s very true they are hella smart but then again so are dogs.

And private zoos are super sketchy.  I think the difference between monkeys and dogs is that monkeys have thumbs.  Makes them seem more like tiny, hairy people.

[simonporter]

zoesrose​:

No, not ever.

Ah, you’re more of a no drama llama then?

[simonporter]

zoesrose​:

I certainly hope everyone is done being dramatic™ now.

Oh, but isn’t it a hoot to sit back and watch the drama unfold sometimes?

[simonporter]

lilfaunaflanagan​:

That is so wild my man, like nobody in Ireland was keeping anything weirder than like a lizard or maybe the odd goat. Idk where people get the idea that they should keep alligators knocking about in their house, feels so surreal to me. Though I think a monkey would be somewhat of a cool pet tbh.. Captain YumYum sounds like a porn name though..

What’s wild is that there are more tigers in private zoos here in the US than there are in the wild.  I don’t know about keeping monkeys.  They’re so smart, they’re almost people.  Feels weird having one for a pet.  But true, Captain YumYum is not a great name.

[simonporter]

lilfaunaflanagan​:

I hear that foxes don’t really make good pets because they literally pee everywhere and I’m not about that life, me and my boyfriend just have to decide on a breed and then we can become dog parents. People have alligators as pets… I don’t know why I’m surprised but like I really did have to read this shit twice.

We had a guy in my hometown who was kinda like a less methed up Joe Exotic.  Kept Gators, had a couple tigers and a little monkey he called Captain YumYum.  People are weird.

[simonporter]

lilfaunaflanagan​:

I mean I don’t think I’d actually get a raccoon as a pet, because my boyfriend and I are both really into the idea of getting a dog and I don’t know how well they’d blend. But like.. I was just stunned that it wasne expensive to get one, I guess I just thought there wouldn’t be many raccoon breeders

Dogs are better pets, yeah.  But sure, lots of breeders.  Foxes too.  They aren’t really domesticated, but if they’re raised by people they’re less wild.  Not like gators.  I know folks who said their gators were pets but nah, they’ll eat ya.

[simonporter]

zoesrose​:

I want to expand my current playlist. I’m looking for suggestions. 

Have you heard the band Kane?  Kind of a country Rock sound.

[simonporter]

lilfaunaflanagan​:

So I started looking up how much it costs to buy a pet raccoon as a joke thinking they’d be one of those exotic pets that’s really expensive. Only to find out that they’re less expensive than like a cat, I saw a legit ad for one that only cost like $25 dollars?? Like Jesus H Christ… America explain?

Well, it ain’t like it’s hard to catch a raccoon.  But you don’t want to grab a grown one for a pet, gotta raise it from a baby otherwise they can be feral little bastards.

[simonporter]

daniharperdominant​:

I hope so - we’ve got to cherry pick all the best parts to keep here.  I like to think so, at least, I’m sure you’ll hear me playing somewhere on campus at some point and you can judge for yourself.  Oh awesome - are you looking to be like a public service librarian or more of a behind the scenes role?

Sounds like a plan, Miss.  Well, I’ll probably do some of both, for the experience.  I’d like to work in one of the government libraries in DC eventually.  All those rare books....Swoon.

[simonporter]

daniharperdominant​:

It’s lovely meeting you too, Simon.  Ooh, an Alabama boy, we’re getting all the South in here.  It’s what I went to college for, so it’s potentially a career - or at least a hobby that I’m pretty good at.

Hopefully we’re getting the good parts of the south, ya know?  Oh, if you went to school for it, then you must me real good.  I studies library sciences myself.

[daniharperdominant]

Okay, so I’ve been here a couple days now and I’m a hundred percent sure there’s people I haven’t met yet.  If you’re one of them, please come say hi!  I’m the girl playing the guitar in the courtyard and I don’t bite unless you ask me really nicely.  My name’s Dani, I’m a Dominant mark, and I’m from Austin - see?  The small talk is taken care of for you!

[simonporter]

Hi Miss. I’m Simon Porter, sub.  Nice to meet you.  Austin, huh?  I’m from Mobile, myself.  Is music a big interest or just a hobby?

[simonporter]

lilfaunaflanagan​:

So after like three flights, four bags of mini jaffa cakes, one very dodgy burger king, and a whole lot of “so where are you headed?” we made it! I’m Doctor Fauna Eloise Flanagan, queen of making Tom Nook my bitch and of crop tops. I’ve come over from Ireland to prove that the second time you move to America to get claimed is the charm, and that the most hilarious things come in tiny packages. Now I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be unpacking, because we have like 10,000 copies of pride and prejudice to find space for and I have to try and hide all my melody merch in creative places. But please introduce yourself, I need a reason to delay ‘organising’ as long as possible and I feel like I can sell socialising with my classmates as a valid reason to the bossman.

Three flights?  Geez that sounds like a long trip.  I just took a bus from Mobile.  Sounds like you had a lot more of an adventure.  You’re a doctor?  That’s impressive.  What’s your specialty.  Oh, I’m Simon Porter, by the way.

[avery-fabray]

Well, I suppose if I had to come back to America, a beach is the best place to land. I can’t be the only one who utterly detests the tedium of unpacking right? Anyways, introductions; my name is Alexander Smythe, and I can think of at least six other things I’d rather be doing than organising my bedroom. What are you all up to on this humid Floridian evening?

[simonporter]

I’m excited.  No gators in the ocean, so that’s pretty cool.  Do you have to organize it all right now?  I should probably be doing that too.  Hi, I’m Simon.

[simonporter]

All right, let’s get this started.  I’m Simon Porter, sub, looking forward to meeting all you cool cats and kittens!  Oh god, that was lame, Tiger King was so 4 months ago, right.  But Hi.

[simonporter]

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