Lexi

[simplefreak23]

But sadness just doesnt up and leave so easily. It stays an watches for you finest moments then unleashes pain onto you. Pent up hurt and anger just comes out at the peak of my "happiness". Right when I think things are okay they just fall apart again. 😔 see if people only saw my life from the outside they'd think I was fine.. think I was so happy. But people who truly know me know that I'm hurting more than anything

[simplefreak23]

Me: I love you

Him: I love you too         1:57 AM Me: Im so sorry I went to bed and didnt say good night I miss you soo much and honestly hate not seeing you baby. I just want you ight now. To hold you and kiss you and love you.

Him: I love you too and want that too You can sleep if you want

Me: I know I have such a busy day tomorrow but I need five minutes more so I can talk with you. It seems like we hardly get to talk anymore baby and that hurts me. I know its not your fault or mine but it still hurts not seeing you for soo long

Him: I know

Me: Wyd

Him: Being tired

Me: Get some sleep babe

Him: You should too

Me: I have something important to tell you

Him: What is it

Me: Ive been feeling very depressed lately and its been very hard for me to handle on my own Soo sometimes when you aent avalible like when you come home beat or you have to do extra stuff once you get home, I talk to my friend Marcus about it. He really understands what Im going through. I feel like we arent as close as we usually are here lately and its becoming a little bit of a problem. I feel like we have more sex then conversation. We need to talk more baby. At first everthing was amazing and the sex was perfect but I feel like we need to not have sex evey time I come to visit We really need to talk about stuff and not just how much we want to have sex all the time. This is not me breaking up with you baby, I love you and dont want to do that I just want you to know the truth and how I feel.

Him: If you feel like he can do better i wont stop you We have grown apart more and i dont think i can really take care of you as well as i could before

Me: No baby thats not what I mean at all. I dont need you to take care of me like you usually do I just need us to talk more

Him: Look we've grown apart and i feel like im holding you back anyway

Me: You arent baby I promise you if you were I would have said so          

Him: Still i dont see how i can do it

Me: Do what baby

Him: Keep this relationship up The fire just isnt there anymore

Me: You cant mean that we just havent seen eachother in a while thats all. I just need to see you

Him: I domt think so

Me: Please dont do this to me

Him: It changes nothing Ill still be here Help and everything

Me: This cant be happening right now

Him: I hate it as much as you

Me: Have you found someone?

Him: No

Me: Okay

Him: Its just that the way i love tou shifted

Me: Why

Him: If i knew i would change it All i wanted to do is help you become a better person and by god you have

Me: That was your goal making me feel love and making me want to spend the rest of my life with you to change me for the better

Him: No I just wanted you to see that there isn't just bad in the world

Me: Well this isnt helping right now. I feel like puking

Him: I just dont see the point in leading you on Would you rather i went on pretending Im sorry but this is for the best for you

Me: Just say it so I can stop feeling the way I do I hurt so bad right now

Him: Fine I think we should break up Im still goimg to be here and help in any way after this Dont think im abandoning you

Me: Now I feel 10 times worse and that didnt make it any better. What am I going to tell me parents 😥 their daughter fucked a guy at 14 and then got broke up with after almost a year not to mention the fact that she might be pregnant come to find out that ger recent peiod wasnt actually a period and she hasnt been on one since the beginning of January and is now pobably going to get slut shamed at school

Him: You arent a slut and you know it

Me: They dont

Him: Who cares what they think

Me: I kinda do

Him: Then prove them wrong Youre a good person and i know youll be fine

Me: I hope

Him: I know you will Youve gone through worse and came out on top I believe in you

Me: Im sorry I really need to go

Him: I understand

Me: I have to find a way to tell my parents about this

Him: Good luck is all i can say

Me: Can I say it one last time. Please Just let me say it I promise I wont ever say it again

Him: You can

Me: I love you   And I mean it Bye  I guess we are ending just as we stated really super late, tired, and with so many emotions its unreal at least for me that is

Him: I know

[simplefreak23]

Bedtime Thoughts

Do you ever feel like breaking things for no reason. Anger is a B.I.T.C.H. but hey it’s okay. We all have our dark side. Don’t be afraid of yourself. Let that shit out. It’s worth it. TIP: Don’t take it out on anyone, just on stupid shit that you dont care about, like that old piece of shit shed that may be sitting in your back yard.