Life inside the fire

student of the world

[sinderbella]

Bubbles help. 💕

[sinderbella]

Same Shit Different Day Always beware of Mr. Grey. #iduddits

[sinderbella]

Happy Friday. Here's a kitty loop

[sinderbella]

Dem bitch boots and tutus. ❤️ It was good (essential) to get out tonight. Put on them hooker boots and strut that stuff! <3 🤗 #cantstopwontstop (at Dickens Pub)

[sinderbella]

They only come out at night. ✊🏻🖕🏻 Hooker boots and middle fingers ❤️

[sinderbella]

I'm @dickensyyc for the Circus. Come see the weirdos! ❤️

[sinderbella]

:) yo

[sinderbella]

Strange and beautiful.

[sinderbella]

Digging deep into these festering wounds. Learning so that I can do/be better. Using every thought and experience as a lesson. It all ties back to this one thing. Sorana and her Teddy bear. Convoluted over years of getting better then getting worse. Ive made it so far, yet have gone nowhere at all. Anxiety, Grief, Complex Trauma, PTSD, crazy redhead feels, whatever you wanna call the shit that makes me crazy. It's in me. I'm working to figure out how to carry on. How to stop this shit from affecting every relationship Ive had since or could ever want to succeed. How to reconcile my grief. But I'm not there. And while I work through my flailing I can only express gratitude for those who can see that I'm trying and stick by me while I do my thing. They do get messy. First three rows. Raw. Exposed. Encouraged. Determined. I'll find a way through. There is no word for a parent who has lost a child. There should be. #glasscaseofemotion

[sinderbella]

Went by my old house. Old old. The house I watched Night of the Living Dead in and scarred my little mind into zombie fascination. Where I found and raised salamanders in the window well/garage to my mothers disgust. Where I dig in the dirt in my Sunday dress with the boys. Where we played kick the can and borrowed the Mormon neighbours trampoline to give myself double black eyes. 👌🏻 A lot has happened in this house. And beyond. It's nice to take a trip through memory lane. To remember, to some greater degree, what my life has encompassed. Where I've been and where I've yet to go... Goddamn perspective...

[sinderbella]

All I can do is try

[sinderbella]

Bloop

[sinderbella]

@bkennerson remember that time when I had no idea who you were, but doodled you and Doug because you're beautiful? I do. ❤️ I never finished it, because I can't shade for shit. But looking back at this makes me happy to know you now. #gayness

[sinderbella]

✨💥🔥💥✨ This little light of mine...

[sinderbella]

Mastering mentality. I feel like I'm still playing with play dough, but when I step back I can see a lot of progress in my mental mastery, I'm sculpting a glowing psyche of foxy goodness. Even through the worst/most humiliating moments. I'm getting better. I have so fucking far to go, I'm frequently humbled (sobbing fits happen), but I'm also so proud of what I've become and will continue to become. Always working on it. I couldn't do it alone ❤️ thank you to the people who push me and support me through it all.

[sinderbella]

Hahahahah. Kitty lovins and Fresh Prince. Dexter is the best kitty 😍

[sinderbella]

What is going onnnn!?!? 😂💩 Save us David Bowie!