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[singleforlayf]

Mother-in-law now turns to monster-in-law

[singleforlayf]

A great failure

Honestly I don't know what to say. I am having mixed emotions at the moment. Stressed, pressured, disappointments, anxiety.

It's almost 3 months since I left my corporate job and tried freelancing however, I did not expect that it was this hard to find a right job, a right client for the skills that I have. I am unemployed for 3 months now and I feel pity now because I can't even buy foods for my family or myself.

I am starting to get regrets. I don't know where to start. This is not what I imagined or expected to happen. God help me.

[singleforlayf]

Thank you Lord I survive the 7th day of training for real state VA..

Though, it quite challenging it was also fun. I met new friends and.. I gained additional knowledge... and skills.

However, I still feel anxious 'coz I still haven't done with the mock calls and I don't know if I may able to pass the training itself 'coz like I said it's very challenging. The process is very complicated and we are having issues with the new trainer as well as with our co-trainess from other waves.

Tonight/tomorrow will be more challenging...because we'll gonna have our mock calls and afterwards call certification to prepare us for the interview with the client... hope everything goes well..and fall into places. Guide me always G.

[singleforlayf]

KUNG AYAW MO WAG MO!

"Wag pilitin ang ayaw" ika nga nila. Masasaktan ka lang. Which is totoo.

Sa loob ng halos 14years na pagsasama natin, kelan ba kita hindi pinilit? Halos lagi. Lagi kita pinipilit. Lahat ng okasyon, need kita pilitin na sumama samin. Nkakapagod din.

Bakit ba di ako masany-sanay na ganyan ka? Aware naman ako na di ka kagaya ng mga exes ko na ginagawa lahat makasama lang ako pero bakit di pa din ako nasasanay? Masyado ka ng nkakasakit ng loob!

Sana, mabaliktad naman sitwasyon natin. Ikaw naman mamilit at maghabol...Ako naman ang mawalan ng pake..

[singleforlayf]

TGIS!!

Thank God it's saturday!! 😄 Last shift for the week. Thank you G, I survived the 1st week of my training as virtual assistant. Information overload though but it's good. New learnings, new friends.

Nextweek, we'll be on a night shift that starts on tuesday midnight. I guess I need to adjust my body clock starting tomorrow.

Wish me luck. I hope I'll pass the training. Looking forward for a wonderful career as a VA for real state.

[singleforlayf]

Anxiety attacks

Today is my 1st day as a trainee as a freelance virtual assistant for real state investor, and I can't help myself but to feel nervous. This is all new to me...and it's all out of my comfort zone.

What if I failed my training? What will gonna happen to me? Oh God, please help me passed my training. Don't make it too difficult for me. I've been suffering so much....

[singleforlayf]

Is money really matters? Is it really the basis of being happy? Why is money so important? That you forget to ask if I am okay?

I'm kinda dissapointed with you Mom. Every time you texted me you always telling me to go look for money.. do good on your job to earn etc.

Mom, I am suffering from depression because of my situation. Can't you feel it? Can't you see it? I am struggling so much to provide all your needs. I love you Mom but can't you talk about it just for a day? Can we talk something else?

Sometimes, I can't help myself and ask... why am I not born rich? Why we are suffering in so much debt? Why we are struggling? Questions that I can't even answer....

[singleforlayf]

Depression and Anxiety

Akala ko okay na ako... akala ko tapos na. Hindi pa pala...

Why I can't set myself free from this depressing situation? I've been struggling for so long and I really can't find a way to escape. I really don't know what to do.

Ginagawa ko naman ang lahat, pero bakit parang kulang? Ano bang problema sakin? Please I need some answers...

Sobrang pagod na pagod na pagod na ako sa sitwasyon ko. Hirap na hirap na hirap na din ako. Masama bang hilingin na mabigyan ng magandang buhay pamilya ko?

Tama si Mama..hindi ko pa kaya. Hindi pa namin kayang tumayo sa sariling paa namin. I'm not getting any younger pero until now wala pa din akong napapatunayan sa sarili ko. I even don't have savings in my bank account.

Lord, please help me. I've been suffering so much.. please send someone who can help me on my situation and help me start anew...

I can't help but feel depress... Minsan parang gusto ko ng bumitaw... Nakakapagod na. Sobrang ang bigat na sa dibdib. Ginagawa ko naman lahat pero paramg di sapat.

Tomorrow I'll start on my new job. I am praying na sana... ito na yon. Ito na yong sagot sa financial problem ko.. Na sana magtuloy-tuloy na. Sana po bigyan Mo ako ng client na mabait at galante.. Sana mapasahan ko din ang training... please.. last na ito..

[singleforlayf]

When anxiety attacks... I really don't know what to do. Can somebody help me? I'm too tired... hopeless... depress...

[singleforlayf]

[singleforlayf]

TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

sobrang di na ako masaya. I'm living like hell sa 14 years na pagsasama natin. Ako nalang ba palagi ang dapat mag adjust? Ako nalang ba palagi ang dapat mag intindi sayo?

Ni minsan di ko na-feel na appreciated ako. You never supported me in every decision that I made! Samantalang ako always naka-support sayo!

Buti kapa nga, you always have a time to enjoy with your friends samantalang ako, I always feel guilty everytime makikipag jamming ako sa colleagues or friends ko. You always said na "di mag-enjoy ka din" yeah right but you always made me feel na di ko deserve mag-enjoy na I should stay dito sa bahay and watch over sa mga bata.

You are nothing but a selfish as****e!!!! I love you... I always do. I gave you everything. I sacrifices a lot. Kaya don't make me regret that I choose to stay with you!

You always make us your least priority! Kailan kaba magbabago? You said, you love me pero dami mong babaeng ina-add sa facebook na mukhang mga pokpok!!! At may pa-heart react kapa!! Pero sa mga posts ko ni-likes di mo magawa!!

Am I not enough? Is my love makes you suffocated? Do you want me to let go? I really wanted to let you go.... I want to set my self free as well... Kung nasasakal ka sa pagmamahal na binibigay ko, mas nasasakal ako sa kung anong sitwasyon meron ako sayo!!

Is it too much to ask na kami naman i-prioritize mo????? Kung di mo kayang ibigay yon, pwede bang palayain mo nalang ako? :(

[singleforlayf]

"I hope you're happy But don't be happier"

[singleforlayf]

Affection or Obsession?

I met a guy way back 2014 who's a colleague of mine. He is a good looking guy. Kind of Rockstar and has a lot of sex appeal. First day I set my eyes on him I know that I am attracted. He's my senior btw, and we go out sometimes but in a group. Then there's this incident that we hang out to one of our colleague's house. We drink some beers and partied all night and when we are done he drove me home but before I go out to his car he asked me if he can sleep over like duh?! what the heck are you talking about???

Anyway, I don't know but I really like him. It's like he is the man that I dreamed of but the sad part is, I'm not his type and I'm already in a relationship. We are also friends in other social media.

2016, I resigned and flew to Dubai. I thought by doing that my feelings for him will fade 'coz I thought this is just a simple "crush" on someone but I don't know, until now I still can't get him off my mind. I'm still hoping that one day by chance we'll cross each other path again....