The Sentimental Dreamer

Where Fantasy Meets Reality

[singleschronicles-blog]

when was the last time you went on a date? Do you ever feel like someone from your past got away?

It’s not been too long since I’ve been on a date. Well, it all depends on “your” definition of a date is.

I’m quite sure I’ve messed up on some great opportunities from my past. But no matter the disappointment or heartache, I’m sure it was a growing/developing experience for us both. My main hope is that she, whoever she is, is doing well and is feeling the love and appreciation that I wasn’t able to provide her with.

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Do you work hard at breaking hearts?

Work hard at it, no. We all aren’t perfect, and mistakes happen.

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Me and My Crazy World

*phone ringing*

Me: “What’s good beautiful?”

Her: “Nothing much Daddy, how you doing?   Did you enjoy our weekend?”

Me: “DID I!!  I can honestly say that I stepped way outside my comfort level with some of the events from this weekend.”

Her: “Is that a good or bad thing?  I mean are you sure you didn’t feel pressured to do those things?”

Me: “Naw, no pressure at all.  Everything that went down, planned or not planned, was awesome and ok with me.”

Her: “That’s good to hear.  Hopefully we can do something like that again.”

Me: “Naw, I’d like to do something better.  Not sure what we it will be, but I definitely want it to be better than this past weekend.”

*text message alert*

She: “Hey, baby what you doing?”

Me: “Nothing much, just straightening up.  What you into?”

*phone call*

Her: “So what you into for the rest of the night?”

Me: “Nothing much, just cleaning up from the mess we made...lol.  You?”

Her: “Nothing really, just sitting here thinking about the next time I’ll see you.”

Me: “Oh it’s gone be soon for sure, lol.  That action is gone be needed.”

*text message alert*

She: “Nothing really, just seeing if you still wanted to hang out.”

Me: “Of course, I haven’t seen you in a few days.  What time you trying to come through?”

*phone call*

Her: “Don’t be saying that just to be saying it.”

Me: “I’m not.  I had a really nice time and love the direction that things are going between us.”

Her: “Me too.  It’s crazy that it took this long to get where we are, but I’m glad we are finally here.”

Me: “Good things come to those who wait, or that’s at least what I’ve been told...lol.”

*text message alert*

She: “I can be there in about 20/30 minutes.”

Me: “That’s cool.  Gives me enough time to finish putting these clothes away and hop in the shower.”

She: “Ok, I’ll let you know when I’m pulling up.”

Me: “Cool, see you soon.”

*phone call*

Her: “Yea, I guess you are right.  I just hope that this is what you really want.  And if it’s not, it’s ok.

Me: “I know that our past has been hella rocky, but this is what I want.  Not saying it’s gone be easy, but I’m down to put my all into this and make it work.”

Her: “I really appreciate you saying that.  I just don’t want you to feel any pressure.”

Me: “Naw, it’s nothing like that at all.  I want an us.  I want this to be my last.”

*text message alert*

She: “Outside.”

Me: “Bet.”

*phone call*

Me: “I can’t wait until these next few weeks fly by so we can link up again.  I need to start looking up things for us to do.  You can’t be planning everything for us all the time, lol.”

Her: “You know I don’t mind doing things like that.  Just like spending time with you.  But I’ll let Daddy do his thing and get us together.”

Me: “Lol, I appreciate that.  Don’t worry, I won’t lead us wrong.”

*opens door*

Me: “Well, I’m finished getting things together.  I’m about to lay it down and get ready for tomorrow.”

Her: “Ok, hit me up and in the morning.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, love you.

Her: “Lover you too.”

*hangs up phone*

She: “How you doing baby?”

Me: “I’m cool, just been sitting here watching a little TV.”

She: “Well, let me take a shower and we can chat about how your weekend/day was.”

Me: “Cool.  I put a towel and rag on the bed for you.”

She: “Thank you babe.  You eat?”

Me: “Yea, I stopped and picked something up after washing clothes.”

She: “Ok.  I’m gone head to the bathroom and get cleaned up.”

MORAL OF THE STORY IS...HAVING TWO FEMALES ON DECK IS THE DUMBEST SHIT IN THE WORLD!!

[singleschronicles-blog]

Seasons

...Over the past few weeks I figured out something that I should have learned, no understood, a long time ago. You will never know how to treat and love a woman unless you learn how to treat and love your mother. Again and again we as males, that “man” tag has to be earned, fall short on displaying our affection for a woman because we have never showed it to the woman who first revealed it to us...our mother. She is our real ride or die. The first that had your back no matter what and most of all...showed you what the definition of unconditional love really was. True enough you can argue, well not every female I’ve been with had all those attributes or was “the one” so I’m not putting my all into someone who wasn’t for me. That might be the case, but that doesn’t mean you are allowed to go around crushing females and breaking hearts until you do find your soulmate. You not gone go house to house picking and choosing who you feel is your Mom just because she might cook or wash your clothes better on this or that day. With that being said, and this includes my Mom, to every female I’ve ever done wrong...I apologize. All the lies, manipulation, games, betrayal...etc, I'm sorry.

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Lyin King

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Done Crying

Sitting here thinking to myself, how could I do this again.  Not the same exact mistake...again.  Like didn’t you learn from the first time you did this?  What about the time after that?  Shit, what about the time after that?  What is it going to take to fix this cycle?  What needs to happen to stop this from continuing on?  Because right now every female that you’ve crushed is simply...done crying over you.

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Love Train

A relationship is a connection between two individuals.  When two people fall in love it has become a loving relationship.  The relationship has moved from two people simply in contact with each other to two people who can't get enough of each other.  A loving relationship may build slowly like a train coming in the distance until when it get to you it emits a deafening roar.  Or you may be two people totally oblivious to the relationship that is developing when suddenly you are hit with the realization that you have fallen in love.  People are complex and love develops in different ways.

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Good Morning

I wonder what it feels like to wake up to "Good Morning" texts. You know, the kind full of random emojis. A flower or tulip here...maybe even a kissy face with a heart there. I know y'all thinking...here he go, he in his feelings again, but seriously though what's wrong with a guy getting that kind of message? Now, I don't want them coming in from all kind of different females. I want them from "her." The female that's not sending them just because, but because she wants me to see how much she appreciates and cares for me. Even though it's just a "text", it's a great non-verbal expression of what our bond means to her. For me to see that when she wakes up, her mind and soul are filled with thoughts of me early in the morning. Call it what you want, I can't wait to hear that chime and see what her messages say.

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Lost Love

I remember back when I said I was done with love.  It was crazy because it seemed like every female I met wanted what I wanted, except for the true everlasting.  We traveled, we explored, we created some awesome memories...but that’s just all they were, memories.  True enough we talked about forever, but when it came down to it the effort wasn’t there.  I found myself looking in the mirror and questioning what I brought to the table and even if it was meant for me to love, or be loved.  A lover’s heart is a vulnerable piece and one word, one action or statement can make that oh so special section become harden.  In my case, you can say that I was right at the point where the cement was pour and laid evenly over my heart, but it hadn’t completely dried when I heard a soft voice say...”hello, can you help me find the nearest Barnes and Nobles?”  Pulling out my phone for directions, I mentioned that I was headed there as well and wondered if she would be ok with me walking her?  Introducing ourselves and having general conversations along the way, I could tell that she thought I was just trying to run some kind of game until we entered the store and the cashier stopped me to mention that the book I had ordered was in.  Intrigued by her presence, I asked if she could wait a second while I paid for the book so we could continue our conversation?  Unexpectedly, she said yes and after finishing my purchase we made our way to the reader’s area and began chatting again.  A little while into the discussion she asked what the title of the book that I bought was, so I pulled it out of the bag to show her.  Taken by surprise of my choice she said, “that’s a very good book, but aren’t you supposed to read it with a mate?”  I simply replied, “yes, but unfortunately I’m not in that position right now so I chose this book to help guide my steps.”  She slowly nodded her head in agreement and began to ask me how often I came here and what I did for a living.  I returned the questions and added, “it seems like our lifestyles and outlooks are kind of similar, would you be interested in meeting up once a week and reading this book with me?”  With a little hesitation she said sure, and began to pull her phone out to exchange numbers.  Before she could start typing my name in her phone I said, “here...take this, it already has my name and number in it.”  Handing over the book I had purchased I can tell she was taken back by my gesture, but in the same sense she was a very pleased by my manners.  I then bought another copy of “Purpose Drive Life” and asked her to write her name and number in my edition.  From there we made plans to discuss our readings and notes.  That grew into twice a week and now three years later those two strangers have grown into a blessed couple with three wonderful children.  I know for a fact that it was by HIS grace that we met on the block and by his favor that we carried on those conversations because that was the day that I thought I had lost love.

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Climax

Taking a look at her between movements I notice that her breathes are starting to go from shorter to longer, while her moans are getting louder and deeper.  With every push and thrust I can feel her grip becoming tighter and tighter on the bed.  Minutes feel like hours as they pass by.  My back begins to tighten up and the sweat beads are forming all over my body.  All of sudden our bodies begin to become in sync and we start to move as one.  Staring into her eyes and seeing her body start to quiver I could tell we were both reaching that point.  I faintly heard her say, “don’t stop, please don’t stop…keep going."  With each calculated motion I respond, "I got you baby, I’m not stopping until we both get there."  I’m getting a little weak, vision getting blurry and my legs are about to give out…but I give one last push.  We both let out a deep sigh as we open our eyes and see that we finally made it to the top of the stairs with our bed.  Wiping the sweat from her forehead I tiredly say, "next time…lets just have the movers do this."  Moving into a new home can be brutal. 

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Word Play

Home after a long day at work, I come in and find a hot bath waiting on me.  Rose PETALS spread throughout the WATER and soft music playing, I get in and relax.  Taking my time enjoying the essence of my environment I soon snap back into reality as the water begins to turn cold.  Drying off and throwing something on, I can hear a soft VOICE down stairs letting me know the FOOD is ready.  Walking down the steps I see that the rain storm has let up and notice a RAINBOW forming in the distance, through the corridor windows of the house.  Approaching the patio I lock EYES with my queen. I can feel my my HEART begin to RACE like it does each time I see her.  Still shocks me how this woman still steals my breath away with just her presence.  She’s standing there in a sexy DRESS and a work TIE of mines and holding a card.  With the background of a beach, the wind begins to blow a little and pieces of SAND can be seen moving across the SUNSET horizon.  Before we begin to eat she gives me a kiss and hands me the card.  It reads about how she appreciated me for sticking with her during our CROSSROAD and never letting the DESIRE of being loved fade away.  Through it all I helped make all her fantasies, DREAMS come to REALITY and she just wanted me to know how much I meant to her.  Closing the card, I couldn’t do anything but sit back in my seat and shed a tear because the woman of my dreams felt like I was the man of hers.  I stood up, walked over to her and reassured her that no matter what I would be right there by her side to love and motivate her each and every day. 

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Last Chance

Took me a while to man up and say this, but it’s time I put my pride to the side and tell you the truth.  I know they say an ex is an example of what not to go back to, but who said that the next dude is an example of what to run to?  Yea, we’ve both tested the waters and probably fake enjoyed free-styling and breast stroking in them…but look at us now.  Back looking for real commitment, and still hoping to find true love.  You say I shook your World with the news of what happened while we were apart.  And I tell you that I’m proud of the woman you’ve become during the same period.  When we link up we are cautious with our actions and words because not only are the emotions still there, the obvious physical attraction looms and with the absence of intimacy we both know anything is possible.  I might not be the right choice in most people’s eyes but we were brought back in each other’s life for reason, and not just a season.  As you read this understand that I’m not saying it’s gone be easy, or even perfect…but if done right it could a happily ever after experience for us. 

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Love Voyage

We started writing this book of love voyages and martial wishes from different sides of the map.  Each jotting down our own ideas and expectations of meeting that one person who seemed to always appear in our dreams, that one person who could possibly make us whole.  Scripting page after page after page, it seemed unclear that we would ever meet that special individual that was apart of our fairy tale.  Somehow, some way through all the hoping and wishing…the scribbled words of anticipation has now become our reality.  No longer do we have to write separately and from a distance because just like the bind that holds this book our words have become one to complete each chapter that now follows…and like every great story line our love has blossomed and will live on Happily Ever After.

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M.O.R.P.

We talked for hours last night about everything…but there was a slight debate about how we first met.  Everyone used to go to Rolling Acres to find the exclusive gear.  Looking for some Prestos we spotted you and your crew by the food court and over heard ya’ll talking about some upcoming school event called “Morp.”  Exchanging pager numbers and getting other info, we got our fits together.  Coming in trying to shut the scene down, you walked in and caught my full attention.  Dressed in a red Coogi dress, which happened to match my red Coogi sweater and hat, I got a good view of that body and MY GOODNESS!!  To this day, I still love to watch you walk by just look at them legs and hips in motion.  After a few dances that night and attending some upcoming bball games, I knew that you were gone be mines forever.  Your version might be different…but in my opinion that’s how I got you out that body fitting red dress and into a beautiful white wedding dress.

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Can You Stand The Rain

Any relationship will have it’s share of ups and downs.  But the if we can weather the storms and make it though to see the sun shine again, we’ll be just fine.  Tell me baby, can you stand the rain.

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Blind

One of the hardest things to endure for a man, is to see the woman of his dreams with another man.  You find yourself sitting back thinking, is it the sex?  Is it because he has more money than me?  Maybe he’s a better listener?  What habits does he have that I don’t?  You go back and forth with your feelings and reality trying to see how it all went downhill and what really went wrong between you two.  Many sleepless and tearful nights keep you up reflecting on the good times, wondering if they are sharing the same kind of moments.  True enough you try to move on, get you a new chick here…get a little head and even decent sex, but in the end you right back to where you started…in your thoughts of her.  Times like that you wish you were blind and didn’t have to face the sight of a new day.

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Lawn and Gardening

This morning, during breakfast, you said something that made me remember how patient and understanding you've been.  You looked outside and asked me if the grass was ever greener on the other side.  At first I thought you had been sniffing the sugar from your tea, but then I realized you were speaking about my past choices.  I just shook my head and laughed at the thought of how I used to be/think.  Before I could speak you interrupted and said, "you really thought you were gone be missing out on something if you committed to me huh?"  That's when you kissed me, said you loved me...then gazed back outside and told me to hurry home from work so you could show me how my grass treats me after its well taken care of and wet.  I ain't no fool, what wifey wants...wifey gets!! 5pm better hurry up!