pizza poet

Pokémon, music, poetry, kink.

[sipthesoup]

Does your eating disorder ever make you almost die laughing sometimes

- Yelling at myself mentally as I’m throwing up, at the same time as it’s coming out of my mouth, “You’re not trying hard enough. Fucking DO IT. HARDER.”

- Eating one real meal and weighing 4 lbs more than you did before because you haven’t eaten in 3 days.

- Having your goal weight, but there’s that “wiggle room”. So you’re 10 lbs less than your goal weight so that you can keep it.

- Seeing those microcentimeters in your stomach fat.

- And my favorite, that no one can know the voice you have with yourself, and how much you desperately hate it.

[sipthesoup]

For all you bbs struggling, I have lost 52 lbs since COVID started.

What I say:

Iceberg salads with fat-free Italian and lots of water!

What is is:

Bulimia with intermittent fasting.

Girl you can lose 2 lbs a day you just need to hate yourself enough🤷🏻‍♀️

[sipthesoup]

😆Happy in general, cause how can you not be with this shit playing... if my ass was 5” bigger though... 129.5, 10 lbs away from where I need to be on 5/8/21🤞🥵

SW: 172 CW: 129.5 GW 1: 120 GW 2: 89

[sipthesoup]

125 lbs and the beginning of neck bones yas

[sipthesoup]

When your ex sees your tumblr and it’s just your eating disorder

[promiaplus]

[sipthesoup]

9/27/20

LW: 89 GW1: 118 SW: 170 CW: 125.6

Wedding dress fitting tomorrow and I made it to 125! I’m out of vyvanse (not that it’s even working anymore since I take 3 a day when I’m prescribed one😭) so the next to weeks will be a mix of restricting, eating guiltily and purging everything. I hate this disease...

[sipthesoup]

9/24/20

LW: 89 lbs GW: 118 SW: 170 CW: 128

Soooooo close to GW1. I can’t believe it- downside, my wedding dress will be loose, but hey it’ll make me look slimmer right :/

Thank you vyvanse!!! Second dress fitting on Monday, will be 125 lbs.

[sipthesoup]

Meanspo

You ate that 300 calorie lunch and thought you did a good job?

You’re a failure. You *know* the scale could’ve been less later and you *chose* to eat that. What the fuck? Do you even care? You’re on here BRAGGING about your god damn eating disorder and here you are eating again. You just want attention. God, you make me so sick. Try again tomorrow pig, because today is ruined, and if you don’t throw it up you’re literally worthless.

[sipthesoup]

7/20

LW: 89 GW1: 118 SW: 170 CW: 138.0

💃💃

[sipthesoup]

7/23/20

LW: 89 GW 1: 118 SW: 170 CW: 138.8

Only a fewwww more lbs and I’m solidly under 140. Thank you, Vyvanse, for breaking my plateau! I started taking it the other day and didn’t think about food for 48 hours. Made myself eat last night to get my metabolism back, fasting today <3 136 tomorrow. I might actually make it to 130 before trying on wedding dresses on 8/1.

I wish I was as good at exercising as I am at having anorexia.

[sipthesoup]

7/22/20

LW: 89 GW 1: 118 SW: 170 CW: 139.6

New low, but who is ever happy about that? I’m still fat.

This week is gonna be a bitch. I’m trying on wedding dresses on 8/1 and have 10 days to lose 9 lbs. I refuse to not be 130 and I’m justifying it by saying I don’t want to get my dress altered since I’ll probably lose more weight by October (wedding).

Got my script for Vyvanse finally, so I didn’t eat at all yesterday, but I think stimulants somehow slow down my metabolism. I find that if I fast without it I can lose more in 24 hours than with not eating because of a pill.

137 tomorrow. If I feel like eating, take a Vyvanse.

[sipthesoup]

7/17/20

LW: 89 GW 1: 118 SW: 170 CW: 142.4

Had Ethiopian food with an old friend last night, and for the first time in months I didn’t feel guilty and was glad I didn’t purge. When I was at the height of my anorexia in high school I did this practice I called “2 steps forward, 1 step back”: Fast for 2-3 days, binge one. I’d gain a lb consistently but lose 2 or 3. I remember telling my roommate in high school about this- and her thinking it was an actual diet and telling someone about it. I laughed my ass off. no, that’s not a “diet.”😭

So fasting today and I’ll be down to 140 tomorrow, which is new low not counting the 3 days that I was on adderall a few weeks ago. I feel satisfied enough in the treat I had last night that I can do it today. Need to be 130 by 8/1.

[sipthesoup]

7/16/20

LW: 89 GW 1: 118 SW: 170 CW: 141.4

Fasted yesterday except PBRs. I know I was able to get the 2 lbs off because my metabolism is back from not restricting, so maybe I’ll eat today? Probably not.

Need to drink something besides black coffee and beer, though :/ I once actually googled whether you could survive only having beer as a diet, and it was a big fat no.

[sipthesoup]

I want to be so thin that people see me and whisper that I have anorexia

[sipthesoup]

Fuck this semi recovery bullshit. Goal weight 88

[sipthesoup]

Hey self you can lose 13 lbs in 2 weeks without laxatives right😆