bad moon rising

kurt hummel twenty two, lima heights listen, I am going to be real honest here, to try to help spare your delicate sensibilities. I probably don't give half a fuck about anything you have to say. got it?

[skankhummel]

📲 kurt 💞

MARLEY: U got a busy week coming up or what bc I'm tryna snuggle.

KURT: Do I ever? I'm free and happy to snuggle

[skankhummel]

texts - puck&kurt

puck: Surprisingly? Ouch, Hummel.

kurt: I can't be overly praiseworthy, people will think I am easy to please and not at all high maintenance

[skankhummel]

Text ✉ Kurt & Santana

Santana: Good for him and you. The praise thing totally checks out so it makes sense that he'd want to be great at it.

Santana: I think Finn and I accidentally flirted last night online and I weirdly thought it was hot. Which is obviously a sign that I haven't had an orgasm produce by someone else in far too long.

Santana: Do you think I should text Hunter and see if he'd be interested? I mean he's an asshole but he's good in bed and I'm clearly desperate.

Kurt: If you do that the only message you are sending is that it's okay to treat you the way he was treating you

[skankhummel]

texts - finn&kurt

finn: you don't think they would?

kurt: They would be afraid of me stinking it up, I am sure

[skankhummel]

texts - blaine&kurt

blaine: Will do ;)

blaine: It was just a little unexpected, that's all.

kurt: Doing what is expected of you is completely boring

[skankhummel]

Text ✉ Kurt & Santana

Santana: Ever since I ended things with Hunter my sex life has drastically taken a hit. Please tell me yours has been more exciting and if it has, let me live through you?

Kurt: I can tell you Blaine is a LOT better in bed than I expected. And likes to be praised, which was expected but now confirmed

[skankhummel]

texts - finn&kurt

finn: yeah, but now that I think about it, you could totally try it on those mckinley kids. they definitely have enough confidence to wear stuff like you. charge 'em for makeovers and make some cash.

kurt: That would mean trusting me to be near them, or with their clothes

[skankhummel]

texts - puck&kurt

puck: Sweet! Lookin forward to it

kurt: Surprisingly, so am I

[skankhummel]

📲 kurt 💞

MARLEY: Yeah but you still love me so we have that part

KURT: Very very true

[skankhummel]

texts - kurt&hunter

hunter: You did too!

kurt: Wow, middle school comeback. Proud of you. I'm gay and you're not bad looking!

[skankhummel]

texts - kurt&hunter

HUNTER: I'm sorry?

KURT: Nothing

[skankhummel]

texts - finn&kurt

finn: i like to think i have it, but not enough for that.

kurt: So we have learned. Highly unfortunate, though

[skankhummel]

texts - puck&kurt

puck: If you're not doing nothing, we could chill for a bit, smoke.

kurt: I'd totally be down for that, man. I'm completely free

[skankhummel]

📲 kurt 💞

MARLEY: This is why you are my smartest and sexiest friend.

KURT: Of course I am. Unfortunately for you also gay or we'd make a great couple and dominate this place

[skankhummel]

texts - blaine&kurt

blaine: I don't know - we'd only just met and it was a little forward? So I wasn't sure. But that's good to know.

blaine: Perfect.

kurt: Because I never saw what beating around the bush accomplished. So just say what you want

[skankhummel]

texts - kurt&quinn

Quinn: I have a feeling you remember it- you're just playing coy.

Quinn: It doesn't matter that much, anyways.

Kurt: Clearly it did or you wouldn't have asked

[skankhummel]

texts - kurt&hunter

hunter: I was not

kurt: Were too! It wasn't just ONE kiss. You kissed me then went in for another one.