Rita's Rambles

Me, Myself and I

[skeeterbeetle]

Rita. Hi Rita. What are you doing? What are you wearing?

None of your business, it might have been if you had come home Before midnight last night!

P.s Love you sweety Xx

[skeeterbeetle]

Rita!!!!! I'm bored. Rita.

Then, my darling Gilly why don't you invest in a nice little hobby, like pickle making or Japanese flower arranging.. Oooh why don't you arrange all your ascots by colour spectrum instead of by how much they make you feel like James Bond. Remember you said the blue one made you feel 100% 007 but the red one was more a Marlin Brando look. OR you could arrange them by alphabetical name order.

Your number one fan, I support you honey!

Love Rita ;)

[skeeterbeetle]

Here’s a word of advice; don’t provoke a wounded animal, you will get bitten.

Ooh, a dog with an atitiude. How sassy. Can you hear the sarcasm in here or is it just me? hmm..

Isn't it time someone gave you your vacinations and put you back in your cage?

P.S This is me impersonating you ;)

[haynesycolt-deactivated20130720]

So I've read Rita's new article...

[skeeterbeetle]

I’m talking to someone who apparently whores out her ability to talk shite.

Well next time make sure that “other people” does not include me. There are eight billion people in the world, I’m sure you could find one that isn’t me to lie about.

Maybe you aren't listening, let me make myself clearer. I am Rita Skeeter, I do whatever I have to do to get a story and  I don't give a tiny rat's ass if this invades your personal life.

Oooh how reckless of me, that's what you're used to right? people cowering because mummy and daddy are rich pure bloods. Well listen to this princess, I don't care who you are, I write what I want to. You want a re-print? a chance to explain? then I will happily interview you. Thats all.

[skeeterbeetle]

Shut up, witch!

That’s a stereotype, one that is not true of all wolves.

I wish that some people would see that I’m a person, not some monster.

Ooh i'm quaking in my fur boots,

Mental note, never cross an animal rights activist, they have far too much to say.

[howltothemoon-corinna-deactivat]

Nothing ever seems to go right for me.

[skeeterbeetle]

Poor little wolf-girl, whats the problem now?                                      

Did you accidentally eat someone again?

Bad dog!! Naughty!

[haynesycolt-deactivated20130720]

So I've read Rita's new article...

[skeeterbeetle]

Excuse you? There is no R that we need to D.

Just.. mind your own business, and stay out of my personal affairs.

Do you know who I am?? do you really know who you're talking to??

You see, it's my job and business to poke into other peoples affairs.

[its-all-lockhart-deactivated201]

Is it possible to be having a bad cuticle day?

Because, it seems that I’ve accomplished this… 

[skeeterbeetle]

What's wrong Honey?

[haynesycolt-deactivated20130720]

So I've read Rita's new article...

[skeeterbeetle]

Where’s the fun in talking about things you know nothing about?

You know nothing of what’s between me and Lucius, me and my sister, or her and him. 

Oh I get it! you didn't know and you Lucy still need to DTR, don't worry i've got ya, mum's the word or rather... sister.

[skeeterbeetle]

You do tend to be a little too pushy though.

Well that's not so insulting, truthful though it may be I don't detect malice. Unlike that good for nothing Lovegood who has made it his personal goal to make snide remarks about me. I shall turn a blind eye to your little punch up the other week. But just this once, I have a rep to protect and Rita Skeeter doesn't do favours!

[skeeterbeetle]

Rita... What are you doing with your life...?

Everything! What are you doing with your life?

[skeeterbeetle]

The only person who exaggerates things is you, Skeeter.

Ooh burrn! you have mortally offended me, I shall never be the same!!               Also on a totally unrelated note, how well do you detect sarcasm?

[haynesycolt-deactivated20130720]

So I've read Rita's new article...

Can’t some people stay out of other people’s business?

[skeeterbeetle]

Where's the fun in that??

[skeeterbeetle]

That’s interesting coming from someone who said they didn’t exist.  

Bats can’t sneeze, and wrackspurts are invisible. Your description of a Crumple-Horned Snorkack is actually kind of right.

Didn’t you say at Hogwarts that you wanted to murder every Blast-Ended Skrewt in the world?

Yeah, well that was until Lawrence! I still haven't found his killer! It wouldn't surprise me if you were somehow involved!

[theoneandonlynargleking-deactiv]

P.S. Crocodiles and alligators don’t know what love and friendship are. So it’s not recommended you try to show them it. Like all common animals, they strive to bring offspring to the world and survive. They aren’t as intelligent as creatures such as wrackspurts or certain Crumple-Horned Snorkacks. 

[skeeterbeetle]

Crumple-Horned Snorkacks and Wrackspurts don't know diddly-squat! Wrackspurts look like a bat someone sneezed and a Crumple Horned Snorkack looks like an overgrown gargantuan sheep!

P. S Blast Ended Skrewts are the most clever animals, everyone knows that!

[skeeterbeetle]

You know Crocodiles and Alligators I have found make EXCELLENT pets when you just get to understand their needs, all they want is love and friendship, if you look after them they will in turn give you their own special love.

P.S they would only ever bite you if you neglected to feed them or angered them, much like a dog.

[theoneandonlynargleking-deactiv]

It’s funny how you always attack me, and then yell at me about attacking you. Yet when I say on silly little thing about you, you scream about it. I think you’re the one that needs to leave the other alone. You really are very, very mean, Rita.

[skeeterbeetle]

And you always enjoy acting like a pathetic wounded victim Lovegood, yet you never seem to hold back in accusing me of being shallow and uncaring, stop pitying yourself, hmm?