Let me share a mini story with you guys about this little guy.
Back in the middle of my high school career, when I was a quiet ball of rage, I made a character called ‘Lucius’. I was following Pewdiepie’s playthrough of the game by the same name, and the little demonic kid inspired me to make a little, demon shit of my own. He was meant to just be a personification of my lil’ shit laptop I had at the time, but as I grew more attached to his concept, he ended up becoming an OC of mine, and is now one of my main OCs.
Now back when I created him, I was just starting to take drawing much more seriously, so I thought of drawing him a few times. However, this was the beginning of my ‘I draw only chicks’ phase, so I had little to no courage of drawing males at the time. So I stuck to doll maker games in order to have a general image of what I wanted him to look like.
Once I began to experiment with drawing different things, I gave drawing him a try. Naturally, it didn’t turn out so well, so I actually threw in the towel, because I was so discouraged that I couldn’t draw one of my own characters like I wanted. So this turned me off to the thought of drawing guys for a long while.
Today, I’ve been thinking about re-designing a lot of my old OCs for the heck of it, so I finally gathered my guts and whatevs and gave him another shot.
And he looks so fucking great.
Like, almost three years after making him, he finally looks how I’ve always wanted him to look. (More or less.)
Three years of doubting myself and trial and error. Of criticizing myself and getting angry at a piece of paper, or a messy ‘canvas’. All resulted to this? This is fucking great!
It doesn’t seem like a whole lot, but this means so much to me, and I couldn’t contain my happiness. I actually cried happy tears, and I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.
But it feels really good, seeing that I actually HAVE improved. Like, I have a reason to be proud of myself now!
So, I just wanna share this accomplishment with you guys! Because today’s a good day for me, and I’m just really happy!