A lot of people talk about how they avoid mirrors because they hate the way they look, but that’s the exact reason I stop at every mirror I see. I need to see how gross I look and make sure I’m sucking in as much as humanly possible. I need to see how much I’m embarrassing myself in public with my gross body. I use that as motivation to keep going. Every mirror, window, etc. as long as people aren’t around I stop to look. I need to look. I need to see what everyone else sees to remind myself how absolutely disgusting I am. It’s almost addictive. The way I look in the mirror and I don’t see the person that I feel like I am. How the anger boils up into tears threatening to slide down my cheeks. I hate the way I look so much. I have to keep reminding myself why I do this…