ive begun doing crunches again, in the same bed i did the same in as 7 years ago.
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
almost home

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Show & Tell

#extradirty
Sade Olutola
occasionally subtle
todays bird

Janaina Medeiros

@theartofmadeline
dirt enthusiast
Stranger Things
Three Goblin Art
Claire Keane
Not today Justin
RMH
hello vonnie
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

titsay
Mike Driver

seen from Brazil
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Sweden

seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Canada
@skinnyysweets
ive begun doing crunches again, in the same bed i did the same in as 7 years ago.
hello? anyone alive?
today i had a sausage roll, a few chocolate eggs and a chicken pizza
my neighbour just let out a noise very similar to a sneeze so bless her ig
Nothing taste as good as skinny feels.
also i broke up with my fiance, shaved my head and am living paycheck to paycheck, but at least
it sucks that i just have to sit and be okay with hunger because of financial trouble when i actually want to eat and have the energy to keep myself afloat
it also sucks that i'm kind of glad? this is comforting
IM BROKE AND SPIRALLING 🗣📣
did you figure out the cw: cheating thing? im kinda in the same situation but my bf would never even listen to me. idk if he even wants me anymore
we had a big talk about it, almost broke up, but in the end we just decided to keep choosing each other. he said he'll consider trying more of my 'interests', but ofc if he doesn't feel comfortable doing them again after trying, then we won't do it again
caffeinated period shits are NOT it my friends
on another note, still alive, doing ok, lots of big scary but exciting things happening
cw: s3x, intrusive thoughts, cheating
i don't know where else to put this so i'm putting it here ig. idk if it'll make it out of the drafts. also, anyone who responds bitchy or dms me looking for nud3s will get blocked and reported.
since dealing with my depression has gotten much easier, thanks to therapy and medication, my l1bido has returned to a normal-if-not-slightly-higher amount. i'm also p k1nky, have plenty of non-vanilla interests that i really want to explore. my fiance however does not share those interests, and because of work stress, his libido is basically non-existent right now. i can fully understand him, if he doesn't want to then he doesn't want to, end of sentence. but i am needy.
i have a really close friend. he shares a lot of my non-vanilla interests. he's moving here soon.
i wouldn't dream of cheating on my fiance. i love him with all my heart, and i would never want to hurt him in such a way. but fuck i'm h0rny, and i would be lying if i hadn't thought about opening the relationship or asking my fiance if i can find s3xual relief elsewhere. but that would absolutely break him. i brought it up to my fiance earlier, about my l1bido and k1nks, and i also told him i understand his limits and respect them, but i don't know what to do with myself and my needs. i might talk to my therapist about this, but our next appointment is a month away.
the reason i put cw intrusive thoughts is because i do have dreams sometimes, about being in compromising situations with my friend, and when i wake up, it takes a moment to process what i dreamt about. i always feel really awkward and guilty afterwards, and i don't know what to think of those dreams and what they make me feel.
basically this is a shout for help, maybe someone who follows me has been through this aswell and could share some advice. preferably through dms.
ok bye
so much in my life has spiralled out of control the past 3 days, and the one thing i have control over is what i eat.
so i'm back for now.
not counting calories, just restricting.
or maybe i just need to wait for my meds to kick in 🤪
got y'all real good xD
so much in my life has spiralled out of control the past 3 days, and the one thing i have control over is what i eat.
so i'm back for now.
not counting calories, just restricting.
i downloaded bitepal, an ai calorie tracking app, and set my weight loss goal to 75kg, losing 0.3kg a week. it's slightly risky because calories are closely related to 3d in my brain, but i'm trying to disconnect the two and focus more on eating enough and healthier.
i'm still on sick leave from work, but this summer, i will probably be going back, 20hrs a week. scared but curious as to how it'll go.
therapy is going great.
if any of my moots want a place where im more active, get Dumps
it's like if collages and social media made a baby
my invite code is braindump
lil update on how recovery is going:
i had a bad couple days right after my period, and i had lots of thoughts and intentions to relapse into my ed, but i had an appointment with a psychiatrist, who upped my antidepressants, and even tho i just started, i already feel much better.
i've started having breakfast every day 😱, i had a biiig ol binge period, aka fast food every day, a bag of chips for breakfast, that kinda thing, and i've really started feeling how shitty that is for my body, i was really bloated for a couple days, had stomach pain etc, so i've started putting more effort into a healthier 'diet', more vegetables and fruits, snacks sometimes because balance, and i think it's really helped with feeling better on every aspect.
i think i want to go back to the gym soon-ish, i wanna become the muscle mommy 2023 me wanted to be, not necessarily thin, but strong as hecc, i do want to focus on eating healthier first, aka keep going like i have been, i want to see if i can find some slow/easy workout routines that seem fun enough to be able to stick to it
all in all, doing okay, getting there, setting goals for myself
little update bc it's been a while
i'm still vegetarian lol
i'm still depressed and su1c1d4l but on meds, going to therapy and seeing a psychiatrist next week ish
i haven't cvt since 15th march
i told the people closest to me how it's going, what I'm thinking and feeling and i asked for their help to keep me in check
i'm on my period rn so i'm feeling very tired and useless, and idk if that's just my period or other things or both, guess we'll have to wait and see
all in all, not dead, starting to live again