geno is score

as it turns out i was not immune to mitch marner propaganda

[austronauts]

the mitch marner (emotional support twink) primer

this originally existed as an unhinged googledoc I made for my friend and myself but more people started asking for it so I’m transferring it to my tumblr instead.  I apologize in advance for uh, everything about this really.  also thank you to all the tumblrs i link here!!!!!!!!!!!  i’ll update/edit this as the need arises.

Sections are organized as follows:

general soft boy shit (aka “hes just a little dude...but my god is he loud”)

Mitch & his many dads/older brothers: aka Mitch and his Daddy Issues aka Why does every older man on your team become your dad? Why does every older man on your team come to take you under his muscular wing & come to view you as a yappy little pursedog that must be protected? WHY??????  (This section spiraled out of my control. I’m sorry)

Mitch Marner/Dylan Strome: ALSO an analysis of how auston needs to do better bc Dylan is a fellow SIMP and let me tell you: THEIR MUTUAL LOVESICK PUPPY behavior IS SOME GOOD SHIT

Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews: The vegan macaron/hunky meatwall (with mustache) ship that keeps me nourished and hydrated

SECTION 1: Primer & Soft Boy Shit

I’m not really going to talk about Mitch’s career and skills and all that because that’s what wikipedia pages are for. And if you ever watch Mitch play his skills are so so so obvious and mind-boggling. I’m just going to go straight into the sicko shit of what makes me want to like... gnaw on him like a chewtoy and squeeze him like a gogurt packet until he explodes.

https://pyrexic.tumblr.com/post/133980108208/if-anyone-wanted-to-know-what-happens-when-you  I actually put this up top because this…I think is the most important primer you could read before delving into this monstrous documentation of my insanity. Why, you ask? Because it reveals a huge part of Mitch’s essence: someone who constantly wants and needs affection, is always giving affection, and seems almost embarrassingly transparent about it. Like, I grew up with jocks my whole life and have SEEN how toxic their social media is + how performative masculinity prevents them from showing vulnerability and affection. So, obviously this is a cherry-picked selection of tweets, but I do find it sweet that he doesn’t seem to shy away from public declarations of love or acting like a puppy with a twitter account. 

This other mitch marner primer that’s far better than mine and gives you more insight into mitch’s life and how unbearably soft and squishy he is

https://theathletic.com/2469915/2021/03/25/mitch-marner-ohl-season/ An article that talks about what Mitch was like before he debuted in the NHL. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ARTICLE but does have a paywall…if you don’t have a subscription, copy+pasting the athletic link into here should allow you to bypass

This episode of Connor Carrick (one of his former teammates)’s podcast that Mitch is featured on gives so much insight into Mitch’s personality and the guiding principles he tries to live by in sports and life. He’s just so genuinely caring and soft. CARING AND SOFT.

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157908305701/theres-no-need-to-size-up-mitch-marner An entire article about how small Mitch is basically? I include it here bc of the part where Matt Martin (Mitch’s first Leaf Dad) makes fun of Mitch for being tiny lmao

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/155875792161 Just some soft boop images of Mitch Marner barnacle-ing himself onto various different meaty men “Dylan, what should people know about Mitch?” “He loves cuddling” AhahahaHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA oh my goddddddd

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157080767571/im-so-bitter-about-the-fact-that-they-made-him Auston saying Mitch’s cheeriness in the morning is a bit too much sometimes lmao. He looks GENUINELY tired and fed up. It’s great

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156622951361/bonus-when-talking-about-mitch-and-auston EARNEST BABY KNOW-IT-ALL MITCHY Also Matthew Tkachuk talking about how loud Mitch is.  Mitch being really loud is a KNOWN THING (Morgan Rielly: “he just never shuts up”)

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/178636861456/auston-he-mitch-is-notorious-for-watching “Mitch is notorious for watching these kids cartoons movies,” said known cinephile auston matthews

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157524671086/mitch-marner-rockin-those-knee-high-socks-since Just a knobby-kneed cutie :’’’)

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/166824930006/a-guy-that-is-so-small-poor-mitchy-lol “A guy that is so small.” “A GUY THAT IS SO SMALL”

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/172351445501 “Just a fun goofy kid” :’’’) wow they love their pup

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159612343906/yes-keep-on-praising-my-son-please Just some players praising rookie Mitch for his skill…and ofc talking about how small he is lmao

SECTION 2: ZADDY! Mitch the baby leaf & His Team of (ex-) Leaf Dads. (aka Mitch anytime he meets a man even 1 day older than him: Hello are u my dad? HI DAD)

So i think it’s important to preface this section with the note that Mitch has a definite habit of attaching himself to any older player he can consider a father figure/older brother. He says things like “he takes care of me,” or “I feel taken care of,” or “I feel protected,” when talking about these teammates, which makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that Mitch really really really wants to feel protected and safe (wats mitch’s love language? just being a little dude!). I’m not going to psychoanalyze here… but I do think it’s interesting that Mitch’s dad is notorious for being a “Hockey Dad” who pushed Mitch relentlessly on and off the ice, and has antagonized himself somewhat in the media and from the Maple Leafs team for toxic behavior. (For reference, I’ll just share This documentary about Mitch when he was really young ) I know Mitch loves his dad and that Mitch wouldn’t be where he is without that passion and sacrifice from his parents, and I cannot IMAGINE everything Mitch’s dad did to help Mitch get where he is in his career. But at the same time, Mitch’s hunger for older supportive father figures who will “protect” and “take care of” him seems much more pronounced than any other athlete i’ve followed. Because Mitch has so many dads, this part is broken into subsections, ordered by increasing significance lmao. The 2 MOST important dads are at the end (Matt Martin, Patrick Marleau)

Dad Subsection: Random Assortment of dads/older brothers

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159281136646/so-i-just-asked-who-mitchs-roomie-on-the-road-is Zach Hyman - not that much older than Mitch. Still dad

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686879090146492416/travisdermott-x Zach Hyman - seeing/hearing Mitch singing loudly during his media interview

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685016310642622464/oilers-leafs-january-5-2022 Zach Hyman - complimenting Mitch and calling him “Mitchy” even after he got traded to a rival team. 

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684698381637025792 Zach Hyman - just really loves Mitch a lot!

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684698793746300928/a-little-nerdy-kid Nathan Mackinnon - putting this here because this isn’t really DAD content per se but it is one of the cutest fucking things I’ve ever read. Nathan Mackinnon really EMPHASIZES how small Mitch is at least THREE times. This entire interview is literally Nate just going “Minch is just a little dude and I’m going to kidnap him” over and over again? The hilarious thing is - according to their official NHL profiles they are the same height lmao (although Nathan has ~13 kgs on Mitch) WHAT IS THE TRUTH?

https://9116.tumblr.com/post/680170009989906432 Again, Mo isn’t really a DAD per se, but this video of Mitch feeding Mo a timbit is adorable. Also, Mo is just great. 

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159731626681/someone-had-the-guts-to-touch-mitch-so-papa-bozie Tyler Bozak - dad. And DAD PROTECC

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685458623405703168/willynylanders-why-are-you-so-happy-me Mitch hugging James van Riemsdyk like a little koala bear because why not?

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/158514417666/mitch-kicking-the-puck-jvr-standing-up-for-his James van Riemsdyk - who “RARELY FIGHTS” - standing up immediately for Mitch and fighting the opposing team player who hit Mitch. They love their little son. Honestly seeing how much Mitch is loved by the older players is one of the most endearing things I’ve ever seen with my tired cynical eyeballs.  Mitch also vacationed with JVR (and Justin Holl who will get his own subsection) in Italy this summer. 

https://brandoncarlo.tumblr.com/post/161798964692/sorry-brian Brian Boyle - chirping Mitch for his poor baseball skills. Mitch, earnestly responding - “Sorry, Brian”

https://brandoncarlo.tumblr.com/post/158757352277/theyre-all-bullies Brian Boyle - casual bullying is a hockey dad’s greatest love language

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156925254931/please-let-the-chin-grab-forever-be-a-thing-it This is how you do a goal celly with a baby, apparently. a little chin grabbing

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156292739506/glovesdropped-one-thing-these-kids-bring-to-the This is how you do a goal celly with a baby Part II

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156416870286/a-pup-with-his-dad-and-two-uncles-3 Mitch and his adoring circle of dads

Dad Subsection: Zach Bogosian

During Covid, Zach’s wife and kids were stuck in the States, so Mitch and his fiancee invited Zach to live with them. Zach is 8 yrs older than Mitch and looks at least 15 yrs older (I mean this in a complimentary way to both lmao). 

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684638392862048257/its-just-intensely-precious-that-bogo-wasnt-with Their special handshake!

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/683014218066411520 Special handshake again! (

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684638108496642048 They went on vacation together (also please note the size difference of bogo’s and mitch’s HANDS????????? Bogo’s GIANT POTLID HANDS vs. Mitch’s dainty little hands)

https://twitter.com/kristen_shilton/status/1441424046772482053 Interviewer: what is it like to live with Zach? Mitch: well first of all Zach is a DADDY

https://www.sportsnet.ca/nhl/video/bogosian-marner-living-together/?show_id=13373 Zach talking about what it was like to live with Mitch. Zach is a pretty good and enthusiastic interviewer (compared to other hockey players who have the off-ice charisma and eloquence of a rock covered in dead grass bits), but the way his face - especially his eyes - visibly soften when he starts talking about living with Mitch?? Yes I’m reading into shit way too much but you can tell how genuine his affection for Mitch and Steph is.

Dad subsection: Justin Holl

Justin also lived with Mitch during Covid and apparently have the closest friendship on the Leafs (devastating day for all auston/mitch shippers. I jest but seriously. Noone knew that they were that close until recently and we were all shook).

Ok I already have a Mitch/Justin primer here so am just going to link that https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686949261073645568/wait-justin-holl-lore-as-a-verified-lore

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682592207827517441 Vacationing together in Miami *They vacationed together again this summer in Italy and Paris

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686698201859915776/dermott-via-12jholls-instagram-story-december Spending Christmas together

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682365966615805952/mitch-just-getting-bullied-x Casual bullying

Dad Subsection: Nazem Kadri

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/171446123931 Nazem Kadri - DAD

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159349132011/ive-had-thorough-conversations-with-all-of-them NAZEM KADRI - DAD AGAIN (also “mitch is my special project” is so cute wtf)

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686422919286587392/anzekopistar-thank-you-naz-for-this-blessing Mitch looking like a tumescent little THUMB in Naz’s instagram story (of the 2 of them hanging out at a baseball game together)

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684926483647627264/tysbarrie-post-game-nazem-kadri-january-25 It’s the way Naz’s entire face softens into a fond smile when he notices Mitch for me. WHYyYYyy

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684926399776194560/travisdermott-from-a-teammates-point-of-view An excellent comprehensive set of Mitch + Naz moments

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682260490254254080/actual-puppy-mitch-marner I love that Naz’s instinct with Mitch is to actually treat him like a puppy lmao. No but forreal I find this gif so endearing it makes me want to gnash my teeth and run into the woods.

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/681995581230612480/andersens-source Naz is the “cool dad”  part 1 - Mitch and Naz playing pranks on unsuspecting teammates and finding it the most hilarious thing on this planet

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685561480832303104/weewillynylanders-nazem-kadri-vs-mitch-marner Naz is the “cool dad” part 2 - gamer bros

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/160854392336 Nazem Kadri posts instagram pic. Son Mitch complains that he’s not tagged in it. He is not tagged in it because HE IS NOT IN THE PHOTO. Dad Nazem tags Mitch anyway. LOVE THIS

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157791804906/but-guys-mitch-used-this-for-his-new-instagram Where Mitch - with the use of a single emoji - emphatically declared “I’m baby.”

THE VERY IMPORTANT SUBSECTION: MATT MARTIN - so it turns out that Matt was the ultimate OG team dad/older brother/emotional support jock for Mitch when he was a wee rookie. Their relationship is actually the cutest fucking thing and i may scream right now in this club. The most important part of Their Lore is that when Mitch was a rookie, the Leafs’ then coach Mike Babcock did this terrible thing of asking Mitch to rank all his teammates (literally ALL older and more experienced than him) by work ethic. Babcock presumably did this to teach Mitch that Mitch needed to work harder, but my GOD, what an incredibly shitty thing to do to a rookie. Anyway, Mitch made this list and put himself down last, which is probably what Babcock intended. THe real shitty thing Babcock did though was to TELL the Leafs that Mitch ranked in the bottom 3 that MITCH RANKED THEM IN THE BOTTOM 3. Again, I cannot emphasize enough - what the fuck and WHY would you do this to a rookie who’s trying to adjust to the NHL and fit into the team??? Anyway, to give massive amounts of credit to the Leafs here (because we know of a lot of toxic lockerrooms that would not have done the same), they all defended Mitch (who literally cried when this happened because of course you would!). Matt Martin, however, got HEATED in particular and apparently got into a fight with Babcock that escalated so much that other teammates needed to intervene. Apparently this massive break in the relationship between Babcock and Matt Martin was one of the factors that led to Matt Martin getting traded to the Islanders soon after. But anyway, they still seem to be close (Mitch went to Matt Martin’s wedding; Matt Martin LITERALLY wears a Mitch jersey - NOT FROM HIS MAPLE LEAFS DAYS BUT FROM MITCH’S PRE-NHL LONDON KNIGHTS DAYS; Matt Martin wore a chain/necklace with Mitch’s jersey number - 16 - on it at his own wedding. WHAT IS GOING ON???? Matt Martin’s now wife Sydney also treats Mitch like a son & was an older sister figure for Mitch’s fiancee Steph etc. no honestly if you don’t let me stop i will go on forever so just please muzzle me and drag me away from my laptop this instant)

Also there’s genuinely so much Mitch/Matt moments so I’m sorry to do this but I must direct you to my Matt Martin tag because there’s more here. I do tend to reblog the same things over and over again mostly due to my shit memory, but THIS IS REALLY the most comprehensive Matt/Mitch shit out there I GUARANTEE YOU. if u dont believe me we can make a bet about it on draftkings or whatever shit wayne gretzky is shilling out there these days.

With this incredibly long preface out of the way, I now present:

Leaf to Leaf video between Matt & Mitch part 1 This is literally…the flirting and sexual tension - this is why toronto maple leafs deleted this video from their channel i just know it. No but seriously - their playful chirping (and Mitch trying to insult Matt twice and immediately backing down because Mitch Marner is BAD AT VERBAL JABS), their agreement to go to Italy TOGETHER just THE TWO OF THEM, THE BLINDFOLDED SENSUOUS MAPLE SYRUP TASTING. SIR, WHAT IS GOING ON. FELLAS IS IT GAY?

Leaf to Leaf video between Matt & Mitch Part 2  The actual Part 2 has disappeared into the void of the internet but this video has most of it - the argument about who’s better at Monopoly. HELP. They’re both so fucking dumb and I’m going to eat them.

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/166941715371  i am being attacked

lichtrally the sweetest photo of all time I WILL NOT STOP YELLING

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/166775411676 Mitch basically - “ok so Matt Martin is my dad”

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156678922086/dare-013117 Dad introduces son to the dark art of smelling salts

Matt on defending Mitch from opponent players: “Noone touches my Mitchy.”

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/155931985081/credit-httpswwwredditcomrleafscomments5o2 MORE DAD SON SUPERSTITIONS AND BONDING

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/158789962401/huggsies-after-the-win-against-the-devils Dad son hug

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156196438546 Dad-son connection. DAD SON VACATION!

THEE MOST IMPORTANT DAD SUBSECTION: MITCH MARNER/PATRICK MARLEAU

So Patty joined the Leafs in 2017, and became Auston and Mitch’s official team dad. Like, Patty literally called Auston and Mitch his 5th and 6th sons several times. Again, I must direct you to my Patrick Marleau tag if you, like me, are a feral internet raccoon that enjoys dumpster diving for CoNtEnT.

But some key moments: 

The Patrick Marleau & Mitch Marner Leaf to Leaf: Part 1 Part 2 Many cute and questionable moments (for example, why does Mitch call a stick figure a pencil man…I genuinely do not understand. Is this a Canadian thing or a Mitch Marner thing (something I have asked myself one too many times), but the most devastating moment is when Mitch asks “what advice would you give me?” and Patty says this. WITH THE SOFT MELLIFLUOUS PIANO IN THE BACKGROUND THAT THE LEAFS VIDEO EDITORS TOTALLY ADDED TO EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATE ME INTO EXPERIENCING ONE (1) FEELING….ITS JUST A LOT

 Patty’s Player’s Tribune message after he retired - the part where he talks about Auston and Mitch especially. Cool cool cool im fine im fine

Mitch, Auston, and Patty getting interviewed by Elliotte Friedman - this is where they talk about how they became close. I think I noted this above somewhere but they bonded by watching Cars 3 together while eating dessert. Mitch and Patty were on one bed. I don’t know how to explain it but this is the most Mitch Marner thing ever, including the dubious choice of movie. I mean, Cars 3? Thee worst Pixar film?

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685443729556979712/cmarleau-our-summer-nights-are-side-note Lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. WHAT is happening.

Mitch & Auston talking about Patty being an old boring dad

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682173512704819200/tysegs-marnsmallow-id-just-like-to-point-out When your biological son wears SOCKS with your adopted son on them, I believe that’s when you can say you’ve reached the absolute pinnacle of fatherhood.

Patty, his wife, and kids being interviewed The best part is when they ask the kids who the best mini-sticks player in their family is, and the exchange between 2 kids go like this: [Who’s the best mini-sticks player] Kid 1 (they dont show who’s speaking here so I don’t know!): MITCH! Kid 2: no they mean in OUR family Kid 1: he IS in our family! 

Section 3: MITCH MARNER/DYLAN STROME: SWEET PUPPY LOVE & BLATANTLY SACCHARINE PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION The real enemies-to-lovers narrative was coming from inside the house (house: the 2015 nhl draft kids)

https://pyrexic.tumblr.com/post/133979944708/the-ballad-of-mitch-and-dylan The Mitch / Dylan primer

https://live-in-fury.tumblr.com/post/146582256497/talk-more-about-stromemarner-i-like-reading The Mitch / Dylan primer part 2

https://mcdavid97.tumblr.com/post/128125813011/the-selfie-result taking derpy selfies together: LMAO

https://crosbs.tumblr.com/post/137934824037/stromarner-firing-it-up-again Dylan Strome to Mitch: “hi bae”

https://hawkwardly.tumblr.com/post/133383650832/smiley-rielly-dylan-stromes-player-cam Dylan & Mitch: being idiot hotel roomies together

https://dwstrome.tumblr.com/post/144624590772/last-hug-first-hug Just 2 boops cuddling

https://live-in-fury.tumblr.com/post/152401123377/do-you-ever-think-about-softstromarner-because-i Literally Dylan Strome: “I love you”

https://wonthetrade.tumblr.com/post/156469676980/in-that-third-gif-of-the-marner-dropping-the-puck Soft boys!!! Also comparing the Mitch/Dylan ship to Mitch/Auston is so interesting bc of how different Dylan and Auston are? It seems Dylan at least MATCHES Mitch’s enthusiasm for simping and cuddling and physical affection and like…wow…Auston…do better!!

https://jasonspezzas.tumblr.com/post/646313515096899584/look-all-im-saying-is-trade-alex-kerfoot-for THEY BOTH LOVE CUDDLING. HOW DO THEY KNOW THIS?

https://virtanucks.tumblr.com/post/155427979527/fruit-salad-by-dylan-strome-feat-mitch-marner Just 2 puppies attacking fruit

Addendum: Mitch’s relationship with Dylan AND Connor Mcdavid aka the 3 top canadian boys from the 2015 NHL draft is really sweet. Most of the Mitch/Connor stuff is captured in my connor mcdavid tag But some additional mitch/dylan/connor stuff - The 2015 NHL draft everglades tour, The 2015 NHL draft baseball game, and this photo I find adorable

SECTION 4: Auston/Mitch Auston/Mitch are the most popular ship out there so I’m going to keep this section relatively concise because, but some cute highlights from MY perspective.

ok honestly - i have some stuff down below but nothing will be as important, comprehensive, or heartbreaking as this incredible 1634 primer written by @typicaltk

https://zoehickel.tumblr.com/post/154354808778/okay-but-auston-and-mitch-canonically-drive This primer is 5 yrs old but i guess in some ways it is the library of alexandria of 1634. So let’s start here.

 I dont have links for this because it’s like eminently obvious in every single photo of them but their size difference is basically...[longest yeah boy in the world.mp4]

One of my favorite things about Mitch and Auston is Mitch’s devotion to gassing Auston up in every media appearance he does: The NHL players discuss fashion trends video - Mitch’s response for everything is “Well I can’t pull that off but u know who can? AUSTON. I JUST THINK HE’S NEAT. HEARD OF HIM?”  NHL players guess their NHL video game rankings video - please note Mitch’s OUTRAGE (and squeaky voice) at how low auston’s score is while auston himself is just “ok cool” 

https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/181380540673/x The most important auston/mitch moment in my humble opinion. HE COULDN’T LET GO OF ME. 

https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/181380206933/x i was looking respectfully* (*= this is a flagrant lie)

https://leafsgm.tumblr.com/post/680835740192718848/mitch-and-austons-heritage-classic-gloves-i they both draw smiley faces and shit on their gloves to remind themselves that hockey is supposed to be fun

https://9116.tumblr.com/post/184088746020/mitch-marner-shot-by-auston-matthews-apple have u ever wondered what mitch looks like from auston’s perspective. now u know

auston chirping mitch on social media:  mitch’s poor baseball skills (ft. mitch’s scrawny butt wiggling lmao)  auston not responding well to mitch nagging auston for instagram tags  auston chirping mitch on instagram then backtracking 

https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/154732764998/x auston: mitch copies (derogatory) my style  mitch: i just copy (affectionate) auston :D *OK I think this deserves more scrutiny because clearly SOMETHING about this moment taught mitch the wrong lesson that adding a hat to any outfit officially elevates the outfit to FASHION, COUTURE, GLAMOUR. and i... give a man a fish u feed him for a day. teach a man about hats and u’ll be tormented with weird hat photos for the rest of ur life. that’s how the saying goes right

Mitch responding to Auston’s GQ photoshoot & trying to be supportive but failing (the moment comes towards the end of the video but including the entire link because he’s cute lol)

https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/664607719503937536/x Auston complimenting Mitch’s karaoke skills

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/680756976047865856/phillymyers-known-goon-mitch-marner-defends KNOWN TWINK GOON MITCH MARNER IMMEDIATELY JUMPING INTO FIGHT A MUCH LARGER MAN FOR HIS MUCH LARGER FRIEND AUSTON MATTHEWS.  Mitch Marner’s fighting skills include: aggressive hugging, weaponized cuddling, ????????????????? 

[16archive]

play stoppage cam 3 extended version! the guy in the back just cheesing staring at mitch.. he's not special

[austronauts]

LMFAO

[fairybreadevangelist]

baby pens scavenger hunt in sweden 2008 🇸🇪

[lekitty]

pens @ ducks | 10.14.25

[16archive]

mitch in the top right cellying by himself by twirling after another doro power play goal he's so

[3416]

this photo...... oh my God (via aenewby on twt)

[16archive]

when I tell you I stared at this in abject horror for a few seconds the first time I saw it.... anyways apparently mitch has opted for extremely casual attire for walk ins now that the nhl dress code has been eliminated lol

[austronauts]

rare genre of mitch marner photos #1: acting corny with flower tucked behind his ear

[austronauts]

I just need to say how often your tags crack me up and improve my day

I also feel most of them on a spiritual level bc I too am definitely 100% chill about Mitch Marner

HAHA thank you so much for this wonderful message 💗 there is nothing i love more than putting him in situations in my tags and im very glad to have u as a spiritual partner in crime

[lekitty]

MITCH MARNER 09.25.25

[goaliesguarddogs-archive]

love to see em in the red jersey

[rainbowmitch]

shameless (via @celebrinienjoyer)

[mitch-mcrner]

“more on mitchy & macklin… the m&m boys” THE 1634/WILLMACK PARALLELS WILL NEVER LEAVE ME

[celebrinienjoyer]

extended mitchcam while the broadcast was on ad break

(VGK vs. LAK, 10/8/2025)

[16archive]

nhl on tnt on twitter: well biz… mitchy marner did come back, and he joined you, hank, wayne and ace at the desk during pregame 😅

full transcript below the cut

"mitch marner."

"does the chain gang still exist now that you're in vegas?"

"oh, it's there."

"I think so. I got my chain on."

"I got mine too [laughs]. that's my only memory [unintelligible] toronto."

"[laughs] we were just talking about what was going through paul's head when he heard the news that you were coming to vegas. but what was going through your head?"

"I think he filed a restraining order [laughs]."

"I heard that. I heard on the walk up. yeah, a lot of excitement. I mean, this is, like I said, when I signed here, great fan base, passionate fan base, great hockey team, and I'm really looking forward to be a part of it."

"we're both toronto area guys. you know toronto's great for families. you've got a young family yourself. how has that been, making that transition here to vegas? 'cause I've heard all the vegas golden knights guys have said vegas is unreal for your family."

"yeah, it's been amazing. yeah, it really has been special. it's really nice living really close to people, living close to one another. a lot of guys have young kids on the team as well, so. yeah, a lot of early morning walks with the kids, with the dogs. that's what you got to do in this heat out here, so we're finding that out pretty quickly. but it's been amazing for the family, for sure."

"I was going to ask him about fatherhood. you just brought it up. miles daniel marner, born in may. so what's it like, that adjustment, away from the rink?"

"yeah, it's been great too. yeah, he's really starting to kind of find his way here. it's hilarious, he's starting to use his hands a lot more. just touching my face, touching everything around him. slowly starting to get through the crawling phase here, so we're starting to get really, I guess, into the crazy part of fatherhood away. I'm not taking my eyes off him, which is great."

"trust me, I had little kids. you're going to spend more time at the hockey rink than you ever have [laughs]".

"road trips will be for sleeping. excited about it."

"mitch, I want to know. like, obviously game one tonight, we played a few preseason games, but can you already tell any difference in the way you feel coming to the rink? obviously we always talk about the high-pressured environment to play in toronto. now you're playing here great fan base, but it's still different. have you felt any different coming to the rink?"

"maybe just like a little more nervous, or butterflies in a way. just, it's new to me. new place, new team. you know, I, I think the guys have really done a great job of bringing me in and, you know, make me feel like I've been here for a long time, which has been great. but you know, obviously, the drive to the rink, you see the palm trees, you've got the sun, you got the mountains all around you. it's a bit of a different drive sometimes, but, yeah, it's been great coming here. the fans, like I said, have been really passionate even those two preseason games- two preseason games or three I played. it's been a lot of fun."

"you know, when you come on here, we're going to hit you with the hard-hitting questions. I don't know, who's picking up that first dinner bill? yourself or jack eichel?"

"I know, yeah."

"both signed the big tickets."

"$13 million. that deal's official, $13 million a year for jack eichel [the actual rate is 13.5 lol], and you're both locked up long term here."

"yeah, it's amazing. I know. I didn't know, but I was taking my nap, obviously. I woke up to my son on my lap and my wife telling me about the great news. so that's awesome. I'm super excited to see him and congratulate him on that. I'm super excited to be with him for the next seven and hopefully more years. so it's a great question. I guess we'll find out after today."

"well, you got to play with auston matthews, a great american center. and obviously now, jack. what are some of the things that maybe you didn't realize about how good he was at certain abilities in his game from playing against him compared to playing with him?"

"that's a good question. it's tough. it's a little different in a way, because I got to see jack quite a bit at the start of our careers, of him being in buffalo. and then [with] him coming over to the west, a couple of injuries that happened, I didn't get to see him as much. but just his speed, up close and personal, his ability just to hold on to that puck in corners and kind of shake and bake off people and make plays out of that, so. for me, it's just going to be trying to find him in great areas that he can- you know, I know he's got a great shot as well, work on that and get that off. and for me, it's also finding myself in great areas to, you know, get my shot on and off too, to help us both out."

"gretz, quickly, any advice? you went from edmonton to la. he goes from toronto to here. like sunscreen advice, gretz?"

"no, I think he said it best. when you're driving to the rink, you can't believe how beautiful it is. you're just looking around. I remember february driving with my top down thinking, 'I'm going to an nhl hockey game. this is incredible.'"

"listen, mitch, we're really happy for you. thanks so much for joining us. and good luck, man."

"good luck to you, man. yes sir."

"appreciate it. thank you. thank you."

[austronauts]

now why is he sitting like that with his knees all tucked in

[idontlikeem]

howling at the moon bye