Okay so I’m starting this journey, getting ready to start living on the road, focusing on certain projects/ideas that I want to make into a business in a sense and I wanted to document (blog wise and vlog wise) the whole experience because I know it’s gonna be a hell of a ride, ups and downs and probably things I haven’t even thought of happening will probably happen. Right now I’m excited, nervous, antsy, anxious and so many other things but overall I’m just so ready to make the plunge. I don’t have everything together I will admit and for my family and friends I know they are skeptical and worried for me and I won’t lie I am a little curious as to what is ahead especially because it would be so much easier to wait until I had everything I needed as far as financial wise but I feel that if I keep waiting until I have every single duck in a row or until I “know” everything is taken care of then it’ll be a very long waiting process and I’m tired of waiting to be honest. It could be a risky thing I am aware of that but I feel, we as humans are super cautious and want to have “everything together” that we often delay ourselves and sometimes never even end up doing what we say we want because of aspects we think we can control or get together completely, especially financial wise and I don’t want to be in the same place I was last year as I am now technically. I keep saying I want to make a change and do something different and one thing I’ve learned these past couple months especially, is that unless I am out my “comfort zone” I will never make the progress I truly want and I don’t know if anyone can relate to that but I’ve seen that I’ll make plans and have these dreams/goals or things I want and very rarely will they all come through, maybe a good 20-30% if I’m being honest and it won’t be the BIG changes I want.
I’ve begun to think as to why they weren’t happening or what factors were preventing them and I’ve noticed one to be that when I’m in my comfort zone completely, not really being pushed or pressed in any direction at all it’s so easy to just stay in one place, just to keep doing the same thing over and over, like a continuous cycle, even though I say, possibly even the same amount that I do the same repetitive things, that I desire something different/more. I realized that when there’s nothing actually pushing me towards where I wanna go it’s hard to actually get the ball rolling sometimes on your own especially if you’ve been in a routine of some sorts for so long and I want to get out of this cycle of comfort/habitual comfort. I’ve had this relationship with comfort and viewed it for the most part as a good thing, a really good thing because who doesn’t want to be comfortable? To feel comfortable? It feels..safe I guess I would call it but with these new desires and passions that I’ve been developing and have been growing I’ve noticed the comfort become somewhat of a hindrance at times. It’s so easy to shrug something off or put something off because of habit and comfort whether that be the actual feeling of comfort or the possible stresses that can come from leaving routine/habit and trying something new. But later I’ve noticed from doing that I’ll feel the uneasiness and a total different kind of stress . A stress of putting off something that I want/needs to be done if I truly want it. A stress of wishing I had done it before. A stress of knowing now that I could’ve been had the ball rolling by now if I hadn’t put it off. So many kinds of stresses and frustrations come just from the awareness that you could’ve made a change, you knew what you wanted/what steps you needed/could’ve took to get it started, whether small or big. I began to realize that with both sides; choosing to stay in the comfort all the time or to leave the habitual comfort for something else/more, each has its own “stresses” in a way. One is a potential stress of uncertainty of the unknown and having to possibly learn something entirely new at times and the other I would say is the stress of the awareness of knowing what you wanted and not making it happen for yourself. That you, yourself put it off or believing that they are “reasons” as to why you have to wait or can’t, but the stress is the awareness of it all I feel. When you don’t know or say you don’t know then at least it gives the room of still finding out. When you say you know what you want, when you have a dream or desire or goal in mind it’s harder I feel to tell yourself there was nothing at all you could do and fully believe it, no way around that part because you have the awareness, you know now what you want and you know where you want to be and subtly I feel you know you were capable of some type of steps to reach what you say you wanted whether small steps or a large plummet but sometimes it hard to leave comfort and habit, it can be very hard at times, I know from experience. That has been my struggle going on a little over a year. I got in a place of comfort which then turned into habitual comfort and thus a cycle started I was unaware of and it became hard to leave because of the unawareness I had of the habitual comfort state that I was in. Nevertheless the stresses and frustrations still came even in that “comfortable” state especially as I slowly began to desire and want other things for myself but was confused as to why I was having such a hard time getting where I wanted. Now I’ve come to feel as though that there comes a point where you, for yourself, must decide for your sanity alone what’s worth it to you. Your habitual comfort or your dream, your desire, your goal. I feel only you can make that decision of what is truly worth it, what’s truly for you, and whatever you decide is okay and you should accept wholeheartedly because that was your choice and you always have the chance, more importantly the choice once again to change it at anytime if you’d like. Right now I feel that I want to chose to push my comfort zone. I want to see my “limits” in a sense. In a lot of ways; physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. I wanna see what I can get through, what I can handle in rough times, where I truly draw the line for myself not because of habitual comfort or what others and even sometimes myself will say is not normal but because I went through things that I may not on an “ordinary, normal” day would have wanted and I got to learn something out of it and see what path I want for myself from there, whether that be that I can triumph and handle more than I thought or that I don’t want to go through that experience a make a way to not have to. I don’t want to write something off as I can’t do it or that it’s not for me because it’s not the “normal way” or the “right way” or etc. I want to truly know from my own experience and I know not everyone wants to do exactly as I want or is there (state of mind wise) to do that and that’s fine because everyone walks their own path and their own pace and I can only attest to what I feel I need to do but I want to really press myself and I want to document and share it for myself so I can see my journey in it’s entirety, to be able to look back and see what “mistakes” I made and how to grow/learn from it and what amazing choices I feel I’ve made that I want to continue and grow upon them as well. So this is kinda the start of writing for my records and I want anyone who is wanting to make change or try something new or has some stuff they want to figure out for themselves to feel free to start to document your journey along with me. It’s so easy to feel like you’re in a rut and most of the time when you’re in that spot you feel alone or as if you don’t have any support so I want to try to make a place where people can truly express their feelings, thoughts, triumphs or setbacks freely without the worry of having judgement and no support of the basic understanding that we are all human and we are all growing and learning in our own way. To be able to get the encouragement and motivation they feel they need and not like they’re on trail or competing with others. So this is the project, Skip The Scene, to build a community of pure support and awareness while we all find our way, our path, no matter how many potential twist and turns we take as individuals or as a whole, because it’s all about the journey, it’s all about the effort and intent overall I feel and it’s so easy to forget that in day to day life sometimes when you want to see the immediate progress, or don’t know what’s “off” so to have a place to come and freely express with the intent to develop and grow on the rough days and good ones and to have the option to reach out and have support and people to talk to if you want I feel is a needed thing in everyone’s life.We are not alone on this planet and you shouldn’t have to feel like it. So I’m currently in the process of getting a website up and running and I will be going into more detail upon the whole project, trying to expand it for the better as the days go on and I hope anyone that needs a little support or even a place just to document freely will give it a try because I feel everyone has the right to walk their own path no matter how different it is from others. Everyone deserves the right to figure out their path with no pressure from others telling them what their path is. So to start if you want to join the journey you can start by just tagging your post with ‘sts’, ‘skipthescene’ and I will be checking it daily and as soon as the website is up and running I will have a link available! The website will for starters be a more intimate and easier way to connect, share, and meet others solely for the Skip The Scene project, if wanted. Thanks so much for reading, especially if you read all of it! Hope everyone has a great day and you’re more than welcome to message me about the project and anything else!