pewds plays resident evil 7 ( sentence starters)
“ ooh, it’s been a while since we’ve done one of these.”
“ sort of went down hill for a while, didn’t it?”
“ where did it all go wrong?”
“ i don’t know why i’m talking like i have something stuck up my ass.”
“ i am genuinely passionate about these things.”
“ hey, sometimes you gotta live hard, and… this doesn’t seem like one of those moments, actually.”
“ oh my god, it IS a nightmare!”
“ oh, dude, what the fuck?”
“ i’m trying really hard not to hype myself up for this.”
“ holy shit! that looks incredible.”
“ i’m just gonna go and guess - make a wild guess; s/he’s fucking dead.”
“ uh-uh. they’re always dead. horror rule number 45.”
“ now you can’t bitch about me talking too much.”
“ i like the car, very nice car.”
“ talking a lot, i’m getting a little nervous, i don’t know why.”
“ it’s fucking broad daylight. it’s just, woods fucking scare me… and mosquitoes.”
“ this is so fucking cool.”
“ okay, well, that’s not gonna work, is it? i suppose we can climb over.”
“ i don’t know why i always try the same things. i think i have a problem.”
“ okay, what would i do in this situation? i mean, i wouldn’t be in this situation because i’m a puss.”
“ we can’t enter the bushes.”
“ no this is where we came from. great, you’re a fucking genius.”
“ join us? no thank you, paper, but i appreciate the invite.”
“ bald man turn into a dead cow. what a mystery!”
“ oh, wow, now i see what it is.”
“ thank you for the gift, honey, oh my god, it’s so pretty.”
“ you know, when you see something like that, that’s generally like a good way to be like: you know what? is this bitch worth it?”
“ it’s all jokes. everyone calm down.”
“ yep, that’s me, all right.”
“ and we enter the point of no return.”
“ hey, we did it! high-five, bro.”
“ wow, haven’t you missed these moments?”
“ who closed the fucking door?”
“ that- that is another big warning sign.”
“ just so i feel safe, i’m gonna check if i can open it.”
“ all right, we can do this.”
“ okay, it’s fine. you know what? i’ve been in here before.”
“ it shouldn’t be any problem.”
“ hey! microwaved… crows… my favorite. they taste… crunchy.”
“ why do i bother j– ueegh! ugh! ugh, close it! close it! ugh, disgusting!”
“ is there someone upstairs?”
“ i don’t like how defenseless i am.”
“ that’s some creepy fucking picture.”
“ what the fuck was that?”
“ i think we’re gonna have to go upstairs.”
“ i really didn’t wanna go upstairs, cause in every fucking horror movie ever, they die when they go upstairs.”
“ now, i’m not keen on dying, all right. not today at least.”
“ fuck, the shadow fucking scared me.”
“ jesus christ, i don’t like this.”
“ so you can make the stairs go upstairs? wow. that’s, uh… that’s a new one.”
“ this wasn’t here before, was it? … or was it? i don’t know.”
“ dude, i can fucking hear you.”
“ aw, dude, the food looks delicious.”
“ okay, sorry. my curiosity got the better of me.”
“ yeah, so don’t go in there.”
“ all right, you go first, my man.”
“ hey, good friend, you go first.”
“ your mom’s down here. that’s why it smells.”
“ and that’s my queue to get the fuck out. how about that?”
“ oh, i don’t like where this is going, not one fucking bit, i’m gonna be quite honest with you right now.”
“ ain’t no water killed anyone. unless lack of water counts.”
“ sorry, i’m on fucking edge.”
“ the faster we can get out of here, the faster i can go home.”
“ everything is fucking fine. AAH! jesus, we’re not fine!”
“ there’s no reason to be upset.”
“ i am a little bit upset.”
“ oh my god… oh my god, this is bad. this is very not good.”
“ okay, well, maybe that’s a good thing, i don’t know.”
“ i suppose we could technically go back, but…”
“ i don’t - i don’t feel very good.”
“ i would hang onto those bolt cutters if i were you.”
“ do not fucking jumpscare me, i swear to god…”
“ just- let’s go. let’s just go. we can catch up later..”
“ i guess– you know what? i said s/he would be dead, and i was wrong. and you know what? i want to apologize.”
“ hey, hey, hey, cables. not cables. anything but cables.”
“ why are y–? oh, god, what is that? what are those? they don’t look good.”
“ it’s a trap. it’s a trap!”
“ hey, look, my face is back. how about that?”
“ i don’t know what happened.”
“ you know when it’s tight corners, shit’s about to get fucked.”
“ let me guess, it’s locked, isn’t it? do you have the key?”
“ i don’t like this enthusiasm.”
“ hey, creepy dolls. A+, that’s just what i wanted right now.”
“ sorry, i’d rather play with dolls. i’m sorry, okay, i’m not afraid to admit that”
“ we’re fine, everything is great. this is great.”
“ what the fuck happened to the weather? i swear it was sunny a second ago.”
“ okay, we’re starting to get health, which is not good, because that means we’re gonna get attacked.”
“ we can’t jump out the window.”
“ who the fuck did that?”
“ what do i do? i don’t wanna go down there.”
“ i don’t have anything to defend myself with.”
“ i’m not ready for this.”
“ oh, shit, s/he’s strong as shit!”
“ the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“ you crazy son of a bitch!”
“ can you just fuck off, man… fuck off.”
“ we can punish you other ways.”
“ can i slit her/his throat?”
“ i’m sorry, but where is the knife? i need to confirm the kill.”
“ i can’t fucking handle this.”
“ stop. just stop. just stop– oh no…”
“ get the fuck outta my way, you fucking bitch!”
“ that’s fucking right. survival of the fittest, motherfucker.”
“ i better get that phone call.”
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