Hey gals, gays and pals. Today we're going a bit off-topic, as in I am not going to talk about my WIPs or anything writing-related. I just wanted to open up a bit about myself. Plus, it's been a while I havent posted.
How my anxiety manifest itself
Most people will experience anxiety through stuff like thoughts racing, being hyper self aware, etc. For some reasons, it's not my case. I'm not diagnosed with severe anxiety but I do know there is definitely something wrong with me. So, this is how I tend to get anxious;
1. I refuse to sleep at night. I tend to get very obsessed with my thoughts at night, and I have a hard time falling asleep, so being left alone to my mind is really not something I like. When I'm in anxious periods, I'll spend an unhealthy amount of time on my phone at night, even on school nights.
2. I get shaky and fidgety. When I get anxious, I often move my body as if I were in one of those old chairs every grandma has. I start to play with anything that's the closest to me, most of time pens and clothes' hem. I also crack my fingers more than usual.
3. I shutdown. I don't just stop talking, my brain somewhat stops functioning and I get on autopilot mode. I hardly react when people try to talk to me, even teachers. I hear them, I'm just unable to react nor respond. It's even visible in my body language, I think.
4. I avoid eye contact. I don't even like eye contact to begin with, but I'm forced to do it, so yeah. However when I'm anxious, I literally cannot look at anywhere else than my feet/thighs depending if I'm standing or sitting.
5. I forget things. If it's an anxious period that last more than a day, I will automatically forget things, what people tell me, what I do or eat, etc. I just can't help it.
6. Music makes me tear up/cry. This one is stupid and weird, but it's the case. Some songs make me uncontrollably emotional when I'm anxious.
Not everyone experience anxiety the same way. Please understand that.
janainaart
annaxmalina
baratheonpilled
kianamaiart
blakekathryn
snowghoul