Skylar Devereux

Degenerates RPG

[skylar-devereux]

Damn Kid

Hospitals. Not my thing at all. I hate everything about hospitals. The people, the staff, the smell. Everything. I don’t go to hospitals unless I’m forced. And yet, I found myself visiting the hospital a little too often lately. Ever since the damn child got admitted and has been in a coma, I find myself here multiple times a week. Sometimes with Eight, other times alone. This time happened to be one of those times I came alone. There was about an hour left before visiting hours would be done for the day and I told myself I wasn’t going to come back by myself anymore and yet here I was. Strolling on into the damn hospital carrying a small plant I had chosen to put in his room. Walking in, the nurse was there checking on him but she was leaving as I was entering. Thank fuck. A simple nod and I slipped into the room, shutting the blinds before setting the plant down on the little table next to the bed. Making sure no one else was going to be coming into the room, I made my way over to the bed and took a seat next to it, looking over the tiny body that was laying there, attached to every machine possible to keep him alive. I’ve done horrible and ruthless things to people without a second thought, but seeing the kid like this was just one thing I couldn’t stand seeing. Pushing a strand of hair from my face and taking a deep breath, I glance around once more towards the door just to make sure I wouldn’t be disturbed before inching closer to the bed, brushing some of the kids hair back out of his eyes. He’d definitely need a haircut when he wakes up. “Hey kid. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing my voice by now but I’m sure you’re sick of being hooked up to these shitty machines also. So… there are worse things than just listening to me blabber on I guess. If you can even hear me, that is…” Taking a breath, I look towards the door again and then back at the kid. “I know this isn’t the greatest place to be… If I had it my way you’d be hooked up at my house but the hospital wouldn’t allow that so… yeah…” Silence fell in the room. The only thing I could really hear was the machines in the room and his breathing. At least he was breathing. “When you wake up, we’ll do whatever you want. I bet we can make one really big pizza, and I can get all the ice cream you could want too. And I know Indi is probably missing her friend…” I look at the small figure laying on the bed, looking for any sign of movement or him waking up. Anything. But there was nothing. Just the same as it was a few minutes ago. Why wasn’t he waking up? Another sigh escaped my lips, pushing my hair back behind my shoulder. “I’m sorry, kid. I truly am. I should’ve told that dumbass he couldn’t host his little band at the tavern. If I told him no then you wouldn’t have been there and the shooting wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t have fallen and hit your head… You’d still be running around Eight’s house… you’d be running all over my house looking at all of the weird things I have. Eating pizza. Asking about Indi. Doing all of the things you love and because I agreed, you’re laying in this bed in this hell hole. I’m sorry Kai Kai.” Reaching over, I brush more of his curls out of his face and take a deep breath, shaking my head to compose myself. “Well then… they’re going to be kicking me out so I’m going to go home before they do that… Eight and I will be here tomorrow. So please wake up. For him.” Watching him a bit longer, I let out a sigh before standing and gathering my things, making sure he’s covered and comfortable before turning on my heel and leaving without another word.

[skylar-devereux]

Memories

"You know,"

Opening her eyes, Skylar glanced around the concrete room that she had been residing in for satan knows how long. It had to have been months… years even… the only way she was able to tell any sort of time was when the seasons changed because the temperature in the room would change along with it. Day and night became a blur except for when the door was opened to give her food, water, or blankets and she could catch the brief glimpse of sun or moonlight that entered the room when the door opened. That was the only time she got to have any human interaction as well. At some point she stopped screaming and fighting to get out and just… sat there. Her mind left to wander about if this is what it was like for the others that her father had locked up for whatever reason. The rule breakers, the attempted escapes, attempted mutinies. She had always wondered what happened to those people.

Never did she think she'd be one of them.  

There were days she wished for death. There wasn't any way for her to harm herself within her little cell though. She had contemplated multiple things, one of them being bashing her head off the wall and just bleeding out. But she was afraid she'd chicken out and her father would do worse to her. But then again, she couldn't remember the last time she actually saw her father. Hell, she wasn't even entirely sure if he had came to see her since locking her away. The bastard probably just locked her up and said "What daughter?" And left it at that. The one thing that kept her somewhat sane was whatever was going on in her head. She could hear voices no one else was able to hear, and she'd go through episodes where she wasn't quite herself. But no one seemed to pay her any mind.

Something finally snapped in her brain though. Something that told her today was the day she was going to do it. She had managed to break off pieces of her bed frame and was going to use those to stab herself. Hopefully she'd bleed out before the guards would come to feed her. It took a while, but she had finally convinced herself to do it. At this point, death would be better than continuing to be stuck in this prison. After all, one of the biggest rules of the cult was:

The only way out is death.

Leaning against the wall, she stared at the door trying to listen to make sure no one was coming. But the only things she could hear were screams, pleas, and groans from others that were stuck there with her as well. Death was definitely better than having to listen to that any longer. Looking down in her hand, she fiddled with the rusted metal piece of the bed she had managed to break off, tapping it against her hand. Taking a breath, she positioned the metal at the spot where she thought would make her bleed out more quickly, but before she could do anything, she wakes up.

 "...I didn't know this was typical behavior of peoples parents..."

Her eyes shot open as she woke up, sitting up in her bed panting hard. She looked around her bedroom to make sure that it had just been a dream before looking at her phone to see what time it was, only to see 2:38 A.M. flashing across her phone screen. Great. Asleep for only 30 minutes. Since that night at the cemetery and he spoke those words without knowing how she'd react to it, she hadn't been getting much sleep. An hour maybe at most each night. Sometimes less. The memories haunting her each time she laid down to get any sort of rest. It was making her more irritable than usual which was causing her to drink more than she usually did. It was driving her insane. More than she already was. But he didn't know. No one knows. There are just some things that people do not need to know. 

[sillydodobird]

[skylar-devereux]

AC 017

Pt. 1

What was supposed to be a normal morning turned into a morning out of a nightmare. Waking up seemed normal, except for the fact that I didn’t recognize where I was. Typically this only happened during my little blackouts, but I didn’t drink last night and I didn’t get high and don’t remember having one of my little episodes. I definitely don’t remember meeting or going home with anyone last night. I hadn’t seen the bedroom before and nothing looked familiar to me. Even though I know I didn’t drink or get high, my head was pounding. Luckily enough, someone had left ibuprofen on the nightstand. “Thank fuck.” Grabbing the bottle, I opened it and grabbed two pills out of it before downing them and putting the bottle back with a groan. 

I sat up in the bed to get a better look at everything to try and see if anything looked familiar at all. The first thing I thought of was to look for my phone. Hopefully if I could find my phone then there might be something on it that would help my memory just a bit. Scanning the bed, I moved my hands under the pillow only to find a photograph. Pulling it out, it was a woman I didn’t know. Strangely enough, the woman looked eerily similar to Mickey.

Oh fuck.

Scrambling up from the bed, I went to go look out the window to only confirm where I was when I noticed that the tattoos on my legs weren’t on my legs. Staring at them, I started to rub my legs to check if makeup had been covering up the tattoos only for my legs to get red from how hard I had been rubbing them. “What the fuck?”  Looking from my legs to my arm and my sternum, my tattoos were missing there as well. What the hell was going on? I looked around the room more and then peaked outside from the window, confirming that I was in the South Side. One mystery solved.  The next would have to be what the hell happened to my tattoos. Stumbling out of the bedroom and managed to somehow find my way to the bathroom. Maybe this was just a dream?

Once in the bathroom, I immediately turned on the sink and splashed my face with water. Taking a breath, I turned the water off and grabbed a nearby towel, drying off my face. Looking up into the mirror, I froze when I saw Mickey’s face instead of my face staring back at me. Letting out a scream, I stumbled back into the wall and reached up to touch my face to make sure it was me and not some kind of trick. 

“What the fuck is going on?!”

————————————————————————————

Pt. 2

This couldn’t be happening. This had to be some kind of dream. Any moment now, I was going to wake up back in my bedroom in Morana Heights and everything would be back to normal, right? No matter how hard I slapped or pinched myself, I couldn’t seem to wake up from this nightmare. The image in the mirror staring back at me was definitely Mickey and not myself. There were no tattoos, blonde hair instead of brown, noticeably dark circles under my eyes. Looking down, just to double check to make sure there absolutely were no tattoos, I noticed the mix matched socks. Really, Mick? Rolling my eyes, I looked around the bathroom and made a face. “She doesn’t really keep anything clean does she?” Rolling my eyes, I made my way out of the bathroom to further inspect Mickey’s apartment. 

If I was in her body, then I could only hope that she was in mine. That’s how Freaky Friday worked, right?

Looking around, the rest of the apartment didn’t really seem like anything special. In fact, it looked exactly like how a South Side apartment would look. Mickey didn’t really seem to tidy up all that much and I didn’t really plan on being her little house maid while being stuck in her body. Making another face, I decided to head back to the bathroom and get ready for whatever day was going to happen and try to find my body so I could see if Mickey was in it or not. 

After a shower that took longer than it should have due to the water pressure being shit and the temperature constantly changing, I made my way back to Mickey’s room and got dressed. I arched my eyebrow looking at the various clothing and quickly got dressed, deciding to throw on one blue sock and one pink sock, trying to at least seem like Mickey with her mixed match socks if I was going to be in her body, tossing on a pair of boots after. Once I was ready, I grabbed my phone and keys and left the apartment, going out into the South Side.

Wandering the streets of South Side was more challenging than I thought it would be. I very rarely went into South Side, so I had absolutely no clue as to where anything was or where the fuck I was even going. Luckily enough, Mickey must’ve been known to just kinda wander the streets because no one really paid attention to me unless it was someone I assume Mickey knew because they’d say hi while passing by. Stopping on the sidewalk, I looked around and tried to think of where to go when the text from Hexley appeared on the screen asking her about where she was for her shift. Oh fuck. First I have to deal with South Side and now I have to figure out how to get out of South Side and make my way to my job that I know nothing about? Great. 

————————————————————————————

Pt. 3

Trying to work at Inhale without raising suspicion was more challenging than it seemed. I had to actually try and be Mickey and act like Mickey and that alone was a struggle. It’s one thing to watch how a person acts and observe them but it’s another to actually be them. No amount of watching and observing could’ve prepared me for this. Then again, this was just shit that happened in movies so why the actual fuck would I have ever thought that I would’ve needed to prepare myself for this? Luckily, I was able to just barely get by and managed to finish the shift without really raising any suspicion. Then again, what if Hexley wasn’t actually Hexley? Was I the only one who wasn’t in their correct body?

Leaving Inhale, I found myself needing more than alcohol to take the edge off of what had been a way too long day.  The only thing I could even think of doing was going back to South Side and trying to get my hands on whatever drug I could. Is this what living in Mickey’s brain was like? God there was nothing more than I wanted than to be back in my body already. Making my way back to South Side, I stopped at dive bar just to get a drink and hope that would stop the craving I had. 

Walking inside, I glanced around and then made my way up to the bar and plopped down onto one of the barstools and ordered a drink. Once the drink was down in front of me, I took a long much needed sip and then let out a sigh. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like a drink was going to stop the drug craving. Grumbling, I rubbed my head and went to take another sip of my drink when someone sat down beside me and began talking to me like he knew me. Then I remembered.

I was Mickey.

Looking over at the man, I glanced down under the bar to see him flashing a baggie of white powder before shoving his hand back into his pocket and motioning with his head for me to follow. Before I could even stop myself, I downed my drink and threw a couple of bills onto the bar before following the man outside and through the alleyway to the back of the bar. It was like my body had a mind of its own. The man pulled the baggie out and put a little on the back of his hand before snorting it up his nose. This was crazy. Was this something Mickey did regularly? As the man handed the bag over, I eagerly snatched the bag and repeated what the man did, dumping some of the powder onto the back of my hand and snorted it, taking a deep breath followed by a pleased sigh when it seemed that my body had finally gotten what it had been wanting. 

The little baggie didn’t last long between the two of us, and it wasn’t long before everything was blurred and nothing seemed normal anymore. I don’t remember the last time I felt like this, but it was definitely a feeling I had missed. Maybe being in Mickey’s body was a blessing in disguise. I managed to stumble out of the alley, completely high on whatever white substance was in that baggie that I hadn’t even bothered to ask about. Looking down at the ground, I spotted Mario. “Oh my god! You’re hereeeee!” Reaching down, I snatched up the animal that was Mario and held him close. “I didn’t even know you were out!” Laughing, I took Mario and somehow made my way back to the apartment and put Mario on the floor, plopping down on the couch after. “I’m… I’m… gonna have to tell Mickey I found Mario for her.”

[skylar-devereux]

AC 016

2012

Dark. Everything was... dark. I don't understand why this was happening, or how long I had been in this tiny room, but it was far too long. There were no windows, no lights, only a single metal door  that could only be opened from the outside. From what I could tell whenever they opened the door allowing what little light there was to come in, it was just concrete walls and flooring, a small bathroom space. And the single sheet they gave me to lay on barely did anything to help keep me warm and comfortable. It ws like a jail cell. At this point, I wasn't even sure if it was day or night. I could've been in this room for weeks or hell even months. And the longer I stayed in this room, the more... crowded... the room seemed to get. And yet I was the only one in the room.

The only time the door was open was when my father came in to check on me and occasionally give me food and water. But even then it was a rare occurrence. He said this was part of the initiation process, but I don't think I ever remember this being used for initiation and not some sort of punishment and usually when people entered, it was rare that they came back out alive. So why was my father doing this to me? Each time I cried and begged to be let out, it only made him angry which then only made my punishment worse.

2013

It has been... a while since my father locked me in this tiny room. I still don't know how long I have been, but I'm convinced that it's been at least a year. The room got colder than it had been, so it was safe to assume that the seasons had changed. The longer I stay in this room, the more I'm convinced that I wasn't getting out, and the less my father visited. I started to see less and less of him. But it was fine. I had new friends with me to keep me company. Only I could see and hear them, and they made the room more crowded, but at least I was no longer alone.

2014

I don't know how much time has passed. Everything blurred together and time was no longer a factor in anything. The voices got worse and worse to the point where them talking seemed normal. We'd come up with plans on how to escape, and sometimes I thought that the guards posted outside of my door could hear them too since each time a plan was made, it was ruined shortly after. I didn't understand how they knew, but they did. At this point I was extreamly convinced I was going to die in this shit box. I felt weak, barely able to keep myself up most of the time. I was going crazy and I know it. But then something happened.

I wasn't sure what was going on, but I could hear gunshots and screaming. It wasn't long after it all started that the door opened up, and I forced myself into one of the corners in the room, unsure of who was standing in the doorway. The light coming through was blinding, and what seemed to be thousands of brighter lights followed and eventually landed on me. I did my best to shield myself from the lights, the thin sheet barely doing anything to keep the light off of me. I could hear foot steps carefully approaching and the lights getting brighter the closer they got.

"There’s one over here! I think she might just be a victim though."

I could hear one of them speak up before she pulled the sheet down off of my head.

"It's okay. We're going to get you out of here."

I didn't know who these people were or if they were actually there to help, but I wasn't taking any chances. The moment I saw my chance to get out, I ran. Unfortunately, I didn't make it too far due to how weak I was before collapsing on the ground. The people that were in the room picked me up and carried me to a car where there were flashing lights. I was hooked up to a bunch of things and restrained so I couldn't run again. After that, I was taken for psych evaluation and locked in yet another room that was a bit more comfortable than the last, but it didn't help much with the trauma from the last room that I lived in for two years. To this day, I have a fear of the dark and tight spaces. I still don't know why my father put me through all that, but all I know is that I don't ever want to relive it.

[skylar-devereux]

AC 015

I should've known better. None of these little parties ever end good. So I should've known to just stay home. I should've left Ivy at home. Ivy shouldn't have been there. That is probably one of my biggest regrets about that entire party, but Ivy wanted to come and Flynn was hosting the party, so I figured it was probably going to be one of the least problematic parties to bring her to. Fireworks and then go home. That was the plan towards the end of the night. I didn't want to stay there any longer than I needed to. I showed up, that's what was important, right? But then Daeva's voice came over the speaker. I swear my heart stopped the same time the lifts did. Surely they wouldn't leave the lifts off all night, right?

Wrong.

Again, I was horribly, horribly wrong.

The drinks were spiked, everyone but the kids passed out. I don't know what we drank but I'm just glad Ivy didn't have any of it. Unfortunately, we were still on the lifts, the drop to the ground was a long one, and I was stuck on a lift with a couple of people I did not like. My main focus was Ivy, it's always Ivy. Even though she had on a jacket and clothes much warmer than my own, I needed to get her out of there. So when Ace jumped, I made the hard decision to drop Ivy down to him. Thankfully, he caught her. But my mind couldn't help but worry if both of them were going to be okay on the ground. Especially after seeing the wolves.

Finding the hut was probably the highlight of this entire situation, which isn't really saying much but hey its something. I was getting severe frost bite, it was getting harder and harder to move my hands and toes and everything just felt numb. Ivy seemed fine, hungry and cold but fine. My pills went MIA at some point, I'm sure one of these assholes stole them just to have something in their system but that wasn't going to end well for them anyway. Those kept me sane and I was already struggling to keep myself together since I hadn't been taking them like I should've been ever since I found out about the divorce.

At this point, I wasn't really sure how much longer I could hold on. I was kicking myself in the ass for not dressing warmer, I should've definitely worn something that wasn't a flannel and crop top. But how was I to know we'd be stuck in the cold? So many things were running through my head, and the voices weren't helping either. If I didn't make it, who would get Ivy? Teagan was supposed to take her if something ever happened to me... but she went MIA and hasn't been heard from... Next best bet would be Ace... right? He's been there since she was born. He's known her the longest. He'd have to be the one but... how do I tell him? He wasn't looking so great either, but he seemed to be better than I was. But a conversation like that seems like something that I'd do in private, and being stuck in a tiny hut like this surrounded by people that you couldn't really tell if they were sleeping or not didn't seem like an ideal situation to have a private conversation.

Then theres the issue of how to tell someone you've known for forever that you don't want to go on anymore. That the only thing really keeping you going is curled up in your lap sleeping but if you knew she'd be in good hands, you could just... give up. It seems a bit selfish, right? To give up and leave your child motherless. But I'd give my life if I knew she would be safe. I want nothing more than for Ivy to be anywhere but here. I cant protect her in my current state. Ace can. She'd be better off with him...

So...

Maybe I should just...

Give up...

[skylar-devereux]

the end.

Driving around South Side in the middle of the night was probably not the best idea for her to do, but she didn’t really care. South Side was like the Bronx, and if she could live there for 4 years then she was certain she could handle the South Side. The only reason she was there was so she could look for a secluded place to start a fire and not draw attention to it. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before Freya found an abandoned playground that looked like it hadn’t been used in years and if it had, then it was just for some kind of shady drug deal. This place would be perfect to use as a burning ground. Driving off, she made a pit stop at a convenient store and bought the necessary things to help start the fire, luckily she had bought matches at High Society just hours before hand. Once she had everything she needed, she got back into the truck and sent a quick text, asking someone to meet her at the park she had found. Sending the text, she pulled out of the parking lot and made her way back to the park.

Once she was at the park, instead of parking in the parking lot she pulled the truck through the grass into the middle of the field and parked it there. Getting out, she grabbed everything that she needed from the inside of the truck and got out, walking around the back to sit in the bed of the truck while she waited for her company to arrive. So many things had gone through her mind in that short period of time that she was alone. Hell, she had been forgetting to take her meds every other day so her mind being quiet was something that wasn’t happening. The fact that she had come so far in the past year just for it to be ruined within a matter of seconds. The emails and then the text just confirming everything didn’t help. She was spiraling and she knew that, but she had to at least appear normal and fine, like nothing was bothering her. When she was alone, the walls came down. But the second that anyone, even Ivy, was near her the walls went up and the “I’m fine.” façade began. 

The only thing that broke her from her thoughts was the body appearing next to her suddenly. She just smiled at him, trying her best to push the thoughts away so she could focus on what was going on around her. “I got s’mores, joints, blankets for us to sit on... I just needed a chill night with everything going on...” She sighed and handed the bag to the male as she started to get up out of the truck. “What are we burning?”. Ah, the question she was waiting for. She looked over at him and grinned before patting the truck. “You’re looking at it! Nice big fire that’ll keep us nice and cozy!” She laughed. “He doesn’t need a truck if he’s in jail, right?” She grinned and pulled out the lighter fluid, dumping it all over the truck and the inside of it and the ground around it, wanting to make sure it would burn. 

Once the lighter fluid was gone, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out the box of matches, grabbing one out of the box and lighting it. She watched the flame dance on the match for a moment before tossing the match onto the truck, and then a couple more after it just to make sure that it would catch. Watching as the truck quickly caught on fire, she stood there until she felt arms wrap around her and pull her back at a more safer distance so she could watch as the truck burned. Her eyes didn’t leave the flames, watching them dance around the truck and the ground around it. It wasn’t until she heard the voice behind her that she realized she had spaced out for a moment. “Tell me how you feel, right now, in this moment. Free?” 

She just stood there staring at the truck that was now engulfed in flames.  “I...” she paused for a moment, standing in silence. After a moment she looked down at her hand where her wedding ring sat and stared at it for a while before pulling it off of her finger and tossing it into the flames to burn with the truck. Once it was out of sight, she finally took a breath after realizing she hadn’t been breathing for that time and nodded her head. “Free... I feel free...”

[skylar-devereux]

AC 013

After the wedding and the raid that landed Giorgina in jail, I immediately began looking for houses for anywhere but New York. I had been in New York my entire life, and after having to deal with Giorgina and Macheta the second I saw the opening to leave, I took it. It took a couple of weeks and a few little trips to a couple other states, but the trip to Morana, Colorado was all I needed to know thats where I wanted to move. Everything seemed perfect. It was far away from New York and the people in it, the house was gorgeous, we were able to relocate the bars. We could start a brand new life and not have to look over our shoulders. What more could we possibly want?

We were out of New York and completely moved into our new home in a few short weeks. And a few months after that I was able to reopen Noir at a brand new location downtown. We got Ivy into Kindergarten which she seems to love and Gavin even found his own thing. I even managed to finally open up a small little lingerie boutique on the second floor of Noir just a month ago. We were settling into our new lives here and it was great. Teagan and I kept in touch for a little while but eventually it seemed that we just kind of drifted apart temporarily. Being in Morana was great, but the one thing that New York had that it didn't was all my friends. Gavin would leave every so often to go see Luna in Italy and even though Ivy and I went with him sometimes, it still got lonely. But I guess I should've been more careful about what I wished for.

When Teagan came bursting into Noir that day, I was happy to see a familiar face. I wasn't expecting practically everyone else to follow her though. There were some people I was happy to see, others not so much. This group always had trouble following it, so the fact that literally everyone from New York was here seemed entirely too suspicious. Even with all these people here, I'm still lonely. And of course shortly after their arrival, Gavin got arested and sent back to New York. No bail was posted, there was nothing I could do. I fly out to New York once a week to see Gavin and get phone calls with him, but thats it.

I shouldn't have even been surprised when two masked figures appeared at Inhale that day. I should've known better than to think all of this was going to stop when Giorgina got arrested. And now Macheta had a new partner, one that seems more ruthless and not afraid to get her hands dirty. I think I'd rather have Giorgina to deal with than these two fucks. And now at this point, I don't know if we'll ever be able to escape these fuckers. 

[skylar-devereux]

--not so new beginnings

This past year has been... different to say the least. After the wedding and after Gavin was released from the hospital for ODing, we decided that instead of a honeymoon we'd pack up and move the hell out of New York. We had been wanting to leave, but with Giorgina it was impossible. So we took a few weeks to find a place and after traveling to Colorado and finding the perfect house, we packed up everything and moved to Morana Heights, Colorado. It was perfect. No one from New York would be there and no one would be able to find them. They could be a family and not have to worry about some psycho trying to kill them.

Even after the wedding though, Gavin still every few months would leave for a week or so to go to Italy. It got lonely. There was no one there besides Ivy and myself. Teagan was off traveling around with Xander and we barely spoke. Didn't really want to talk to Hexley or Gael but there were points where I almost did try searching for them just to talk to someone. It got really lonely. Hell, it's still lonely most of the time. I couldn't call Cas like I used to, I couldn't even go visit his grave now. So for the first time ever, it was literally just me and Ivy and I didn't know how to handle it.

When Teagan came bursting through the doors of Noir the other night, I almost wanted to cry. Gavin was gone yet again so seeing her face in front of me was bittersweet. And then Hexley followed. And then Mal and Flynn. People I thought I would never see again were suddenly in Noir like we were back in New York. I could've lived with it just being Teagan. Teagan came with Xander and those two were practically family so at least I would've had them. And even though I despise most of the people from the New York group...

I'm kind of happy they all wound up here.

[skylar-devereux]

AC 011

1) Have Ivy start kindergarten 

2) Start a Noir lingerie line

3) Once we find Luna, I’d like for her and Ivy to spend more time together before she goes back to Italy.

4) Start a family with Gavin

5) Get married

6) Go on vacation far the fuck away from New York  

[skylar-devereux]

ac 010

I was never a really big fan of Christmas. Sure, maybe as a child because who doesn’t love waking up on Christmas morning to a bunch of gifts under a tree and getting everything you could’ve possibly asked for? But as I got older, all of the gifts became meaningless and started to become more of a “just shut up and leave us alone” kind of deal so I would stay out of my parents hair. And maybe thats when Christmas started becoming just another day for me. It’s really hard to tell with my mindset. I’ve managed to block out a good portion of my childhood and everything that had happened up until my parents death. So the holidays are just pointless to me.

Even after I found Cas, neither one of us really celebrated the holidays. We didn’t decorate or get into the holiday spirit. Neither one of us enjoyed it, especially Cas who had more of a reason to hate it than I did since he never really had a family to celebrate it anyway. The only thing we did was get each other one gift, and even then it was more of just us buying whatever and handing it to each other unwrapped and with the price tag still on it. It wasn’t until Ivy was born that we even started doing anything for Christmas.

December 20th. Thats the day that everything changed. She may have only been four days old at the time, but Ivy being born was probably one of the best things that could’ve happened during the holidays. Her first Christmas with us wasn’t all that great since she couldn’t really open any gifts or anything, but none the less we still celebrated it with her. The year after was better. Ivy was one and we did everything we possibly could do together with her. She was the only thing that got us to celebrate Christmas. Just seeing the look on her face throughout the years to the lights, the trees, gifts, everything. That little girl being born was a blessing in disguise. 

After everything that has happened, I never expected I would be a mother. I was convinced I just couldn’t have kids after what happened the first time. But Ivy being born and watching her grow and get her own little personality is by far one of the best gifts I could’ve asked for. Being woken up early on Christmas morning and getting dragged out of bed to watch her open up all her gifts gets better and better each year. She’s the one that made holidays more memorable for me and I wouldn’t change that for anything. 

[skylar-devereux]

christmas past

This year would be Ivy’s third Christmas, and each year with her seemed to be getting better and better now that she was able to understand everything more. Decorating seemed to be her favorite part next to making cookies with her uncle and getting gifts for both her birthday and Christmas. Freya never really enjoyed the holidays until Ivy was born, after that she had a reason to get excited about them. Cas, on the other hand, never seemed to get into the spirit. Who could blame him? He never had a family up until a few years ago so Freya never really blamed him for being a grump during the holidays but he could’ve still at least tried to enjoy it for Ivy’s sake.

Freya had just picked up a few more decorations and arrived home, instantly greeted by the toddler who came running to the door with a big smile. Freya put the bag down and scooped up her daughter, holding her close and kissing her cheek. “Hi princess.” She smiled and closed the door. “Where’s uncle Cas?” She arched her eyebrow, watching the girl point to the living room. “We watching Grinch!” The toddler beamed and giggled. “Ahh. Okay. Mommy brought home more decorations! We can have uncle Cas decorate with you!” She grinned and kissed the toddlers head once more before putting her down and watched her run away again. Grabbing the bag, she walked into the living room seeing her brother sitting on the couch with a disgusted look on his face. “I don’t see why you two get so excited about the holidays.” He groaned as Freya tossed the bag of decorations at him. “Just because you hate them, doesn’t mean we have to. Plus, its for Ivy. now stop complaining.” She rolled her eyes.

Cas groaned again and got up, starting to pull the decorations out of the bag. “Oh stop. When did you become such a Grinch? I thought you liked decorating with Ivy.” She walked into the kitchen and got Ivy juice, handing it to her before pouring a drink for her brother and going out to hand it to him. “You can at least pretend to enjoy it. You never know when a holiday is going to be your last so can you just try?“ She looked at him as he sighed. "Yeah. Yeah okay. I will try, but only for Ivy. Not because you asked me to.” He grabbed the drink from her and took a sip. Freya grinned. “Thank you. I knew you couldn’t say no.” She smiled innocently then turned to grab Ivy so they could decorate together.

[skylar-devereux]

memories

It had only been a few days since Freya and Ivy had moved back into Gavin's house, but it seemed like everthing had been getting back to normal. Slowly atleast. Everything was still a little tense, and everyone was still getting on Gavin about being a rapist. So Freya knew that moving back in with Gavin was going to cause even more shit but she really didn't care. She would deal with all the comments and hate that she was sure to get as it was thrown at her. Until then, she was going to try and enjoy her time with Gavin and Ivy. Especially Ivy with everything that has been going on with Macheta coming after her. She needed just one night where she could relax, and the person she felt safest with was Gavin.

Over the past few days, they slowly got back into their old routine. On top of that, they had to switch who had Ivy and when, just to make sure that Macheta didn't get his hands on her again. The constant stress of where he was and when he was going to strike again was starting to overwhelm Freya. She could feel herself slowly spiraling. Between that and the memories from her childhood flooding back to her, it was all getting to be too much. She was teetering on the edge of snapping, it was now just a waiting game as to when she would snap.

Walking into the living room from finishing up laundry, Freya glanced into the living room seeing Ivy on the couch watching Moana while Gavin was in the kitchen getting cerial for both him and Ivy. She had started to walk past the kitchen to head to the bedroom when she noticed Gavin pouring eggnog into one of the bowls. "Did... did you just pour eggnog into your cheerios?" She arched her eyebrow and stared at him while she awaited an answer. "Don't worry, I didn't put any in Ivy's." He gave her a grin before grabbing the bowls and heading into the living room, handing Ivy hers to eat. Freya just stood there and stared at him, trying to figure out how that could possibly taste good but didn't bother questioning it. Shaking her head, she turned on her heel and walked to the bedroom.

Everything seemed fine and that everything was back to normal, but for how long? Macheta was constantly watching everyone and it was only a matter of time before he somehow got to Ivy again. The one place she felt safe she also felt the most vunerable. How long was this going to go on for? And how much longer could she keep her secret about what happened in her past?

[skylar-devereux]

broken

Freya had received the text from Gavin telling her to come over without Ivy so they could talk. Of course she knew what that meant, a talk after being at each others throats for days was never good. So she braced herself for what was going to happen when she got over there. Part of her had been expecting him to actually just talk so they could work things out, despite the rumors going around. Truthfully, the rumors were getting to her more than she was letting on but for multiple reasons. Reasons that no one knew, not even Gavin. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if she ever wanted to tell Gavin. She had been able to push back the horrible memories but she wasn’t sure how much longer she could go without snapping. 

Just as she thought, when she arrived at Gavins all her thoughts came true. He wanted a break and for her and Ivy to move out. She knew she should’ve just said “okay we’re done” and left the house, but she couldn’t. Instead, she stood there and argued with him, telling him not to do it. Was it stupid of her? Yes. Did she care? No. She had fallen for the man and there was nothing that was going to change that. Ivy adored him and he was so good with her. That was part of what made her fall for him. So of course, the one thing to break her that night had involved Ivy. She went into the bedroom and rummaged around for the papers, coming back out with the folder. “These were adoption papers I was going to have you fill out.” She grabbed the lighter from the bag and stared at him. “Tell me you don’t want me, and you don’t want Ivy, and I’ll burn these right now...” She stared at him. The next words coming from his mouth hurting more than anything. “Freya..” He said softly before looking at the folder she had in her hand, his mouth opened and he stared blankly. “Burn them then..”

Freya stared at him, letting him know how serious she was about it. She held the folder in her hand, waiting for him to tell her not to do it, but that didn’t happen. She stared at him for a moment in complete shock when he told her to burn them. “Fuck you.” She lit the lighter and caught the folder on fire before tossing it into the sink so she wouldn’t burn herself. She was mad at herself for burning them, but she was trying to get him to break. When that didn’t happen, she just got more angry and more hurt. The arguing continued until he walked away. Nothing that she wanted to happen was happening. She could feel herself starting to loose it, he was completely breaking her. Without thinking, she grabbed her glass she had been drinking from and threw it at the wall next to the bedroom where he had been walking to and watched it shatter.

“You did not just throw that at me!”

Glass shattered, Freya stood there for a moment with tears streaming down her face as she dug through her bag to find the house keys. She could hear his voice after the glass broke, but she couldn’t hear what he had said. Once they were in her hand, she pulled them out and threw them at Gavin. She stared at him, completely broken now before turning and storming out of the house, slamming the door behind her. Of course, she couldn’t leave without breaking one more thing. She turned and grabbed a flower pot, tossing it at the front door watching it shatter. She stared at the broken pot now scattered in front of the door before turning and going back to her car. The one person she thought would never hurt her had. 

She sat in her car, trying to calm herself when she heard a tap on her window. Looking over, she was shocked to see it was Gavin. She wiped her eyes and rolled down the window, only to see that fucking grin of his.  “You wouldn’t of happen to have seen the person who did that mess did you.” He said sarcastically before chewing his bottom lip.” She rolled her eyes, looking at the flower pot. “Sorry...” She tried to pay for the broken item, but he didn’t take the money. He told her to come clean it once she had calmed down, but her being how she was got out of the car and went up to the front door, cleaning it up. Once she was finished she tossed out the broken pieces and walked back to the car and left. 

[skylar-devereux]

AC 008

001: Favorite Color?: Black & Red

002: Favorite Season?: Fall!

003: Favorite Drink?: Anything with vodka in it

004: Favorite Food?: Pizza and tacos of course

005: Favorite thing to do?: Spend time with Ivy

006: Introverted or Extroverted?: Extroverted

007: Any bad habits?: Used to be drugs, now alcohol has taken that over. 

008: How do you want to be seen by others?: I want to be seen as intimidating, as someone not to fuck with.

009: What are your phobias?: Dark, tight spaces. Anything happening to Ivy.

010: What is the worst thing that happened to you?: The moment my parents shipped me off to “boarding school.” The things that happened to me while I was in there were things I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy.

011: What is one of their favorite memories?: Giving birth to my daughter is probably my favorite memory.

012: If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?: I would love to go to the Maldives. Anywhere with a beach really. 

013: How do you express your emotions?: I... don’t really express my emotions all that much. Or I try not to. Showing emotions means showing weakness.

014: What words or phrase do you over use?: “Okay/Whatever/Sure (insert name here)”

015: Where do you see yourself a few years from now?: A few years from now, I would like to be married, maybe have a little baby boy. But who really knows what the future has in store for us. 

[skylar-devereux]

AC 007

The trip to the farmhouse was an absolute shit show. The first day there started with Daiza finding his brothers bones in his bed and ended, for her, with seeing Salem’s body strung up like a scarecrow. If she had found a way to leave that day, she would’ve left. The trip was already off to a bad start and she didn’t want to see what the next 6 days were going to bring. She tried to keep to herself and just spend most of her time with Gavin and Ivy, but also wanted to give the two of them space to spend time together. She had felt bad for Ivy since the first day. Ivy was asking for Caspian since they usually went to the pumpkin patch every fall, and it broke Freya’s heart. So she had Gavin take her to the pumpkin patch and try to distract her. It worked for the most part, but it still didn’t help the feeling that she felt awful about Ivy spending the holidays without her uncle. 

The days got worse and worse as the trip went on. Wednesday had to be the worst for Ivy. After begging and begging to go see the bunnies and other animals at the petting zoo, she had to leave to go with Gavin to the pumpkin patch after seeing all of the bunnies dead. That night she kept asking if they were okay, Freya had to continue to tell her that they were sleeping just like Uncle Cas was.  That was the best way she could get her to stop asking and explain things to her. And as if that wasn’t enough, Wednesday night started out great with Mal distracting her with hot cocoa and games only for her to hear Freya say Caspian’s name after Freya had seen a body part fall from the piñata. As if this trip couldn’t get any worse.

The trip absolutely sucked. Between all of the events that happened and Ivy almost getting kidnapped Saturday, Freya was ready to go home by the end of the week. She barely wanted to leave the room and she really didn’t want to leave Ivy alone with anyone. She was sure Macheta and Giorgina were the ones behind it, who else could it have been? But then again, they also hadn’t heard from either of them. So everything was just as confusing as before. The last night was spent locked away in the bedroom after the disaster dinner of Serenity’s head. Freya spent most of the night pacing back and forth trying to figure out what to do with Remedy. She couldn’t get rid of it, but she didn’t trust anyone else to run it. Nothing was getting easier for her. 

[skylar-devereux]

torture

Freya walked into the spare room at Gavin’s where Ivy was laying in bed fast asleep. The memorial at Remedy had been an absolute train wreck and she regretted taking Ivy there, but it was something for her uncle and it wasn’t her fault that her three year old acted better than grown adults. Sighing, Freya walked over to the bed and climbed into it, pulling her daughter close to her so she could just lay there and cuddle her. She had started to doze off when the male voice jolted her awake. “FREY!!” She groaned, looking down to make sure Ivy hadn’t woken up. “Freya!!!” Annoyed, she carefully laid Ivy down and made sure she wasn’t going to wake up before turning on the baby monitor and leaving the room, shutting the door behind her. She made her way down the hall to Gavin’s room, stopping in the doorway. “Ivy is asleep what the fuck are you running around screaming f— what are you doing?” She stood there, eyeing her boyfriend as he grabbed shit and shoved it into the duffle bag he had been packing. When Gavin told her to call the sitter and get her over to the house ASAP, she stared at him for a moment before her eyes landed on the gun in the waistband of his pants. “What the fuck did you do?” She glared at him, quickly calling her nanny to come over. 

When the nanny finally arrived, Freya left with Gavin and got into his truck. “When are you going to tell me whats going on?” She shoved the duffle bag into the truck and got in after, looking over at him. As Gavin took off, she noticed the grin on his face as he admitted to doing something before motioning towards the back where Daiza was laying, knocked out. “What the fuck Gavin?!  Is this what you were doing? Is he fucking dead?” She snapped her head around to look at him. They argued back and forth until they arrived at the graveyard. “Out of all the days to do this, you just HAD to pick today!” She groaned, following him out of the truck as he picked up Daiza and drug him over to his brothers grave. “What the fuck is the plan when he wakes up and sees our faces? Hmm? He’ll tell everyone who kidnapped him and I’m already labeled the fucking kidnapper!” Just then, Daiza woke up and began to realize what was happening. After dragging him to his brothers grave, they took him to an abandoned building and cut the locks, dragging him inside and shutting the door. 

The voices were starting to get louder. Her headache she had been trying to stop all week was coming on stronger than ever. 

This is perfect. Now you can finally get rid of the little pest. You know Gavin has a point. You know this was a good idea. Forget about Caspian and take your anger out on the little bitch boy. Make him pay for what he did...

She groaned, putting her hand on her head while Gavin took care of keeping Daiza chained up to a pipe so he couldn’t get away. Daiza was begging for them to just kill him at this point, but neither of them weren’t going to do that. “Now what?” Freya glared at Gavin. “Now we fuckin leave him here and come back tomorrow.” He shrugged his shoulders and leaned down to the duffle bag to grab the duct tape, he ripped a piece off with his teeth before walking to daiza and putting it over his mouth. “And you can yell all you want cause this shit is literally made outta brick and no ones gonna hear you once we lock those doors.” Gavin gave the male a smile. Freya rolled her eyes and turned, walking out of the building, leaving with Gavin once he was done locking up the building.

Freya started to think that Gavin’s plan was crazy. Someone was going to notice Daiza missing and start asking questions, and there had to have been someone that noticed Gavin carrying a human to his truck. Everything was going to come crashing down and who knows what was going to happen when it did. And her headache wasn’t helping anything either. The voices were screaming at her at this point, telling her to just go with what Gavin was doing and all would be fine. And maybe they were right. 

The next day, Freya left Noir and made her way back to the graveyard to meet Gavin there. Of course, she got there before he did. Parking her car, she got out and made her way to the building, unlocking the lock they had put on it before opening the door and walking in, closing the door behind her. Looking over at Daiza, she rolled her eyes and walked over to him, kicking his leg. “Wake the fuck up.” She kicked him again before starting to pace around the room. “You know, Daiza. You’re lucky to still be alive. You threatened my daughter. My three year old daughter. Who cannot defend herself. What the fuck is wrong with you?” She glared at the male. Walking over to him, she knelt down next to him. "You know... You still have all of your fingers, but that can be easily fixed if you ever lay a hand on my kid." She stood up and kicked Daiza once more before Gavin walked in the building with food for Daiza. He got Daiza up and put him in a chair he brought, chaining him up to the chair. 

She moved away from Daiza and rolled her eyes again. “What are we doing to this idiot now?” She watched as he chained Daiza to the chair and looked back down at Daiza while he ate and drank the food and water given to him. Gavin stood up and took a few steps back with a sinister grin on his face, “Damn I’m good.” He let out a small chuckle before he walked to his bag and pulled out a butterfly knife, he handed it to Freya. “I want you to carve whatever the fuck you want into this mother fucker until he says he’s sorry for saying he was gonna kill your daughter.” Freya stood back and watched Gavin, glancing around the room while she waited. Looking back over at them, she looked down at the knife and grinned. “Oooo... goodie. Give it here.” She grabbed the knife from him and walked over to Daiza, looking down at him. “Hmm...” she stared at him before rolling her eyes as he begged for them to not do it. “Maybe you’ll learn to keep your mouth shut then, yes?” The voices got louder and louder, filling her head with different things to carve into his skin. After a few minutes, the voices finally took over and before she knew it, she was carving Illegal into the males arm. Daiza cried and begged for them to stop, apologizing over and over again. But they just ignored him. 

Gavin headed over to the bag and sifting through it to find exactly what he wanted. He pulled out a branding iron of some sort and then a blow torch lighter. “Cause you are permanently about to be branded and reminded to not fuck with me..” Gavin started the blow torch and handed the branding tool to Freya, “Hold it while I get it hot.” He waited til she took it before putting the fire over the brand and waiting for it to get red hot. Freya grinned and took the branding tool from him and held onto it for him. “And I don’t think poor little Flynn deserves any of this... so if you’re smart you’ll just stop running your mouth for now on, and learn to shut up. Maybe I’ll put this one on his leg...” Daiza tried to pull his legs away instinctively, but couldn't, begging them not to do it. "Don't...I'm begging you. I will do anything. Anything you guys ask me...." 

Gavin was pulling up his pant leg to brand his leg, but stopped when he heard Daiza. “Anything? We could use this to our advantage honestly...” He looked to Freya who just arched her eyebrow. “What? how exactly? Just do it already.” She looked between the two males, getting more annoyed now that Gavin dropped the branding tool and confirmed what Daiza had said. “If we ask you to fuckin do anything you have to do it or I’ll bring you right back to this place and brand your whole fuckin body..got it!?” Gavin stabbed his hand with the butterfly knife, pulling it out after. “Freya come here.” Gavin motioned her over and pulled out a syringe and a vile of liquid. Freya walked over to him and arched her eyebrow, listening to him. “I need you to put him out, don’t fuckin over dose him just enough to knock him out for the night.” He whispered to her before standing back up. “Yes baby” she kissed his cheek and stuck the vial in the syringe, making sure to only take out what was needed to knock him out. Turning, she pulled the knife out of Daiza’s hand and grabbed his arm, fining the first vein she could spot and stuck the needle into him, keeping it there until the syringe was completely empty. 

Once he was out, they untied him and packed everything up, leaving the building and throwing Daiza back into the truck. They left the graveyard, Freya going home and Gavin leaving to go dump Daiza in a town in the outskirts of New York before returning home with Freya. Leaving Daiza there to wake up and find his own way back to New York