trying on a metaphor

tannertan36
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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JVL
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Show & Tell
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
will byers stan first human second

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Cosmic Funnies
Not today Justin
todays bird
RMH
ojovivo

Love Begins
wallacepolsom
YOU ARE THE REASON

titsay
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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@sleeplessincincinnati
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”
One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”
I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”
Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”
I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.
My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.
my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area
I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool
a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”
Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.
The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”
I work at Hardees and we have to yell “thank you” whenever we’re told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.
One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,
“THANK YOU”
i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone
I know I’ve reblogged this a billion times but I’ve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.
I work with horses and whenever someone’s driving too fast I’ll say stuff like “whoa” and I’ve tried to click to a car because that’s a cue for a horse to go faster.
How To Validate A Child’s Work Without Swearing and Saying “Lil Dude That’s Fuckin Sick”
Doja Cat - Juicy 😍
These are absolute fucking looks ok @lyricism1898
Did I show y’all this gang gang nonsense 2 hours after she was born lmaoo
@lyricism1898
The best thing about being an adult is if you want brownies for breakfast, you can make that shit happen. That’s it, nothing else is worth adulthood.
nothing else is worth adulthood.
everyone who reads this post will get some big spicy joy within 24 large minutes (hours)
Ok y'all but like I’m not even kidding about this I read this post yesterday and today I got an email from the peeps at hamilton and I won the lotto gor $10 tickets and I would like to give all my thanks to the internet’s favorite fish, Goldie Gurston, for making this possible because I totally believe they did this with their amazing gay powers
So I know this is likely a coincidence…but I reblogged this and just now discovered I’ve been given a $150 amazon gift card as a bonus at work. So thank you, fish!
If it worked for them I hope it works for everyone else
Some big spicy joy pls
SOME BIG SPICY JOY PLEASE
i request the big spicy joy
Daniel Radcliffe and Matthew Lewis at WWF in 2000.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone Cold Steve Austin
Cinderella (1950)
This. This moment is the most important in the movie. This is when the Prince falls for her - he was infatuated before but he clearly thought that the reason Cinderella was around him was because he was the Prince, but when he discovered she has no clue, he realised that she stayed and talked and spent the whole night with him because she likes who he was as a person - not his title. Not only that but he liked her; we don’t know what they talked about, but we can imagine it must have been interesting and nice to last a whole night so we know she just have said something that made him want to stay around her too. That’s why he wanted to find her, not cause she was pretty (I mean the guy couldn’t even remember her face and went off a shoe for God’s sake - which gives me a theory that the Prince has Prosopagnosia AKA face blindness) but because she liked him not his title, and he liked whoever she was, rich or poor.
The prince has face blindness and dumbass disease ok? He’s trying his best!
Beauty Supply Store: A Colour Study 2018 by Tash J Will.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal but love leaves a memory no one can steal"
After six years, you are still very loved and missed to the people that knew you in person but most importantly to the million of people you touched because of your heart.
As Lea Michele very well stated:
“Cory reached out, and he became a part of all of our hearts. And that's where he'll stay forever”
#6YearsWithoutCory
Love you and miss you 💗
harryshumjr: 🤟🏼