Man with a Scam

You know the drill. Cough up some dough then swing. Corner art by DJ Sribbs

[slickskipper-blog]

ooc; SO hey guys.

I've been on my old rp account and that's probably where I'll be for awhile.

The muse just jumped on me and then that's what happened.

[nat-theplanetarium-twat-deactiv]

“Kanker lipstick?” He repeated. “Huh. Was it the cute, blue-haired one? Marie?” He grinned. Yeah, everyone knew about those girls. Nat never met May, bumped into Lee once, but hit it off pretty well with Marie. “We went bowling once.” And then she disappeared off the face of the Earth. Well, apparently not— considering they were just here. What a pity.

Nat exhaled softly and caught Eddy’s eyes lingering over his messy mane. The fuck was he looking at? The athlete pulled his hood over his head. It was rare for him to leave the house without fixing his hair. “Alright, I’ll just…yank ya down or somethin’.” Arms extended once again to snatch the wrists of the suspended male. Damn. Eddy was really snagged on that branch. Mercilessly, Goldberg yanked him, yanked until he was sure to get a budge.

[slickskipper-blog]

Twisting around a little once more, he gave Nat an incredulous look. The cute one? There was no cute one- at least, not to Eddy, if only because they tormented him through most of his childhood. But besides that, he guessed maybe Marie was alright- sometimes. Then again, he had to pry her off Edd a few times just to give the guy a break.

"Nah, it was Lee. The redheaded chick."

With really, really red lipstick. Lofting an eyebrow when the figure, who appeared upside-down from his current point of view, pulled up his hood- the con artist drew out his grin even further across his features. Did he notice what he was lookin' at? Come on, bedhead or whatever it was isn't even that bad! Maybe he was shy or something.

No, that couldn't be it.

Hooking his grip around the other's wrists in return as soon as the guy reached up, he held on for dear life because holy hell if he snapped back- he'd be out like a light for sure. Even so, as Nat began to pull as hard as he could, Eddy heard a snap and glanced back.

"Wait-!"

The piece of bark he was caught on broke off, and he fell with it- toppling the athlete over in the process.

[slickskipper-blog]

$ $ $ ĸa-cнιng! $ $ $

[cdwalker]

A sense of pride welled up in her at the mention of her ‘ingenious’ idea and she grinned, folding her arms across her chest in a triumphant manner. Perhaps there wasn’t a lot to be proud of, impressing some random teenager. But hey, she didn’t impress that many people in her life. So she was going to milk it for all it was worth.

“‘Course I did,” she replied. “What, y’think I don’ know what m’talkin’ ‘bout? M’a natural beggar, y’see.” She took a few steps around him, eyeing the area that they were in, her hands nestled into her pockets as she smirked. “See, y’gotta scope out th’area first. Gotta see who’s ‘round, yanno? If y’set up shop where there’s a buncha business men in fancy suits who’re walkin’ all fast, y’ain’t gonna get shit. What y’gotta look for is like.. mom’s who’re shoppin’ or like.. ol’ men. All ‘bout th’demographic.”

Looking around, she saw more of the former than the latter. And so nope. He was barking up the wrong tree if he was looking for handouts.

“Ain’t nothin’ you’re gonna get ‘ere. Ain’t no money t’be had. Nope.” 

[slickskipper-blog]

A natural beggar. Huh- he never thought of becoming a beggar.

Probably not the best career path, but if he called it scamming instead of begging then it all worked out in the end. A win-win, people felt like they were giving to the poor and they were, while the poor (himself) benefited from their vast wealth. Didn't see a problem with that, that's for sure. Watching as she briefly circled him, he lofted an eyebrow and sorta fell silent- after all, these could be some real words of wisdom he stumbled upon.

"Alright, I get what you're sayin'.." 

He glanced around to take a look, occasionally glancing at the woman to see if there was a look of approval on her face or not. To be honest, he had no idea what he was looking for within the crowd of people, but at least he was giving it a shot. Who could become that good in two seconds anyways?

"Ya gotta pick out the suckers from the smarties."

There, that seemed like an easy way to put it. Twisting his mouth into a grin, he turned to face the other once more.

"Do ya know of a good place to catch some'a those?"

[fndm-rparchive-deactivated20180]

[fndm-rparchive-deactivated20180]

Lamont gave Eddy’s hand a firm shake, pairing it perfectly with the salesman grin.

He caught on to the kid’s change in demeanor; Really, this was just endearing at this point…

“Certainly, I’d love to prove it!” Drawing his hand back, Lamont pulled out his wallet and produced a businesscard with his name and contact information on it before handing it over.

Of course, it was the easiest means of proof he could offer, but it wasn’t like he was about to drag the kid along with him on a job. That would be irresponsible, not to mention more of an eye-opener than he was probably garnering for…

[slickskipper-blog]

Eddy noted the firm handshake, certainly seemed like he had the face of a salesman too with that grin. It seemed like the battle of wits between two competitors, but really it was just the shorter scam artist making up all these sale competitions in his head. It was obvious who was the real professional here.

Himself.

When he was handed the card, he only faltered for a second- flipping the thing around a few times to match the 'this side up' marking, even if it told him the wrong side. Scoffing, he gave the figure another skeptical look.

"Anyone can print off a card from the internet. You could be a real licensed phony and have that name printed out on a card too, if ya wanted."

[mariemetoday-deactivated2013091]

“Aw, you’re leavin’ me already? I just got back from a trip, c’mon, at least stay for a few minutes.”

Believe it or not, Marie was probably the ‘calmest’ of her sisters, rather, the least boy crazy. Yes, she definitely liked Edd, and would jump at the chance to be with him, but the other Eds? She didn’t really care. Marie wasn’t fond of Eddy, but he could be a funny guy sometimes.

[slickskipper-blog]

The only times he ever really talked to Marie, at least that he could remember, were the times when she was either asking him where Edd was or dragging him off to throw at Lee. Glancing around to look for the other Kankers, he seemed to relax a little once he noted that they weren't around. Still didn't mean he was ready to sit down and have a chat with the blue haired sister, but... he had to admit, out of all of them, she was most likely the only one he might be able to hold a conversation with.

"Fine, but don't expect me to listen about yer day or nothin'." 

[thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg-dea]

If I was dating you... (FINISH IT IN MY ASK)

[slickskipper-blog]

ooc; anyways time to eat so be back later

[tanksi-deactivated20220320]

So since I did a Kevedd comic which adapted the characters into my style I randomly really wanted to draw the  white trash Kanker Sisters.

[slickskipper-blog]

ooc; To be honest, I just want to say 'you're touching my udder' to someone

[asvantagens-de-ser-invisivel]

[mariemetoday-deactivated2013091]

“Neither is your brain. Haha, wait, it was never with you to begin with!” Marie grinned, laughter ringing with her voice.

[slickskipper-blog]

Rolling his eyes, Eddy hunched up his shoulders at her usual maniacal laughter and turned on his heels. Man, he had to get out of here. He had enough Kankers for one day, or for the whole year- or the rest of his life.

"Yeah, yeah. I don't got time for this- I'm outta here."

[slickskipper-blog]

mariemetoday started following you

Oh, speak of the devils. Or at least one of them.

"Edd isn't here."

[knowitalledd-deactivated2013081]

“How mature of you.”

Eddward wondered sometimes if Eddy would ever grow out of his child behaviour, such as what he did just now. But he felt that he shouldn’t belly ache so much about it. He’s put up with it for this long and it may very well just be Eddy’s personality. It was suiting, if he may say. With a grin, he set down his messenger bag, opened the flap, and flipped through a few books that he carried. Once locating a book, he motioned for the other to join him on the floor.

“Horoscopes can predict just how much income you will get during dates. See here?” He pointed to the Gemini horoscopes. “Gemini’s are said to have good savings during June and July! Isn’t that interesting?”

[slickskipper-blog]

Eh, maturity was saved up for important things. Why be mature and serious all the time, unless one wanted to end up like Edd's dad? That guy was a real bore. Not that he'd say it too often, because insulting a friend's parent just wasn't as funny as when they were kids. 

So, he grew up a little.

Sticking his hands in his pockets, he plopped down right next to Edd and gave him an overly bored look. Mostly because whatever 'learning' the other had to share usually ended up being such a drag and something that he never cared about, even though in the back of his mind he was mostly taking a listen in order to be polite. Come on, he wasn't all that bad of a friend- right?

But as soon as he heard the word 'income', it seemed like he was all ears. Leaning forward and placing a hand on the book's page, he peered at the words and symbols. 

"So you're sayin' all of this junk can tell ya whether or not you're gonna make a fortune?"

That was a long jump and huge assumption, but whatever.

[slickskipper-blog]

[highhorsebiker]

{♛] “I ain’t only talkin’ about your height, Skipper.”

Kevin was 100% sure that wasn’t the only thing short about Eddy. Man, the amount of time they’ve known each other, let alone been neighbors, never ceased to amuse him. Pickin’ at the dork was always a joyride too. Because, majority of the time, he could get his neighbor to crack ‘nd react the way he wanted the dork to. High School’s changed a lot of things, guess it’s a little amusing to see that his long time rival hasn’t.

He felt smug ‘nd cocky up until Eddy mentioned his bro, he practically froze but tried not to let it show. Man, no matter what, his fears would come back to haunt him, huh? Just had to be a man ‘bout it.

“Yeah, heh, uh.. like you could be that tall. Only in your dreams, loser. Keep dreamin’.”

[slickskipper-blog]

Not about his height? Well- whatever he meant, Eddy wasn't about to be insulted about those things either. Stepping forward with a deep scowl, he puffed out his chest, which was a habit he had whenever he was angry.

"That's some big talk coming from a stretch- and don't call me Skipper."

He'd even bet a quarter Kevin was more talk than he had on him, but there was no need to throw out bets without any money to actually back that up. Then again- he was sure he still had a shiny coin left over from that free money this huge guy gave him.

Whatta sucker. 

A crooked grin worked its way over his lips, because it was really hard to ignore that pause Kevin gave- he knew that his brother was still a legend around these parts. Maybe not for what he wanted him to be, but it was something to use when he didn't have much else to his name. Another step forward to invade the other's personal space, with that leer STRETCHED out across his features.

"How would you know? I'll be as tall as my Bro by the end of this year- talk to my doc' if ya don't believe me!"

[nat-theplanetarium-twat-deactiv]

“Pft—” Those arms processed a shrug now and went back to resting at his sides. If he didn’t want help, he didn’t want help. What more could Nat do? But man, what a position to be in. 

“You sound upset.” The freckled teen turned this way and that to try and maintain eye contact with the direction Eddy kept spinning in. He made such an adorable little pinata. “Looks like a party to me. I mean, y’got lipstick all over you.” His finger ghosted over his own face to pinpoint designated areas of unwanted affection. The frustrated schemer wasn’t making much progress. How long had he been up in the tree before the footballer even arrived? As comedic as this was, Nat offered up again, “Are you suuure you don’t want any help?”

[slickskipper-blog]

A party?

"Yeah, right. This is a Kanker's lipstick."

That should explain everything, assuming Nat had at least heard of the touchy gang. Then again, not a lot of people had to deal with them other than the Eds. Dropping back down with a huff, he was finally able to give a good look towards the other- noting how that green hair of his seemed pretty messed up on one side as if he had bedhead or something. Quirking a slight grin at the tufs of strands sticking out from the side of the other's head, he finally shrugged with amusement sketched across his features. 

After all, the blood was rushing to his head and he really needed to get right-side up again. Soon. Rubbing at his face once more in hopes of ridding the rest of the red goop, the smaller figure let his arms hang down for a second.

"Alright, alright- help me down."

[slickskipper-blog]

I can't get enough of your love, babe

Some things I can't get used to, no matter how I try-

It's like the more you give, the more I want

And baby,

that's no lie oh no,baby ♫

[slickskipper-blog]

[highhorsebiker]

{♛] “‘Least I ain’t actin’ like a twelve-year-old. I know how to grow up ‘nd be mature, it’s funny how even a few years later, you’re still a little short to par in all the wron’ places, dork.”

[slickskipper-blog]

"I'm NOT short!"

If there was any way to make Eddy red in the face from anger, it was definitely picking on his height. Thankfully he had grown a bit in recent years, after all his brother wasn't the shortest stuff around so he had hoped he'd gain some inches too, but so far he was only taller than the chicks. Not the dudes.

"I've got a few more inches to grow- just ya wait and see. I'll be as tall as my Bro."

This guy, this guy was a real tool.