Where I've Been. Where I want to be. Where I don't.
About 2 months ago I had put out a mix tape with the group I was in called The Good Boys. We got our tape hosted by an internet DJ by the name of DJ Ill Will and it was put up on his website called hotnewhiphop.com.
This had been a goal of ours since we started the group in December of 2009, and finally made it happen just earlier this year in February (2011). It took fucking forever to get in touch with this guy, but FINALLY we got through and made the deal with him and before we knew it we were up on the main page of arguably the biggest hip-hop/rap site on the web with “DJ Ill Will” and “DJ Rockstar” being tagged all over our songs.
By the way, real quick, DJ Ill Will had messaged our Good Boys twitter account a couple nights before the tape was gonna drop asking about my production. He said, “tell jesse if he wants to get some beats placed with @Kid_Ink hit me i like his production” For me, that was like winning my first grammy. I got the e-mail at like 2 in the morning and got up immediately and woke up my whole house and started running around and jumping on my bed. I had work the next day, my sister had work the next day, my mom was chillen watching TV but for me that was like the first sign of success. First time I had been noticed by a name that I knew. A name that the whole internet knew wanted ME for something. I knew I was doing something right.
So, we put out this shit, with DJ Ill Will & DJ Rockstar’s tags all over it (which by the way, DJ Rockstar doesn’t really exhist, it is just a way for Ill Will to get more money out of kids like me, which I can’t deny is a smart, easy way to make money) Anyway… when it came to the tags all over our music, I had a lot of people say to me, “Jesse, why is that guy yelling all over your songs?” I thought this was funny cause for Jez and I (The Other “Good Boy”) that was like the COOLEST fucking part. That was what we worked for for that year, and why we tried to write, record, and produce the dopest shit we could for that mix tape. All so we can pay some dude to put his tags all over our music and promote us for a couple of days on the front page of his website.
The tape was out. It was hosted by the DJ we had in mind. Wouldn’t have changed it for a thing. Better yet…people were actually responding really well to the music. That was huge for 2 kids that were hated all over this town because of a video we did for a pop record. That was fucking rad seeing all these positive comments. Especially cause the comments on this site are usually harsh as shit. So the fact we were getting positive ones was fucking DOPE. Everything was going well. We were excited. What is the next thing i chose to do? PROMOTE PROMOTE PROMOTE. You can’t ever stop doing that. It is the most important thing. This is my everything, my all, my love, so of course I want the fucking universe to hear it. I signed on to twitter, and tweeted a whole shit ton of people with the link to the tape. Usually, when someone tweets me a link to a video, or a mixtape, or a song, etc. I ignore it. UNLESS something catches my attention. For example, hmm let me see….. like if their tape was being hosted by DJ Ill Will & DJ Rockstar and was a HotNewHipHop.com link. That’s when i click the link, and actually give it a chance. That’s the way things work. We all want to see a familiar name first. So like i said, I’m promoting the dick out of this shit. Facebook, twitter, text messages, whatever it may be.
Later that day, I message DJ Ill Will about the production thing. Wanted to start working asap. No time for sleep, fuck that. I wanted to work non stop.
I message him. Then I get a message back saying this: “we need to talk about u spamming first before we do any business”
Basically, I wanted to cry haha. I was pissed at myself. I messaged back telling him that it was simply me being an excited kid that wants the world to hear my music, and that this has been my goal for such a long time so i want the world to know it’s real and it’s happening. He messaged back saying “the world will hear u if they want to bro dont force them,….make good music and create a name for yourself u dont see me spaming kid ink”
I messaged back again, figuring he was being understanding of what happened, but i let him know i had shit for kid ink to hear.
Again, i messaged him. Asking when he wants to hear some shit. I had it ready, I was ready to make anything.
Once again. Another message sent to him, this time with a link to a page with a bunch of beats.
This brings me to the reason for writing this entry.
Lately I have been saying FUCK DJ ILL WILL. and FUCK HOTNEWHIPHOP because truthfully, that’s how the fuck I feel. When I think about it I say to myself “Jesse that’s pretty fucked up. I mean he hosted your mixtape. And look how well that did. That was dope. What are you thinking?” But it’s the same reason I said something about Romeo’s verse on the song “Humble” off that mixtape this fuck hosted. It’s because honesty is what I believe in. Bottom line.
Looking back, I have always thought DJ Ill Will was a cheese ball, kiss ass, internet DJ. Sure, he is a hustler. He’s doin his thing. Good for you man, but you’re a fake in my eyes. Who couldn’t understand a 19 year old kid who does EVERYTHING on his own musically tweeting at a few famous people on twitter? The fact that this nerd didn’t even give me the courtesy to message me back. Like come on dude. He could have messaged back saying “FUCK NO I NEVER WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH YOU AGAIN.” and it would have been better than no message at all. Right?
Also, the fact he says “you dont see me spamming kid ink” That is BULLSHIT. Sure, maybe he doesn’t personally tweet every big name artist with the link to kid ink’s shit. But whenever kid ink has a new song it is always at the TOP of the list of the new songs on HNHH. He always has a banner somewhere on the page for Kid Ink. You know he texts every big name in his contacts begging them to link up with Kid Ink for a record. He put out a mix tape recently of like the “greatest hits of 2010” or some shit like that that was hosted by him, “Rockstar” and none other than Kid Ink. Like, WHAT THE FUCK is that??? Kid ink is a host now too? If that isn’t spamming then i must be an idiot.
Kid Ink is an alright rapper. I can say I downloaded his mix tape “Crash Landing”. And that I like 2 songs he’s ever put out. But he is SPAMMED and that’s why people listen to him. William Reaves owns HotNewHipHop.com. He is DJ Ill Will. He is DJ Rockstar. and he spams Kid Ink because he can. For a minute, i was legitimately jealous of Kid Ink. Saying to myself… “Fuck dude. I wish I could have every snippet I ever release on HNHH. Every video i ever do on HNHH. Every mixtape hosted by Ill Will and "Rockstar”.
But now I realize. I do not want a part of that. That is true spamming. That is true abuse of power. To be honest, if i were Kid Ink I would feel kinda in a fucked up position. Like, look how much Ill Will is doing for him. But does he have the respect he wants?
I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me. I am out for so much more than being on HNHH, having a host put his tags all over my music, and having a bunch of Lil’ Wayne fans comparing me to his music.
So all of this isn’t necessarily talking shit. It’s talking honestly. I am allowed to feel however I’d like. All i know is that i personally do not want to work with DJ Ill Will or HotNewHipHop ever again. This isn't necessarily a FUCK YOU to Ill Will, or Kid Ink, or anyone associated cause honestly i’m not that type of human being. I am just putting down in words how i feel about the whole situation. I just don’t want to be a part of that which is a huge reason I didn’t go to Ill Will about putting out my new music. It is MINE. All of me. Everything I am.
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