Huffelpuff: *to Slytherin* you are the knife to my murder.
Slytherin:
Slytherin: first of all, I'm flattered, secondly what the actual f-?!
noise dept.
YOU ARE THE REASON
🪼
todays bird

oozey mess
Xuebing Du
Peter Solarz

JBB: An Artblog!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

@theartofmadeline

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occasionally subtle
i don't do bad sauce passes

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Mike Driver
One Nice Bug Per Day
tumblr dot com

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature

seen from Malaysia

seen from South Korea
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seen from Brazil
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seen from United States
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seen from Canada
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@slyterinthings
Huffelpuff: *to Slytherin* you are the knife to my murder.
Slytherin:
Slytherin: first of all, I'm flattered, secondly what the actual f-?!
Ravenclaw: You seem to be enjoying work.
Slytherin: nope, absolutely hate it there.
Ravenclaw:
Ravenclaw: you smile a lot for someone who hate their job...
Slytherin: Well, apparently telling people to fuck right off is considered "unprofessional" so this has to do.
16-year-old Tom Riddle: Do you know anything about horcruxes? Specifically, how to create them? Slughorn: Horcruxes? What is this for? Tom Riddle: Fun.
*In an argument*
Slytherin: Where do you usually find it?
Griffindor:
Griffindor: What?
Slytherin: The audacity, you seem to have a lot of it.
Griffindor: ....I feel like I should be offended but I'm actually impressed.
Slytherin: uughhhhh...
Ravenclaw:
Ravenclaw: What happened to you?
Slytherin: I got my periods and a cold at the same time and I feel like a fucking ketchup bottle everything i sneeze or cough...
Ravenclaw:Okay, too much information
Slytherin: so now I gotta clench extra hard everytime I-
Ravenclaw: Please stop talking.
Ravenclaw: So what do you do when you really really desire something?
Slytherin: well... I work hard and be consistent towards whatever end result it is that I want.
Ravenclaw:
Ravenclaw: So you told me you really really desire a romantic relationship, am i right?
Slytherin: yes.
Ravenclaw: ...and how is that going?
Slytherin:....If the universe really wants me to find love it will just drop my soulmate on my lap. *shrugs*
Ravenclaw:
Slytherin: how do you politely tell someone that they are retarded and a jellyfish probably has more brain cells than they do?
Ravenclaw: Since when do you do polite?
Slytherin:
Slytherin: Mum said I can only insult the relatives if I don't make it obvious enough...
Ravenclaw: Understandable.
Hufflepuff: Don't you often feel like Slytherin and ravenclaw share a braincell ?
Griffindor: Now that you point it out...
Slytherin & Ravenclaw*in sync*: We do not!
Hufflepuff: yeepp they do.
Slytherin & Ravenclaw: You take that back!
Slytherin & Ravenclaw *to each other*: shut up!
*over breakfast*
Evan: What are you reading?
Regulus*shows him*
Evan: that’s…p*rn
Regulus: it's called smut you uncultured swine.
Evan: ...
(I got this idea from: @slyterinthings)
Slytherin dad: *regally* The consequence of my actions has finally arrived I see.
Slytherin kid: *sighs* A very good day to you too father.
Slytherin: Rat bastard
Hufflepuff:
Slytherin: RRRaaat bastard.
Hufflepuff: EXCUSE ME?
Slytherin: oh you're excused darling.
Hufflepuff: asshole. That aside why are you calling me a rat bastard?
Slytherin: I'm not calling you anything, I just like the way it sounds.
Hufflepuff: what the fuck did I marry....
Slytherin: Don't you just want to cuddle a toaster sometimes, in a bathtub, while it's plugged.
Ravenclaw:
Ravenclaw: do you need help bestie?
Slytherin: Does your brain do this thing too where it plays your most embarrassing memories randomly or is it just me ?
Ravenclaw: nope, mine do that all the time too.
Slytherin:
Ravenclaw:
Slytherin:*in tears* please how do I make it stop?
Ravenclaw: *also in tears* I have no fucking clue, I've been trying for years.
Hufflepuff *staring*
Slytherin:
Hufflepuff *staring intensifies*
Slytherin:...
Hufflepuff *stares some more*
Slytherin: what do you want?
Hufflepuff: so... there's this cult-
Slytherin: no.
Hufflepuff: buttt you didn't even let me finish.
Slytherin: yeah, NO.
*Ravenclaw enters the room*
Slytherin: Bitch.
Ravenclaw:
Ravenclaw: Remind me, why am I friends with you again?
Slytherin: Because whenever you whip out questionable stuff, I never ask why you have them or where you get them from.
Ravenclaw: *sighs* ofcourse
*over text*
Hufflepuff: asfehdjbdxjdk
Slytherin: ...
Hufflepuff: iluwgydybdu
Slytherin: ...
Slytherin: I love you too, baby.
Hufflepuff: ^.^
Blaise: Pansy showed feelings?
Draco: A feeling. Seemed like a human one. It's hard to tell.