I got it. I got my closure and I'm so glad to be living and thriving and being with someone who doesn't manipulate me every waking hour. I'm so thankful for her. She let's me exist in the space we live and thrive in together. I got closure that you still think about everything you did that led up to me waking up and escaping you. I didn't realize till we got away from you that me existing is not some sort of major inconvenience to you being happy. I had my first autistic meltdown since we had gotten away from you because of stress from over exertion and while I was crying and freaking out I was silent while the person I loved was in the other room completely unaware. Because if I made a sound, because of you, if I made a sound my brain convinced me I was going to get screamed at and belittled for having emotions and taking up space. The more I broke down the tiniest noise escaped me and I had a gut jerk reaction to cover my mouth, stop breathing, and pull myself in as small as I possibly could. And she came in and immediately comforted me. And accommodated for me. She's the first person in my life to truly not make me feel like a burden. And I know that. I know that she wouldnt respond to me like that. But out of instinct and fear from you, I instinctually feel like those who love me can't possibly care for or about me. You ruined me. But I'm getting better. And we're doing well. I got my autism diagnosis. I have a good therapist. And a chiropractor for my chronic pain that I'm finally getting diagnosed as well. And I got an iud in to stop my periods that almost put me in the hospital. We are safe and you don't know where we are and I will never interact with you again. Because now I know that I don't have to. I hope you look back at all out conversations and really take in now blatantly awful you we're to me.
This is in absolutely in no shape or form an invitation to contact me. Dont even consider it.