Tobias

I just really need a space to share. I can’t burden my friends with this anymore. Now I’m the hellsites problem. Enjoy you freaks. 23.

[smalltownfreakytoby]

Accidentally joined a cult and somehow became leader??? All we do is eat bread, worship bread, and make bread?? I don’t know what is happening here anymore!

[smalltownfreakytoby]

Why is everything in my life a symptom of autism??? I don’t have autism???

[smalltownfreakytoby]

Blacked out for a day, woke up with a bad marble hornets stick and poke. Apparently I still went to work, i have no messages saying I missed it.

[smalltownfreakytoby]

Finally got an appointment with my doctor, time to get referred to a mind doctor!!

[smalltownfreakytoby]

I was looking at my yearbook from a while ago, a kid killed themselves and they dedicated a page to them. I was looking at that page and wondering what they would’ve put for me. What photos would be there. What words they would have used to describe the “pain” of losing me. How would they ever describe the life of Tobias! Would they go on about how creative I was? Would they say that I was someone unknown? Or would they actually share about how adventurous I was, how dedicated to my job I was, how much I loved my dog? My favorite books?

Would my page be as boring as that kids, or would they actually give a damn about me?

That’s what I’m thinking right now, where I’m in the corner of my kitchen with a pie knife waiting for something that’s not there to attack.

The end of this post was… wrong.

[smalltownfreakytoby]

Hhhhhhhhnnnnggggggggaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh

I want smokesssssssss

I want weeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddd

I’m brooooookkkkeeeeeeee

Hheeeeeeellllppppppppppppppppppp

[smalltownfreakytoby]

I’ve been having some mental health issues lately. I’ve been getting violent urges and hallucinating. This has been going on since I was 12.

I’m going to talk to my doctor about getting mental help soon. I hope that it goes well.