Last of a Dying Breed

A beast awakens, at the least a patron, to the art that is life, and if that ain't right, then this ain't write...

[smoothassatten]

"When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this - you haven't."

-Thomas Edison

[xo-indulgence]

[huffylemon]

damn ok lake superior

[songsofwaterandnight]

Ok yeah that lake is superior

[smoothassatten]

Tonight I met a dude on my way out of the gym, ended up speaking to him in the cold for 60 minutes, shared my testimony, prayed over him, and made a new friend.

For the first time.

Thank you God.

[smoothassatten]

I am employed again!!!! GLORY TO GOD!

[smoothassatten]

‭1 Peter‬ ‭4:10‬ ‭CEB‬

[10] And serve each other according to the gift each person has received, as good managers of God’s diverse gifts.

[smoothassatten]

‭1 John‬ ‭4:18‬ ‭CEB‬

[18] There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear expects punishment. The person who is afraid has not been made perfect in love.

I love you Thwani

[smoothassatten]

‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭NIV‬

[17] Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

[smoothassatten]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[smoothassatten]

There's always next year!

[smoothassatten]

"Remember, it never gets easier, YOU just get better."

- Coach Sally, Nike Run Club app

[smoothassatten]

Thwani

I need to belong to you.

And I need you to belong to me.

Mutually and conditionally.

As you deserve.

As I deserve.

[smoothassatten]

"If she had been the mother I had wanted, I would not be the man I am proud to be.

...

Your biggest problem is you think you shouldn't have them."

- Tony Robbins

[smoothassatten]

Tonight, for the first and only time in my life, I called somebody on their cell phone, my 20 year old son jay, and in the middle of his voicemail he picked up the call. I'm still completely mystified.

[smoothassatten]

"Your greatest witness will be your with-ness."

- Hosanna Song

[smoothassatten]

My reflections yesterday:

I feel like I'm climbing a mountain with no gear right now... in the past 2 days I've had a two and a half hour therapy session with my wife and an hour and a half counseling session for myself and holy s*** were they both massively meaningful but so exhausting and my brain was like "damn"... but I'm also starting to put the pieces together and my brain is really like "damn bro... it took you this long?

But I'm also realizing that Beyond abandonment issues and fears and insecurities and a need to have doubtless faith with God, that I definitely have an issue in terms of looking at my past and seeing my lessons learned as failures. Maybe it's something that a lot of men deal with but we have to see failure as experiential learning, and not tag ourselves as losers or guilt ourselves in the process. I guess I'm sharing because I really understand it but now I have to apply it which is the real hard part.

I guess the real real hardest part is accepting the past as the past once and for all and realizing that it really truly doesn't matter anymore and focusing entirely on the present and what I want for the future and acting in that awareness. I was listening to a different podcast tonight where the person was making a point about how hard it is to live a life where you act with love as opposed to acting through fear and I'm realizing how hard it is to let go of that fear, partially because acting through love requires more energy and at least up front, constant intent and awareness.

[smoothassatten]

Tearing down is easy.

Building up is hard.