YOU GO GIRL!

[smurfetteskater]

🎁🪭

[smurfetteskater]

Slept with him.

No seggs.

I’m cool

[smurfetteskater]

He comes down. He says get out, puts me in the back seat, gets in the drivers seat, drives us somewhere not here, tells me he doesn’t have the self control or the restraint to not do this, he says sorry for everything ever, but I fucking cant do this. I need you in more ways than this one, but I need you in this one rn. You know how I get when I’m losing you, you cant be in the middle of leaving me for two weeks, you cant be leaving me. Youre mine. YOURE. M I N E, *his voice is growling these words grinding up out of his stomach, reverberating into my skull, down my neck, into my chest through my spine, holding in a vibrating resonance that destroys my senses. I feel it even when I think about it, and fuckKKKKK youre doing it. It’s like macing me with super overwhelm, it’s like being electrocuted by breath and blood lust. I’m so shocked cerebrally that I physically move like I’m being tickled, but in that same respect, i weaken & all my strength is gone. I can’t fight you for many reasons already, but you whip into the car and snatched my breath and strength off rip… like a tornado thats just invasive and hard enough to turn out all my sensations upon contact. It feels pathetic to need someone I’m unhappy with, it’s an old thing I thought I got passed. I truly did…

But I see now, the boundaries that were crossed. They were so perfectly violating— that Ive trained myself against my lessons learned.

I trained myself to be a… toy, I can play with it, or he can… but either way, I’m fucked.

I don’t even want it anymore. I just— like— get so much pleasure from the thought.

I remember when I wouldn’t blink, I’d just snap and go through with whatever it is…

& I felt like… I could go for that.

… but I can’t.

I could at least agree to only crack if he CRACKSSSSSS. Like… the fuckin demon in my fantasy…

Maybe im battling some other other shit fr 🫩

[scorpio-blushing]

Making out and NOTHING ELSE is a lost art. Bring back TENSION

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

'kids these days have it easy' thats the point thats the point thats the whole point we're here to make it better for whoever comes after you sad selfish self absorbed puddle of wank

[gardnerhill]

John Adams: “I study war and diplomacy, so that my son may study trade and commerce, so that his son may study art and music.”

[smurfetteskater]

Him: 444

Intrusive thoughts- ME: whorewhorewhore🧎🏾‍♀️‍➡️

[narcissistichedonist]

shy girls who are too afraid to talk yet fantasize about being talked through an orgasm

[smurfetteskater]

Danced on my shit 😔

[smurfetteskater]

I literally texted him— I need that.

Said it was autocorrect

Said 🧍🏾‍♀️ Gn

And he BOUGHT IT & said goodnight.

I feel like I won at among us & lost at everything else lol

[smurfetteskater]

I have like a fucking skill for solving problem bed with P R O B L E M S

[narcissistichedonist]

anxious girls will beg you to fuck their brains out to prevent them from overthinking

[smurfetteskater]

So yeah tumblr was used to dickstract me from times like this… and BITCH

:( NOW IM DICKSTRACTED

[narcissistichedonist]

calling you a good girl whenever you cum in order to condition your body to react and soak your panties with arousal each time you are called a good girl

[smurfetteskater]

HM. .

[narcissistichedonist]

talk to her condescendingly and she'll feel all warm and fuzzy from being babied

[smurfetteskater]

You forgot humiliated like I have a wet pamper on

[smurfetteskater]

Cried myself to sleep, but I woke up so many times. It’s like… impossible. How does a person wake up like 20 times? Like even more than 15-20?

[smurfetteskater]

Long story short, yea. It’s not working… on so many levels. Then you added this fucking level.

*I can’t go for that (no can do) plays bass boosted*

So now— I done left you ofc— even without the closure.

Closure is tmm, hopefully…

& sad face… ive not been right lately.

I slept 20 minutes once a day for two days. Then slept a sleep… then did the same thing again. Then slept, then pulled an all-nighter, and now I’m here— at 4am, sitting near your house, telling myself this is as close as I get like a little attached animal is in the background trying to run my life.

Anywhere’s lonely, so is right next to you— so downstairs from you— I guess thats the leash. I guess that’s the leash I can’t take off.

My collar has a tag, and I’m fighting the urge to play “Emergency Contact” BC I KNOW.. IMMA START BAAAWWWLING 😖

😮‍💨

You know it’s bad if I’m back to homemaking

Journaling on tumblr.

… oh yeah.. I slept here the other day.

My mom may have figured I was at his house.

But I did…

Tumblr, insomnia, sleeping in the car… not good.

[smurfetteskater]

Soooooo I learned about limerence… & mhm.

[melanatedqueens]

[smurfetteskater]

Cried myself to sleep, but I woke up so many times. It’s like… impossible. How does a person wake up like 20 times? Like even more than 15-20?