A little bit of everything

I don't really have something fixed I am going to stick to. I will just do random and anything

[snytjietoast]

Spending time with God

I have spent quite a bit of time on Sunday with God and instead of asking I just sat there and listened. When I was completely in the presence of God he gave me a message that has inspired me so much and I believe other people should hear this message too.

I got quite comfortable and put on some relaxing worship music and told God that tonight I am only going to listen. We are going to spend time together and instead of just rambling on with what needs to be done and praying for others I just listened and asked God to help me hear his voice since I am not all that trained yet to do so alone. He surely did help me hear his voice. Before I tell you what he told me I should add that on Sunday morning in church there was a whole message about baggage and how you should let God take over and stuff.I should also add that they gave the message in the form of a stage play. Now when I spent time with him he used exactly that play to give me a beautiful message. He put a picture in my mind of bags with labels on them. These labels are usually the insults and problems people give you. It's all emotional baggage. He told me to give every single one of them to Him and every bag I give I should tell him what is written on that label. So I started to do that. I just gave him a bag, told him what is on the label and he answered back with something else. Example:

Hate --> Love Anger --> Peace Depression --> Joy Ugly --> Beautiful Nerd --> Intelligent Suicidal --> Life Disappointment --> Proud Rejected --> Accepted

I trust fully you start to see what I mean. Every bag I gave him, he took from me and gave me a much smaller with the opposite of what I said in return. The bags given to me is as light as a feather, small as a little plastic bag, but what is inside each one of them is 5 times as much as what was in the bags I gave. God told me the following once I was done: "You carry so much baggage with you that people can't even see your beautiful face anymore. For ever bag you gave me, I take away and give you much more and better in return."

It was something so fantastic to experience. It is something that I hope everyone experiences at least once. It is the most beautiful thing I have heard and seen in my life.

[snytjietoast]

Embrace chaos in life

Sometimes your life needs to be chaos so that you can lose yourself and then suddenly have this amazing breakthrough where you find a new and better you. You also start to get past issues you have been facing for years. Between all the chaos, stress, tears and frustration some of the best moments of your life can happen

[thesecretletter]

I’m so sorry for ruining what we had. I know you said it wasn’t my fault, but I know deep down you know that that isn’t true. I just wish there were something I could do. Some way I could get you to love me again. Now I have to live the rest of my life knowing I can no longer have the most amazing human being who ever lived, as well as knowing it’s my fault.

Your secrets are safe here (via thesecretletter)

[snytjietoast]

After years of not playing this game it’s nice to know I still got some good scores!

[snytjietoast]

It hurts

Tonight is again one of those sad nights where my heart hurts because of those that is no longer part of my life and where I need a hug so badly that it makes my tears burn like acid. I swear one day in the near future I will wake up and be happy again

[snytjietoast]

I feel like I can just pick up everything I need and leave. Just take a long trip alone from everyone that upsets and hurts me. I wish I can just go without having to worry about a damn thing to a place where my tears no longer burn like acid and I am no longer hurting. I wish that I can just finally live the way I want to without some judgemental assholes around every corner. I want to go to a place where I can forget the past, only see the future and not ever have to struggle with not starting to cut again

[snytjietoast]

If people ever tells you that video games has no art in it, then please show them this and fus ro da them into the ground. Screenshots taken from The Elder Scrolls online. Really fantastic art work built into this game and I think with a better graphics card it would look even more mind blowing!

[snytjietoast]

Micro and small businesses

This is a shout out I want to do for all local retail stores. People sometimes are quickly to judge a store by how high its prices are without the full backup reason for why prices is like that. Keep in mind this is not to exploit, harm, badmouth or say anything negative about any place. This is merely to give a shout out to local micro and small businesses that’s trying really hard to make it in this horrible economy. Take for example my store( I am located in South Africa to clear up any confusion, but this can apply anywhere and everywhere). I classify currently as micro business. People are quickly to point out that for example takealot or amazon is cheaper because of some special they are running. Its true they might be cheaper but they don’t need it as much as the small business owner. When you support local small and micro businesses you aren’t paying for their vacation house you are helping them make a living and put food on their table. I’m not saying don’t support or buy from anyone else but it wont hurt buying local and paying just a little bit more sometimes

[snytjietoast]

Journals

So I have about 6 years of journals that I have written anything and everything. I am currently on the path to healing from some situations I have been through in my life. Is it really worth it to keep those or should I burn it? I don’t know exactly what I should do with it and what not. I don’t realistically see me reading it again or even showing it to someone. Should I keep it or use it maybe for later in my life?

[snytjietoast]

Castiel my baby budgie snuggled up to me for warmth and fell asleep just like he stood there

[snytjietoast]

You are precious

Take a good look into my eyes. What you see is part of my soul. You might not see all the light in it because people have killed it through the years. Look past the hurt and see the small light shining as I look deeply into your eyes. That light you see is there because of you. That light is there because through my eyes you are precious. You are so beautiful and I admire you deeply. I hope that you can see that in your life. I hope that you can see the value you are to others. Never forget that. Never forget that you are special, precious and a blessing in others life. Never ever doubt the value of your life. You have no idea how much you mean to someone else. You have no idea how many people is still alive, because you are in their life. You have no idea how many times you stopped someone from ending their life without you knowing or realizing it.

[snytjietoast]

When sadness has a grip on your heart

I feel that in my life I have lived through many things and most of them are really horrible. Today I am feeling it all again from the bottom of my heart and soul. It really hurts. Sometimes people hurts you so badly that it just stops hurting at all. I really just wish my mom could hold me tight and not let go at all.

[snytjietoast]

My special birdy! Love Castiel so much. Finally tame enough to come out of it’s cage and play on my desk

[snytjietoast]

ESO

On my way to game the elder scrolls online on my pc! Love questing and playing games so much. I got heavily side tracked but I think I might log on a few hours now that I have the chance. Was planning on reading today, but that will have to wait a bit

[snytjietoast]

A game I have been playing recently that I enjoy quite a bit

[snytjietoast]

to my mom

[snytjietoast]

coming home

Worst part of life is coming home to more issues than when you left