Pipe down Lawro, you couldn't predict the colour of your own eyes...
I'm fed up with signing onto the BBC website each week and seeing that face. That boring, annoying face that could only belong to Mark Lawrenson, sitting just below the usual 'Lawro's Predictions' title that, for some reason I still read week in week out.
I have no idea why though. He only picks from around 4 different possible scores. 0-0, 1-0, 1-1 and 2-0. You radical, radical man Lawro. You must've been wild as a young boy.
I'm fed up with getting more servings of crap than a girl in a German porno, so I'm taking it upon myself to provide my own opinions, they're the only ones I care about. I'll do it every week, and If I beat that Lawro prick, then I'll die a happy man.
Tottenham V Man City 12.45- The first match of the Premiership season, and what a prospect. Potentially these two could decide who gets fourth spot this season, so this match could be tighter than Jamie Redknapp's grey suit. City of course have strengthened over the summer, bringing in the likes of David Silva, Jerome Boateng and Yaya Toure and now Mario Balotelli. Spurs have not had that luxury but Redknapp has built a very impressive team at Spurs. I'm going to put my neck on the line and suggest a 2-2 draw here. Both teams have goals in them, and will be pushing for the win, but I can't separate them.
Blackpool V Wigan 3.00- Newly promoted Blackpool have a real chance of making a mark on the Premier League today. Wigan have been hotly tipped by many to suffer relegation this season. They don't score many, and they love to concede. However they do have an uncanny ability to turn up once or twice throughout the season. Blackpool are not in the Premier League through luck. They deserve to be here, work hard, and can score goals. I'm tipping a momentous 3-1 win for Holloway's men.
Aston Villa V West Ham- 3.00- This could be an interesting one. Villa are notorious for starting the their season's well, and it's not normally until christmas time that you see them collapse. However they'll be in disarray after the departure of Martin O'Neill, and without James Milner, they'll be even more likely to struggle. They play alot of their football through him, and without him there, they might be lost for ideas. West Ham have a great manager in Avram Grant, and have bought in some exciting players, inclding the Mexican Barrera. I think they'll have a good season this season, and see them scraping this one 3-2.
Blackburn V Everton 3.00- Blackburn were resilient at home last season, and I'd expect nothing else under Sam Allardyce. However they do seem to struggle for goals and that's no doubt a problem they hope to solve with the signing of Mame Biram Diouf on loan from United. Everton, for once have no real injury concerns however. Arteta, Cahill and Jagielka are fit, and Jermaine Beckford has looked sharp during pre season. Everton to win 3-1.
Bolton V Fulham 3.00- Bolton, Like Blackburn have trouble scoring goals, especially if Kevin Davies isn't on form. On the flipside, Fulham have lost their influencial manager Roy Hodgson and it'll be interesting to see how they bounce back. I expect Bobby Zamora to maintain his good form, after looking lively for England on Wednesday night, and Gera is always getting in and around the goals. It won't be a great match, but I expect 1-1 will be a scoreline that both sides will take.
Chelsea V West Brom 3.00- The Premier League Champions start the season at home to newly promoted West Brom and there's only one result I can see here. West Brom have always tried to play attractive football, and do pose a threat on goal, but I don't see them getting anything here. Chelsea have home advantage, and their defence has been awful over the past 5 games. They'll want to hit back with a solid win, and I expect a few goals here. They will concede, but they'll put plenty past West Brom. 5-2 to Chelsea.
Sunderland V Birmingham 3.00- Birmingham finished in 9th last season, and were very impressive in defence. They've lost Joe Hart, but got a great shot stopper in Ben Foster, and I think he'll thrive this season with regular football. Sunderland are much like Wigan, and you never know which team's going to turn up. But i think Steve Bruce will have them fired up for today. Sunderland to scrape it 1-0.
Wolves V Stoke 3.00- Wolves did well to stay up last season, but I don't really believe they have strengthened much over the summer, and could struggle. Stoke are a great, solid team thanks to that man in the cap, but there's always that 0-0 game at the end of Match of the day we never bother to watch, and I fear this is it.
Liverpool V Arsenal Sunday 4.00- This is a huge match!, but I can't help but feel it'll be a disappointment. It's early in the season, and both sides will be playing not to lose, rather than playing to win. It'll be tense, but Liverpool will struggle not having Torres firing them in like they're used to, and Arsenal will be impressive as usual, but being away from home will make it tough. There's goals in it, but not many. 1-1.
Manchester United V Newcastle Monday 8.00- United will be high as a kite after beating Chelsea last weekend. I don't mean that in the George Michael sense, but rather a legal, natural high sort of sense. United are still missing quite a number of squad players but with the squad they have it's no excuse should they fail to win. Newcastle will be a much more confident side than they were two seasons ago, last time they were in the Premier League. They'll be determined to hang around after this season and will go for it on Monday. However, I can see United winning this one. Expect some goals though. 4-2 to United.
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