vent blog

hi i write sad poems and talk about my feelings and be vague and gross here

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i vent here

main is @solar-png

nothing on here is gonna be tagged with cw or tw because this is a vent blog you’re getting what you asked for

if you’re gonna be shitty and rude to me you’re immediately getting blocked no ifs ands or buts

feel free to comfort or give advice i appreciate it

that’s all

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missing my dog again.

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i’m getting better!

i say as i open the incognito tab once again.

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i’m scared for my future.

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menopause tomorrow

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maybe i’m a fake. maybe im not fan. maybe im not lightbulb. maybe i dont kin anyone at all. maybe im so complicated and have so many faces to the point where a single character doesnt scream “me”. maybe i cant be represented. maybe. just maybe.

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ok i’m gonna get some sleep and stop complaining gn

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why do i bother posting on here anymore . it doesn’t help. it never does

plus nobody ever sees my feelings

if they do i’m sure they just scroll by. so why must i pour my heart into a cup that no longer exists

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i wish i had a best friend

sure me and my mutuals chat every couple days or so but i really have no one i can randomly talk to . no one to consider home

a lot of my friends have someone closer, and if they don’t, they don’t speak to me in specific

some days i wish it wasn’t like this

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sometimes i hate being autistic. or having ocd. or having add. or whatever i have.

i’m sorry i’m asking you to repeat yourself.

i’m sorry i’m not quick enough.

i’m sorry. i really am

or am i. maybe im just saying that

maybe i really am a monster. maybe i really do mean to be rude

i’ll never know anyways. because of my wrong, dirty and disgusting brain

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she’s losing her eyesight and memory, solar. how fucked up is it that you hate her. you hate her so bad

though i know one day she won’t wake up. and ill cry

i’ll cry and cry and cry

.

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fuck i miss my goddamn dog again

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seriously considering committing. i dont want to live this life anymore. im so sick of it

i’m sick of living with ants.

i’m sick of living in a place where animals can’t even BE animals. they have to conform to HER. wow, a cat is meowing. what a surprise.

i’m sick. i’m sick of being sick

sick sick sick. weird word

the more you say it, the less wordy it sounds. maybe the word “sick” shouldn’t exist. maybe i shouldn’t either. no one would miss me anyways

except for maybe my family. and that’s it

no one on here really cares about me, do they?

no. i thought so.

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sigh. now my moms yelling and complaining at/with my cat. just like she did with tito.

she needs to stop genuinely. i’m sick.

the fact he’s been abused before and (most likely) yelled at/talked to with a stern tone before. atp we shouldn’t have animals

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great now i’m pissed off

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oh how i hate showers.

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knowing my family’s dragging down blindness and dementia frightens me more than you could ever know. i’m going to forget my own name. i’m going to not remember peoples names. and just to make it worse, i won’t be able to see a picture to go off of when i can’t remember a name.

i’m scared. so scared.