ʟɪꜰᴇɪɴᴛʜᴇʙᴀᴄᴋɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ

rickgonzalez. fake.

[solodemi]

i wish today that i could brag to anyone who would listen about how proud i am to be your dad. every day for seven years i’ve done nothing but love you with everything i have, and be thankful that i’m blessed with a daughter as amazing and brilliant as you are. thank you for being as smart, beautiful, and sassy as your mother but with enough of me that i can’t deny you’re mine. feliz cumpleaños mi princesa. i love you always.

[solodemi]

what have you been doing to pass the time? anything new you’ve discovered, or significant events that have unfolded in your life?

candice and i are trying to find balance, and figure things out. which... is only going as fast as it can. so we just enjoy every small moment until we figure all of this out.

if 100 people in your age group were selected randomly, how many do you think they’d find leading a happier life than you?

i have struggles, things i’m fighting against, but i still say not many. 

has any one person ever made you so angry that you couldn’t forgive them?

i will always be angry at my father, because i can’t understand someone not stepping up for their child no matter what is thrown at them.

if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

if things are finally going to just be calm soon.

what’s the fondest memory you have of a person you haven’t talked to in ages?

my best friend growing up lived in a similar situation as me. we both had small families, no money, and no idea what we were going to do. me and him used to walk the streets for enough change until we could grab a couple of drinks and hang out under the bridge. it wasn’t much, but if i could find him i’d repay him for keeping me sane.

what do you attribute the biggest successes in your life to? How about your largest failures?

candice. veronica. my abuelita. the only three people that have ever given me a reason to change my perspective, to be more open to things. i would probably be in a far worse place if not for all three of them collectively. 

what is the worst/funniest thing you have done drunk, but don’t remember doing?

once i stile a $200 stormtrooper costume from a friend only to go caroling in the neighborhood in the middle of april.

the scariest thing you went through this year? tell us the valuable life lesson you learned with it? if you learned…

i got caught with someone, in the middle of something, with someone who shouldn’t have caught us...and i really don’t know what’s going to happen just yet.

[solodemi]

What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down What's going on in that beautiful mind I'm on your magical mystery ride And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

The first time I met you I was stunned by how beautiful you were, you took me by surprise. But how beautiful you are has nothing on everything else that made me fall in love with you. All of that sass in such a small woman, I guess I was doomed from the start. Not just that, you’re smart, creative and passionate. I love watching your face light up when you get excited about something, I love watching you with our daughter, I even love fighting with you because we always find a way to work through it no matter what. 

There’s nothing in this world that I would not do for you or Veronica, and I’m lucky every day that I have both of you in my life. You are the most amazing mother, Ronnie is so much like you and I’m so thankful for that. She has all the attitude her ma has, but all the confidence and brilliance too. I really don’t know what I would do without both of you, and I don’t intend on ever finding out.

I love you more than anything, Candice Kristina Patton. 

[solodemi]

“¡Feliz día del padre!” The words came out of tired lips the second Rick picked up the call from his abuelita, a timely one since he’d just walked into the door of his quiet apartment. She raised him, and therefore she knew everything about him; even that he couldn’t see his daughter as often as he would like and a vague explanation of why. “Did you get to see Veronica and Candice today? Please tell me how they are?” She questioned, her thick New York accent making him miss being there with her, the male almost immediately lost himself in the silence of his hesitation.

He did get to see them today, but like every Father’s Day for the past six years, he’d left feeling a void he hated being unable to fill. The time he spent there, watching films, cooking, coloring and reading books with Veronica; those were the times he was at his happiest. He loved listening to any and every thing his daughter wanted to tell him about. The forty-year-old was adamant to hold himself up to something he’d always told himself: that he would always be there for his children and know everything going on with them, no matter the situation.

Their situation was less than simple, far less. But explaining it to their six-year-old was not feasible—but she knew what was important. That Rick biologically, and in all essential ways, was her father. Even if she had the surname of her mother alone, and the man her mother was married to claimed her as his own, she still knew that above everything else. Which was the only gratifying fact that kept the man from completely losing his mind from the circumstances. That, and a forced boxing routine.

“I went to see them for a while today, they’re both doing great.” He paced around his living room that was dim with only a small table lamp turned on. “Y’ know, Ronnie’s is getting really good in school, she’s great at reading, and she likes her teachers a lot.” He cleared his throat, knowing the next question was coming by the breath his maternal grandmother let out “La extraño. How is Candice? ¿Cuándo vas a casarte? Amo a mi nieta I just want more babies from you two ok?” Immediately he knew the woman that raised him for a large portion of his life heard the audible sigh. 

Rick would have accepted if they were raising Veronica without wanting to be together, and just co-parenting, but want was not the reason they were in this setup. The love he felt for Candice existed long before they found out she was pregnant, but it only amplified over the years of them raising Veronica together; by him seeing how amazing of a mother she was. He’d already confided in his abuela that he wanted to marry her, that it was the only family he wanted, but now it was something she wouldn’t stop bringing up. 

“¿Qué? Don’t say to me that it’s complicated. You love each other so you get married. Es lo que tu madre querría.” Her words, while well intended, were more commanding than advice giving; and any comment about his mother’s wishes generally sent a sharp pain through his chest. She wanted the best for him the same way his mother would if she were still around, and he loved Candice in ways that he didn’t think words or anything else could explain, but that didn’t make telling her father easier. It definitely didn’t make the threat of what he would do upon finding out less real. But it was starting to seem that the truth was coming out soon, and he had no idea what that would mean.

“Chacho,” He sighed, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as he continued to run his shoes along the rug in his hardwood living room. “Did you call me to wish me a happy father’s day or get lecture me about getting married?” He said in a lighter tone, attempting to ease the flow of the discussion. As their conversation went on, full of excuses and debates regarding the changes he needed to make in his life for his family, he stared at the drawing Veronica had given him that he’d placed on his sitting room table when he first got home. As he said his goodnights to the woman he’d lived with his entire life, even when his mother was alive, he took the drawing and placed it under a magnet on a fridge before he crawled himself into bed; already making his plans to go to the boxing gym and work out his frustrations first thing in the morning. 

[packkmybags-blog]

it’s days like today that i wish i could give you the recognition you deserve. that i could just proudly tell the world how much you mean to me and our daughter. especially today, now.

there’s nothing that makes ronnie happier than spending time with her daddy. and there’s nothing that makes me happier than seeing the two of you be able to happily and freely interact with no sort of worry.

so i’m glad we got to spend the day together. and i’m glad you got to take this perfect picture of the two of you, the two most important people in my world. i told you today when you came over, but i’ll tell you again and every single year after this one and forward. happy father’s day to the man who has my entire heart and gave me my greatest love. thank you for being the kindest, most genuine man i’ve ever met. for being an example to our daughter and for giving us unconditional love. even though our situation is complicated.

one day, we’ll have the greatest life together. and i can’t wait for that. i love you always, and so does ronnie. 💙

[extramadness]