What I’m about to share has many, many layers. Many of which will be left out in this brief note. In short, I’m staying home. In a surprise shift, my New Caledonia chapter is coming to a close and I’m thrilled to be calling Frederick and Sol Yoga home again. Some of you know, but for those of you that don’t, here are the ‘cliff notes.’ Sol Yoga was birthed nearly 15 years ago on a serendipitous leap of faith I took. It had a magical childhood and the community grew very naturally. Right around its 9th birthday, in 2014, I stepped away to tend to the 3 children I’d also birthed in those 9 years and the husband that took a job on the other side of the world. I couldn’t fathom ‘selling’ Sol Yoga and letting go of the deep connection to yoga and the community. So, for 6 years, I’ve been commuting 8500 miles a few times a year and running things remotely from far away land in New Caledonia. I could speak of my experience personally, as I often do and am happy to share. My life in French New Caledonia is in many ways a 5-star experience. The luxuries are many. Palm trees, idyllic white beaches, sunshine for months and the most incredible, buttery croissants in the world. My kids have grown up to be barefoot and bi-lingual in these 6 years. It’s all quite beautiful actually. I can speak of my experience from a professional perspective. I’ve been ‘working’ these 6 years. But it has felt like I’ve always had one arm tied behind my back. Making due with the resources I have. Squeezing it in between the priority of mothering and house holding. Leaning hard on the staff at Sol Yoga and commuting 3 flights, 2-3 times a year to feel the pulse of the people I’m serving. I’ve loved the challenge of it. And hated it. I’ve been ‘working’ since I was 9 years old when I started teaching karate and doing the accounting for my dad’s business. I love working. I love feeling purposeful. I love being useful. And while mothering is work, and housekeeping is work and marriage is work, I’ve learned that these are not the kinds of work I’m destined to be devoted to exclusively. My dharma is broader. It has always called me strongly. I can speak of my experience from the perspective of my yoga practice and my personal growth. These 6 years have been a true awakening. Instead of a cave in the Himalayas, I’ve been sitting in deep contemplation on tiny islands. No other period in my life has been more blatantly transformational. Here, the layers are rich, the unpacking not possible in a few sentences. It will be a lifetime of sharing. But the truth, for me, lay in the stillness. “Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that.”― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times And finally, I can speak of my experience from the perspective of the community of Sol Yoga. No community or company goes without turnover and change and yet, so much of Sol has stayed the same for so long. So many of the same faces and spaces for as long as 15 years. And that external stability has meant the world to so many people. Myself included, in these past 6 years. But wait. That’s not the whole truth. The truth is, there is always a swirling of change happening simultaneously. A constant flow of new classes, new volunteers, teachers, staff coming and going. Did you know we’ve opened and closed over seven different locations in our 15 years? And that there is actually only 1 teacher, besides myself, that is still around from Day 1? And of course, every few years, one of our most seasoned, experienced teachers splits off and builds new communities or moves far away. That’s growth. My conclusion then, is that the true stability comes from deep within. It comes from the inspiration that comes from THE PRACTICE. It comes from the connection that is inspired by DOING YOGA. In the same way, my own truth has risen from the depths of stillness, the core of Sol Yoga is within each of YOU. There is always a changing of the many YOU’s that make up Sol. But there is one thing that never changes: the yoga. Yoga helps us connect. And that is why we do it. My first teacher, who was very charismatic and inspiring taught me a big lesson. She reminded me to be wary of getting attached to a the teacher outside. Instead, use the teacher outside to recognize the teacher within. And sure enough, she left me. She abandoned her perch as my yoga teacher and I was devastated. I had not yet learned the lesson. But this is our job at Sol Yoga. To inspire you to connect to your teacher within. As such, when the winds of change blow, you will always have a guide. As the studio owner, I wasn’t sure how it would go ‘without me,’ back in 2013. I was afraid to leave. But, it was fine. We have survived, and grown. The truth is, people come and go. Yoga teachers come and go. Students come and go. And while, I have needed Sol Yoga, it has not needed me. Earning Best Yoga Studio in Frederick for all the years I’ve been gone is a testament to that. That credit goes to the practice of yoga, but also to the incredible (changing and staying-the-same) onsite staff, teachers, volunteer crew and students who show up and do this practice. “Practice and all is coming.” Pattabhi Jois And so, inserting myself back into the schedule and filling up an office space and drinking all the tea feels both like an invasion and a homecoming. I am grateful to be welcomed back with love. I look forward to sharing more with you and continuing to peel back the layers. May we awaken together through the practice of yoga and life.