Tenth Doctor

Private 10th Doctor roleplay blog with rosetylerthvaliantchild/shewandersoff

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Many Kinds of Magic

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“You’re never useless,”

Rose said before she could catch herself. She let out a little laugh, shaking her head. Hopefully that could come off as friendly… Not affectionate?

Were they even friends?

“I mean… Y’know, professor and all that.There’s always a use for you.” She teased, feeling more than a bit silly.

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John’s heart jumped a bit at that. You’re never useless. Why did that make him feel so...warm?

He shook his head, putting on a teasing grin.

“Well I suppose if nothing else I’m always going to be good for sex, huh?” He laughed as he finished the tea. “How do you take it?”

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Many Kinds of Magic

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Rose, too, wished she could stay in bed with him all day. But they couldn’t… And that was maybe the most heartbreaking thing she could think of.

“Um… Sure,” Rose nodded, deciding she’d rather like a cup of tea, especially one made by John. She sat up in his bed, tugging the blanket over her bare, chilly legs.

“Thanks for letting me stay… And for letting me borrow your shirt…”

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If John moved a little slower to make the tea...well, it was early and he was tired.

It certainly had nothing to do with wanting Rose to stay longer.

“Hmmm? Oh, yeah, of course. I’m glad it all helped, i mean...would’ve been pretty useless for me to be here if it hadn’t done any good.”

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Many Kinds of Magic

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“Me too. I don’t get ‘em often, but they’re hell…”

Of course she wanted to stay in John’s bed for the remainder of the day. Or maybe spend the day at his side… But that wasn’t what they were.

They weren’t together.

He had his life, and she had her own. And she’d gotten her crying and cuddling in the night before. Now she would have to be the grown adult she liked to think she was and deal with this on her own.

“I… Best not. I should probably be going… Right?”

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“Hmmmm? Oh. Yeah.”

He was rather disappointed, if he was honest. He’d have been more than happy for her to spend the rest of the day in his bed, letting him coddle her...

But that wasn’t what they were. They weren’t together.

“Yeah, I suppose you should,” he sighed, rolling out of bed. “Let me at least make you some tea before you go.”

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Many Kinds of Magic

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“Alright,” Rose said gently, “Better…”

In reality, she didn’t think she’d ever be able to get past what had happened last night. It was terrifying and unnerving and just all kinds of unpleasant. She never wanted to look Jimmy Stone in the eye again.

But laying here, with John all wrapped around her, made everything better.

She knew she’d have to stop thinking like that. But for the moment, she let herself enjoy it.

“I think… I had nightmares… But they went away.”

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“Yeah?” John said quietly, still playing with her hair. “That’s good. I’m glad the nightmares went away.”

There was no way she’d heard him singing, and that was for the best -- it had been an insanely tender moment, and one that it would be better if she never knew had happened.

Things were already complicated enough between them.

“Do you want some tea? Or food? I can have a house elf bring up breakfast...”

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Many Kinds of Magic

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“Mmm… Yeah,” Rose murmured, finally looking up at John.

It was almost painful how nice this was. She found that she loved being like this with John… Just casually snuggled in bed. It was almost like they were a proper couple, and she could get up, wearing his shirt and make them both a cup of tea.

Bloody hell, where did that come from? They weren’t a couple. They were just having sex… Just because John rescued her didn’t mean they were suddenly a couple.

“Did you sleep well?” She asked, not making a move to leave his arms.

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“Yeah,” John murmured, snuggling Rose a little closer and holding her tight. He really did love this. He loved holding Rose, loved her waking up in his arms, loved how cute she was when she was sleeping...

God damn it.

He needed to get these thoughts out of his head. They weren’t a couple. THey were having sex.

Just sex.

That was it.

“How’re you feeling?”

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Many Kinds of Magic

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And she slept the rest of the night cozy and safe in John’s arms. Her own were locked firmly around him, and her leg had slipped between his sometime in the night. She had never felt more safe, or content.

It almost wasn’t worth breaking it when she felt herself waking.

“’Mornin’” She finally murmured, directly into John’s chest.

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“Morning,” John mumbled with a small smile, brushing her hair back from her face and smiling down at her.

“Sleep well?”

He had to admit, he was rather tired himself, but he wouldn’t let Rose know that. He had been more than happy to stay awake and watch over her.

He loved her after all.

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Many Kinds of Magic

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Her fingers would themselves in John’s shirt as he gripped her tighter. Even though she was asleep, she could feel his larger self curling around her, keeping her safe.

He could protect her… Couldn’t he?

Eventually,his singing calmed her, even though she never properly woke. Her were shut tight as her fingers loosened in his shirt… And she fell slack in his arms once more, the tension lifting.

The nightmares leaving her.

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John stayed curled protectively around Rose the entire night. He didn’t sleep. Why would he? He could sleep tomorrow.

When he was sure Rose had slept through the night and was okay.

On the plus side, he did have a nice view of the sun coming up over the lake. He smiled just a bit as he watched before looking down to see something even more beautiful.

Rose Tyler sleeping peacefully in his arms.

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Many Kinds of Magic

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John laid awake for a few hours, just watching her sleep. He wasn’t sure if he expected nightmares – he wouldn’t be surprised though, and he was going to be awake and alert when it happened.

He squeezed the fingers she had laced through his, snuggling a bit closer to make sure she was nice and secure, releasing her only to fix the blankets when they slipped.

He would hold her all night if it meant shielding her from the nightmares.

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A few hours later, Rose shifted. She often had vivid dreams, but nightmares were few and far between. Still, tonight, after what had happened, she couldn’t shake the possibilities from her mind. What could have happened if John never found her?

So her dreams began to peppered with images of Jimmy slamming her against the wall, ripping off of clothes and stuffing his fingers in her mouth so she couldn’t scream. Or his fingers curling painfully around her beneath her skirt, shoving them inside her despite Rose’s tears because she was painfully dry. Of forcing her down on her knees so he could…

Rose whimpered in her sleep, shifting around to face John. She pressed her face into his chest, her arms winding around him.

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John wasn’t sure if holding her tighter would actually help, but he had to try.

So when she turned into him he all but wrapped around her, curling up around her small, shaking body, one hand moving to brush through her hair as he held her as tight as he could.

And, for lack of anything else to do, he began singing, hoping the pleasant sounds would permeate her dreams and calm them.

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Many Kinds of Magic

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John was rather surprised when she turned away. He hesitated, watching her for a long moment, before carefully shifting closer, sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her against his chest.

“Good night, Rose,” he said quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Sleep well.”

I love you.

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That was all she wanted, honestly, and Rose visibly relaxed as John snuggled up behind her. Not for the first time, she was amazed by how easily they fit together. She closed her eyes, letting one of her hands lace through his fingers.

“You too,” She murmured gently, pulling him impossibly closer, and closing her eyes, “And… Thank you,”

I love you too.

Amazingly enough, she fell asleep soon after, safe in his arms.

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John laid awake for a few hours, just watching her sleep. He wasn’t sure if he expected nightmares -- he wouldn’t be surprised though, and he was going to be awake and alert when it happened.

He squeezed the fingers she had laced through his, snuggling a bit closer to make sure she was nice and secure, releasing her only to fix the blankets when they slipped.

He would hold her all night if it meant shielding her from the nightmares.

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Many Kinds of Magic

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“Oh!”

Well, if she was okay with it then it was okay, right? They could share a bed…like a couple….

They were not a couple.

“Yes, yes, of course, I mean…we’re both adults…of course,” he babbled. “Let me just…”

Back to his wardrobe he went, this time to change into his own pajamas – a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He returned a few moments later, crawling uncertainly into bed.

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Rose felt more than a little put off by his reaction. Did he really not want to share a bed with her? Was that too far…?

And so, she was self conscious as he climbed into bed with her. And even though all she really wanted was to be held… She shifted, her back facing him to hide her bright red cheeks and the tears threatening her eyes.

“…Good night, John.”

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John was rather surprised when she turned away. He hesitated, watching her for a long moment, before carefully shifting closer, sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her against his chest.

“Good night, Rose,” he said quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Sleep well.”

I love you.

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Many Kinds of Magic

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“Yeah, yeah, ‘course. So uh…um….”

He wasn’t sure how sleeping arrangements were going to work. Surely Rose wouldn’t want a man crowding into bed with her mere hours after being assault. And anyways they weren’t….they didn’t share a bed. They cuddled a little and then it was over.

Sharing a bed was…something else.

“I can…sleep on the floor, if you’d like?”

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“Oh.”

The whole point of her staying with him was so she wouldn’t be alone. She didn’t want to sleep alone tonight, in fact the thought kind of terrified her. What she wanted was for him to hold her.

To keep her safe.

Even if this wasn’t what they were… Couldn’t he pretend?

“I thought… I mean, well, I thought we would both be sleeping in the bed.”

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“Oh!”

Well, if she was okay with it then it was okay, right? They could share a bed...like a couple....

They were not a couple.

“Yes, yes, of course, I mean...we’re both adults...of course,” he babbled. “Let me just...”

Back to his wardrobe he went, this time to change into his own pajamas -- a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He returned a few moments later, crawling uncertainly into bed.

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Many Kinds of Magic

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“Sure. Um…l-lemme get you something else to wear.”

He was sure she wouldn’t want to sleep in her school uniform all night, after all. He gave her a quick squeeze before crawling out of bed and going to his wardrobe. He hadn’t brought too many of his Muggle clothes with him, seeing no point in it, but he managed to find a large t-shirt that would easily cover Rose’s body, returning to her with it.

“I-I know it’s not much, but I figured something a little more comfortable maybe….”

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“Oh… Okay.”

Honestly, Rose wasn’t even thinking that far ahead. She hadn’t even realized that she might need something to sleep in. Luckily tomorrow was Saturday, and she wouldn’t need to race to class…

God, she didn’t want to think about any of that, though.

“Thanks,” She murmured, as John gave her his shirt. With very little shame, she stood on shaking legs and removed her uniform, folding it neatly on the bedside table. Her bra was off, stuffed beneath her sweatervest, as she pulled the shirt over her head.

“That’s much better.” She said softly, as she climbed back into John’s bed.

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“Yeah, yeah, ‘course. So uh...um....”

He wasn’t sure how sleeping arrangements were going to work. Surely Rose wouldn’t want a man crowding into bed with her mere hours after being assault. And anyways they weren’t....they didn’t share a bed. They cuddled a little and then it was over.

Sharing a bed was...something else.

“I can...sleep on the floor, if you’d like?”

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Many Kinds of Magic

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Oh god.

John hesitated, unsure. He couldn’t stand the idea of sending Rose back to Gryffindor Tower, to face her fellow students, when she was this distraught and upset. He would have been more than happy to keep her here, safe, wrapped in his arms, forever.

But was this a good idea? Never mind that they ran the risk of getting caught, this was not an emotional thing. They were just…sex. That’s all their relationship involved.

Not emotions.

“Okay,” he said finally, hugging her tighter. “You can stay. Of course.”

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Rose knew it was a foolish question to ask, and she was fully prepared for the answer to be no. She and John weren’t dating, they weren’t together… He wasn’t her boyfriend (the word even seemed ridiculous to attribute to a grown man like him). Their relationship was all about sex – And minimal cuddling…

But she needed his comfort tonight. And she couldn’t imagine being alone right now.

She couldn’t imagine being without him right now.

Still, she was honestly shocked when he agreed.

“Thank you…” She breathed, burrowing closer to him, “Thank you so much…”

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“Sure. Um...l-lemme get you something else to wear.”

He was sure she wouldn’t want to sleep in her school uniform all night, after all. He gave her a quick squeeze before crawling out of bed and going to his wardrobe. He hadn’t brought too many of his Muggle clothes with him, seeing no point in it, but he managed to find a large t-shirt that would easily cover Rose’s body, returning to her with it.

“I-I know it’s not much, but I figured something a little more comfortable maybe....”

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Many Kinds of Magic

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The tears killed any erection John might’ve had, and he without hesitation pulled Rose back into his arms, hugging her tight enough that he was sure he would cut off air.

But if she didn’t complain, he didn’t care.

“I don’t know either,” he said quietly. “But I think…letting me hold you, just like this…without it being sexual, without touching…is a good start.”

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Bundled up safely in his arms, Rose wound her own around his neck, clinging to him like she might die if she had to be separated. Her head pillowed against his collarbone, her tears soaked into her shirt as he tried to get her tears under control.

How could he want her ever again if she was going to behave like a child?

“Okay…” She whispered, unable to argue with him. Rose was quiet for a long few moments, before speaking up again.

“Can I… Stay the night… Please?”

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Oh god.

John hesitated, unsure. He couldn’t stand the idea of sending Rose back to Gryffindor Tower, to face her fellow students, when she was this distraught and upset. He would have been more than happy to keep her here, safe, wrapped in his arms, forever.

But was this a good idea? Never mind that they ran the risk of getting caught, this was not an emotional thing. They were just...sex. That’s all their relationship involved.

Not emotions.

“Okay,” he said finally, hugging her tighter. “You can stay. Of course.”

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Many Kinds of Magic

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“Of course I want to!”

This was exactly what he had been afraid of. He blew out a long breath, carefully taking her face between his hands again.

“There’s nothing that could happen that could stop from wanting….you.” It wasn’t just about sex, no matter how much he lied to himself. “From wanting to be with you. But I’m not a coping mechanism Rose. Something horrible happened tonight, and using it…using sex…to avoid it isn’t going to help you.”

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He had a point…As much as she refused to admit it. Sex with John shouldn’t be a coping mechanism, and no amount of gentle touches and soft kisses were going to erase the fact that someone had tried to take something integral from her without her permission.

And she couldn’t pressure John. She wouldn’t be like Jimmy.

“I… I know.” She whispered, tears finally flowing freely from her eyes, “i… I’m sorry. I just… Don’t know what else to do…”

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The tears killed any erection John might’ve had, and he without hesitation pulled Rose back into his arms, hugging her tight enough that he was sure he would cut off air.

But if she didn’t complain, he didn’t care.

“I don’t know either,” he said quietly. “But I think...letting me hold you, just like this...without it being sexual, without touching...is a good start.”

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Many Kinds of Magic

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“No, you don’t,” John said as firmly as he could manage, shifting just slightly so she wouldn’t feel that he was suddenly hard.

He couldn’t help it. Hearing her beg for him, no matter what the situation, having her this close…

She had an awful effect on him.

“It’s not a good idea.”

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“Why?”

Rose demanded, her fingers suddenly gripping his shirt. Couldn’t he see how badly she needed this? Couldn’t he see that she just wanted the pain to go away?

“Why won’t you touch me? Why isn’t it a good idea…?”

Was this about Jimmy? Was he disgusted by her?

“…Do you not… Want to anymore?”

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“Of course I want to!”

This was exactly what he had been afraid of. He blew out a long breath, carefully taking her face between his hands again.

“There’s nothing that could happen that could stop from wanting....you.” It wasn’t just about sex, no matter how much he lied to himself. “From wanting to be with you. But I’m not a coping mechanism Rose. Something horrible happened tonight, and using it...using sex...to avoid it isn’t going to help you.”

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John frowned before pulling his hand away.

“Rose, I don’t think this is a good idea…” he said quietly. Using sex – even if it was just getting off on his fingers – wasn’t going to do her any good.

She was going to need to deal with this sooner or later. John didn’t want to contribute to her avoidance.

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The little whine Rose made when John pulled his hand away was nothing short of pathetic. She wanted this, she wanted to feel his gentle touch to get rid of thoughts of Jimmy’s.

She needed him.

“Why not…?” She murmured, shifting around so she was facing him, “Please John, I… I need it.”

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“No, you don’t,” John said as firmly as he could manage, shifting just slightly so she wouldn’t feel that he was suddenly hard.

He couldn’t help it. Hearing her beg for him, no matter what the situation, having her this close...

She had an awful effect on him.

“It’s not a good idea.”