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@soontobeperfect
9/25/2017 Ā 6:50PM
Who am I kidding? why do I apply oils to help my scars heal? I just end up doing it all over again. As the old ones fade, new ones always appear.
I hide them from people, but when Iām naked itās a reminder that Iām one more cut away from numbing my emotions.
Either way, they're never gonna go away; I can still see my scars from 4 years ago. Even back then, things weren't as shitty
9/24/2017 Ā 10:00 AM
I bought some herb scissors, and when I saw how well they worked with cilantro, I just...pictured them on my skin.
four sharp blades. four deep cuts. four times the pain.
9/23/2017 Ā 2:29PM
Iāve prayed to you so many times.
why wonāt you hear me?
take me away, you don't have to take me with you; just don't leave me here.
I probably deserve all this suffering, but I don't want it anymore.
You took the only person that loved me; how can I keep on going without her?
My heart literally hurts, sometimes I wonder if itās a mini heart attack; but iām still alive...
9/23/2017 Ā 1:45 PM
So many ways. So many times. Why canāt I just do it?Ā
Iām tired of everything, and everyone is tired of me.
I see my body at the end of a hole. Forgotten. unloved.
Thatās all I deserve.
That's all I ever get.
My heart hurts
9/12/2017 Ā 9:08AM
Life if shitty. IDK if itās emotional pain or if I'm actually experiencing a mini heart attack. Sometimes I just want to burst out crying, but then I remember that I have to keep faking a smile.Ā
*uses lol lmao and rip as punctuation*
Iām back.
I donāt even know how to start this.
My depression never left, but it was lighter than usual. But I feel itās getting as bad as it was, and Iām back to this account from college (or maybe from high school).
IDK if iāll ever be fully free from depression, but in all honesty IDK who I would be without it...
So I decided to use my tumblr as a diary, because I need to get these feelings out.
This might be #triggering, so stay away if you're on route to being better.
Why is mentally falling apart not a good enough āexcuseā to stay home from school? I canāt focus, I want to die, sorry I donāt want to learn calculus right now.
āļø on We Heart It.
