I'm Sophcaro, a French girl and a WMatsui shipper. Avid reader, I enjoy writing fictions during my free time. This tumblr is dedicated to my WMatsui fanfics. If you like my stories, don't hesitate to fuel my motivation with positive feedback. I also love to chat with people who share the same common interest, so don't be shy and say hi! I speak French, English and Spanish.
Most of you realised I haven't updated in 6 months, which is unusual for me.
I've been going through a rough patch in my life since last September, preventing me from writing.
I waited a long to write such a message, in the hope things would get better & I would soon be in capacity to resume my stories. Please know I love both Back in Time & Warriors with all my heart. I do intend to give them an ending at some point in the future. However, I find it wiser to put them both in pause, until I'm in full capacity to render those characters justice and give them the level of care & love they deserve.
Jurina convinced herself she stood in front of the bar to relieve the stress of her hectic day. Staring at the red neon letters above the door, Acceptance, she glanced back towards the darkening street. Salary men and women left office buildings, going back home after work. Strutting around dressed up to the nines in their black uniforms, some joined the subway, while others waited for their bus. Whether listening to music coming from their headphones, or their gaze riveted to their phone. Nothing on their face let transpire the frenetic pace of life in Tokyo.
Ya había pasado un mes desde que Rena vio por última vez a Jurina - la Matsui mayor tenía trabajo que hacer en Tokyo con Nogizaka46 durante agosto - y ella estaba absolutamente convencida de que la comida que había preparado para su regreso satisfacería a Jurina inmensamente. Después de todo, era carne picada y espaguetis; su favorita. Sin embargo, la joven apenas había dicho palabra alguna desde que entró en su apartamento hace media hora, y ahora estaba jugando con su comida distraídamente.
Warriors | WMatsui - Capítulo 29 (Traducción al español)
Jurina abrió los ojos, relajada mucho más allá de cualquier sentimiento que hubiera conocido. Una opaca luz matutina penetraba a través de la puerta fusuma; apenas era el amanecer. Jurina inclinó su cabeza hacia su izquierda, y observó a la hermosa mujer recostada desnuda junto a ella. Su protectora estaba sobre su espalda, ojos cerrados, su pecho lentamente subiendo y bajando, su respiración estable al estar durmiendo apaciblemente.
Jurina peeled her eyes open, relaxed beyond any feeling she had ever known. A dim morning light penetrated through the outdoor fusuma; it was barely sunrise. Jurina tilted her head to her left, and observed the beautiful woman lying naked beside her. Her protector was on her back, eyes closed, her chest slowly rising and falling, her breathing steady as she was peacefully asleep.
The bedcover rested over her chest, covering her breasts but tantalizing her with a peek of naked flesh. Her long dark hair spilled over the pillow and her face, contrasting sharply with her pale face. Jurina was unable to look away, her thoughts and emotions in a jumble. She had longed to touch and possess her body more intimately, and last night, it became reality. Pride and satisfaction swelled in her at the accomplishment, but at the same time, she felt a twinge of vulnerability.
She had laid with a few women in the past, but never had she experienced what transpired between them.
Her protector brought out of her a softer side that she didn’t often expose. How come her protector had such an influence on her? Long gone were her initial feelings of distrust and animosity towards her. As days turned into weeks and transformed into months, she felt more and more irresistibly drawn to one who had been assigned as her protector. At first, she believed it was merely physical attraction, before realizing she was in the wrong. There was something else between them she had difficulty describing.
Her protector moaned in her sleep and turned to the other side, the bedcover sliding down to her waist. She wanted to run her fingers over the smooth expanse of skin showing. By the subtle change in her breathing, Jurina could tell she was slowly awakening. She edged closer on the futon. She slipped her hand beneath the covers, wrapping her arm around her midriff. For an instant, her protector’s body tensed and she thought she’d pull away. Then she felt her ease up. Holding her, she buried her nose in her hair and drew in a breath, filling her lungs with the sweet scent of her. Her body felt soft and engaging against her. She had to fight the urge to tighten her hold even more.
Jurina’s heart pounded. The impact her protector had on her didn’t only make her vulnerable: it also destabilized her. This was such unknown territory for her.
She leaned forward and took a small nip of her exposed neck, testing the waters. As she didn’t receive any resistance to her ministrations, she grew bolder. Her hand explored her protector’s ribs, her stomach, rediscovering every inch of her smooth skin. The sweet whimpers she received in response ignited another spike of desire within her. She moved her hand across the bottom boundaries of her breasts, and contemplated her next move, wavering between conflicted feelings. Could she afford to let loose of her overwhelming need to possess her again, or should she better control her ardor?
“Maybe I should stop,” she whispered in her ear - trying to sound confident - but already regretting her words.
Her protector turned halfway around in her embrace. Whether she caught the uncertainty of her voice, she didn’t say. Her protector’s gaze was riveted on her face, studying her intently, and she cupped her chin between her fingers. She brought her mouth close to hers, and gently kissed her. The feather-like touch of her lips sent her aflame, more persuasive than she cared to admit. Jurina’s gaze bore into her in expectation, eager to reclaim them.
“I…” After what seemed a moment’s hesitation, her protector kissed her again, more deeply. Her eyes were no longer weary with sleep, the light of desire illuminating her dark brown orbs. “No, I don’t want you to stop.”
Jurina’s eyes gleamed, sparkling with heat. Her mouth swooped down to capture hers, and they shared another kiss, full of passion. She smothered her lips with demanding mastery, her protector’s lips parted. Her tongue slipped inside, teasing, tasting, exploring. When she withdrew her mouth from hers, she stared in her smoldering eyes for a beat. Her protector gave her a heavy look of lust that sent her pulses racing.
Jurina moved her hair to one side and placed a few lush kisses down her neck, starting behind her ear and moving down her shoulder. Her protector attempted to turn around completely to face her, but Jurina wouldn’t allow it. Despite her protector’s confusion, she gently but firmly made her regain her previous position and pressed her front to her back, trapping her body in another embrace.
She nibbled playfully on her earlobe, eliciting another lewd sound, while her right hand roamed intimately over her breasts. Her protector tilted her head in her direction, and Jurina joined her mid-way, pressing her lips to her. Her hand continued to move on her breasts, expertly massaging, stimulating them. By the way her nipples quickly firmed under her touch, she realized her protector was particularly excited.
Removing her hand from her chest, she pulled the bedcover down. Her hand explored the soft lines of her waist, her hip, and traveled down between her thighs. Her protector shuddered in anticipation, and she didn’t wait. This morning, her instincts were telling her there was no use to take things slowly. She parted her legs slightly, and dipped a finger between the pink folds. When she felt how wet and hot she was, Jurina’s heart gave a wide lurch and arousal pulsed through her veins.
She eased a finger inside, her vision narrowing when her protector let out a moan and rocked against her hand. Slipping a second finger inside her, she placed her thumb against her clit and stroked lightly. She circled the hard little nub before pressing on it. As more wetness flowed from her protector’s body, she pushed her fingers deeper, moving them in and out at a steady rhythm.
Her protector was panting, little gusts of breath that let her know she was enjoying it. She squeezed her clit harder, before pressing her thumb against the bundle of nerves and plunging her fingers deep inside her. Her protector had gripped the bedsheet, her lips trying hard to suppress another moan. She continued to stroke her and increased the pressure and speed of her fingers, knowing she was close. By every minute, Jurina found it harder to ignore her own aching burn growing stronger in the pit of her stomach.
At last, she clenched on her fingers, the tight ring of muscles vibrating with an intense orgasm. Jurina pushed deeper inside her, flicking her thumbnail over her clit at the same time. Arching her body against her hand, her protector buried her face in the pillow to muffle a scream as she pulsed against her fingers, and crashed over the edge of ecstasy a second time. As she whimpered softly and went limp in her arms, Jurina let her ride out the waves of pleasure, before slowly extricating her fingers from her.
Jurina’s body throbbed with pent up lust, her climax on the verge. Opening her legs, she reached for her nether regions to touch herself, swimming in desperate and building urgency. Her protector turned around, catching her in the act. She looked at her with half-lidded eyes, lips red and swollen and curled into a small smile. Jurina didn’t have time to proceed, that she had gently removed her hand and replaced it with her own. She didn’t show hesitation as she slid a finger into the moist warmth between her thighs, and into the slick folds of flesh. Jurina shut her eyes close and let out a low, feral growl, rocking her hips as the pleasure coiled tight in her belly.
Her protector pumped her finger in and out of her, the slow pace driving her to the brink of insanity. Jurina wrapped her hand around her wrist, urging her to move her finger quicker in her. Understanding the message conveyed, she moved faster. Stimulating all the right places, she added a second digit. Blissful pleasure built and tightened all Jurina’s muscles until she thought she’d burst. She couldn’t deny her body its sweet release any longer. A few more thrusts were all she needed to convulse around her. Her body spasmed; electric thrills washed through her as she felt wave after wave assault her senses.
For a moment, she drifted, glowing with the aftermath, listening to her frantically beating heart. After a little while, the futon shifted beside her, and Jurina felt a pair of lips on hers. They laid side to side, sharing lazy kisses and slow caresses. Rather than being awkward, Jurina felt at ease with the simplicity of the intimacy shared, welcoming it when her protector rested her head on her shoulder. Jurina felt her own breathing slowing, calm in a way she’d not known in a long time, if ever. Her eyelids again felt heavy. She heard her protector falling asleep and she couldn’t resist joining her, letting her head fall against her in her last stream of consciousness.
**********
“Rena-san, are you here?”
The soft knocking on the door woke Jurina from her sleep. She immediately recognized the voice, even through the haze of slumber. Kashiwagi-san. She let out a groan. First, she had gotten her claws on her innocent sister. Now, she messed up with her precious private time with her protector. Why did that woman had to intrude in every aspect of her life? She forced her eyes open, only to throw her arm over her eyes at the bright light inundating the bedroom. She stole a peek at her protector; she hadn’t moved an inch, visibly still absorbed in a heavy slumber. Right now, Jurina was seriously considering mimicking her and ignoring the distraction.
A second, more insistent, knock told her otherwise.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, but it’s already late and…” Yuki’s voice trailed away, filled with uncertainty.
Jurina couldn’t take it any longer; she shoved the bedcover aside and took a seat on the futon, facing the door. Through the fusuma, she distinguished the feminine silhouette of the woman who had dared disturb her peaceful sleep. Maybe if she didn’t answer, she would give up and walk away? That could work, right?
“Y-Yuki-san?” Behind her back, her protector’s sleepy mumble reached her. “Did I hear Yuki-san knocking at the door?”
Jurina wanted so badly to reply that it was the fruit of her imagination, but a little voice inside her head told her it wouldn’t be right to lie.
“That woman is something.” Jurina gritted between her teeth. Resolute, she stood up, not bothering to put clothes on, and padded bare feet to the front door.
“What?!” She asked, after she swung the door open.
“Oh, W-Watanabe-san…”
The kyudo instructor’s mouth dropped, stupor written all over her face. Despite Jurina’s annoyance at her presence, a sparkle of amusement flashed through her eyes. The woman facing her was forcing herself to keep her gaze at an appropriate level, and not look down at her nakedness.
“So, what do you want?” Jurina placed her hand on the doorjamb and stared at her, irritation gripping her once more. “We were sleeping, so you better have a good reason for disturbing us.”
“I apologize for waking you up, but the trainees were worried,” Yuki stammered. Noticing Jurina’s confusion, she quickly continued. “The kenjutsu lesson. When Rena-san didn’t show up in the dojo, a few trainees got concerned by her absence, and wondered if the lesson had been cancelled. I wasn’t aware of any other obligation Rena-san had to attend this morning, so I feared she might be unwell.”
“No, she’s fine. Let the others know she’ll arrive when she’s ready.” Jurina gave a nonchalant wave of her hand. “Goodbye, Kashiwagi-san.”
Jurina shut the door close, and returned to the futon. She laid down, well decided to put that brief encounter at the back of her head and sleep, only to witness her protector’s shocked expression. “That woman has no shame.” She pretended to not notice it and made herself comfortable again, pulling the cover up her body. “Disturbing us for nothing.”
“N-nothing? I’m late for my lesson!” Rena shot up and out of the futon, rushing to take her clothes. “How could that happen?” She almost tripped as she slipped into her hakama, her fingers fumbling with the belt. “I can’t even imagine what Yuki-san must think of me.” She murmured, horrified. “And she saw you naked! How could you answer to the door in such an undressed state?!”
“Don’t worry, she didn’t look.” Jurina shrugged it off. “And the trainees can wait. It’s not as if the lesson can start without you.” She added, proud of her joke. The stern look she received in return told her she didn’t share her sense of humor.
“You better get up and dress up to join the lesson.”
Jurina fell pensive, watching as her protector finished tying her hakama, and picked up her kimono from the chair. “Wouldn’t it look suspicious if we both arrived at the same time?” Her mouth crooked into a smirk. “What will the other trainees think?”
As realization dawned, the kenjutsu instructor went pale. “A-Alright, you may arrive a bit late.” Her fingers worked clumsily on closing her kimono, as she tried to compose herself. “But don’t take too long. It would be improper if you missed the lesson.”
“Why not?” Jurina propped herself on her elbow, not caring if the bedcover slid down her waist. “I have my own private lessons.” Her smile widened. “They are far enough.”
Another long, silent disapproving stare.
“Fine, I’ll arrive after you.” Jurina sighed in a laid back, almost nonchalant way. When she noticed the way her protector’s gaze traveled down the length of her body from her face, over her exposed breasts, her eyebrows arched mischievously. “You’re sure you don’t want to come back to bed?” Jurina peeled back the bedcover, and held it back in invitation. “You still look sleepy to me. You should rest a little longer.”
Her protector gave her a knowing look. “Something is telling me we don’t have the same definition of rest.”
“Probably not,” Jurina grinned unapologetically.
Her protector shook her head with an amused smile. She marched straight towards the front door and paused, glancing over her shoulder. Jurina watched her attentively, sensing by the way her mouth opened and closed a few times that she wished to add something. “I don’t regret it,” she said at last, softly but seriously. “I’ll expect you in the dojo. Please don’t take too long, Jurina.”
Jurina was caught off guard, and followed her retreating form as she slowly exited the bedroom, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Jurina. For the first time, she had spoken to her without using any honorifics. Her face split into a wide smile; an odd, warm sensation fluttered through her chest. Jurina groaned, and buried her face into the pillow. Her reaction was silly and childish. It was only a trivial thing. So why did it fill her with such strange happiness?
Warriors | WMatsui - Capítulo 28 (Traducción al español)
Un largo y feliz suspiro escapó de los labios de Mayu mientras disfrutaba de un descanso bajo la sombra de las grandes ramas de un árbol de arce. Desde su posición en la cima de la colina, tenía una vista privilegiada sobre las tierras del clan Shinoda. La residencia de la cabeza del clan. Los cuarteles privados de los samuráis. Los establos que retenían a más de doscientos caballos de cada color y tipo: negros, blancos, grises, castaños, roanos y bayos; caballos de carga, de guerra y de equitación. Los templos budistas, lugares principales de oración. El cementerio, donde las personas iban a llorar a los que perdieron, muchos soldados cayeron durante la última gran guerra. Pero también, las pequeñas casas, tabernas y centros mercantiles, que se extendían por el valle hasta donde la mirada podía llegar.
A long, blissful sigh escaped Mayu’s lips as she enjoyed a rest under the shade of the large branches of a maple tree. From her position at the top of the hill, she had a privileged view over the main grounds of the Shinoda clan. The head of the clan’s main residence. The samurais’ private quarters. The stables held over two hundred of horses of every color and kind: black, white, grey, chestnut, roan and bay; packhorses, workhorses and riding horses. The Buddhist temples, central places of prayer. The cemetery, where people came to mourn their lost ones, often soldiers fallen during the last great war. But also, the small houses, taverns and trading centers, that stretched in the valley as far as the eye could see.
The movement, the hustle bustle, the energy. It reminded her of her childhood. Of how the Watanabe clan used to be when it stood proudly as one of the leading authorities of the country.
The remembrance of her lost heritage made Mayu a touch melancholy, but she pushed it firmly to the back of her mind. She was content living here. Every passing day, she was grateful Shinoda-san had accepted to let them stay. At last, they were off the roads, filled with disreputable individuals ready to rob them of their scarce resources. Mayu felt safe within these walls, and wasn’t afraid to call it her new home.
She had settled into what proved an idyllic life, with only one cloud on her horizon. Her sister, Jurina, who had difficulty adjusting to their new day-to-day routine. Maybe it was her optimistic side speaking, but Mayu wished to remain positive. Believe she would come to appreciate this second chance life gave them.
The maple forest had become a sea of reds, oranges and yellows. The grass swayed in the autumn breeze, the sun bathing the foliage and flowers in its golden rays. Gone was the scorching heat of Summer. Mayu found the current temperate, neither hot or cold, pleasant. She had heard that, in this northern region, Winter could prove to be ruthless. Some years, inhabitants had even witnessed lakes freeze. The sole idea made her shiver, and she hoped her thick kimono would be enough to keep her warm. She had spent all her childhood in the South of Japan, where the Watanabe clan used to be located. Only recently, she and her sister had begun to travel norther.
Never before had she had the chance to witness lands covered with the white substance people called snow. The prospect made her secretly excited.
Mayu’s eyes fluttered close. Relaxed, her body felt heavier. She wasn’t particularly tired, but the atmosphere was serene. She drifted away. Without warning, a certain kiss came back to the forefront of her mind, and she was wide awake. Her heart leaped. She raised her hand to her lips; they quivered slightly at the touch. A shy but happy smile broke out across her face. The memory of the soft and warm kiss she had shared with the kyudo instructor was vivid and sharp.
There were gaps in her memory concerning that particular evening, and she blamed it on the excessive use of alcohol. She had always been a light drinker, and she couldn’t explain why she had gotten carried away. Despite her mind fuzzy about the course of events, she didn’t imagine the kiss. She had a hard time believing it happened. For months, her attraction for Kashiwagi-san grew, but she hesitated to make the first move.
What if her protector was gentle and caring out of duty? Mayu had seen a couple of signs suggesting a mutual romantic interest. The personal attention, the lingering eye contact, the physical proximity. And what about the evening Jurina had left the bedroom in a haste after a violent nightmare, and Kashiwagi-san, witnessing Mayu’s disarray, had invited her to her room and provided her comfort?
As days transformed into weeks, and weeks became months, the protégée and her protector grew closer than ever. Their relationship didn’t progress as much as Mayu secretly hoped, but she didn’t want either to take the risk of overstepping boundaries. What if Kashiwagi-san held herself for the same reasons, and believed a romantic relationship between them was inappropriate? The kiss, reciprocated, had put an end to any remaining doubt, and filled Mayu’s heart with happiness.
At the crackling sound of leaves and twigs stepped upon, Mayu pulled out of her reverie. Her eyelids peeled open, finding Jurina standing in front of her. Mayu blinked, coming back to reality. Her sister’s delight caught her attention. “I see some habits don’t change.”
Mayu readjusted her seated position, flustered to have been so lost in her thoughts she didn’t hear someone approach. “What do you mean?”
“It reminds me of when we were little. How often would I find you napping under a cherry tree?”
“You mean…” Mayu continued, in a slight humorous tone. “You mean when you escaped your bodyguard’s attention and explored the lands of our clan, disappearing for hours, sometimes even until sundown?”
Jurina slumped down beside her, and rested her back against the tree. “It’s not my fault if they were too slow to catch up.”
Mayu let out a small chuckle. “I’ll always remember Father’s fury when the bodyguard confessed having lost you. How many times did he change your bodyguard? Four? Five?”
“I have no idea.” Jurina shrugged her shoulders, grinning. “It never made a difference anyway.”
Mayu laughed openly. A comfortable silence fell over them, during which both enjoyed the view and each other’s presence. Once in a while, Mayu would steal a peek at Jurina when she wasn’t paying attention. She felt so lucky to have her by her side. They had endured so many hardships. The murder of their father. The downfall of their clan. Years of restless wandering. Life at the Shinoda clan was a fresh start; an opportunity to put their painful past behind.
“Why don’t you join Rena-san’s lessons? You haven’t come to the dojo. You need to learn kenjutsu.”
Mayu shifted uneasily. “Thank you, but… I’m fine with kyudo. It suits me more.”
An awkward silence followed.
“You’re spending way too much time with Kashiwagi-san. You follow her everywhere. You barely leave her side all day.”
“What are you talking about?” Mayu asked, taken aback by her manifest disapproval.
“I’m not blind,” Jurina rolled her eyes at her. “You get that dreamy expression when you interact with her. You have a crush. I hope you’re not making yourself false illusions about your relationship.”
“W-We kissed,” Mayu blurted out.
Jurina’s mouth dropped open. “What? When?!”
Mayu hesitated. “The other day, after the dinner organized by Shinoda-dono. Kashiwagi-san offered to accompany back to my room, and we ki-”
“Did she take advantage of you?!”
“W-What? No… Kashiwagi-san is not like tha-”
“I knew I couldn’t trust her!” Jurina abruptly stood up. “I warned her to not play with your feelings but she seized the opportunity as soon as she saw one! She used you during a moment of weakness! What else did she do to you?! Tell me! You have to tell me everything!”
Her outburst rendered Mayu speechless.
“Do you even remember what happened that evening?!” Jurina asked, in a slightly mocking tone. “No, of course you don’t. Let me refresh your memory. Hasegawa-san harassed you the whole evening. He made you drink again and again, and you were too nice and polite to refuse. I had no choice but to intervene to make him stop! I wouldn’t be shocked if you were half drunk when Kashiwagi-san walked you back to your room. Your beloved protector didn’t lift a finger to help you!”
Mayu was baffled by Jurina’s fury. Processing the information revealed, she put the missing pieces of the puzzle back together. Little by little, her memory of that evening became much clearer. “Kashiwagi-san couldn’t say anything! It would have caused an incident!”
“Tss. What a silly excuse,” Jurina huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “She was too much of a coward to act, and I was forced to step up.”
“Yes, and it could have gotten yourself killed! And what do you mean by you ‘warned her to not play’ with my feelings?”
“Exactly as I said,” Jurina spoke with confidence. “I had a clear conversation with her on the subject. I won’t let anyone toy with you.”
Mayu didn’t like arguing with her. Conflicts left her emotionally and mentally drained. But this was too much. She couldn’t accept nor condone what she had dared to do behind her back. “I can’t believe you did that!” Mayu sprang to her feet, anger bubbling within her. “How could you? You had no right!”
If Jurina was shocked by her raised tone, she didn’t let it show. “You’re my sister, and it’s my role to protect you. I don’t trust Kashiwagi-san. I never did. Even less after her behavior during dinner.”
“You don’t know her like I do. Kashiwagi-san is a good person!”
“You’re naïve.” Jurina wasn’t so easily deterred. “You always see the best in people. Kashiwagi-san is acting nice to get close to you. Once she gets what she wants, she’ll get rid of you without any remorse!”
“You always believe everyone has bad intentions. I know what my heart feels and that Kashiwagi-san feels the same. I don’t judge your relationship with Matsui-san!”
“I-It’s different.”
“How is it different?” Mayu countered. Her sister avoided her gaze, and Mayu guessed she had caught her off guard. “I won’t pretend I fully understand the nature of the relationship you two have. But look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have feelings for her. Or you want me to believe it’s a simple flirt? That it’s not serious?”
When the younger girl didn’t reply, Mayu added. “I think we’re both experimenting the same. We met someone who makes us feel something different; something new and strong. But at least, I’m honest about it, and not afraid of saying it.”
Mayu stood face to face with Jurina. She wanted her to realize she meant every single word, and nothing, no one, would make her change her mind. She half-expected her to come back at her with a clever retort. Against all odds, Jurina’s lips remained tightly sealed. Mayu took a step back, and slowly walked away. Their heated debate had left her shaken, and it would take her a while to recover from it, but she was also proud to have been brave enough to stand up to her convictions.
**********
“She’s totally infatuated with Kashiwagi-san,” Jurina mumbled, leaning her back against the stall. “It doesn’t make her think clearly.”
The whinny of her horse distracted her. “What?” She cocked an eyebrow at her black stallion, meeting his visible disapproval. The animal tilted his head to his left, pointing his nose towards the untouched saddle on the rack. “Yes, yes, we are leaving! You can be so impatient, sometimes!”
Jurina pushed away from the door stall and picked the saddle, throwing it on the horse. All morning, she couldn’t get out of her head her argument with Mayu. She had taken the direction of the stables, hoping a ride would help dissipate her bad mood. “Why won’t she listen to me!” She growled, putting on the bridle. “I know I’m right, right?!” She studied her horse’s reaction, hoping for support and understanding, but all she got in return was a silent stare.
Akihira-kun, the thirteen-year-old stable boy, who brushed the knotted beige mane of a horse, spoke up in a small, hesitant voice. “I-Is everything alright, Watanabe-san?”
Jurina spared him a quick glance. “Yes, yes.” She answered, attempting to sound as nonchalant as possible. A complete lie. She was anything but fine.
“And how can she compare it to my relationship with Rena-san! It’s ridiculous! It’s completely different!”
A chestnut head popped over the next-door stall. Her protector’s calm and gentle mare appeared, and twitched her ears at her in a friendly hello. The stallion disregarded Jurina’s presence and greeted the mare with a nicker, rubbing his nostrils against the head of the female horse.
“Great,” Jurina groaned, her frustration rising. “Remind me who defended you when Rena-san didn’t want you two to be together? Me! So, you could at least pretend you’re interested in my problems!”
The stallion turned his head partially towards his owner, and snorted in response.
The front door of the stables opened, and Jurina diverted her attention from the couple to the group of four men entering. Amongst them, Jurina recognized two kenjutsu apprentices, Tanaka-san and Matsuura-san. She failed to identify the two others, but by their dark blue outfits, concluded they were young shinobis at Kitahara-san’s service. Her own horse ride all forgotten, she observed the scene unfolding. The four horses saddled and prepared. The heavy, large packages. The weapons concealed beneath the kimonos or wrapped up in dark clothing.
This group of men spiked her interest.
Unable to contain her curiosity, Jurina approached them. “Going somewhere? You seem prepared for a long travel.”
“W-Watanabe-san.” Tanaka-san spun around. “Oh no, we’re only going to the village.”
“So heavily armed and food supply for what? A week? Has anyone told you before you’re a terrible liar?”
He swallowed nervously. “Matsui-dono told us not to disclose any information.”
“And if you’re not aware of it, it means Matsui-dono doesn’t trust you enough,” Matsuura-san chimed in, snickering.
Jurina glared at him. Her hand travelled toward the hilt of her katana, loosening it from its guard. Her protector had asked her to work on her temper, and to socialize with the other trainees. On that first point, Jurina had made efforts. Did she sometimes lose her calm? Yes, she did, but she had made great progress. Three months ago, she would already have pulled out her sword and challenged him to a duel.
Concerning her relationship with the other apprentices, it was a different story. At first, any opportunity was good to challenge them into spontaneous fights. She relished the adrenaline coursing through her veins when their swords clashed together. Eventually, her thirst depleted to a more reasonable level, and she was satisfied with the daily trainings and regular tournaments. Jurina had neutral feelings for the majority of her fellow companions. She hadn’t developed any friendship, but some had owed her respect, such as Tanaka-san, whom she considered as a valuable opponent. However, if there was one trainee she remained in permanent conflict with, it was the pretentious and self-assured Matsuura-san.
Jurina released her hold on the tsuka of her katana, calming down. Ignoring the provocation, she addressed Tanaka-san. “You’re going on a mission?”
“Yes, we are,” he confessed, a little reluctantly. “We were ordered to patrol the clan’s southern border with Ikeda-san and Abe-san.”
Jurina’s eyes widened at the revelation. The southern border. It was where she and Rena had been attacked. It couldn’t be a coincidence. Jurina thought of interrogating him further, but refrained. He probably had been told the strict minimum. The group mounted their horses, and trotted out of the stables. Why didn’t her protector warn her about this mission? And why wasn’t she part of it? As the four riders vanished in the distance, she decided to have an explanation.
**********
Jurina made a beeline to the samurais’ quarters, discovering Rena’s bedroom empty. She moved to the dojo, finding the kenjutsu instructor equally absent. For an instant, she wondered if she had briefly left the clan. No, it wasn’t possible. Her protector had to be within the grounds of the clan: her horse was still present in the stables. Jurina checked a few other locations, such as the courtyard and the garden, without any success. After half an hour of fruitless research, she came to the evidence: she needed to question a guard.
The first guard proved completely useless, having not a single clue about her location. The second one she interrogated provided her, at last, with the information she desperately sought: the kenjutsu instructor was in the council chambers. Jurina took its direction, feeling slightly foolish for omitting that place. Her protector had regular meetings with the head of the clan, and lately, her presence was requested on a daily basis.
Jurina arrived at destination, but was disappointed to find the doors shut. Jurina hesitated: come back later or wait? In the end, she chose the second option. Ignoring the two guards eyeing her suspiciously, she made herself comfortable in the waiting area, praying it wouldn’t take too long.
Time passed slowly, so slowly she found her patience strained. She never had been the most patient person in the world – Mayu would be the first to attest to it - but this meeting was unusually long. Nevermind. She would have to postpone this conversation to later. Jurina raised from her chair, decided to not wait another minute, when the doors opened. An advisor hurried out, his arms filled with scrolls, and Jurina used the opportunity to take a peek inside the room.
Astonishment touched her. The head of the clan was nowhere to be seen. Behind the office where she usually handled meetings and claims, was present the one and only master kenjutsu. Head bent down, she was focused on the table heaped with papers, listening to the male advisor who stood beside her and gave her instructions.
Jurina considered her next move. Should she make her presence known? Or leave her protector to her occupations? No, she had waited long enough to turn back. She approached the entrance, but was halted by a guard. “Do you have a meeting? Matsui-dono asked not to be disturbed.”
“No, I don’t. But I want to talk to her.”
“What is it?” Rena’s inquiry sounded from inside the room.
“It’s Watanabe-san,” the guard announced, turning in her direction. “She wants to speak to you. I told her you wished not to be disturbed.”
“It’s fine. Let her in.”
Jurina walked in and, as the doors closed behind her, didn’t wait to point out the oddity of the situation. “Shinoda-san is not here?”
“Momijimori no kami dono is unwell, and is resting in her quarters. In the meantime, I’m assuming her obligations.”
Jurina frowned. “Is she sick?”
“It’s a simple allergic reaction to the season.” Her protector’s tone was controlled, but Jurina detected a hint of concern in her tone.
“Well, for what it’s worth,” with a slight joking tone, Jurina went on. “If anything were to happen to the head of the clan, you would make an excellent replacement. You’re practically already doing the job for her.”
The advisor’s features contorted with shock and stupor. Rena pursed her lips in slight disapproval, yet a look of veiled amusement crossed her face. “Forgive my protégée’s erratic sense of humor. Obviously, she wishes no harm to Shinoda-dono. Am I wrong, Watanabe-san?”
“Of course not,” Jurina answered, suppressing a smile. “I hope Shinoda-dono will be on the road of recovery in no time.” She continued, not losing sight of her primary objective. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Matsui-dono has a busy schedule. I’m sure this conversation can wait,” the advisor intervened firmly.
“Yes…” Rena’s voice trailed away, with embarrassment. “Suzuki-san is right. I have all this paperwork to finish by the end of the day.”
“It won’t be long,” Jurina tried to sound reassuring.
Rena could sense her advisor’s eyes boring into her, pressuring her, but she felt guilty for denying her protégée’s desire to speak. “Alright.” Rena relented, and lowered on the table the document she was reading. “What did you wish to talk about?”
Jurina’s gaze drifted from her to the advisor, and Rena deciphered the meaning of the message conveyed. “Suzuki-san. Would you mind leaving us?”
The advisor exchanged with her a glance of surprise, not making any secret of his discontent. His mouth opened as if to speak, and it took him all his self-restraint to not object, bowing slightly, and leaving the council chambers.
“I don’t have a lot of spare time…” Rena’s face creased; her stress palpable. “It’s not I don’t wish to speak to you, but this added workload was unexpected. The Autumnal season seems to affect Shinoda-san’s health… more than usual. She’s been unwell for the past few days.”
“Is it true you sent Tanaka-san and Matsuura-an on a mission?” Jurina didn’t intend to be so blunt, but the question had been nagging her all day. She couldn’t hold herself any longer; she was in desperate needs of answers.
“H-How do you…” Rena stared at her, astounded. “Yes, I did. A couple of days ago, Shinoda-san organized a meeting. She asked me and Kitahara-san to gather and send a group on a patrolling mission. She wants to make sure the frontiers of the clan are well secured. It’s simple routine.”
“We both know it’s more than that. She sent them in the South, where we were attacked.” Jurina confronted her with the truth. “Why didn’t you choose me? I’m your top trainee. I was the best fit.”
“Tanaka-san and Matsuura-san have proved their value. Choosing my protégée would send the wrong message. I didn’t want Shinoda-san or the other trainees to believe I was partial in my decision.”
Rena sounded extremely convincing, but Jurina didn’t buy it. “It’s not the real reason. You didn’t choose me because you don’t trust me. You don’t have enough faith in me to complete a mission without messing up.”
“Jurina-san… No, it’s not true.”
Jurina drew closer to the table, placed her hands flat on the surface and leaned down inches away from her. “You think I’m uncontrollable, don’t you? That I can’t follow orders?” She studied her, trying to read her response. “You know how much I hate being cooped up in this place! I told you… I opened myself to you. This mission, it was exactly what I needed! I needed the distraction!”
Jurina glanced away, overcome with embarrassment. This wasn’t right. She was doing it again. Losing control over her emotions. Precisely what she fought so hard against. She breathed in and out, calming her fast-beating heart. It wasn’t the image she wanted to project. Not to her protector. She wanted to prove she changed, and wasn’t anymore the impetuous child of their first encounter.
“I feared you would be unhappy if it came to your attention. It’s true, I didn’t want to send you. But it’s not for the reason you think. Of course, you have issues to work on. Your temper, your independent and stubborn personality. But you had all the physical and fighting skills required to fulfil this mission.”
“Then why?” Jurina said, allowing her frustration to leak into her tone. “Why didn’t you send me?”
Rena grew rigid and tense, and drew her attention back to the scroll in front of her. “I don’t think it’s the appropriate time for this conversation.”
Jurina felt a stirring of anger. “No, I want to know!”
“Jurina-san, please.” Rena cast her a pleading look. “We can talk about it later. But now is not the best moment.”
“Why?!” Jurina slapped her hand on the table. “It’s not fair, Rena-san! I deserved to go on that mission! You had no right to-”
“I don’t want to lose you!” Rena blurted out, her voice shaking angrily. “Two years ago, I lost someone. It was supposed to be an easy mission, but things didn’t turn out as planned. She never made it back alive to the clan! She died! I don’t want the same thing to happen to you! Can you understand that?!”
Shivers racked Jurina’s body; the confession destabilized her. She withdrew her hands from the table and pulled back. Her protector’s deep brown eyes glittered, and brimmed with unshed tears. What was she supposed to say? Or to act? When the silence stretched unbearably long, Jurina did the first thing that came to her mind. She reached out, touching Rena’s hand. As she held her palm, fingers tremble inside hers, and Jurina met her watering eyes.
“You’ve come to mean so much to me,” Rena’s voice crackled; a tear slid down her cheek. “I cannot accept to lose you too.”
Jurina was about to protest, before realizing the irony of the situation. Who was she to disagree with her protector’s desire to protect the ones she cared about, when she acted the same way with Mayu? “I understand you want to protect me.” Her voice was calmer and gentler when she spoke up. “But I can protect mys-”
They were interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Forgive me for the disturbance, Matsui-dono.” The advisor, Suzuki-san, stopped at the entrance, and bowed in respect. “The emissary of the Yokohama clan has arrived. Will you receive him now, or should I make him wait?”
“Oh, right.” At the reminder, Rena straightened up in her seat. Noticing her hand still linked with Jurina’s, she gently extracted her fingers from her hold. “Let the emissary know I will receive him immediately.”
The discussion was over. The thought of protesting didn’t cross Jurina’s mind. She couldn’t delay her protector from her obligations. Jurina slowly backed away from the table, not breaking eye contact with her. “Maybe…” she paused for a breath, hesitant. “Maybe later we’ll have the opportunity to continue this conversation?”
The master kenjutsu didn’t hide her surprise. She didn’t reply immediately, before giving her a small silent nod of consent.
Jurina’s face relaxed into a faint smile of relief.
She spun on her heel and retraced her steps back to the exit. At the doors, she marked a stop, and glanced over her shoulder. The male advisor, Suzuki-san, had already reached her protector’s side. Jurina was too far away to distinguish the content of their conversation, but imagined he was prepping her for the upcoming meeting. Jurina observed her protector attentively, amazed by her ability to regain her composure. In the blink of an eye, her demeanor had altered entirely, her serious, work-hardened expression not revealing an inch of what had transpired in this room.
**********
Every evening, Rena had a ritual.
Her daily chores done, she bid goodbye to Momijimori no kami, and took the direction of the samurais’ quarters. After a hard day’s work – the life of a master kenjutsu anything but restful - it was often sundown by the time she joined her bedroom. Her first action was to lit the candle on the small table, wait for the flame to grow and illuminate her surroundings, and move towards the weapons rack.
Detaching the katana and wakizashi from her belt, she disposed of them and proceeded in disrobing. She removed her hakama and kimono, swapping her daily clothes for her nightly yukata. Before laying down on the futon, she checked her tanto was secured under the pillow, before falling into a deep slumber, exhaustion gaining her.
This evening followed the same path, for one exception. As Rena removed her weapons and placed them onto the rack, she fixed the ninjato laying at the top. She tried not to dwell on it, but was unable to look away. The familiar sword brought her back to the conversation that occurred in the council chambers, one that triggered painful memories to reemerge.
Rena took if off the rack; her fingers slid along the surface of the 30 inches flat blade. That moment of her past was supposed to remain buried deep within her. Only two people, Shinoda-dono and Kitahara-san, had borne witness to the scene, and seen how devastated Airi’s death had left her. The monster who took control. Her delirium and destructive fury. It wasn’t a memory she was proud of, and wished she could erase it from her mind forever. Unfortunately, it still haunted her.
People praised her benevolence and good manners, her sound education and ability to never let her emotions cloud her judgement. Aside from her misconduct two years ago, she had kept them under control. Her encounter with the young Watanabe sister had disrupted the stability of her perfectly organized daily life. After the confession that left her mouth in the council chambers, she didn’t recognize herself. It wasn’t like her to disclose such personal information. The weakness she had displayed. It left her both disturbed and ashamed, and she was lucky only one person had been testimony of it.
“May I come in?”
The familiar feminine voice, hesitant behind her bedroom door, distracted her from her thoughts. Rena cleared her head, and carefully replaced the ninjato back in place. At the request, her mouth lifted into a smile. “Since when you do my protégée ask for my permission to enter?”
The fusuma panel slowly slid open. “Since I learned it’s not appropriate to barge into someone’s bedroom without their approval.” Jurina said, mischief flickering in her eyes. “So, is that a yes? You haven’t answered.”
Rena suppressed the urge to laugh. “Yes, Jurina-san. You may come in.”
Jurina stepped inside the room, closing the fusuma panel behind her, and locked her gaze with hers. They fell into silence and Rena turned around, busying herself with the untying of her hakama. She convinced herself she was simply following her nightly ritual, but revealing secrets of her past had left her vulnerable. She didn’t know how to confront the situation. Rena fumbled with the hakama, the knot resisting her. Her fingers, usually so clever and deft, seemed to have lost all dexterity.
“Do you need any help?” Jurina moved behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, cradling her against her. Rena stiffened in surprise. “It’s funny. You always seem to have troubles with your hakama. Last time, you couldn’t tie it properly. Now, you have difficulty removing it. What would you do without me?”
It took her a few seconds to recall what she referred to. That day at the lake rushed back with vivid clarity, and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She turned around in the embrace, and frowned at her protégée’s wick grin. Jurina’s hands didn’t wait to work on the front himo of her hakama, untying it, then moved to the back. Rena watched as she followed the process, respecting the steps, impressed by her calm and diligence.
“I see I don’t have anything more to teach you.” Rena smiled at her warmly.
While a smile appeared at the corner of Jurina’s lips, she wore a pensive and serious expression. “You know… it’s alright. I’m not upset.”
There was a startled pause. “You’re not?” Rena bit her lip, attempting to keep her voice casual. “Then I guess I must have imagined your anger when you entered the council chambers and interrogated me about the mission.”
Jurina’s expression clouded with unease. “Yes, I was angry at you. Upset, disappointed, and angry. But I’m not anymore.”
Rena vacillated between disconcert and disbelief. “But you have all the right to be. You deserved to go on that mission.”
“You explained yourself. You told me about your past. After what you went through, I understand you would want to protect me.”
Rena stared wordlessly at her, uncomprehending.
“Nothing will happen to me. I’m too stubborn to die,” Jurina said casually. Her job done on the hakama, she took a few steps backward, and sat down on the edge of the futon. “Besides, I’m counting on you to teach me everything you know. I won’t be satisfied until I managed to beat you. So, you need to fulfil your part of the bargain.”
The teasing in Jurina’s tone made her relax, and she smiled in spite of her worry. “Didn’t you defeat me in the forest?”
Jurina waved a hand in dismissal. “No, that didn’t count. I want to beat you in fair fight, without any trick.”
“Please don’t be offended, but I’m afraid you’ll need a few more years for that,” Rena said softly and kindly, but truthfully. “It took me years to perfect my technique, and acquire enough experience to defeat my own instructor.”
“Years? That’s perfect. I’m not going anywhere.”
Rena sent her a small, doubtful look. “You have enough patience to wait for so long?”
“Ah yes, that’s one of the many things I need to work on,” Jurina chuckled, nodding in agreement.
Rena gave her a knowing smile. Dragging her eyes away from her, she stepped out of her hakama, collected it from the floor and neatly folded it on the chair. She reached for the belt of her kimono, aware of her protégée peering at her, but didn’t feel uneasy under her scrutiny. Halfway through the process, she gave her a sideways glance. The amusement had died from Jurina’s eyes, and Rena saw something new and deeply serious within them she couldn’t decipher.
Jurina rose from the futon and closed the distance between them, catching her off guard when she gently pulled her into her arms. “I know you’re troubled by what happened in the council chambers.” She whispered close to her ear, her breath warm against her cheek. “You don’t you like being vulnerable in front of others, and I understand the feeling. I don’t have the habit to confide in people. I’ve never been good at comforting people either,” Jurina confessed awkwardly, struggling to find the right words. “When I told you how much I felt lost and lonely here, you didn’t judge me.”
She pulled back enough to gaze into her eyes. “Today, Mayu told me something that made me think. There are many things I don’t understand. Things… that confuse me. But I know I’m a better person when I’m with you. You said you wanted to help me feel more at home, and I want to try. Not only for my sister’s sake, but because I think it’s worth it. I think you’re worth it, Rena-san.”
Rena’s heart accelerated.
Jurina reached for the front of her kimono and began to detach it. Rena reacted on instinct and seized her hand, interrupting her. She expected the younger girl to fight against her hold, but she didn’t resist. Rena was used to her protégée’s dominant personality and possessive moves. Tonight, she could sense the dynamic between them had changed. She felt her protégée’s desire for her, but she showed more patience, her gaze soft as a caress as it traveled over her face.
A shiver came over Rena, and a knot welled up in her stomach. Jurina leaned closer, her lips paused inches from hers, offering an invitation without taking any liberties. The decision would be all hers. Rena hesitated for the briefest of moments, as her self-preservation instincts warred with her heart’s desire. She knew where this was leading if she didn’t push her back. Her heart won out. She closed the gap separating them. Their lips brushed. She could feel her heart beat faster as Jurina’s mouth moved gently against hers. They had kissed before, but never like that. It made her go weak in the knees, and Rena responded to her kisses with equal tenderness.
Her grip on her protégée’s hand diminished, conveying her consent for her to keep on. Jurina broke the kiss and drew back slightly. Her face brightened with happiness, and Rena gave her a shy smile. The younger girl took her hand in hers, leading her towards the futon. Jurina sat down and gently pulled her down to sit on her lap, and she didn’t oppose any resistance. Without haste, Jurina untied her belt, and swept aside the fabric of her kimono. She feathered her lips along the valley between her breasts, and Rena felt her hands slide over her arms as she freed her from her kimono.
Rena felt the air caress her skin. Her touch claim her. Jurina’s kisses bathed her in delicious intoxication. Her senses roared. Rena’s hands plunged into her hair, fingers tangling, getting accustomed to the sensations of pleasure coursing through her veins. She tried to fight for a minimum of self-control, but found no desire to back out of her embrace, and allowed herself to give free rein to her feelings.
Jurina lifted her off her lap, and laid her gently down the futon. Rena settled back, enjoying the feel of her arms around her. Jurina swooped down, her lips brushed her neck, her cheek, and found her mouth, kissing her. The friction of the fabric of her protégée’s kimono against her skin reminded her that one of them remained fully clothed.
“Is there a reason why I’m the only one naked?” Rena murmured in between kisses, tugging at her protégée’s kimono.
The latter removed herself from her lips and looked at her, visibly entertained by the complaint received. She rose from the futon and undressed, keeping her eyes locked on her face, letting her clothes fall on the floor without ceremony. Rena found herself openly staring at her nude form, admiring her shapely body in the pale moonlight that came through the fusuma leading to the garden.
Jurina climbed back into the futon, reclaiming her position on top of her. “Better?”
Rena reached up, capturing her chin with her thumb and finger, tugging her down for another soft lip touch. “Yes, much better.”
Despite the dominant position, Jurina’s touch was not aggressive or demanding. It was remarkably gentle, coaxing. Jurina’s mouth wandered up the tingling cord of her neck. With a slow, leisurely touch, her fingers roamed over her curves, and she explored her body as if she had all the time in the world. When she touched her breasts and traced their roundness, her nipples surged at the intimacy.
Rena softly moaned with pleasure.
Their eyes met through the dim light, and Rena wondered if the other girl wasn’t holding herself. Taking things slowly for her sake. Rena studied her, trying to obtain a response, but didn’t detect any sign of frustration. On the contrary; all she witnessed was the similar raw pleasure etched on her features. It set her heart pounding. When Jurina dipped her head to recapture her mouth, she met her halfway.
Soon, they both were back in a passionate embrace, their naked bodies entwined, gently making love. While Rena’s hands glided over her back and shoulders, Jurina’s hands left her skin hot and tingling. Tonight, Rena was witnessing her protégée’s softer side. But if those last three months had taught her one thing, it was that Jurina was a complex, multifaceted person. And she was eager to discover all aspects of her personality.
Rena walked into the entrance vestibule and retrieved her coat from the hanger, dressing up and slipping into her shoes. She shut her eyes close, as if to mentally prepare for what was to come. She felt a sudden shiver of apprehension. For the past two months, those visits had turned into a routine. Nevermind how fragile and shattered they always left her, for nothing in the world she would put an end to them. Rena was extracted from her thoughts by the sound of footsteps approaching. She took time to recompose herself and slowly glanced over her shoulder, making eye contact with Akane.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” Akane offered, conflicted. “I could come with you.”
“Thank you, but I already called a taxi,” Rena said, reminding her. “And you have to be at work in half an hour, remember?”
“I can afford to arrive a bit late,” Akane said, with gentle insistence. “I don’t have any important meeting this morning.”
“Arrive late? What would the CEO think of her chief operating officer behaving in such a way?” Rena said, attempting a light, joking tone. Her friend didn’t seem fooled by it. “Thank you, but...” she added in a weak murmur, a forced smile curving her mouth but not reaching her eyes. “I prefer to go alone.”
Rena saw her hesitating, her mouth opening and closing as if she wished to add something, but she didn’t say anything. Yes, she preferred being alone during those visits. Tears always fell with great ease, too hard to contain, and she refused to offer such a sight to her friends again. They had already witnessed her sorrow far too often for her liking. She wanted to retrieve a semblance of dignity.
When did she come out of her state of torpor and inactivity? It was hard to pinpoint the exact moment. At first, she went downstairs to share meals in common, returning to the darkness of her bedroom straight after. Progressively, she went out an hour, and two, slowly back to interacting with the other members of the household.
Alice, the family’s domestic robot, had been the easiest to start with. Rena didn’t feel ashamed to look like a mess in front of her. She patiently listened as Rena spoke. Her replies were always tainted with a certain innocence and naivety, characteristic of her robotic conception, but she never asked questions more than necessary. Rena felt comfortable in her presence; Alice was a simple but easy company.
Gaining confidence, Rena allowed herself to engage in conversations with Akane and Airi. A few minutes at first. As the weeks went on, it turned into an hour, then two. Conversations were light and trivial. Mostly non-important. But the renewed socialization enabled her to slowly come out of her shell. Shizuru, Akane and Airi’s quiet and good-mannered daughter, occasionally took the initiative to engage a conversation with her, mostly to share her everyday life at school.
The only person Rena hadn’t managed to interact with was her own distant daughter. During meals, Natsuki focused on her plate and barely said a word. When they found themselves in the same room, Rena sometimes caught her daughter staring at her. As soon as their eyes met, Natsuki looked away hastily.
Right now, as Rena finished preparing herself for her departure, and she observed the two children playing in the living room, her eyes suddenly locked with Natsuki’s. Rena distinguished a flicker of hesitation in her expression. These last few weeks, it wasn’t the first time she witnessed it. Her attitude had changed ever so slightly. She refused to talk to her, but the visual exchanges lingered, as if she was… torn? Yet, this time once more, the brief visual interaction ended as every previous one. Her daughter’s reproachful and upset look: Rena would never get used to it. And it made her heart clench in pain every single time.
“You should tell her the truth,” Akane said tentatively. “It’s not right… It’s not right to make her hate you for this.”
Rena took a deep, shaky breath. It wasn’t the first time she brought up this topic. “It would only make her suffer.”
“Because it’s best to let her believe her mama abandoned her? Don’t you think she could believe it’s her fault if she left?”
Rena’s eyes widened. “No, she wouldn’t…” she stammered, words failing her. “She believes it’s my fault. She wouldn’t think…” At Akane’s serious expression, the realization hit her. A pang of shame swept through her. Her wish was to protect Natsuki from the harsh truth, and she had been more than willing to put all the blame on herself. All this time, this eventuality hadn’t crossed her mind.
Rena turned away, not wanting her friend to witness the indignant tears that threatened to come suddenly to her eyes. “I know I have to tell her the truth. Trust me, I do.” Her voice was husky with despair. Deep down, Rena was aware she couldn’t lie to Natsuki eternally. But how could she consider having this conversation when she felt herself breaking at the simple idea? “I just don’t know how…” With an effort, she lifted her eyes and gave Akane a pleading look. “I need a little more time. Please. I promise I’ll tell her.”
“Alright,” Akane said, offering her a sad but friendly smile. She wrapped her fingers around Rena’s palm and, feeling it shaking, gave it a light squeeze. “It’s fine. On your own terms. When you’re ready.”
Rena was secretly relieved when she didn’t insist, and turned on her heels. “Ah, wait!” Akane sounded urgent behind her back. “Before you leave, could you sign this? It completely slipped my mind.” Akane retrieved a digital tablet from her briefcase. “It’s for the launching of the new project. The board of directors approved it; it only requires your signature.”
Rena’s gaze dropped to the tablet Akane was handling her. She skimmed through the text and, without second thoughts, added her signature at the bottom of the page.
“By the way….” After a moment’s hesitation, Akane continued. “When are you planning on coming back to the office?”
Rena tried to hide her unease with a fake smile. “From what I’ve seen, you’re managing the company very well without me.”
“I’m doing my best to run it in your absence and I’ll gladly continue as long as needed,” Akane said, trying to sound reassuring. “But the board of directors have raised concerns. They are understanding of the situation, but they fear an impact on our partners and investors on the long-term.” She swallowed, and her expression turned apprehensive. “The last thing I want is to rush you into going back to work if you’re not ready. I hesitated a lot to mention this, but I can’t keep it to myself any longer. The board needs to be reassured, and my words have limited effect. I’m afraid only the CEO’s presence will manage to put them at ease.”
“I don’t know when I’ll be able to…” Rena’s voice trailed off weakly.
On a few occasions, Akane and Airi had suggested her to consider going back to work. They seemed inclined to believe that, the slow and progressive regain of an activity would do her some good. She had difficulty sharing their view on the subject. It already caused her great effort to leave the confinement of her bedroom. Even more to interact with others. She hadn’t hesitated to delegate the reins of the company to Akane, having no doubt it would be in good hands. Hearing the issues Akane was going through made her feel slightly guilty, fearing to have placed a heavy burden on her shoulders.
At the sound of her watch beeping, she read the message she had received. “The taxi is here. I should be back in an hour or two.”
“Take all the time you need,” Akane assured her. “I’ll drop Natsuki and Shizuru at school on my way to work. Airi has an appointment at the office this morning, but she’ll work from home in the afternoon. In the meantime, don’t hesitate to ask Alice if you need anything.”
Rena nodded silently and opened the front door, but couldn’t help stealing one last glance in the direction of the living room. She lingered on her daughter, attentive to her every move, watching her play with Shizuru. Pain tore at her heart at the deterioration of their relationship. When would she be able to be a real mother to her? When would she find the strength to confess the truth about her mother’s death? Despite the uncertainties placating her, Rena felt a twinge of reassurance. Natsuki wasn’t alone. In this household, she was surrounded by people who had undivided affection for her, especially an adorable friend by her side.
**********
Matsui family vault.
Rena’s footsteps came to a halt, and she read the golden inscription carved into the black marble façade. Despite its majestic, imposing stature, the grand funeral building was located in a quiet, isolated area of the cemetery, preserving it from needless attention. Its Roman architecture, sharp contrast with the modern technology of Tokyo, was a direct influence from her great-grandfather’s legacy. Rena wasn’t a capricious child. She didn’t raise her voice in presence of adults. She always obeyed her father, following his instructions to the letter. At her great-grandfather’s passing, and her father suggested to reduce his body to ashes and place him into a cremation site, she refused to stay silent.
Her father and her great-grandfather didn’t get along. Their conflictual relationship went back to the time when she was a young child. Rena never got to learn the official reason behind their dispute, but as the years went by, and she became more attentive of her environment, she figured her father’s frequent infidelities, added to his lack of paternal love, were not innocent to it. In the professional field, no one could match Akihide Matsui’s pioneering spirit and talented skills as a business man. It had propelled Matsui Corporation in the top 10 companies of the country after one year of existence.
But not the same could be said of the father figure he represented. Rena had learned to grow up without a mother, and with limited contact with her grandparents. Raised by nannies, her education taken care of by knowledgeable but dull private tutors. Ignored by an absent father who gave more attention to his work and fleeting conquests, Rena was a smart but lonely child. Her only sources of happiness resulted from the times when her father, in his rare moments of leniency, allowed her to visit her great-grandfather on one of his archeologist’s sites.
Consigning her great-grandfather to oblivion in one of the dozens cold and soulless cremation buildings that abounded around the city was out of the question. She had spoken up, staking her claim, refusing to give up until he accepted to erect a site worthy of his heritage. To her surprise, the conversation didn’t turn as heated as she feared. Maybe her father had been caught off guard by the unexpected moment of rebellion. After a long silence, during which his expression proved unreadable, he had calmly stated it was a waste of money but agreed to her request, under the strict condition that she took care of all dispositions.
Rena didn’t let herself get discouraged by the challenge.
At the age of 15, Rena surrounded herself with the best in their field of expertise. She brought her input into the elaboration of the construction plans, and undertook the building of the family’s vault.
For a little while, Rena stayed in front of the entrance, feeling a sense of pride at what she had accomplished. After 15 years of existence, the vault still stood proudly, preserving the remains of the members of the Matsui family.
Extending her hand, Rena placed her palm flat on the rectangular panel located on the left side of the door. A light scanned her hand, and Rena saw her picture and name pop up on the screen. “Matsui Rena-san,” announced a robotic voice. “Authorization granted.” The door opened up, and Rena walked inside.
Over the years and the evolution of society in terms of robotics, Rena had taken the liberty to make a few changes to the original building. Securing the main access had been her main concern, followed by the customization of the interior’s design. The vault was divided into separate rooms, one for every family member, each space arranged carefully to allow visitors a proper time of reflection.
Rena had stopped counting how often she came to visit Jurina. Her knees weakened and her chin trembled at the sight of the coffin positioned in the middle of the room. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and progressed further inside. The walls were decorated on all sides with the virtual projection of a forest landscape, accompanied by the light rustle of wind in the branches, and the melodic chirping of birds.
Rena wasn’t an adept of excessive technology, but she didn’t regret implementing those modifications. They contributed to create a peaceful and relaxing atmosphere to the sad and cold place. Separating her from the white coffin, was a transparent glass window, secured by another control panel. Rena repeated the process and placed her hand on it, the quick scan confirming her identity, and allowing her to enter.
“Hello, my love.” Rena slid her fingers along the polished surface of the white wooden coffin. “I miss you. I miss you so much.” Her voice cracked; her eyes grew large and liquid. “But I guess you’re tired of hearing that week after week? You probably prefer if I tell you about my day? I’m afraid it will lack originality.”
Rena staggered a few steps away from the coffin and glass window, the door closing automatically at her passage. Feebly, she sat down in the chair behind her. Not taking her eyes from the coffin, she wondered when those conversations became a habit. The first time she passed that door in Akane’s presence, her insides had exploded into pieces, a wail of excruciating sorrow bursting from her throat at the sight of what remained of her wife. As seconds transformed into minutes, and her pain showed no sign of diminishing, her best friend hadn’t waited any longer to pull her out of the place.
The second visit hadn’t gone any better. Rena had taken the initiative to flee the room as soon as tears rolled down her cheeks. Airi, who had accompanied her, hadn’t said a word and drove her back home, but the renewed failed experience had left Rena devastated. A few weeks went by before she gathered the courage to make a new attempt. She could literally feel the anticipation emanating from Akane when the door slid open, almost as if she was ready to drag her out at any instant.
To Rena’s relief, she managed to stand on her feet without breaking down. With unsteady steps, she had approached the glass window, holding her tears as best as she could. She hadn’t been able to stay long, overwhelmed by emotions, but when she left, Rena realized the important step she had achieved. The following visits marked a further progress. Not only was she capable of going alone without Akane or Airi’s assistance, she had formed a sort of routine. Talking to Jurina for an hour about everything and anything. Somehow, those visits became less painful, even bringing her some comfort, almost as if Jurina was still present and hadn’t completely left her side.
Rena’s gaze drifted to the picture frame of her smiling wife and the digital tablet disposed on a small rounded table. The tablet contained a list of files, pictures and videos, memories uploaded by visitors. It was a way of honoring the deceased, transmit the memory of the one who had left this earth but remained in people’s hearts and minds. Friends, co-workers… So many had contributed to preserve Jurina’s memory, and Rena was almost sure to have viewed all of them.
During her visits, Rena often watched at least one video. The painful and complex nature of her relationship with her daughter pushed her to play one in particular. One of the videos that Rena had herself uploaded. “Play memory n°11.”
“Playing memory n°11.” A robotic voice repeated. The forest background dissipated on the opposite wall, giving way to the video’s projection.
“Come on, blow your candles!” Jurina, who was wearing a silly blue birthday hat, could hardly contain her enthusiasm, clapping in her hands. On the opposite side of the table was seated Rena, who was doing her best not to laugh at her wife’s childish behavior. As of Natsuki, she was positioned between them, staring with envy at the chocolate cake. Four white lit candles were disposed as a circle and surrounded a larger one in the middle, representing the letter 4.
As if preparing for a complex challenge, Natsuki’s expression grew serious. Leaning over the table, she inflated her lungs and exhaled, blowing out the candles. All white candles extinguished, but not the one in the middle. The flame wavered left and right, but didn’t go out.
“Ah, Natsuki didn’t blow hard enough,” Jurina said. Her teasing tone didn’t escape Rena’s attention. She exchanged a look with her, and understanding crossed her face at the mischievous wink she received.
“I did!” Natsuki glared at the rebellious candle. With a great gasp, she filled her lungs afresh and blew with all her might. The candle flame flickered, a smile of victory already playing on Natsuki’s lips, only to vanish when the flame didn’t falter. The candle flame stood proudly in the middle, unaffected by Natsuki’s second powerful but failing attempt. “No!! It’s not… It’s not possible!”
Natsuki stared at the cake with anger and frustration, and Rena decided to put an end to her misery. “It appears your mama played a trick on you and bought one of those old vintage candles, didn’t she?”
Natsuki’s eyes widened and she looked at Jurina in shock. “W-What does it mean! How do I blow it?!”
“You can’t.” Jurina’s face split into a wide grin. She reached for a secret switch behind the candle. The flame, that had given Natsuki such a hard time, extinguished by magic.
Natsuki’s mouth dropped open.
“Taste your birthday cake.” Jurina cut the cake and put a slice on Natsuki’s plate. “Your mommy baked it especially for you.”
“Y-You did?” Natsuki tilted her head in Rena’s direction, incredulous.
“Yes, I did,” Rena replied, finding her reaction entertaining. “Why do you look so surprised?”
Natsuki could not hide her embarrassment. “It’s just that mommy is always so busy.” She lowered her voice, fumbling for words. “I didn’t think she had time to…”
Rena didn’t feel offended. Her daughter was only stating the truth. As CEO of a major company, her high position required a lot of personal investment and charged her with great responsibilities. However, this job she loved also had its disadvantages. Amongst them, enough free time to spend with her family. “Yes, mommy works a lot.” Rena drew her chair closer and reached for Natsuki’s face, stroking her left cheek gently. “But Natsuki must never forget how much I love her.”
Natsuki blushed and nodded, smiling shyly.
“And I love you too!” Jurina exclaimed, and kissed Natsuki’s other cheek. “In an hour, aunty Airi and Akane will be coming over with Shizuru. I’ve been told your girlfriend has a special present for you.”
Rena shot her wife a slight disapproving look.
Natsuki went scarlet. “S-Shizuru is not my girlfriend!” Her gaze quickly dropped to her plate and she took a piece, lifting her fork to her mouth. She opened her mouth and tasted it, her whole face beaming with the liveliest, happiest smile.
Rena watched her eat her cake, the way she gulped it down in barely three bites, soon requesting another slice. Rena looked over the other side of the table, and exchanged a subtle look of amusement with Jurina. Rena didn’t hesitate to comply to her daughter’s wishes, cutting another slice for her. Natsuki ate the second slice almost as fast as the previous one, emptying her plate in no time. Natsuki turned in her direction and placed a spontaneous kiss on her cheek, and Rena felt the warmth of pleasure fill her chest. Each day that passed, she realized how fortunate she was to have such a wonderful family.
The video had some footage left, but Rena wasn’t paying attention to it anymore, tears blinding her vision. Those precious family moments reminded her of what she had lost, and how strongly she wished she could go back in the past. She got extracted from her thoughts by the sound of the front door beeping. Caught off guard, she swung around, a robotic voice refusing the entrance to the new visitor. A second attempt was made, only for the control panel to deny access.
Rena heard footsteps receding, and she hesitated. The fact that the visitor wasn’t granted access only meant one thing: their identity wasn’t recognized by the system. Curiosity getting the best of her, Rena stood up from the chair and moved towards the entrance. As she slid it open, the stranger faced her back. It was a long, dark-haired slender woman, dressed in a long brown coat and a matching pair of boots. She wore light makeup, and her lips were slightly red. Her whole appearance was quite elegant and graceful, and Rena figured she had to be in her late twenties.
“I’m sorry for the disturbance,” the woman said, bowing respectfully. “I hope it’s not inappropriate, but I was wondering if I could pay my respect to Jurina-san.”
Rena studied her, and tried to figure out who she was. One thing was certain: she wasn’t part of Jurina’s close friends and colleagues. Otherwise, she would have recognized her immediately. The woman didn’t give her a bad impression, and struck her as sincere in her intentions. After a short moment’s reflection, Rena gave her a nod of consent. “Yes, of course. Please come in.”
Rena lead the way, the woman’s hesitant steps following her. Rena entered and realized the video was still playing. She switched it off hastily. The frozen image of the happy family faded on the wall at once, replaced by the peaceful forest scenery. Rena stood at the back of the room, using the opportunity that the woman was approaching the glass window to observe her attentively. A multitude of questions piled up in her head, one more pressing in particular. Who was that woman?
“Where are my manners. I didn’t introduce myself.” The woman turned around, and gave her a half-embarrassed smile. “I’m Iriyama-san.”
“Matsui-san. A pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Rena replied politely.
“Yes, I know who you are,” the woman said and, witnessing Rena’s confusion, added. “It would be hard not to recognize the face of the CEO of one of the top 10 companies in the country.”
“Right…” Rena murmured, feeling a little silly. “Sometimes, I forget anonymity is a luxury I can’t afford.”
The woman’s face became sober, and somewhat uneasy. “I want to express my sincere apologies for your loss.”
Rena’s features darkened. “Thank you, I appreciate your kind words.” She recovered quickly and smiled, but it just barely made it to her eyes. “Forgive me, but I don’t think we’ve ever met?”
“No, we haven’t. I lived abroad for many years, and came back to Japan recently. When I heard about this tragedy on the news… I could hardly believe it. Jurina-san and I didn’t part on good terms, but I knew I had to come and visit her. My eternal regret is that I’ll never have the opportunity to tell her how sorry I am for the pain I caused her.”
Rena was destabilized, unsure how to react to the confession. And what about the strange familiarity she had used to call her wife? For a while, they didn’t speak, and the woman redirected her attention to the casket visible through the glass window. “How… did you know Jurina?”
“We met in college. For two years, we studied in the same class. Until my actions caused our paths to drift apart,” Iriyama-san replied, with a sad undertone in her voice. “I was young and foolish, and hurt someone I truly cared about. It took me too long to realize my mistake and, once I did, Jurina and I had already lost contact. And now… Now I’ll never be able to ask for her forgiveness...”
She trailed off, and silence stretched between them for an eternity, before she added with a twinge of embarrassment. “I’m sorry for interrupting your moment of reflection. Once more, I want to express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. I couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of the video, and I can see you formed a beautiful family. I can’t even imagine the degree of your pain.”
Rena stayed quiet, noticing from her peripheral vision the other woman walking towards the exit. That’s when it clicked. “I know who you are.”
Iriyama-san tilted her head back. The look in her eyes betrayed her surprise.
“Jurina spoke about you,” Rena started, putting pieces of the puzzle together. “The way your relationship ended hurt her a lot, but…” Rena was a bit ill-at-ease broaching this particular subject, but kept on, wishing to convey as much honesty as possible in her words. “Eventually, she managed to move on and forgave you. She found happiness again.” Rena offered her a small, tentative smile. “She wouldn’t have wanted you to live the rest of your life with regrets, so I hope you’ll be able to forgive yourself and put the past behind.”
It was a long while before Iriyama-san summoned the composure to speak.
“Thank you. Thank you for saying that,” Iriyama-san replied, with a flare of emotion in her voice. “And yes, I can tell she was truthfully happy with you.” Her face softened slightly. “It might be difficult to hear such a thing during those times of hardship you’re going through, but once your sorrow will have decreased enough, I hope you’ll find a way to move forward and rediscover a taste for life.”
Those were the last words they exchanged.
Iriyama-san offered her a polite bow and withdrew from the room, her last words lingering in Rena’s mind.
**********
It was 6 in the morning when Rena tiptoed out of her bedroom, careful to make as little noise as possible. The house was plunged in darkness when she walked down the stairs, and settled down in the kitchen for a light breakfast. The moment of quiet and solitude was the occasion to contemplate her decision. Fear and uncertainty crossed her features. What if she was going too fast and making a huge mistake?
The sound of feet clattering on the tile floor caught her attention and she looked up from her bowl of cereals. A pair of blue eyes were shining through the kitchen’s dim light and approaching her position. Rena lowered her gaze to the ground. Alice, the family’s domestic robot, was staring fixedly at her.
“You’re up early, Miss Rena-san. Is something wrong? Do I need to warn the mistresses of your presence?”
“No, it won’t be necessary,” Rena said, whispering back. “I have to go somewhere, but Airi and Akane don’t need to know about it yet.”
The female robot looked confused. “Mistress Airi and Mistress Akane need to be aware of everything that happens in the house. Not to mention, my role is to look over you. My mistresses were very explicit on that. I cannot disobey a direct order.”
Rena couldn’t help but flash a nostalgic smile. Alice’s sense of dedication and stubbornness reminded her of a special robot who used to share her daily life. It had taken her a little while to adapt to Alfred’s presence. Now that he was gone, Rena realized how much he had come to mean to her. Almost effortlessly, the adorable, helpful little robot had left his imprint in her heart.
“I thank you for taking good care of me.” At the memory of Alfred’s absence, Rena’s faint smile contained a note of sadness. “And you’re not disobeying any order. I was planning on leaving a note. Your mistresses will find it on the living room table as soon as they wake up and come downstairs.”
“Oh, alright.” Alice bobbed her head in agreement. “Thank you for this information. In that case, I can allow you to leave the house.”
Rena followed Alice’s retreating form as she retraced her steps back to her favorite stance by the sofa, the blue glow of her eyes slowly diminishing. Rena redirected her attention to her unfinished breakfast, and brought a spoonful of cereals to her mouth. Putting aside her brief encounter with her morning visitor, a knot formed in Rena’s stomach. She didn’t know if she was ready, but she had to see for herself.
**********
It was raining. Of course, it had to be, Rena cursed the droplets of water hitting her face when she stepped out of the taxi and arrived at her final destination. The weather was fine when she left her friends’ house, but it appeared misfortune decided to strike her. A few months ago, she would never have trusted the weather forecast, and systematically brought her mini collapsible umbrella each time she left home. Her carelessness left her both bewildered and slightly ashamed.
“Matsui-san, please take shelter.”
Rena’s heart skipped a beat when she heard a male voice addressing her from behind, soon seeing an umbrella above her head. She spun around to look at him, her features slowly relaxing when she recognized the male guard. “N-Nakamura-san. I didn’t expect to see you. What are you doing here so early?”
“I always start work at 6 am, Matsui-san,” the guard replied, in a tone of mingled calm and politeness.
“Oh, that’s right...” Rena showed some uneasiness and hesitation. Was her brain so muddled from being cooped up at home that she couldn’t remember the work schedule of one of her employees? “Tell me. Has… anyone arrived at floor 22?”
“Fuji-san, Minamoto-san and Tamura-san have arrived at floor 7. Mori-san and Haradara-san at floor 2. And a few other employees at floor 5 and 9. But no one from floor 22. You’re the first, Matsui-san.”
A wave of relief washed over her. It was the answer she hoped for. “Thank you, Nakamura-san. I won’t delay you any longer.”
The male guard opened the door for her, and stepped aside. “You’re welcome, Matsui-san. It’s a pleasure to see you back.”
Rena entered the building and didn’t dwell upon the receptionist’s surprised look, getting in the first elevator. Pressing the button 22, she tried to keep her focus on the change of floors numbers as she felt a shiver of unease stir deep down inside her. The feeling was strong, oppressing her chest, and she had to hold onto the handrail to brace herself for fear of losing her balance. Nevermind how hard she tried not to think about it, this place unleashed a stream of memories.
It was the place where she and Jurina had first met, the latter soaked from head to toe in search of a new job opportunity. It was the place where, as soon as the elevator emptied and they found themselves alone, they had exchanged so many kisses and words of affection. It was the place where Jurina had asked for her hand in marriage, and she had immediately said yes. It was also the place where Jurina had showed her proudly an ultrasound, revealing the arrival of their first child.
The changes of floors felt interminable. 7, 8, 9. Rena panted, every breath burning through her throat. 11, 12, 13. It felt as though this nightmare would never end. 16, 17, 18. The idea of pressing the emergency button crossed her thoughts. Her hand clutched more tightly the railing, so hard her fingers hurt. 20, 21, 22. At last. The opening of the doors felt like a deliverance.
Her feet inched forward and she stepped outside, feeling herself tremble as she heard the doors closing behind her. She marked a long pause and tried to recollect herself, steadying her breathing. When she felt calm enough, she forced her legs to move. She walked forward, her movements stiff and awkward, until she stopped in front of the door leading towards the large office of floor 22.
As she entered, her first instinct was to sweep the place. She was grateful for the emptiness of the floor, mentally thanking Nakamura-san for his reliable memory. If she had opted for coming to the office at such an early time of the day, it was for a good reason. She wanted to avoid meeting people, fearing she wasn’t ready for any further social interaction. Making small chats at home with close friends, was one thing. Being able to hold a proper, civilized discussion with employees was a whole different matter.
She crossed the room, taking time to look around. The location of the desks. The decoration. The names of each employee, that she read and recognized, indicated on the upper right side of the window panel of every desk. Nothing seemed to have changed a bit since the last time she set foot in floor 22. Her path led her to her own private office, only to reach the same observation.
Here and there, there were some subtle signs that her office had been occupied by someone else. Rena recognized a few of Akane’s belongings, from a picture frame of her family, to her own computer. Some files were properly piled up on the left side of the desk. The place hadn’t been rearranged or redecorated, and was as tidied as she left it. Rena stood at the back of the office, feeling a warm, nostalgic feeling fill her chest.
Against all odds, her previous, almost traumatizing, experience in the elevator had vanished from her mind to give way to a more calm, peaceful sensation. When, a little while later, she left her private office and floor 22, Rena found herself conflicted. She thought it wiser to use the staircase, and the long, slow descent gave her plenty of opportunity to reflect on her next course of action.
She had felt at ease within the space of her office, surprising herself in missing her job and responsibilities, but returning to work implied more than sitting behind a desk. She would be required to attend meetings and conferences. Interact on a daily basis with employees, work partners and associates. Today, she had taken an important step forward. But was she ready to return to public life for all that?
I hope you’ll find a way to move forward and rediscover a taste for life.
The words Iriyama-san had pronounced replayed in her mind. These past two months, she had slowly emerged from her torpor. She had learned to appreciate again some aspects of daily life. Her palate became sensitive again; the food didn’t taste bitter anymore. She was capable of holding, as small and trivial they remained, bits of conversations with Airi and Akane. She didn’t feel a mere shadow of her former self anymore, and the light and outside world didn’t frighten her as much.
But she couldn’t get the picture of her wife’s body lying at the morgue out of her mind. Her chest was tight with emotion each time the memory resurfaced. She had to swallow hard to bit back tears and keep control over her feelings. Jurina’s face haunted her thoughts. She wanted to make her smile and hear her laugh. Embrace her and kiss her again. How could she move forward, when her brain refused to accept that Jurina had passed away?
Rena’s feet slowed down, and she halted in front of floor 11. It was one of the offices invested by the Research and Development Department. The department Jurina had managed, and developed so many groundbreaking projects for the past five years. All nervousness and apprehension slipped back to grip her. Every fiber in her body warned her against the idea of entering that floor.
Rena closed her eyes, trying to steady the sudden wave of fear that filled her. She had gathered so much courage to come all this way. She couldn’t turn back. She needed to overcome this new challenge. All her senses were in alert when she stepped inside the office grounds of floor 11, attentive to any noise, any sign that someone might be present. Just as Nakamura-san had stated, this floor was thankfully also void of employees. Rena’s heart was beating with an uneasy, irregular rhythm and she didn’t dwell in the main open space, taking it straight to Jurina’s private office.
Rena stood in front of the entrance, unmoving, and took a deep breath, summoning the last vestiges of her strength. Her hand tremored as she placed it onto the scan, a robotic voice granting her access. She stepped inside, the door clicking shut behind her, and she leaned heavily against it. Her gaze wandered around the room, in search of something out of the ordinary, but everything was the way it should be. Jurina’s office remained untouched, as if frozen in time.
Her black leather office chair. Her desk, with her computer and digital tablets. The square table in a corner of the room, with maps and files and other documents scattered over it. The walls decorated with a blue ocean scenery. At last, the large picture frame hanging on the wall opposite the desk, and representing Jurina’s family. Rena forbade herself to tremble and pushed herself away from the door, stepping closer to the middle of the room. Pulling the office chair, she sat down gingerly, fighting to keep her fragile control.
She tried to ignore the tightening of her stomach muscles, and let her fingers ran across the surface of the desk. She did not actually touch, merely passed the flat of her palm over her wife’s possessions, one after the other, slowly, carefully. When she felt her hand shaking, she withdrew it, and clutched her hands together in her lap. She dragged her eyes away and attempted to stand up, but her whole body felt heavy, refusing to respond, as if it no longer belonged to her.
Rena raised her hand and passed it over her face, closing her eyes, growing despondent as she could feel the tears wet on her cheek. Why on earth did she decide to come back to the office? Airi and Akane only meant well, but she remained too emotionally fragile. She wasn’t in physical and mental capacity to resume work, and this place brought back too many memories.
Absentmindedly, Rena pulled a drawer open, discovering a number of documents stuffed inside. A faint smile crossed her lips at her wife’s slight disordered desk. Jurina’s work was always so perfect and meticulous, that Rena wondered how she achieved such a miracle with her own personal conception of organization. She opened a second drawer, finding another stack of pages. Her attention was grabbed by a white envelope laying on the top of the pile. Blinking in confusion, she retrieved the mysterious envelope, and her body grew rigid as she read the inscription.
Rena.
She almost dropped the envelope; her fingers shook so. She ran her fingertips across the smooth edges and, for a long moment, stared at her name penned in Jurina’s handwriting. What words could be within? Why did she feel so afraid of opening it? She pulled out a letter, carefully unfolding it. It was an old-fashioned style of paper, slightly browned with age, crackling to the touch, just like an ancient parchment. The letter was bordered with a pattern of delicate flowers, that Rena recognized as pink freesias.
Happy 30th anniversary.
Yes, I know. You said you didn’t want to receive anything special. But did you truly expect me to listen? Today is the 30th anniversary of my beautiful wife. And nothing could have stopped me from making this moment unforgettable. For months, I thought a lot about what kind of present to give you. The idea of writing you a letter, and using an old style of paper from this vintage shop you love so much, was the first that came to my mind. I can even imagine your smile right now as you read this letter.
I knew I had to do something significant to mark the occasion. I’m sorry for hiding you the truth for so long. All those evenings, when you kept asking me what was delaying me at work, I had a difficult time to not revealing everything. You are so smart and persuasive. It’s a hard task to conceal anything from you. To be honest, I didn’t even know if I would achieve my objective. During months, I worked relentlessly on this project, as discreetly as possible to not alert anyone.
I did it, Rena.
I finished the plans of the time machine.
Right now, as I’m writing those words, I’m not sure how you will receive the news. I hope you won’t be mad at me for doing it behind your back. I know you said you had put that dream behind, but certain dreams are too meaningful to give up on. I want you to go back in time. Revisit all those wonderful, ancient civilizations you so often speak about. Please accept my gift. Please build the time machine. No one should live their life with regrets, and I never want to see that fire of passion extinguish from your eyes.
With love,
Jurina.
Rena could hardly breathe.
She held the letter between her shaking hands, her eyes transfixed on the words. Over and over, she ran her gaze across them. She had a hard time believing what she was reading. Adrenaline suddenly shot through her as she realized what Jurina had accomplished. A miracle. There was no other way to name it. Rena straightened her shoulders and, tilting her chin up, wiped her tears with the back of her hand.
Airi retrieved a glass from the cupboard and placed it next to the napkin and pair of chopsticks on the food stray, stealing a worried glance at Akane who was cooking. At this late time of the day, the house used to be full of life and filled with conversations, but their routine had been abruptly disrupted. These past few days, a heavy atmosphere enveloped each of their evenings. While Shizuru and Natsuki watched television in the living room, their female domestic robot, Alice, prepared dinner with the rigor and dedication she was famous for. In fact, the latter went on with her daily chores as usual and didn’t seem too disturbed by the recent arrangements in the organization of the household.
But not the same could be said for the other occupants of the house. Airi witnessed on a daily basis how Akane was affected by the decline of Rena’s health and mental condition. When was the last time she saw her wife smile or laugh? Airi couldn’t recall. As for their daughter Shizuru, it was a hard task to keep the truth from her. She kept asking questions. To know why Natsuki and Rena were living with them. To know why Jurina hadn’t showed up once since their arrival. Shizuru didn’t understand the situation, but was clever enough to realize her parents were hiding things from her.
Akane turned the burner off and poured the soup in the four bowls on the table, filling at last the bowl on the food tray. As she leaned down to carry the food tray, Airi reacted on instinct and held her arm. “Let me do it tonight.”
They exchanged looks in silence. A mixture of emotions flashed through Akane’s eyes – confusion, surprise. She gave her a weak nod of consent. “It will be alright.” Airi gave her arm a gentle squeeze, wanting to restore hope and confidence in the future. “We will go through this. Together.”
Akane’s eyes locked into hers. “I can’t handle seeing her like this. She’s my best friend. I want to help her any way I can. I just… I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Airi saw her insecurity. Her despair. Her sorrow. “I know.” She leaned over and planted a kiss on her cheek. “Rena is a strong person. Right now, she’s going through a difficult phase, but she will overcome this. I know she will.”
A faint smile played across Akane’s lips. She didn’t add anything after that and Airi knew they wouldn’t speak of the subject anymore.
Airi left the kitchen and climbed the stairs leading to the upper floor, cautious not to spill the content of the food tray. As she approached the guest room, she felt a twinge of anticipation, fearing how her arrival would be received. Following Rena’s discharge from the hospital, Akane had drove her back to her house, but the outcome was a disaster. Rena didn’t have the energy and emotional capacity to take care of herself, breaking down each time her gaze fell upon the single remembrance of her deceased wife in the house. It had only taken Akane and Airi a short discussion to make a decision. That same evening, Akane brought Rena to live with them.
Airi passed the bedroom door, not surprised to find the lights off and the curtains closed. She squinted, letting her eyes get accustomed to the darkness. Her gaze fell upon the bed, undone but empty. Airi moved forward and laid the tray down on the table, switching the bed lamp on. The light slowly brightened until it flooded the room, the walls, the furniture, and the body curled in a corner of the room.
After two weeks, Rena’s physical frailty had reached a preoccupying stage. Rena was dressed in her pajama, her general appearance sloppy, her hair disheveled. Her face was as pale as death, her lips parched and crackled. She had an empty gaze, her eyes swollen and puffy. Despite the food presented to her three times a day, each food tray was returned barely touched. Rena spent all her days secluded in her room, alternating between sleeping and crying when she thought no one heard her.
Airi’s heart sank, still not accustomed to such a terrible vision. This person huddled on the floor, silently hugging her knees close to her chest, didn’t look like her friend. She bore no resemblance with the proud and confident millionaire CEO she had worked aside and known for so many years. Both she and Akane did everything in their power to be of moral support after the tragedy that had struck, but their efforts didn’t seem to pay off and have any positive effect on her.
Airi kneeled in front of her, murmuring. “I brought you dinner.” She received no response and laid a tentative hand on her knee. “Rena?”
The physical contact stirred her up. “Thank you.” Rena stared back at her with a blank look. “But I’m not hungry.”
Airi felt despondent and frustrated by the rejection. “I know, but you have to eat. Akane and I are worried about you. Think about Natsuki. She wouldn’t want to see you like this.”
At the mention of her daughter, Rena’s eyes filled with tears. “You think I’m a bad mother, don’t you?”
“Of course not,” Airi protested, caught off guard. “You are in pain and grieving. We love you, Rena. We will take care of you and Natsuki as long as necessary. But we want to help you go through this. So please. Promise me you’ll eat something?”
Airi feared her plea to be futile. Her friend was avoiding her gaze and didn’t look inclined to comply. Airi hesitated, acknowledging the tricky situation. She didn’t wish to show too much insistence; it would only push her friend to withdraw even further into her shell. She waited and stroke her arm, whispering a few words of comfort. She repeated the process, waiting, hoping to witness the slightest sign of change. She didn’t want to leave the room with another sense of failure.
At last, she caught Rena’s attention. Her lack of enthusiasm was showing, yet Airi’s patience was rewarded with a small, unconvinced nod. It wasn’t much, but enough to elevate her spirit. She helped her get up from the floor and they took the direction of the table. The meal went on in silence. Airi stayed by her side the whole time. Jurina’s absence resonated in every one of them and she couldn’t imagine the pain Rena was going through. However, after tonight, her chest filled with hope at the small step she achieved.
**********
“The prince reached the tower where the kidnapped princess was imprisoned. Without warning, his horse stopped with his head high, ears forward, body rigid. The prince began to soothe the animal with a caress on the neck, but the horse refused to move forward, stamping his feet in displeasure. The prince stared in front of him and reached for his sword, sensing the danger. Suddenly, a mournful howling sound could be heard. His jaw dropped in shock at the threatening green dragon that appeared in front of him. The prince felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He heard the storytelling of a dark creature invoked by the king, but refused to believe it. Today, he was going to fight his greatest enemy.”
Natsuki gasped and watched, wide-eyed, the dragon projected by the hologram, searching in the darkness for Shizuru’s hand. At the physical contact, Shizuru tilted her head in her direction, reading the terror plastered all over her friend’s face. Alice, her domestic robot, kept on narrating the story, projecting in Shizuru’s bedroom images of the brave prince fighting the dragon with all his might, the special effects coming from the hologram making the fairytale extremely realistic.
“After a fierce battle, the prince planted his sword in the belly of the beast. The earth trembled as the defeated dragon collapsed and expired his last breath. The prince, exhausted and severely injured, dragged his feet forward and marched ahead. He arrived at the bottom of the tower, his progress coming to a halt when a field of thorns developed and grew by magic, preventing him from accessing the front door. The prince’s bloodied arm trembled and he raised his eyes to heaven, devastated by the new obstacle. Was fate against him? When would his misery come to an end?”
“No!” Natsuki let out a frustrated scream. “Why can’t the prince be reunited with the princess already? Why??”
“I-I’m sure he will,” Shizuru said, taken aback by her outburst. “Let’s listen to the rest of the story and see what happens nex-”
“No! I don’t want to! Enough! Enough!”
Shizuru stared at her, complete surprise on her face. Her friend rose from the bed, agitated, refusing to spare another look at the hologram. Shizuru went silent, not knowing what to say next. Deep concern washed over her. Natsuki was on the verge of tears. “Alice…” She forced a smile and addressed hesitantly the robot who had paused the story. “Could you please… leave us alone?”
“Yes, Miss Shizuru,” the female robot said with a slight bob of her head. “Don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything.”
Shizuru followed her robot’s retreating form as she left the bedroom and redirected her attention to Natsuki. Since she began living with them, she hadn’t been the same. Shizuru had questioned her parents about it, wishing to know what was happening, but all she managed to learn was that she and her mother would be staying with them for a little while. Under other circumstances, she would have been overjoyed by the news. She loved spending time with her best friend. Nothing made her happier in the world. But everything had changed two weeks ago.
During their conversations, Natsuki almost never smiled. Every interaction with Alice, the family’s domestic robot, darkened her mood even more. Shizuru knew how affected Natsuki was by Alfred’s terrible fate. She didn’t understand either herself how come he had stopped functioning. But it wasn’t the only absence in her life that caused her friend so much pain. During family meals at 4, Shizuru didn’t miss the dejected look Natsuki would give the two empty chairs.
Shizuru gave a small tug at Natsuki’s hand. She was relieved when she didn’t reject her and came to sit by her side on the bed. In the past, Shizuru adored teasing and showering her friend with gestures of affection. A kiss on the cheek or a spontaneous embrace, often received by her shy friend with an embarrassed blush. However, this evening, when Shizuru laced their fingers together, her only objective was to bring her comfort. She suddenly had a flash of intuition. “Why don’t you go and see your mommy?”
Natsuki glanced up at her, startled. “But… Auntie Akane and Auntie Airi said I can’t.”
Shizuru tried to remain calm and think rationally, but her frustration at the situation bubbled under the surface. “I know and I think it’s silly. She’s your mommy! It makes no sense! You want to see her, no?”
She got a timid nod in reply.
Shizuru’s eyes twinkled. “Let’s go!” She stood on her feet and pulled on Natsuki’s hand. “Follow me. I know where her bedroom is.”
A flicker of hope brightened Natsuki’s bleak expression. “I-It would be disobeying. What if your parents get upset with me?”
“Who’s going to tell them? I won’t,” Shizuru said confidently and kissed her gently on the cheek. “I promise. It will be our little secret.”
**********
Rena tossed and turned in her bed for the umpteenth time. Would tonight be another night of torture? She hated the nights when she couldn’t sleep, her brain filled with memories of Jurina and her tragic death. Rena stared up at the ceiling. What time was it? It was hard to tell. She vaguely remembered Airi’s visit and taking a bite of the dinner she brought, the food feeling tasteless and bland on her tongue. She lost all appetite a long time ago. Rena was aware of the sleeping pill on the bedside table, ready to put her out of her misery. The temptation was high.
Sleep all day and forget? Or stay awake and have her days and nights filled with visions of the one she lost? The thought brought a lump to her throat and her eyes moistened. Her everyday life had never been the same since she crossed path with Jurina. She brought her a joy and sense of fulfillment her job never managed to accomplish. How could she go on with her life without her by her side?
All these years, she had become so dependent on her love, support and presence. Her heart wasn’t only broken into pieces. When she discovered Jurina’s lifeless body at the morgue, she also lost a part of herself. She felt paralyzed all day, detached from everything around her. Her emotions seemed to have disappeared; she felt physically and mentally drained. She was empty, like a cold shell, vacant.
At the sound of a small knock on the door, she hurriedly brushed away a lonely tear. Tears came so frequently and effortlessly. She prayed they would stop falling for once. She hated offering such a pitiful state of herself to her friends. Rena sat up in bed, frowning as she checked out the alarm-clock. A little over 10 p.m. Dinner had already been served. Had she been crying too much?
Air caught in her lungs when the person she expected the least appeared. Natsuki, her 5-year-old daughter, was standing on the doorstep. Rena grew rigid. She turned pale and clutched the bedcover. Shock. Disbelief. Fear. She had an agreement with Airi and Akane. She made them promise to not let Natsuki enter her bedroom under any circumstance. So what was her daughter doing here?
Rena followed her progress inside the room. Don’t come closer! she wanted to scream. She needed to stop her. She couldn’t witness her mother in such a bad condition. So why weren’t the words coming out? Natsuki paused once. And twice. She hesitated. She was afraid of being scolded. Rena could see it written all over her face. That’s when Rena realized she couldn’t prevent this reunion from happening. Of course, Natsuki missed her. She missed seeing her as much as she did. Tears sprang to Rena’s eyes and slid down her cheeks. When did she last lay eyes on her daughter? Days? Weeks? Her brain failed to come up with a single response. She lost all notion of time.
Natsuki came to stand beside her bed and, slowly, step after step, climbed onto the bed until they faced each other. Rena couldn’t breathe, let alone speak with the knot forming in her throat.
Natsuki’s fingers lightly touched her cheek. “Mommy is sad too...”
Rena shivered. “Y-Yes, mommy is sad.” She tried putting on a brave face to appear in control, but the sound of her voice breaking betrayed her true emotions. “Mommy… is not feeling well.”
“It’s because mama is not here?”
Rena could only nod by the affirmative.
“Where is mama? Why don’t you tell her to come back?”
Rena felt tears rising again but battled them back. She reduced the distance and wrapped her arms around Natsuki, pulling her close. “Honey…” Rena said hoarsely. “Mama… Mama is not coming back.”
“Why?” Natsuki leaned back, looking straight into her eyes. “I want to see mama… Where is she? Tell her to come home. Please. Please!”
Rena heard Natsuki’s intake of breath as a sob caught in her throat and saw tears streak down her cheeks. She embraced her in a tight hold, feeling her stomach churn at her daughter’s heartbreaking distress. It tore her heart to hear her cry. She needed to tell her the truth, but it was beyond her capacity. She couldn’t find the strength to utter the words out loud. “I know you love your mama. I love her too. But she’s not… She’s not coming back. It’s just the two of us now.”
“No!” Natsuki tore herself away from the embrace. “She promised we would always be together! What did you do?! It’s your fault! I hate you!”
Natsuki’s face had hardened; her eyes burned with anger and resentment. Rena didn’t have time to reply. Without another glance, Natsuki jumped off the bed and stormed out of the room.
Rena was left shocked and shattered.
Her heart clenched with pain, but she didn’t hold it against her for her harsh words. She was the only one to blame; she had handled the situation in such a terrible way. Rena felt more powerless and desperate than ever, before coming to the realization that it was probably for the best. Maybe she should let Natsuki believe she was the reason why Jurina left. How could she bring herself to tell her daughter that her dear mama - the one she admired, praised and loved more than anyone in this world - had died in a cruel car accident? Rena’s own sanity was already hanging by the thinnest of threads. The idea of destroying her daughter’s fragile innocence with the truth was too unbearable to consider.
Akane stirred awake, blinking at the light penetrating her eyelids from the large window panels of the hospital room. Stifling a yawn, she straightened up in her chair, feeling drowsy, her back hurting from the uncomfortable sleeping position. At the sensation of an object inside her hand, her gaze dropped to the cellphone she was holding, reading the text she never finished typing. Akane had no memory of falling asleep, but figured she shouldn’t be too surprised. She and Airi had been up on-and-off all night, uncapable of finding sleep after the tragic news.
Akane saw movement in her peripheral vision and she gazed up at once, watching in expectation the woman slowly waking up in the hospital bed. A small groan escaped Rena’s lips as she had even more difficulty than her adjusting to the bright morning light, her eyes fluttering several times in displeasure. Her tired, drawn features also betrayed her disorientated state and confusion, and it didn’t take long until her attention fell upon her. “A-Akane?”
“You’re awake.” Akane rose from her seat, pained to hear her voice sound so weak. She took her best friend’s hand in a gentle grasp. “How are you feeling?”
“Sleepy. What am I doing here?”
“Well, you were…” Akane began to speak, choosing her words carefully. “You were a little agitated and had to be hospitalized. They gave you a sedative, that’s why you’re feeling that way.”
“Why would they give me a sedative? Does Jurina know I’m here?”
Akane was at a loss for words, destabilized. She and Airi had been both shocked to learn about Jurina’s sudden death. She couldn’t imagine how Rena felt when the police knocked at her door to reveal the devastating news. When Akane heard Rena had been admitted to the hospital, she had rushed to see her, only to discover she had been sedated. The hospital staff let her stay by her side while she rested, yet warned her there was a possibility she might not behave in a coherent way when she woke up. Akane didn’t think too much about it, believing they were being overdramatic.
Rena’s reaction took her completely off guard.
“Why am I at the hospital?”
“Do you… remember what happened?” Akane asked cautiously, searching Rena’s face, only to receive a negative nod in reply. Her friend looked genuinely clueless and a mix of unease and pain swept through Akane’s chest at what she was about to say. “Yesterday, two police officers came to your house. Do you have any memory of that?”
“Two police officers?” Rena frowned at her.
Akane swallowed a nervous lump and squeezed her hand. “Rena… Something terrible happened yesterday and-”
“Is Jurina fine?”
Disarray entered Akane’s eyes. “There was a car accident. Jurina was seriously injured. She didn’t… She didn’t-”
“Stop it.” Rena pulled her hand away, anger burning in her eyes. “What are you telling me? Let me talk to Jurina. I want to see her.”
Akane was powerless; her friend wasn’t listening to a single word she was saying. Until now, she had tried to stay brave in front of her, but she couldn’t take it anymore. Her lips trembled; her mask slipped. “R-Rena, I’m so sorry.” She laid a tentative hand on her arm, tears gathering in her eyes. “I’m so sorry for what happened. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. I’m here for you. I will help you go through this. I promise I won’t leave your side.”
“You’re not making any sense!” Rena sat straight up and threw the bedcover aside, getting out of bed. “I’m calling her and going home.”
“W-What? No, you’re still weak and disoriented,” Akane stammered, surprised by her outburst. “You shouldn’t get out of bed.”
“I’m perfectly fine,” Rena said in a decisive tone, her unsteady steps proving otherwise as her fingers searched frantically her vest’s pocket.
“P-Please, listen to me.” Akane stretched out her arm towards her shoulder.
“Don’t touch me!” Rena slapped her hand away angrily. “Where’s my phone?!” She looked wildly around her. “It should be in my vest!”
Akane’s eyes widened in shock.
The bedroom door slid open, revealing a young female nurse. “Is everything alright?” Her tone was calm and gentle as she entered the room. Her gaze fell on Akane at first, then drifted to the woman wearing a hospital gown. “Matsui-san, you’re under medication. It’s not wise to get out of bed so soon.”
“I-I don’t want to sleep...” Rena’s voice dropped to a weak murmur and she stumbled backward, unbalanced. “I want… I want to see my wife.”
Akane rushed to help her, but the nurse had already made it to Rena’s side. “I understand, but it’s for your own good.” The nurse held Rena by the arm, stabilizing her. “Let me help you lie down.”
A small upset look plastered Rena’s features, but she didn’t oppose any further resistance, holding on the nurse for support as she made her way back to the bed. As she placed her head on the pillow, the nurse infused a sedative in the IV bag, the effect immediate as Rena’s pupils closed without her consent and she fell in a deep slumber.
“I tried to explain her what happened, but she wouldn’t listen.” Akane faced the nurse, a wave of despair washing over her.
“This kind of news can be harder to handle for certain people.” The nurse gave her an understanding look. “Your friend needs more time to process it. Please don’t worry. We’ll keep her under observation as long as needed.”
The nurse left the room, leaving Akane conflicted. She drew her attention back to her best friend, watching her sleep. She looked so calm and peaceful, as if lost in a pleasant dream, but Akane knew it wouldn’t last eternally. Soon or later, she would have to open her eyes and face the truth she refused to accept.
**********
“It’s already been two days. Natsuki keeps asking questions and I don’t know what to say anymore.” Airi said over the phone, keeping an eye from afar on the two little girls playing together in the living room. She drew in a deep breath, mustering up every ounce of courage she could summon for what she was about to suggest. “Do you think… I should tell Natsuki the truth?”
I don’t know… Akane’s voice sounded insecure on the other side of the line. I think Rena should be the one to tell her, but…
“She’s still in denial?”
She spends most of the day sleeping. When she finally wakes up and a doctor or I try to mention it, she shuts everyone out.
Airi pulled a chair and took a seat, discouraged by the news. She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a voice calling her from the living room. She glanced up, meeting Natsuki’s hopeful expression. No words left the little girl’s lips, but Airi had no difficulty guessing the question on her mind. For the umpteenth time, she shook her head negatively at her, a sad smile grazing her lips as she faced the little girl’s disappointment.
Was it Natsuki?
“It was,” Airi lowered her voice, not missing the way Shizuru read the atmosphere and tried to cheer up Natsuki, distracting her with a new game. “Each time she sees me on the phone, she thinks I’m talking to her parents.”
There was a long-tensed pause.
Airi buried her face in her hands, a little desperate. “I can’t imagine what Rena is going through, but there has to be a way to help her.”
The doctor mentioned one... But I don’t know if Rena is ready.
“If something ever happened to you, I don’t know how I would…” Airi couldn’t finish her sentence. The simple thought of it made her stomach sick. “I know you don’t want to make her suffer. God, it’s the last thing I want too. But I don’t think… I don’t think refusing to face the truth is going to help her come to terms with what happened.”
There was another silence.
I know... You’re right. I’ll talk to the doctor again.
Airi didn’t miss the exhaustion in her wife’s voice as they exchanged last words of affection. She hung up the phone and redirected her attention to the living room, observing the two little girls lost in their own little world. There was a certain innocence to the scene, as Natsuki was back to smiling and laughing in Shizuru’s presence, but Airi wasn’t deceived by her behavior. At such a young age, mood swings were recurrent in a child, passing from feelings of sadness or anger to being cheerful again in a flash. But it didn’t mean Natsuki was naïve or oblivious. She was old enough to realize something was wrong.
**********
Rena stood quietly, her eyes darting back and forth between Akane who was helping her put a coat over her hospital gown and the male doctor waiting by the door. “Am I finally going home?”
“I’m sorry, Matsui-san. Your current medical condition doesn’t allow us to discharge you. But I’m hopeful you’ll be able to go back home soon.”
The doctor’s enigmatic words puzzled her and she glanced back to her best friend, but she avoided her gaze. Rena didn’t have the opportunity to speak; the doctor had already opened the bedroom door, leading them outside. Rena grimaced in pain, her head aching at the sudden bright light attacking her pupils and the noise surrounding her. Her body was numb, her brain muddled and she was forced to wrap an arm around Akane’s as they walked down the corridor.
They entered an elevator, Rena’s confusion arose when the floors numbers changed and they reached the underground floors. “Where are you bringing me?”
Rena was destabilized when her question was met with silence. She gave her best friend a side glance, sensing her nervousness. The doors opened and they stepped out of the elevator. They were crossing a new corridor, when Rena abruptly stopped walking. “I don’t want to be here. Bring me back to my room. I want to go home.”
“There is something we first need to do. I promise we will bring you back to your room after,” the doctor said softly.
For the first time, Akane looked her straight in the eye. “This is for your own good. We have… We have to do this.”
Rena went stiff and a bad feeling swept over as she perceived the pain, but mostly guilt reflected in her best friend’s eyes. Akane gently held her by the arm and guided her as they approached an oversized unmarked metal door. The doctor asked them to wait and went through the door, reappearing with a hospital male attendant. “My colleague will walk you through from here.”
Rena entered and shivered at the sudden drop in temperature. She paused, studying the new room they had walked in. On her right, was a small empty waiting room. On her left, were aligned three white doors, two of them labelled with a number.
“Matsui-san, please come with me,” the male attendant addressed her. Rena hesitated, her gut instincts humming with burning insistence to not follow him. Akane gave her an encouraging caress on the shoulder and she followed him until they faced the door labeled number 2. The male attendant was about to open, when Rena looked over her shoulder, realizing Akane had stayed behind in the waiting room.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Akane said, but her words did little to reassure her. Her friend was calm, but her discomfort palpable.
“Matsui-san, please take all the time you need.” The male attendant opened the door, leaving it ajar. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”
Rena brought her attention back to him; the atmosphere became more and more tight. She didn’t know how long she stood unmoving in front of the door. She was conflicted between her curiosity to discover what was on the other side, and a small voice taunting her at the back of her head that she should flee this place as soon as possible. She forced her feet to move forward and she pushed the door at last, hearing it being shut close being her as she entered.
The air fed her heaving lungs and beating heart as she saw the lifeless body of her wife lying on a trolley, silhouetted by a maroon blanket.
Just the head and shoulders were showing; the rest was hidden underneath the sheet. Her eyes were closed; all the color had drained from her face. There were small bruises and cuts all over her skin, but her face showed signs of having been carefully cleaned up. Rena lifted a shaking hand to her pale face, touching her cold cheek. The contact provoked an electric shock within her. Her brain had blocked everything until now, but reality was impossible to ignore any more.
Tears blinded her eyes and choked her voice. “J-Jurina…”
She watched her lifeless face, her fingers trembling as she reached for her hand underneath the sheet. Rena felt dizzy and sick at the cold contact, vaguely registering the feeling of a hospital band around Jurina’s wrist. Her attention got caught by a small table she hadn’t noticed until now. On top of it laid a few personal belongings she recognized. Amongst them some clothes, a broken umbrella and a wedding ring.
Rena crumbled inside and could hold the heartbreak no longer. Her hand gripped her chest as an indescribable pain sprang from her inner being. She screamed as she fell to her knees and her grief poured out in a flood of uncontrollable tears. The door opened and two arms embraced her, but she found no comfort in her best friend’s embrace. Rena tried to look away, to forget, but the lifeless body was a persistence of vision she couldn’t erase. Jurina, her beloved wife and mother of her child, was dead.
It was almost 7 p.m. when Rena arrived home, a heavy sigh of exhaustion escaping her lips as she passed the front door. Removing her raincoat and boots, she rubbed her forehead at her headache, placing her wet umbrella in the basket. Today, and following months of intense negotiations, she had at last signed an important contract with the CEO of a leading specialty pharmaceutical German company. The business woman was pleased and proud to have reached such a great deal, the 5-year contract partnership opening their products to the European market.
This morning, she had arrived at the office a little before 7. Along with the other members of her company working on this negotiation, they had revised in detail all the terms of the contract, while waiting for the arrival of their foreign counterparts. Rena wished to put all chances on her side, refusing to let pass such an incredible opportunity. After a 4-hour meeting with the German representatives, their brand-new collaboration had been formally sealed with a long-awaited signature.
Rena progressed forward in the hallway, feeling her own strengths leaving her. Outside, the wind and rain were fierce, announcing an imminent tempest, water droplets hitting the house windows with a deafening noise. After such a long tiring and stressful day, Rena had one desire: to have a light, quick dinner and join her bed.
Rena entered the living room and dropped her briefcase on a chair, startled when she noticed the obscurity greeting her and the unusual quietness of the house. Her gaze drifted to the top of the staircase, wondering why she couldn’t hear Natsuki playing, then noticed their domestic robot standing by the side of the living room’s television. That definitely piqued her curiosity. “Alfred? Why are you not playing with Natsuki?”
When the robot didn’t react, Rena blinked in confusion. “Alfred, did you hear me?”
His large blue eyes lightened at last, and the robot stepped forward; acknowledging her presence. “M-Mistress? Y-You c-called m-me?”
“Yes. I asked you why you were not upstairs with Natsuki,” Rena repeated, destabilized by the slight jerks in his metallic voice.
Rena was taken aback by his lengthy response time.
“That’s because little Mistress is upset that Mistress Jurina didn’t come to pick her up after school. She refuses to let me enter her room.”
“What do you mean, she didn’t pick her up? Weren’t they supposed to go to the zoo today?” Rena asked, feeling a tinge of doubt. “Show me the calendar.”
The robot projected an image on the wall, blurry and unreadable at first, which caused Rena to gaze back at the robot in curiosity, before it adjusted and got clearer, revealing the family’s monthly schedule. Rena’s confusion arose; the data displayed confirmed what she thought. Jurina was indeed supposed to leave work earlier today to spend quality time with their daughter.
“Did Jurina warn you about any change of plans?” Rena asked, seeing the robot nodding negatively in response. She stood in the living room for a moment, analyzing the situation. Alright; that was strange.
Rena retrieved her Bluetooth earpiece from her vest pocket, and placed it inside her ear. “Call Jurina.”
Calling Jurina. The device responded to the command, dialing. Rena waited, hearing the call ending after one ringing, and falling on Jurina’s voicemail. Rena extracted the earpiece, checking it for any potential malfunction, then put it back inside her ear when nothing appeared out of the ordinary. “Call Jurina.” She repeated, the robotic voice recognizing the command and dialing the requested number. A couple of seconds later, she reached the same result.
Straight to voicemail.
Rena removed the communication device, and faced Alfred’s expectant look. “Something unexpected must have come up at work.” She tried to keep her voice light and unconcerned, but knew she’d failed when she saw Alfred frowning at her.
“Mistress Jurina always calls when she’s delayed at work,” the robot answered, visibly not convinced by the explanation.
Rena didn’t say anything, knowing he was right. It wasn’t like Jurina to not warn them if she was going to be late, even less not to respect a promise made to her daughter. Natsuki was Jurina’s little sunshine. She spoiled their daughter like no one else, always ready to please her and give in to all of her whims. For nothing in the world, would she do anything to tarnish Natsuki’s happiness.
Rena kneeled in front of the robot, catching his hand. “Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll have news from her very soon.”
They held one another’s gaze, the mechanical fingers closing around hers. Rena’s mouth broadened into a smile at the glimmer of hope shining in his blue eyes, amazed by how expressive the humanoid robot could prove to be. Some days, it was so easy to forget that he was a machine, by the genuine, great affection he harbored for the three members of the family. But Rena knew his unfailing loyalty would always go to one member above all. It was the person his eyes had laid on for the very first time, when he got switched on almost a decade ago. It was the one who had held his hand, and given him a unique name, and to whom he had vowed to obey and serve his whole life.
His precious Mistress Jurina.
“I’ll go and see Natsuki.” Rena gently slipped her hand away from his grasp, receiving a weird crackling sound of agreement in response. The latter made Rena pause, asking herself if something couldn’t possibly wrong with the robot, making a mental note to herself to mention it to Jurina later.
Rena climbed the stairs leading towards the first floor, fearing nothing she would say would be sufficient to quell their daughter’s disappointment. Approaching Natsuki’s bedroom, she distinguished the light filtering from underneath the door, but the deadly silence reaching her did not augur anything well about her daughter’s mood.
She opened Natsuki’s door, seeing an instant look of relief greeting her, only for it to transform into a blatant disappointment at her sight. Rena wasn’t offended by her reaction; she knew it wasn’t her that their daughter longed to see the most right now. Rena stood at the entrance of the room, taking a moment to study the scene. Natsuki was sitting on the floor, head low, her back leaning carelessly against the side of the bed. Duran, her all-time favorite stuffed toy, wasn’t in her arms but laying on the pillow, while her toy box remained untouched in front of her.
“Hi honey. Mommy is home. What are you doing?” Rena leaned down, dropping a tender kiss on the top of her head. When her question was met with silence, she turned to the stuffed toy left on the pillow. “I’m sure Duran must be feeling alone up there.” She reached out for the stuffed dog and tried to place it inside Natsuki’s arms, but her daughter refused it and faced the other way.
“I don’t want Duran.”
Rena took a seat by her side, and slowly wrapped her arms around her waist. “I know you’re upset Mama didn’t come to pick you up after school,” she carefully said, seeing how her daughter refused to meet her gaze.
“She promised!”
The dramatic outburst startled her, and she met Natsuki’s angry look. “I’m sorry she couldn’t come. I know you were looking for it.” She caressed the length of her back in a soft, soothing gesture. “I wish I knew what happened, but I can only imagine that she got delayed at work. Maybe someone requested her presence and attention, and she couldn’t free herself as early as she wished.”
“Someone more important than Natsuki?” Rena witnessed her daughter’s anger progressively changing into a mixture of sadness and incomprehension.
“No, no one is more important than you.” Rena gathered her into her arms. “Don’t ever think that.” When she heard the soft sniffing against her neck, she strengthened her hold. “Your mama loves you more than anyone in this world.” Rena gently pulled away, wiping away the budding tears forming in Natsuki’s glistening eyes. “She would never do anything to make you sad, and I know she will make it up for it.”
Rena smiled at her confidently, and drew her back into a long, comforting hug. After a while, she heard the crying diminishing and she approached Duran closer to the little girl, relieved when it wasn’t rejected. “Why don’t I ask Alfred to come and play with you?” Rena offered, playfully pulling onto the dog’s tail, pretending to want to steal it from her. “What do you think? There’s still time before dinner.” When Natsuki pulled the stuffed toy into her arms in a possessive gesture, and her gaze lingered on the untouched toy box, Rena hid a smile, sensing her daughter’s mood had considerably improved.
“Yes, I’ll call Alfred.” Rena placed a kiss on her cheek.
**********
Rena spent the following half-hour finishing some work, reassured by the high level of noise and laughter coming from upstairs. Natsuki seemed to have swapped back to her usual cheerfulness in Alfred’s presence, and it never ceased to amaze her how fast children were capable of going from one mood to the next. On occasions, Rena would look out the window, wondering what could be delaying her wife so much, and hoping she wouldn’t forget to take an umbrella to protect herself from the pouring rain.
She had almost reached the bottom of the financial report she was reading, when a sudden scream reached her.
“Mommy! Mommy!”
At the sound of her daughter’s alarmed voice, Rena raised her head from the digital tablet and left it aside on the table, standing up from the chair to join her upstairs. The instant she opened the bedroom door, she faced Natsuki’s frightened look.
“Mommy! Alfred isn’t speaking anymore!”
Rena glanced down at the humanoid robot standing by her daughter’s side, his eyes extinguished and void of their familiar blue glowing light. As she studied further her daughter’s small companion, she noted something else: the light located on the right side of his neck had turned red. “Hum, I see. Maybe he simply needs to recharge.”
Rena kneeled and lifted the robot, carrying him out of the bedroom and downstairs, closely followed by her daughter’s hurried steps. Once in the living room, she placed the domestic robot on the recharging station. She found it a bit odd. Such an incident had never happened. When his batteries were low, the robot would systematically take the direction of the recharging station on his own.
She waited for the result, Natsuki burning with anticipation beside her with Duran secured in her arms, yet was surprised when the light didn’t turn orange as usual when the robot was on charge. Rena removed Alfred from the recharging station, believing in a temporary connection problem, then put it back in place. She repeated the process a few more times, but despite her best efforts, the light remained desperately red. “I’m not sure what the problem is. Mama will check it when she gets home, alright?”
“W-What if Alfred never speaks again? What if I can’t play with him anymore?” Natsuki stammered, petrified.
“Of course, you’ll play with him again,” Rena said reassuringly, softly caressing her shoulder. “Mama often improves Alfred so he can be more intelligent and spend more time with Natsuki every day. Alfred is getting old now. He probably needs more time to rest, that’s all. Don’t worry about it.”
Rena gave her a smile, and saw her relax slightly. “Why don’t you go back and play in your room? I’ll call you when it’s dinner time.”
Natsuki looked hesitant. “I don’t want to. Can I wait for mama with you?”
“Of course.” Rena embraced her, kissing her temple. “I still have a bit of work to do. Why don’t you watch some TV in the meantime?”
Natsuki beamed in reaction, and Rena watched her retreating form as she walked away and jumped on the sofa, immerging herself in a cartoon. Rena returned to her work, yet quickly lingered back on her daughter. Two unhappy events in the same day were definitely too much to handle for such a young girl, but Rena was convinced everything would go back to normal once Jurina would return.
**********
Rena stared up at the digital clock on the wall: 8 p.m. Usually, Alfred was the one to remind her of the time when she let herself get carried away by work, but the daily routine had been abruptly disrupted. Rena turned off the digital tablet and slipped it in her briefcase, beginning to feel concerned by Jurina’s absence. Seizing the Bluetooth device from the table and, noting she hadn’t received any message from her, she decided to give her wife another call. Her new attempt was met with the same result, and she fell onto the voicemail.
Powerless, she darted a look towards the living room; Natsuki’s attention was still entirely monopolized by the cartoon playing on the television. “Honey, it’s 8 p.m. Can you put the table on?”
Natsuki glanced back in her direction; her eyebrows arched in surprise. “We’re not waiting for mama?”
“I don’t know when mama is coming home, and it’s already late. So it’s best if we start eating without her,” Rena gently explained.
Natsuki switched the television off and slowly climbed off the sofa, Rena not missing the slight dejected look on her face as she entered the kitchen. A silence fell as they ate dinner, none of them having the desire to respect this usual time for convivial sharing. Rena could see that Natsuki was feeling down, but she was having difficulty finding the adequate words to cheer her up, equally disturbed by the situation. The reasonable part of her brain was telling her that there had to be a simple, logical explanation for Jurina’s tardiness, but the lack of news and contact from her struck her as odd and unsettling.
The sound of the front door ringing extracted both family members out of their thoughts, a sudden cry of joy escaping Natsuki’s lips as pleasure plastered her features. For a split moment, Rena did share her enthusiasm, also believing the missing member of the family was finally home, and she stood up from the table. However, her smile progressively faded away as she entered the hallway, and realized something didn’t make sense. Jurina would never ring to enter her own house.
When she opened the front door, she was faced with two police agents, their long black uniforms drenched from the rain, standing on her doorstep. “Good evening, Matsui-san. I’m agent Kimura,” said the first male officer, then motioned the female agent by his side. “And this is agent Inoue.” He removed his cap, politely bowing to her. “We apologize for disturbing you at such a late time of the day. May we come in?”
“O-Of course.” Rena stepped aside, letting them in, noticing the young female agent’s attention drawn to Natsuki who had joined her side.
“Hello, what’s your name?” The female agent asked with a gentle smile, and leaned down to her height.
“M-My name is Natsuki.” Came the shy reply.
“Hello, Natsuki. I’m Inoue-san. Your mommy needs to have a talk with my partner. Would you mind showing me your bedroom?” She asked, then glanced up to the head of the family. “That would be alright with you if I stayed a bit with her?”
Rena found herself momentarily at a loss for words by the strange request, but nodded in agreement, giving Natsuki an encouraging light tap on the back when she saw her eyes flickering hesitantly between the police agent and her. “It’s alright, honey. Go play in your room with the lady. I’ll call you when our conversation is over.”
Rena watched them leaving and climbing up the stairs - listening as Natsuki was prompt to present with enthusiasm her favorite stuffed toy to the female police officer – then was distracted by a male voice addressing her. “Matsui-san, are there other people present in the house?”
“No, it’s only me and my daughter,” Rena calmly answered. “My wife should be on her way from work. May I know what this is about?”
“Do you mind if we take a seat?” He bowed and said, indicating the direction of the living room.
Rena found her interlocutor a bit stiff, but chose to ignore it, nodding in agreement. She led the way, listening to the heavy steps of the male officer’s boots behind her, until she stopped in front of the table and offered him a seat. Once he had settled down, she mimicked his gesture and pulled a chair. The silence that followed between them felt almost heavy, Rena not missing the way the male police officer was nervously avoiding her gaze while he placed his cap down on the table.
Rena was about to repeat her unanswered question, when the new visitor faced her back and opened his mouth.
“I’m afraid I have some very bad news to tell you. Your wife was involved in a car accident. According to initial findings, the driver fell asleep, and the car’s radar system didn’t detect in time your wife’s presence on the crosswalk.”
Rena’s heart raced; her whole body stiffened. “A car accident? How is she? Is she at the hospital?”
The male police officer shifted uneasily in his seat. “The damage was too severe. By the time the ambulance arrived on the scene, it was already too late.”
“I don’t understand. W-Where is she?” Rena’s voice quivered; she felt a tightness in her throat. “Is she at the hospital? Is it serious? When can I see her?”
“You wife didn’t survive,” the male agent said, his voice filled with pain and empathy. “I’m very sorry for your loss.”
Rena felt dizzy and lightheaded. “No, it’s not… it’s not possible. It has to be a mistake. You must have the wrong person.”
“I’m afraid there’s no mistake. We found your wife’s ID card in her vest pocket. I know my words will never be enough to alleviate your pain, but the paramedics said she died instantly. She didn’t suffer.”
Rena vaguely heard the officer’s words, but barely understood them. Her headache became suddenly acute. A nausea seized her, and she had to swallow hard to keep from vomiting. The room seemed to swell around her; she could hardly breathe. The last thing she distinguished was the police officer’s alarmed voice calling her name, before blackness swept over her and she faded into unconsciousness.
Warriors | WMatsui - Capítulo 27 (Traducción al español)
Esa noche, todo los hatamoto – los samuráis que comprendían la guardia privada – junto con otros samuráis de rango bajo del clan estaban reunidos, invitados a tener una cena juntos en compañía de la cabeza del clan. La atmosfera era ligera y relajada, el buen espíritu contrastaba con la solemnidad usual y el tenso protocolo de los encuentros oficiales. Era una reunión que ocurría una vez al mes, una rutina que la cabeza del clan insistía en tener para fortalecer los lazos de los samuráis bajo su servicio.
Jurina no pudo ignorar la cálida sensación que llenó su pecho cuando la familiar puerta apareció ante su vista. A pesar del hecho de que ya había estado docenas de veces en el apartamento de Rena, una sonrisa aún seguía rozando sus labios cuando se detuvo delante de la puerta, y su mirada cayó a sus pies en la alegre locomotora verde que le daba la bienvenida. La primera vez que se paró en el mismo sitio, estaba muy nerviosa, ella ni siquiera podía encontrar la vista entretenida. Ahora, tenía que contenerse de reír ante la elección de alfombrilla de Rena. La Matsui mayor amaba los trenes, y no le importaba que los vecinos lo supieran.
This evening, all the hatamoto - the samurais that composed the private guard – along with other lower ranked samurais of the clan were reunited, invited to have dinner together in the company of the head of the clan. The atmosphere was light and laid back, the good spirit contrasting with the usual solemnity and uptight protocol of official meetings. It was a gathering that occurred once a month, a routine the head of the clan insisted on having to strengthen the bonds of the samurais under her service.
More than 50 members of the clan were currently seated on cushions along the long wooden table dressed up for the occasion, chatting among themselves and enjoying the multi-course brought to them by servants. After finishing the appetizers, they were served a soup garnished with vegetables, followed by a few fried and grilled dishes. Rena raised her chopsticks to taste the tempuras inside her bowl, but somehow was having difficulty enjoying her meal, disturbed by the scene unfolding in front of her.
On the opposite side of the table, her young protégée drank many cups, one after another, filled to the brim with sake. Even though her protégée’s gaze was fixed on her cup, she had clearly noticed what was going on next to her, her upset expression leaving no secret about how she felt about it. On her left, Mayu was having difficulty rebuffing the advances of a slightly wasted Hasegawa-san, the male samurai having not only taken a liking in her, but was also pushing her to drink more sake than she was willing to. The old Watanabe sister, albeit ill-at-ease, was too polite to upfront refuse him and did as she was told, bringing the beverage to her lips at his invitation.
Rena gave Yuki, who was sitting by her right, a discreet sideways glance, and caught her eye in a fleeting moment. The visual contact didn’t last, yet was enough to tell Rena that she had equally noticed the problematic situation. Manifestly, she was struggling between her strong desire to rescue her protégée from this awkward moment, and the realization that she couldn’t do so without risking offending the other male samurai. Yes, it was a tricky situation, and Rena understood perfectly well the dilemma her friend found herself into. However, it turned out the young Watanabe sister didn’t have such scruples.
“Stop bothering my sister.” Jurina’s lips twitched in annoyance as she set down her cup of sake on the table noisily. “And stop trying to get her drunk!”
“I-It’s alright, Jurina.” Mayu tilted her head in her direction, and said to her in a low voice, embarrassed. “Don’t worry about it.”
Jurina shot her sister an incredulous look. “No, it’s not fine. I will not stay seated here while this old man keeps harassing you.”
The table fell silent and heads were raised; faces turned towards the direction of the unexpected argument.
“What did you call me?” The designated Hasegawa-san stopped eating and, straightening up, stared back at the young Watanabe sister with a mix of disbelief and bewilderment. “You’d better not be impudent, young one.”
“Me? Impudent?” Jurina scoffed. “You’re the one who should apologize to my sister for your inappropriate behavior.”
“Watanabe-san.” Rena quickly spoke up. She had tried to keep her voice calm and controlled, but she knew her disapproval was showing when her protégée instantly looked back at her, and her dark brown eyes reflected nothing else but deep frustration. The kenjutsu instructor had strongly hoped she wouldn’t need to intervene, but she refused to stay quiet any longer. The situation was escalating dangerously, and she dreaded the anger now burning from the male samurai’s eyes.
The latter’s hand fell threateningly upon the wakizashi at his belt. “I will not tolerate such dishonor any longer.” He diverted his attention towards the head of the clan. “Momijimori no kami dono, I ask for reparation.”
The atmosphere was electrifying, no one daring to make a single noise or move as they awaited in anticipation for the head of the clan’s reaction. Rena stiffened and held her breath, knowing full well the implication of what Hasegawa-san was asking. Opposite her, her young protégée didn’t seem to measure the consequences, more than ready and eager to pull out her own wakizashi.
A sudden laugh broke the heavy silence. “Old man. I think it’s the best insult I’ve heard in a while.” Mariko said, not bothering to hide her entertainment at the altercation. “Hasegawa-san, you have to admit you’re not the youngest of all at this table. In fact, your extraordinary good health never ceases to amaze me. I’m even convinced you will bury us all. Come on, let’s eat. If there’s one thing that displeases me the most, it’s to eat my wagyu cold. You wouldn’t want your little duel to force me to eat my food cold, would you?”
Despite the casual smile falling upon the head of the clan’s lips, the subtle warning didn’t escape anyone.
“O-Of course not.” The male samurai forced a smile, and slowly released his hold on his wakizashi. The head of the clan burst into another laughter, at what she visibly considered an original insult. It took the other guests a moment or two to know how to react, before timidly following her in her laughter, the dinner resuming its course in a more serene atmosphere. Conversations continued, the incident quickly forgotten, but Rena couldn’t ignore the range of emotions coursing through her as she felt a wave of relief.
It took her a few minutes to fully calm her beating heart, as well as the slight tremble of her hand when she seized her chopsticks to eat. If the head of the clan hadn’t denied Hasegawa-san’s request, there was not a shred of doubt how the confrontation would have ended between the experimented male samurai and her impetuous young apprentice. Rena stole a glance towards the other side of the table. She didn’t detect the slightest sign of remorse on her protégée’s face, not that it surprised her very much. At this précised instant, her thoughtlessness both scared and infuriated her. Not only wasn’t she feeling ashamed by the fact that she had offended a highly respected member of a clan, she didn’t seem to grasp the real danger she had put herself into.
**********
Yuki couldn’t help chastising herself for her powerlessness as she and Mayu crossed the corridor leading towards the samurais’ quarters, the pair having fallen quiet when the kyudo instructor had offered to walk her back after dinner. Yuki relived again in her head the incident that had occurred, blaming herself. She was still shocked by the way Mayu’s younger sister had dared to address another member of the clan, her impoliteness reminding the unpleasant conversation she had had with the young Watanabe sister a few days ago. However, a part of her was also secretly glad that she had spoken up, and been able to put an end to the male samurai’s advances.
If there was one thing Hasegawa-san had never been good at, it was controlling his drinking. It wasn’t rare to witness him getting carried away during social events. Usually, it would only transcribe in the samurai being more jovial and talkative. This evening, it appeared his close proximity with one of the newest feminine addition to the clan had pushed him to test his chances with her in a heavy, clumsy way.
As they were getting closer to their bedrooms, Yuki refused to part with her protégée without addressing the situation. “I should have intervened during dinner. I did notice that Hasegawa-san was bothering you, but I didn’t do anything. I hope you can forgive me.”
Mayu stopped, and glanced back at her, startled. “We both know you couldn’t have done anything without risking offending him. What my sister said was rude, and I hope…” Concern darkened her features. “I hope Hasegawa-san won’t hold it against her.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” Yuki said, shaking her head. “Given my past experience with Hasegawa-san, he had way too much sake tonight to remember a single thing when he wakes up tomorrow morning,” she added on a teasing tone, trying to lighten the mood.
A look of relief crossed Mayu’s face. “Oh, alright. It’s just… My sister has difficulty getting along with the other members of the clan. I would blame myself if she made herself an enemy because of me.”
“Your sister’s impulsive reaction was probably not the wisest,” Yuki admitted with a small nervous chuckle. “But she protected you, which I should have been doing. And a part of me will always feel guilty about by inaction tonight.”
Mayu was touched by her care and concern. “I thank you, Kashiwagi-san. But you don’t have to protect me.”
They looked at each other for a moment, and Yuki found herself having a hard time deciphering the expression in her eyes when her protégée slowly approached her. She awaited in expectation, sensing she wanted to tell her something, before replying when no words left the other girl’s lips. “Of course, I do. I’m your protector. It’s my job to-” She didn’t have time to finish that she felt a pair of lips on hers. The contact was only brief as her protégée quickly pulled away.
Mayu turned away, her face flushing red. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t know… I don’t know why I did that.”
It took Yuki a few long seconds to recover from her shock, her gaze softening as she noticed the other girl’s panic. This evening, she could tell her protégée was not acting as usual, and knew alcohol was in cause. Yuki’s heart skipped a beat; her lips tingled at the remembrance of the kiss they had exchanged. Her inner voice was telling her it wasn’t appropriate to take advantage of the situation when her protégée was obviously not completely herself, but she chose to silence it. After these past months, there was no more denying how they felt for each other, and she knew the beverage had only given her the necessary courage to take the next step in their relationship.
Yuki cupped Mayu’s cheeks between her hands, gently turning her face towards her. “Watanabe-san, you did nothing wrong.”
Mayu finally dared to look back at her. Yuki held her breath in anticipation and, after what felt like an eternity, her protégée slowly reduced the distance once more. Yuki saw her hesitate, uncertainty crossing her face. At this right moment, she couldn’t have found her more adorable. As her protégée’s face drew timidly closer to her, Yuki leaned down and met her halfway, their lips slowly pressing against each other. A burst of happiness fluttered in Yuki’s chest as they shared a sweet, lingering kiss, expressing at last their romantic feelings for each other.
**********
As soon as dinner was over, Rena had had good intentions to have a word with her young protégée about her attitude. She didn’t have the opportunity. The moment the head of the clan raised to her feet, marking the end of dinner, the younger girl didn’t wait to leave, vanishing into thin air without exchanging a glance or a word. Albeit slightly destabilized by it, Rena figured out she probably needed some time alone to cool down. She had regained her quarters, plunging herself in some work she needed to attend. Unfortunately, she had failed to progress as much as she wished, her thoughts diverting far too often towards her protégée. As the evening had progressed and it became pitch dark outside, Rena ended up believing she wouldn’t hear from her anymore until the following morning. If there was one thing she didn’t expect, it was to receive a nightly visit.
Rena tensed as she heard her bedroom’s door sliding open, her brush pausing on the paper laying on the table in front of her. Rena didn’t raise her gaze from the scroll, and listened as footsteps approached on the tatami, feeling a body pressed against her back the following moment. When her protégée buried her face in her shoulder, Rena calmly settled her brush down on the table, and removed the wandering hand that was attempting to open the front of her kimono.
“Stop it. You’re drunk,” Rena said, unable to keep the frustration out of her voice. She couldn’t believe what the younger girl was doing. Were they really going to pretend that everything was fine?
“I’m not drunk,” Jurina protested. “Why are you still working anyway?” She wrapped her arms around her once more, kissing the nape of her neck. “It’s late. You should come in bed. With me.”
That was the last straw. Rena pulled away from her embrace and turned her gaze on to her with an accusatory look. “I can smell alcohol on you. And you’re very naïve if you think I’ll accept you in my bed after your rude behavior at dinner.”
“Rude? This samurai was harassing my sister!” Jurina exclaimed, disbelief filling her words. “What would you have expected me to do? To stay here doing nothing?! He was lucky the head of the clan stopped us, or I would hav-”
“You would have what?” Rena said challengingly. “Killed him? You wouldn’t even be capable of touching him.”
“Incapable?!” Jurina abruptly rose to her feet, infuriated. “You have so little faith in me? What side are you on?!”
Rena avoided her gaze, feeling her own temper also slipping out of control. “I’m on the side of people who don’t want to see you get killed because of a misplaced desire to protect your sister from everything and everyone.” She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down, getting a little desperate. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m dealing with a child who never thinks about the consequences of her actions.”
Her last words were followed by a long silence.
“If that’s your opinion of me, then maybe the child should go to a place where her presence is more appreciated and welcomed. Where someone else will be more than happy to warm my bed.”
Rena raised her head at her last snarky comment. As footsteps drew away rapidly, a mixture of stupor and incredulity surged within her. “If you ever do what I think you’re implying, this is the last time you’ll be passing my doorstep.”
Behind her, her protégée stopped on the tatami at once. Rena waited, but she obtained no response, the last thing she heard being the sound of the bedroom door being roughly slid open and slammed closed as she left.
**********
Surprised entered Churi’s eyes as she noticed the familiar feminine presence awaiting in the main room of the brothel. Distractedly, she kissed back her male client who was leaving her bedroom, then refocused her attention on the girl who was drinking alone. Hadn’t it already been a week since she last saw Nobunaga? Pleasure plastered her features, and she began descending the staircase to greet her friend, but her smile slowly vanished when she realized something was definitely wrong with her tonight.
By Nobunaga’s empty look, it wasn’t hard to guess something had happened. From her seat, she was following the dancing performance of one of their new girls, Akiko, but didn’t seem to take much pleasure in it, not even joining the other patrons in their round of applause. Churi felt both destabilized and troubled. Even more when one of the servants approached her, and discreetly slipped into her ear that Nobunaga had been drinking quite a lot since her arrival. The revelation only served to increase Churi’s concern, having indeed well noticed that her friend appeared more wasted than usual.
“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Churi said, trying to keep the concern out of her voice as she took a seat beside her. “What brings you here?”
Jurina brightened up. “Hey. What took you so long?” She brushed her ears with her lips, before kissing her cheek. “I missed you.”
Churi tried not to look destabilized by the unusual public demonstration of affection, but it was impossible to ignore the curious glances she received. When she felt an arm sliding around her waist, holding her close, and a pair of lips approaching dangerously her mouth, Churi quickly intervened. “Alright, I think someone had too much drinking for the evening,” she tried to defuse the situation with a laugh, and gently disentangled herself from her hold. “Why don’t we continue this conversation in my room?”
A seductive glint slid straight into Jurina’s alcohol—blurred gaze. “Oh, you’re being much bolder than usual tonight.”
“I just don’t want the others to witness you like this,” Churi said and turned to look at her, unable to hide her true feelings of concern any longer. “And you’re obviously not in a condition to return to the clan right now.”
It proved less difficult than Churi feared to bring her friend to get up from the table and leave the main room, following her upstairs without the slightest protest or resistance. As soon as they entered her bedroom and she had closed the door behind them, Churi didn’t have time to react that two arms had wrapped around her neck, and a head dropped heavily upon her shoulder. “D-Did I tell you how much I missed you?”
Churi held her back with one arm, supporting her weight, while stroking her hair with the other, trying to analyze the situation. It wouldn’t be the first time that her friend would drink a lot, but she usually had a great resistance to alcohol. Tonight, the realization that the beverage was clearly affecting her more than usual, taught her that her friend had been drinking for a while, probably even before her arrival at the brothel.
“What is going on?” Churi gently asked; apprehension fluttering through her. “Did you have a fight with someone? Was it with your protector?”
“Why would you think-” Jurina let out a low growl. “I don’t want to talk about her.”
Churi could tell she had predicted right, and was determined to get to the bottom of the problem. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but I’m sure it wasn’t worth drinking so much.”
Jurina’s furious gaze landed on her. “S-She thinks I’m an impudent child!”
Churi let out a small chuckle escape.
Jurina took a step back, and narrowed her eyes at her suspiciously. “What?! You think that too?”
“No, I don’t…” Churi said, doing her best to keep the amusement out of her voice. She crossed the room slowly, carefully pondering on what to reply, before sitting down on the futon. “But you can’t deny that you can act impulsively at times.”
Jurina leaned her back against the door, and folded her arms around her chest. “I thought we were friends, but you’re taking her defense!”
“We are friends.” Churi raised her head and extended her hand, inviting her to join her side. “That’s why I didn’t want the other girls to see you like this, even if I now fear they will find it suspicious that I invited you to my room.”
Churi’s lips curled into a playful smile, and an unconscious smile tugged at Jurina’s lips too. She quietly detached herself from the door, and took place on the futon beside her, burying her face in her hands.
Churi caressed and lightly squeezed her friend’s shoulder. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Jurina heaved out a long sigh of despair. “I accepted to come to this clan for my sister’s sake, and I really tried to adapt, but…”
“You sometimes feel like you don’t fit in?” Churi offered.
Jurina lifted her head slowly and gazed back at her, nodding.
“I see.” Churi smiled, understandingly. “I think it’s important that you share with your protector how you feel about the situation.”
Jurina averted her gaze, shaking her head. “She wouldn’t understand.”
Churi made a thoughtful pause.
“I will never forget the look of distress on her face when she saw you lying here, injured and weak, fighting a fever after your attack. She obviously cares about you. And I can tell the feeling is mutual. So maybe you shouldn’t underestimate her, and allow yourself to open up to her about your internal struggles.”
“I don’t…” Jurina looked lost, uncertain.
Churi leaned and planted a kiss on her cheek. “Why don’t you rest here for a bit? Right now, you’re in no condition to go back.”
Jurina nodded absently and complied, lying down and resting her head on the pillow. Churi stayed by her side, not taking long before she witnessed her heavy pupils drifting close. More than anything, she was conscious that Nobunaga had always been secretive, and never shared much about herself. However, she deep down hoped their conversation would influence her and she would follow her advice, convinced her protector was much more of an attentive listener than Nobunaga was willing to believe.
**********
Jurina stirred awake, placing her hand on her eyes to block the unpleasant sun entering the room. Turning around in bed, it didn’t take her long to grasp that she hadn’t slept at the clan, when she witnessed the familiar feminine body of Churi lying beside her. Her friend was profoundly asleep, her eyes tightly shut. Jurina blinked in confusion, trying to replay in her head the events that had led her to that moment. Her fuddled mind came back to a sharp focus at her sudden headache, painful reminder that she had been drinking more than reasonably.
Gradually, she put the pieces back together, alerted when she realized it was already morning, and she had slept much more than initially intended. Taking a seat on the futon, her thoughts drifted towards her protector. Her heart skipped a beat, fearing how her sleepover would be interpreted, especially after the harsh words that had left her mouth during their last heated argument. Jurina tilted her head in her friend’s direction, enough to check that she was still sound asleep, before getting out of bed as quietly as possible.
She crossed the room and approached the door, conscious she couldn’t stay any longer here, yet stole a last peek at the woman sleeping on the futon. At the reminder of their last conversation, a tired but grateful smile grazed her lips. Yes, she sometimes felt unsatisfied and unfulfilled by her new life within the Shinoda clan. However, if there was one thing she couldn’t deny anymore, it was how lucky she was to have encountered such a faithful and trusted friend in the person of Churi.
**********
Jurina paused when she arrived in front of her protector’s bedroom, hoping she had not already woken up. She placed her hand on the door, ready to open, yet couldn’t manage to go through with it. The irony of the situation struck her hard. The previous days, she certainly didn’t embarrass herself with such consideration, entering her protector’s bedroom whenever she deemed fit. After their latest fight, she found herself hesitant, apprehending how her arrival would be received.
Jurina took a deep breath and carefully slid the door open, her greatest fears becoming reality when her gaze landed on the empty futon. Her protector was awake. Which could only mean that she had well noticed her absence. Jurina moved forward, feeling slightly insecure, wondering if the kenjutsu instructor could possibly have already left for the dojo. The presence of the katana disposed on the rack told her otherwise, and she progressed further into the room, distinguishing a silhouette through the fusuma leading outside.
Jurina approached and slid the door open, noticing her quiet protector seated on the porch facing the garden. It was barely sunrise, and there was not a soul in sight, except for the senzui kawaramono, the gardener of the Shinoda clan. As every morning, he was attending the gravel garden, sweeping away fallen leaves, before tracing with his rake horizontal lines on the ground with the utmost patience and diligence.
Jurina knew her protector had noticed her presence by now and, even if the latter didn’t raise her head to glance at her, Jurina didn’t hesitate to take a seat beside her. She couldn’t deny that her pride was still hurt after being called a child, but she was conscious her protector had every reason to think that way about her. She hadn’t been on her best behavior since her arrival at the clan, and she had a tendency of losing her temper far too easily. Especially last evening, when her unfortunate words went beyond her thoughts.
Silence enveloped them and, when the woman beside her wasn’t inclined to speak, Jurina knew it was up to her to make the first step. “You’re awake early. I thought… I thought you would still be in bed.”
There was another moment of silence, before the reply came. “I am. Let’s say I had troubles sleeping.”
Jurina felt a twinge of guilt, guessing she was responsible.
They fell into silence again, and Jurina maneuvered her thoughts, trying to figure out the best way to broach the situation. When she the least expected it, her protector was the one to speak up. “Where were you yesterday?”
Jurina swallowed twice before she tried to answer. Despite knowing she wouldn’t like her answer, but she couldn’t bring herself to lie. “I was with Churi,” she said, before quickly adding. “But I didn’t have sex with her, if that’s what you think.”
“Why should I believe you? You seemed to have other intentions in mind when you left my bedroom.”
Jurina tensed; another wave of embarrassment swept through her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. I lost my temper, and said things I didn’t mean. I would never…” For a shrinking moment she paused, feeling ashamed for having spoken so cruelly. “I would never cheat on you.”
There was a long silence, and as her words received no reply, Jurina dreaded to have gone too far this time. There was no denying that their relationship had started off on the wrong foot, but the bond between them had grown stronger over time, up to the point of transforming into an intimate close relationship. Despite everything Jurina had put her through with her bad temper, her protector had always showed infinite patience with her. What if she had managed to push her to the limit with that last provocation?
For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, Rena finally faced her back. “No, you shouldn’t have said those things. It was harsh and hurtful.”
Jurina’s face clouded with uneasiness.
“But I forgive you. I forgive you because I know it was also the alcohol speaking, and you didn’t truly mean it.”
Jurina’s eyes widened slightly; hope fluttered in her chest.
“But it’s not only about your attitude with me. You were out of line during dinner, and I’m not sure you even realize it. There are basic rules to respect in society, and your lack of manners keeps baffling me. You cannot keep behaving this way if you wish to stay in this clan, even less in front of Shinoda-dono. Next time, she might not be so merciful. What would you do if she decided to expel both you and your sister? Or maybe that’s what you’re hoping for? To leave that place you seem to abhor so much since your arrival?”
Jurina took time to process everything she had said, deep down conscious that she was entirely right. She mustered her courage to look back at her, witnessing the mix of emotions in her protector’s eyes. She looked upset and disappointed in her, not that Jurina expected any less, but she also couldn’t miss the genuine caring and affection reflected in her small brown orbs. Without warning, Churi’s words came back to the forefront of her mind, and Jurina drew a deep breath, forbidding herself to back away.
“For ten years, it was just me and my sister. Life wasn’t always easy, but I didn’t care because we were together, and it was all that mattered to me. When we arrived here, my whole world was turned upside down. I hated everything about that place, and wanted to leave as soon as possible. My freedom was suddenly restrained, and I was forced to follow a set of rules I had never agreed to. For the first time, my sister didn’t need me anymore. She was doing fine without me; she was happier than I had ever seen her.”
Jurina made a pause, feeling her voice raspy with emotion.
“And that’s why, despite everything I’m feeling, I know we can’t possibly leave anymore. What kind of person would I be if my actions only lead to cause her pain? I would never forgive myself for being the source of her unhappiness.”
Rena’s gaze softened as they stared at each other. “Why did you never tell me those things? I would have listened; I would have understood how you felt.”
Jurina let out a small nervous chuckle. “Let’s say I don’t have the habit to confide in people. Even less in people I barely know.”
“Jurina-san…” With tenderness, Rena reached up and cupped her cheek. “Don’t you know me a bit more by now? I’m conscious I have a tendency of being strict, but if there’s one thing I would never do, it’s judge you for feeling lost and lonely. And I want to think… No, I know that I can help you feel more at home.”
Jurina shuddered at the contact, her touch soothing and warming at the same time. She closed her eyes, feeling an overwhelming surge of relief, not having the strength to resist when she got pulled into an embrace. Without speaking, they remained in each other’s arms, and Jurina let her head fall upon her protector’s shoulder, her grip tightening around her back. A voice inside her head was telling her that it was wrong to display such weakness and vulnerability, but she refused to listen to it, realizing despite herself how truly good it felt to let go and open up her heart.
Jurina, her katana secured in her hand, stared fixedly at her calm and poised female opponent, desperately trying to get a grasp of the situation. Frustration boiled within her. The fight had been going on for a while, much longer that she originally planned. She was so convinced of winning. More than ready to prove her stoic adversary that she would finally find an opening through her impregnable defense. Yet here her instructor quietly stood, a few feet away from her, standing undefeated in front of her. They were awaiting one another’s reaction, unmoving, the wind of Autumn seeming to want to break them from their concentration by blowing away the scattered maple leaves at their feet.
Jurina raised her weapon and lunched forward, her blade immediately blocked as she attempted to surprise her opponent with a quick hit coming from the left. She kept attacking, fierce, over and over again, not leaving her adversary a second to breathe. Nothing managed to break her resistance. Nevermind how many times she came after her, her instructor’s moves remained précised and measured, deflecting every hit with baffling ease. Jurina could feel herself getting more tired and weaker. The fight had dragged on for far too long now, draining her last energy.
As she made a sudden beginner’s mistake, one she should never had made, Jurina stopped and took an unbalanced step back, catching her breath. “Yes, yes. I know. I’m losing my temper.”
Rena blinked, confused, and lowered her katana. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to. I can hear you thinking out loud.” Jurina, sweating, sucked in a ragged breath. Much as it pained her to admit it, she had to concede defeat. Reluctantly, she slipped her katana back inside the saya. “This fight is going nowhere.”
Jurina caught the faintest flicker of amusement on the kenjutsu instructor’s face, before her expression turned serious again. “You’re the one who insisted on receiving those private lessons every morning.”
Jurina released a despondent sigh, nodding, and swept around the vast maple forest surrounding them. She felt powerless, knowing deep down that the other woman was right. The previous week, she hadn’t stopped badgering the kenjutsu instructor with her request. At first, she had refused, saying that she feared how the special treatment would be interpreted if it came to the attention of the other trainees. In the end, Jurina’s determination had gotten the best of the instructor’s resolve. Every morning for the past week, they would train together for an hour, away from prying eyes, in the depth of the maple forest. Jurina believed those lessons would help her progress much faster. Unfortunately, she was still unable to pierce through the sword master’s fighting technique.
“But you are right,” Rena spoke up, breaking the silence that had settled between them. “Those lessons are of little use if you don’t respect the golden rules of kenjutsu, and are not capable of focusing on your enemy’s moves.”
Jurina’s mood shifted and she eased up; her eyes twinkled with mischief. “Oh, trust me.” She stepped closer, her fingers encircling the tsuka of her katana at her belt. “I’ve been paying close attention to you.”
“Then…” Rena moved backwards cautiously. “You should have been able to touch me, don’t you think?”
Jurina smiled at her cunningly and kept advancing. “I think it’s because I’m not using the right technique to beat you.”
Confusion flashed through Rena’s eyes. “The right technique?”
“Yes.” Jurina took another confident step forward.
“W-What are you doing?” Rena raised her weapon in the air.
Jurina’s hand rested on her own katana but she didn’t make any move to pull it out, taking a malicious delight in seeing the hesitation in her protector’s gaze. When Rena moved back again and her back hit the trunk of a tree, her eyes widened at the contact, and Jurina didn’t waste an opportunity to reduce the distance. Quickly, she prevented her escape by placing a hand flat on the tree while the other trapped Rena by the waist. Jurina drew her face close to hers, studying her with hungry eyes, feeling her protector’s body shivering against her, and she leaned forward to whisper into her ear. “And I think I found it.”
Jurina’s lips attacked her neck with a flurry of kisses, trailing down towards her shoulder. When Rena opened her mouth to protest, she smothered it with kisses. A hand grabbed her fiercely by the fabric of her kimono and pushed her back, but Jurina didn’t bulge, savoring the feel, the sweet spicy taste of Rena’s lips on hers. She struggled again, but Jurina wrapped both her arms around her waist in a hold she couldn’t break. After a couple more desperate attempts, the strength of Rena’s grip on her kimono diminished. Jurina’s mouth tugged into a smile of victory, finding Rena’s lips soft and warm and eager to receive hers.
Jurina’s pulse quickened, even faster than it already was. She pressed her lips against hers again, her protector responding to her kisses and clutching at her, giving her all necessary the encouragement she needed to continue. Rena’s heart was beating like a drum against her chest, and she knew there was an attraction neither could ignore. Jurina’s kisses had turned more possessive and demanding and, realizing what she was doing and fearing her sudden fervor could get her to go too far, she forced herself to slow down.
Jurina detached her mouth from hers and looked into her eyes, witnessing the hesitation in her gaze in response to her passion and intensity. The kiss gentled as she brushed her protector’s slightly bruised lips with soothing grazes. She let her lips roam gently over Rena’s slender neck, relishing the involuntarily moan that escaped her lover’s mouth. So caught up in the pleasurable moment of intimacy they were sharing, Jurina chastised herself when she realized she had almost forgotten her initial objective.
While she kept one hand wrapped around the instructor’s waist, she used her other arm to approach the hand Rena was using to hold her katana, slowly and gently circling her wrist. She didn’t even need to use force, her protector visibly far too distracted by her kisses to pay attention. Without much effort, Jurina loosened Rena’s hold on her katana and extracted the weapon from her hand, carelessly letting it fall aside. At the sound of the blade hitting against the bed of Autumn leaves, Rena immediately pulled away from the kiss.
“Yes, I think I found a new effective technique to disarm you.” Jurina couldn’t help but gloat, stealing another kiss from the shocked girl. “But don’t worry, the secret is safe with me. I won’t say a word to the others.”
Rena’s disoriented gaze fell upon her, and it took her a few seconds to grasp the full meaning of what had happened. “R-Really, Jurina-san?!” Her eyes were wide as she stared at her in disbelief. “You’re proud of yourself?” She bent down, retrieving her fallen katana with haste, and replacing it in its saya. “Do you think this kind of childish, silly trick will serve you on the battlefield?”
Jurina’s smile faded a little, her expression growing softer and more understanding as she witnessed her instructor’s manifest disappointment. “I’m sorry.” Jurina reached to cup her cheek in a tender way, surprising herself at how natural and right the gesture of affection felt to her. “I guess you’re right. I haven’t been entirely focused during training lately.” She withdrew her fingers, slightly unsettled by her own behavior. “I want to progress in sword fighting. It was my only goal these past few months, but...” Her voice trailed off, hesitant. “But I always find my mind wandering in your presence.”
As they held one another’s gaze, gauging each other’s reaction, Jurina didn’t fail to notice the way Rena’s gaze dropped to her lips, before quickly raising it once more to her eyes when she realized she had been caught in the act. “N-No, that’s enough.” The kenjutsu instructor took a decided step back. “We already got carried away enough as it. We can’t do this. Not now. Not here.”
“Why not?” Jurina groaned. She reduced the distance, refusing to be deterred by the rejection. “I know you want it too, and there’s no one else here. We are completely alone. It’s just you and I. So what’s stopping us?”
“W-We’re supposed to be training!”
The protest was too feeble to convince her. Jurina licked her lips; a mischievous glint entered her eyes. “We already finished, and I won.”
She moved closer to her, pausing when her instructor placed a hand on her chest to stop her advance. With their faces just inches away, Jurina could hear Rena’s quick breathing, witness the vulnerability displayed, one that only appeared in the samurai’s eyes when they found themselves completely alone. Since they had exchanged that first mutual kiss in her protector’s bedroom a week ago, Jurina constantly felt her self-control and willpower slipping away in Rena’s presence.
Jurina tried to collect her scattered thoughts. Comprehend why she felt so irresistibly drawn to her instructor. Why she had such a hard time fighting the lure to taste her lips over and over again. The urge to pull her closer and take possession of her mouth with hers was hard to resist. Before she even realized what she was doing, Jurina had already captured her mouth and placed her lips on hers. This time, her instructor showed little resistance, her warm breath sending goose bumps racing down Jurina’s neck as they kissed each other.
Her instructor’s kisses were still a little shy and hesitant, almost as if she was afraid of letting loose. Rena was a calm and collected person, who liked to have control in every little aspect of her life. The confession of their attraction to each other had taken them both by surprise. Jurina still had difficulty expressing and putting a name on what she was exactly feeling. And she could easily imagine that her protector was equally destabilized by what was going between them.
The sudden weighing of a horse caught them both by surprise, and they pulled apart, turning around to discover a rider approaching. While Jurina’s brows knitted together, and she glared at the master kunoichi who had dared breaking their peaceful moment alone, a look of embarrassment spread over Rena’s face, although very briefly as she immediately collected herself and adjusted her clothes, politely addressing the newcomer. “Kitahara-san, what brings you here?”
“Forgive me for the interruption, but Momijimori no kami dono is requesting the presence of the kenjutsu master.”
“It will have to wait, because we were not finished,” Jurina said dryly.
“Of course, Kitahara-san. I will follow you back to the clan at once.” Rena quickly replied, and gave Jurina a look of reproach. “Watanabe-san, we’ll continue the lesson tomorrow. Why don’t you continue training on your own in the meantime? I believe you have some flaws to work on.”
Jurina arched an eyebrow at the formality employed, before smiling. “Of course, Rena-san. I will work hard on those flaws you mention, and impatiently wait for the time of our next private lesson.”
The double meaning of her words didn’t escape the kenjutsu instructor, and Jurina gave a faintly malicious smile at Rena’s disapproving stare. Without adding a word, the kenjutsu instructor turned on her heels and mounted her horse, seizing the reins of her mare. Jurina didn’t bother to hide her amusement while Rena followed the master kunoichi, her instructor cleverly avoiding to meet her gaze the whole time. Jurina leaned her back against a tree, not missing the loud plaintive weighing of her stallion, matching her own current bad mood now that the two feminine figures had vanished in the distance. Tonight, she was well intended on making it up for this interruption.
**********
Unease filled Jurina’s chest as she observed the scene unfolding in the archery training courtyard. Sitting on the porch, tapping her right foot on the ground, she ignored the curious glances a few samurais sent her way to focus on Mayu who was diligently practicing her shooting. She should be proud to witness all the progress her sister had achieved since their arrival at the clan, if only she wasn’t so disturbed by the presence of another woman next to her. Jurina had lost count of how many the kyudo instructor had leaned closer to her to murmur something into Mayu’s ear, or casually lay a hand on her shoulder as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Did the female instructor even pay attention to the other young samurais training in the courtyard? Because this awfully looked like a private lesson.
One thing was for certain; Mayu didn’t seem to mind the personal attention she was receiving. Indeed, way too often Jurina would find her glancing back in her protector’s direction, exchanging secret smiles with her each time one of her arrows would hit the center. Her sister was lost in a world of her own, looking so happy, most obviously enjoying more than her recent discovered passion for archery.
Jurina realized how long she had been staring when the young samurais lowered their bows and proceeded in gathering the equipment, leaving one by one the courtyard after thanking their teacher for the daily lesson. Soon enough, all the trainees had scattered away and the courtyard got emptied, except for Mayu who visibly had a hard time parting way with the instructor. Jurina watched as their conversation dragged on and on, neither of them seeming ready to put an end to it, until at last Mayu retreated and left the kyudo instructor behind.
It was the moment Jurina had waited to intervene. Without an ounce of hesitation, she stood up and entered the courtyard, approaching the kyudo instructor who was checking the good condition of the spears and arrows. “I know what you’re doing with my sister.”
Yuki turned around, surprised to see the new feminine presence behind her. “W-Watanabe-san, I hadn’t heard you approaching. I’m sorry…” She frowned slightly in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Jurina searched her face suspiciously. “Do you take me for an idiot? I can see you’re trying to seduce her.”
“S-Seduce her?!” Yuki almost choked on the word. “I don’t know what you think you saw, but I’m not-”
“I want you to know that I have my eyes on you,” Jurina cut her off, her tone sharp. “If you ever dare hurt my sister…” She took a threatening step forward. “You’ll have to answer to me.” Her eyes lingered on Yuki, challenging her. “I’m warning you, Kashiwagi-san. Don’t even think of playing with her feelings.”
Yuki’s jaw dropped, too speechless to reply, and stared at the younger girl who abruptly span on her heels and left without another word. As she replayed in her head their short but memorable conversation, Yuki didn’t know what shocked her the most. That the young Watanabe-san would think so ill of her and of her intentions towards her older sister, or that she had dared using such a rude tone with her and threatening her without the slightest remorse.
**********
“Ah, Matsui-san, take a seat. I’ll be with you in a short moment. I need to finish reading and sign those scrolls, otherwise my obstinate counsellor won’t leave me in peace for the rest of the day.”
“P-Please take all the time you need, Momijimori no kami dono. There is no haste.” The designated male counsellor, who was standing right behind Mariko’s shoulder, quickly straightened up and stuttered. The head of the clan didn’t raise her nose from the scroll, her joking mood clearly perceptible as she continued reading, Rena hiding a smile when the counsellor’s features contorted in great discomfort.
Rena kneeled on the cushion in front of her, her gaze lingering on the highest authority of the clan seated behind the office, before her attention got caught by the quiet presence of the master kunoichi. Rena was slightly destabilized, wondering why the head of the clan had also requested Rie’s presence for this meeting. She kept her questions to herself, waiting for the head of the clan to be ready to address her. As the room fell silent, she allowed her mind to drift away, her thoughts a jumbled mess since this morning. She was conscious that she ought to have a serious conversation with her protégée, and discuss what had happened during the morning training lesson. She needed to make her understand that this kind of frivolous behavior wasn’t permitted, and could in no way ever occur again if she wished to keep receiving privileged private lessons.
Since that first mutual kiss they had shared in Rena’s bedroom a week ago, her young protégée had gotten bolder and bolder. In presence of witnesses, she was still wise enough to not cross boundaries and not display public demonstrations of affection, but it was another matter altogether as soon as they had the slightest moment of privacy. When her protégée had asked for kenjutsu private lessons, stating she wasn’t progressing fast enough with the others, Rena had hesitated a long time, fearing such problems would arise.
A few times already, she had caught her protégée staring intently at her lips during the kenjutsu public lessons, and it had cost Rena a lot of self-control to ignore it and pretend she didn’t notice. No wonder her protégée was complaining she wasn’t progressing! She was constantly distracted! Rena seriously considered putting an end to those morning lessons after the way they had digressed from its original purpose, without mentioning the way Jurina had so rudely addressed the master kunoichi.
“Matsui-san. How well would you say your new trainees have progressed?”
Rena straightened up, and mustered a polite smile. “Very well. In a few months, I don’t believe I’ll have anything more to teach them.”
“There’s always something to learn from the master kenjutsu, but that’s good to hear.” Mariko nodded in approval. “I would like to send a few samurais along with some of our spies to check our territory’s borders. I initially wanted to choose Sagara-san and Atami-san for this mission, but Sagara-san hasn’t fully recovered from his leg injury, and Atami-san hasn’t returned yet from his travel to the Murakami clan. That’s when I thought it could be a good opportunity to test your new trainees. Do you think some of them would be ready to go on a patrolling mission?”
Rena processed the information, now understanding the reason behind the master kunoichi’s presence. “I could select a few of my best trainees for this mission. Tanaka-san and Matsuura-san are now mature enough to fulfill a mission.”
“Perfect.” Satisfaction plastered Mariko’s face. “I’ll let you and Kitahara-san decide on the terms and organization. I trust you both to make this mission a success.”
“I will not disappoint you,” Rena said, and bowed her head. “Is there anything else you wished my assistance with?”
“No, that will be all.” Mariko rested back in her chair, looking pensive. “But there’s indeed something else I meant to ask. It’s been three months since the arrival of the Watanabe sisters at the clan. Kashiwagi-san appears to have developed a good relationship with her protégée, and I wanted to know how things are progressing with your own protégée? Have you been able to sort out your differences?”
Rena was momentarily caught off guard. “Our differences?”
“If I remember correctly, you once asked me if another samurai could be put in charge of her protection. You feared not being the right fit for the task. Has your opinion evolved on the matter?”
“Oh, I…” Rena was slightly destabilized. “She is still difficult to handle at times.” She admitted, before carefully adding. “I thank you for your concern, but I can affirm that our relationship is not as conflictual as it used to be at her arrival. The situation has improved since our last conversation.”
A smile ruffled Mariko’s mouth. “Yes, that’s what I thought, but I wanted to confirm it in person. Otherwise, I don’t believe you would have accepted to give private lessons to the young Watanabe.”
Rena’s eyes widened, and she diverted her gaze to the female kunoichi.
Mariko grinned at her in unashamed delight. “Please don’t blame Kitahara-san for her indiscretion. I was curious to discover how your relationship was evolving, and I might have harassed her with questions once or twice.”
Rena blanched, dreading how much the master kunoichi could have divulged on the nature of their relationship. However, she didn’t have time to think further that the head of the clan began to cough, worry filling her when the coughing kept going on and didn’t seem to want to cease. “Is everything alright?” She stood up from her kneeling position, alert. “Should I ask the doctor to come?”
“No, no. It’s fine.” Mariko brushed it off with a rapid wave of her hand. “It’s the change of season. Autumn has never been a season I favor the most. Maybe I should ask him to concoct one of his herbal potions.”
Rena relaxed a little.
“Thank you, Matsui-san. That will be all.” Mariko addressed her, then tilted her head towards the kunoichi by her side. “You can leave too, Kitahara-san.”
Both women bowed respectfully and retired in silence, Rena shooting one last glance at the head of the clan as the door closed on her, enough to see that she had already plunged herself back into her pile of work.
“Tell me what moment of the day suits you the best to organize this new mission, and I’ll arrange my schedule to your availabilities.”
Rena looked at the woman who was walking by her side, and pondered over her question. “This afternoon is fine.”
“Alright,” Rie nodded, before adding hesitantly. “This morning, we didn’t really talk, but I wanted to say…”
“We don’t need to mention it.” Rena winced, averting her gaze. “I already feel enough ashamed that you witnessed such an embarrassing moment.”
“It truly wasn’t my purpose to spy on you,” Rie said, concealing a smile. “And I want to clarify that I only told Shinoda-san that you were getting along better with the young Watanabe. I didn’t get into details and didn’t give any specifics.”
Astonishment touched Rena’s face; her pace unconsciously slowed down. “I thank you for your discretion, but you have to know that I would never ask you to hide anything from Shinoda-dono.”
“I know you wouldn’t,” Rie spoke softly, agreeing. “But I didn’t believe it was a matter of the most utter importance that Shinoda-dono absolutely ought to hear about.”
Rena gave her a grateful look.
“Shinoda-dono always had a perceptive nature.” Rena’s tone was more relaxed and casual as she continued. “A quality I often envy her. Some days, I even suspect that she knew exactly what she was doing when she placed the young Watanabe under my care.” She made a thoughtful pause. “I just still wonder what lead her to accept them within our clan. From what I’m aware, that’s a decision she never shared with anyone else, and we know nothing about them.”
“You’re right. That’s an information she always kept to herself,” Rie conceded, then added with conviction. “But I believe Shinoda-dono never does anything by chance. She probably had a good reason for allowing the Watanabe sisters to join our clan. A reason she might one day decide to share with us.”
They stopped walking and faced each other, Rena noticing the young shinobis waiting by the stables. “You’re going on a mission, Kitahara-san?”
Rie followed her gaze, smiling when she saw the male group looking in their direction. “Not quite. I’m about to teach them an exercise that will leave their body sore for the rest of the afternoon.”
Rena chuckled softly, knowing how much endurance and stamina the physical training required, not to mention how demanding and nerve-wracking it could be. “Please don’t be too hard on them.”
“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t ask them anything I wouldn’t do be prepared to do myself,” Rie joked lightly.
“Then I guess this is where we split ways,” Rena said, not bothering to hide her amusement. “We’ll see each other later as agreed.”
Rena followed Rie’s retreating form as the latter nodded back and left her side, realizing how pleasant their conversation had been. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had felt such at ease in the master kunoichi’s presence. Could this mark a new beginning and fresh start in their relationship?
**********
When Rena took the direction of her bedroom to retire for the night, it was already pitch dark outside. After the long, tiring day she had, she could feel exhaustion slowing down her steps and threatening to close her heavy pupils at any instant. Between her daily responsibilities as right-hand of Shinoda-dono, the kenjutsu lessons she gave, the recent mission plan she had to supervise with the master kunoichi, and the occasional problems that arose and required her attention, Rena barely had a minute to breathe.
Her mind was fuddled with sleep, her body eager to join the comfort of her futon, when her thoughts suddenly drifted to her protégée. She couldn’t help but wonder in curiosity about her whereabouts, saddened that their paths had barely crossed all day. These last few days, it often occurred to be the case, her high position within the clan keeping her extremely occupied, and preventing her from seeing her as much as she wished, except for the daily lessons of kenjutsu. At the remembrance of what had happened this morning, Rena felt both flustered and frustrated by her protégée’s behavior, repeating to herself that she needed to have a conversation with her.
As she arrived in front of her bedroom, Rena slid the door open and stepped inside, stopping dead in her tracks when she discovered a shadow of a body lying on her futon. Stunned, it took her a few seconds to react, the darkness preventing her from distinguishing the face hidden underneath the kakebuton. At last, her feet moved forward and she crossed the room, lightening the small candle on the night table, her features contorting in incredulity when she recognized the feminine presence. “J-Jurina-san? What are you doing here?”
A head slowly raised from the makura, and two eyes fluttered opened to fall upon her. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m sleeping with you tonight.”
Rena’s mouth dropped open at the nonchalant reply. “What? Since when did we agree to such a living arrangement?”
“Since we started kissing a week ago? But don’t worry, I warned my sister that I would be sleeping with you.”
“You told your sister what?!” Rena exclaimed in disbelief.
Jurina let out a small chuckle. “Calm down. She took it very well. Besides, you don’t have to be afraid. I don’t sleep naked anymore. You can check for yourself. I’m fully clothed beneath the bedcover.”
Rena felt the color rush to her cheeks. Did she really have to remind her of such an embarrassing day? “Jurina-san.” Rena cleared her throat, recollecting herself, trying to keep her voice calm and regular. “You can’t enter my bedroom whenever you seem fit. Just because our relationship has evolved into something more… into something more profound, there are boundaries to respect.”
“But I am respecting them. Otherwise, I would be naked in bed right now.”
At her protégée’s teasing tone, another flush of embarrassment spread across Rena’s face. Somehow, she was getting the feeling that nothing she would add would help her win this argument between them. Rena scrutinized the girl lying, eyes closed, on her futon, and pretending to go back to sleep. “I don’t know what’s holding me from throwing you out for your impudence.”
“Oh, you could. But I know you won’t do it.”
Rena felt her control slip away from her. She never lost her temper. Not once. Even when faced with the upmost difficult situations, she always managed to use calm and diplomacy to her advantage. Since the young Watanabe sister had been put under her care, her legendary patience had been tested on more than one occasion. And here she naively believed their relationship had evolved and they had made substantial progress on that aspect of her personality. That her protégée would flirt again with her limits strained her patience to breaking point.
“Look, I only want to sleep. I promise I won’t misbehave. You know I would never do anything against your will.”
Rena wanted to laugh, ready to retort that she surely didn’t listen to her protest in the maple forest this morning. However, for some reason, she kept those thoughts to herself, and the genuine sincerity she perceived in her protégée’s soft, gentle voice managed to strike a chord. “F-Fine, I will let you sleep here tonight.” Against all reason, she heard herself saying.
The younger girl peered at her; her lips curled with amusement. Rena ignored it, walking away and unbuckling the katana at her waist, and placing her weapon on the allocated stand. Rena could practically feel a pair of eyes boring into her back as she began to undress, removing her black kimono and her matching hakama, swapping her daily clothes for her nightly yukata. When she turned around and approached the futon, her protégée didn’t even bother hiding the fact that she had been shamelessly staring at her the whole time, the cunning smile playing on her lips enough to reveal her sneaky attitude.
Rena took a seat on the futon, making sure to put enough cautious distance between them as she laid down by her side. As they quietly faced one another, studying each other through the dim light of the candle, Rena felt her throat tighten, aware of her ambivalence and inner conflicts between contradicting desires. She was having difficulty dealing with the new feelings that had emerged within her, and a part of her couldn’t help fearing that this may be going a little too fast.
“Are you really afraid of me touching you?”
Rena heard the catch in her protégée’s voice and felt her heart ache. Now she feared her recent words and actions had been interpreted the wrong way. A week ago, she had taken a leap of faith, kissing back the girl who had unexpectedly captured her heart, and deciding to give this relationship a chance. Rena could tell they still had a lot to learn about each other, and it was crucial that they adapted to the wishes and needs of the other. But if there was one thing she refused, it was to let her protégée believe that she wasn’t serious about them. “It’s not that. You know of my affection for you.” Rena extended her hand, gently stroking her protégée’s cheek, brushing away a few strands of hair from her eyes. “But you have a tendency of not always listening and not being able to control yourself when we are alone. Like this morning, for example.”
A grin curved up the corners of Jurina’s mouth. “But you enjoyed it when I kissed you, don’t deny it.”
Rena shook her head disbelieving. “I’m not particularly fond of it when you just do it as you pleased, without caring much about my consent.”
“But you liked it,” Jurina insisted, drawing closer, not hesitating to invade her personal space on the futon. “Just as right now you’re staring at my lips and wondering if I’m going to kiss you again.”
Rena swallowed hard, chastising herself. She was desperately trying to make her understand how she felt about her sometimes forceful and possessive attitude. Not only her protégée wasn’t truly listening, her own body was choosing to betray her inner thoughts. She had allowed her guard to slip. And her protégée didn’t hesitate to take advantage of it. When the latter gently pulled her body closer, Rena didn’t find the strength within her nor the desire to resist, shivering despite herself when she brought their lips together. The kiss was slow and gentle, reminding her of their first mutual kiss. The kiss Rena had initiated that day, liberating, but also shy and hesitant.
The kiss wasn’t as hungry and demanding as she had accustomed her to, but full of gentleness and patience. Her protégée wasn’t as dominating as she sometimes proved to be; and Rena took control of the kiss without realizing it. Rena brushed her lips with hers, feeling a fluttering sensation in her stomach as her protégée softly kissed her back. Rena took her time, caressing her cheek with her fingers, allowing herself to kiss her again, to be so vulnerable during such a moment of intimacy. The feeling of a scar under her fingertips made her pause and she slowly pulled away, studying the mark, carefully tracing it, before her gaze met the one of her protégée.
Her proud and satisfied expression made Rena smile. “That’s what you were waiting for, weren’t you? For me to take the lead?” Rena stared into her eyes, her lips curving into a knowing smile when her protégée reached forward, and tried to capture her lips in another kiss. “I think that’s enough kissing for today.” She stopped her, gently placing her index finger across her lips. “Don’t you think?”
A small pout formed on Jurina’s lips, but she didn’t protest. Rena took a seat on the futon and turned around, blowing the candle, the bedroom plunging into complete darkness. Rena lied down and searched the feminine silhouette before her, trying to get fully accustomed to the new presence in her room. For a moment, she wondered if her cunning protégée would take advantage of their proximity to make another move on her. She waited, but the seconds transformed into minutes, and she remained quietly by her side, making her almost wonder if she hadn’t fallen asleep. Rena felt her own body getting heavier and heavier, surrendering to exhaustion. She fluttered her eyes close, her breathing slowing down, her arm unconsciously laying loosely across her protégée’s waist.
The sound of the front door opening, followed by the virtual voice welcoming Jurina in the house, reached Rena from the bedroom. At once, she looked up from her work and tilted her head to her vintage yet beloved red alarm-clock. 11:15 p.m. Jurina was even more late than yesterday. Rena found herself once more curious to discover what kind of project seemed to monopolize all her wife’s attention recently, and also knew she needed to address a certain situation that had occurred during dinner.
A little before 8 p.m., Jurina had called home to warn she would be late, and it was best they didn’t wait for her. Rena had followed her instructions, warning Alfred to prepare the table for two. Soon after, she and Natsuki had settled at the table while Alfred served the food, and it didn’t take long for Rena to be testimony of Natsuki’s difficult behavior. Natsuki wasn’t talkative, barely answering her questions about her day at school, and wasn’t being cooperative when it came to finishing the plate in front of her.
“Mama is not eating with us?” They were in the middle of dinner when Natsuki finally admitted what was troubling her.
“No, mama is working late. She’ll come and kiss you goodnight as soon as she arrives,” Rena smiled, trying to cheer her up. “Now, Natsuki needs to finish her vegetables.”
Natsuki pouted and played with her green beans. “But I don’t like them. And I’m not hungry anymore. Can I go and play in my room?”
“Natsuki won’t grow as tall as her mama if she doesn’t eat her vegetables,” Rena said, her voice firm but gentle.
“Mama never forces me to eat them if I don’t want to,” Natsuki mumbled, looking down at the floor.
Rena paused at the revelation and regarded her daughter, but she was cleverly avoiding her gaze. Rena let out a small, almost inaudible sigh, making a mental note to have a conversation with her wife later. “Alright. You can leave the table.”
“Thank you, mommy!” Natsuki smiled widely, jumping out of the chair. Rena followed her retreating form as she ran towards the staircase, only to see her retracing her steps back to her with a hesitant look. “Can Alfred come and play with me?”
Rena turned to their robot who was busy cleaning up the dishes, and who had instantly looked upon the calling of his name, his eyes now darting between both his mistresses. “Yes, Alfred can play with you.”
“Mistress? Are you sure?” The robot’s gaze dropped to the plates in his hands, then looked back at Rena questioningly.
“Yes, it’s fine. I’ll take care of it,” Rena assured with a smile.
The robot’s eyes remained fixed on her, visibly torn between carrying out his duty and obeying his mistress’s new order. At last, he emitted a sound of agreement and carefully replaced the plates on the table, Natsuki not wasting time in grabbing his hand and quickly leading him towards the staircase.
Rena realized she truly hadn’t seen time passing by after dinner. Much as she didn’t enjoy bringing work at home, she had an important business meeting to attend in the morning, and she wished to check one last time that she had all the elements. Rena turned off the tablet computer and, while waiting for Jurina’s arrival, decided to go and check up on Natsuki. She got out of bed and made her way outside, carefully pushing their daughter’s bedroom door, only to catch a glimpse of Natsuki sleeping soundly.
At the sight, a warm smile moved to Rena’s lips. As she was about to close the door, she distinguished the sound of footsteps approaching behind her. “You’re still awake?” Jurina whispered, surprised.
“Yes, I was finishing reading a few documents,” Rena nodded with a smile, kissing her back when Jurina pressed her lips against hers. Rena stepped aside to let her wife enter their daughter’s bedroom, Jurina leaning over Natsuki’s sleep form to plant a kiss on her forehead, before quietly retreating.
They both took the direction of their bedroom. While watching her wife getting prepared for the night, Rena slipped under the covers, before Jurina joined her in bed and switched the lights off. As they faced one another, Rena snuggled close to her and looped one arm around Jurina’s waist, asking the question that had been nagging her for far too long. “What have you been working on all these evenings? You still haven’t told me.”
Jurina tensed in her arms. “I-It’s a complicated project. I really don’t want to say anything until it’s finished.”
Rena frowned at her vague explanation. “I can’t have a hint?”
Jurina shot her an amused look, and tucked a strand of hair behind Rena’s ear. “My God, you are so curious. It doesn’t matter how many times you ask. I won’t tell you anything. You’ll have to be a bit more patient.”
“There’s really nothing I can do to convince you?” Rena slipped a sneaky hand inside Jurina’s pajama top, tracing her fingers along the length of her back in a sensual caress.
Jurina felt her heart beat more rapidly, drawn to those irresistible lips taunting her. She could no longer hold back and slowly lifted Rena’s nightdress, only to feel her jerk at her touch when her fingers came in direct contact with her thigh. “Sorry, my hands are cold?” She winced, and withdrew her hand. “The evenings have been quite chilly lately. Alfred usually reminds me to bring my gloves, but he forgot this morning.”
“Always poor Alfred’s fault,” Rena said cheekily, before remembering a particular topic she had wished to tackle with her wife. “I never realized until today how much you spoiled our daughter.”
“Eh?” Jurina’s eyes widened in surprise. “I don’t spoil her.”
“Oh, come on,” Rena chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief. “We both know that you’ve always been Natsuki’s favorite. Today, during dinner, she refused to eat her green beans. Apparently, you told her that she didn’t have to eat them if she didn’t want to.”
Jurina felt like a deer caught in the headlights. “W-Well, it’s true that she doesn’t like them very much, so I might have said…” she swallowed nervously at her wife’s inquiring look. “It won’t happen anymore. I’ll make sure she eats her vegetables properly next time.”
“Good.” Rena cradled Jurina’s cheek in her palm and kissed her, a satisfied expression on her face. “If you could also limit the number of candies you give her behind my back, I would very much appreciate it.”
Jurina made a face, realizing she had been caught in the act, before her eyes twinkled with mischief. “I think my wife is jealous.” When Rena arched an eyebrow, Jurina leaned in, pressing their bodies closer. “She also wants to be spoiled.”
Jurina moved on top of her and quickly attacked the crook of her neck, Rena laughing and twisting as Jurina relentlessly tickled her in the ribs. After a little while, Rena tapped her arm, asking for a respite, and Jurina complied, shooting a playful, mischievous look at her. Ultimately, Rena’s laughing died down and she stared into the pair of brown eyes never leaving hers, catching Jurina’s hand and slowly replacing it on her thigh. “It’s true the nights have been cold lately. I guess it can be the occasion to warm you up?”
Jurina’s eyes gleamed with expectation at her wife’s explicit tone, knowing exactly what she had in mind for tonight when she witnessed the hot desire burning in her eyes. Jurina swooped down, kissing her fiercely, Rena returning the kiss with equal passion. Unable to stop herself, Jurina’s hand moved on her thigh and raised the nightdress hem higher, pulling it over Rena’s head then removing her panties, her own nightshirt and underwear soon being disregarded and following the same path on the floor.
Jurina felt Rena’s chest heaving against her body, and she let her fingers dance across the skin of Rena’s cheek and down to the line of her jaw. She admired every curve of Rena’s breathtaking body, as if seeing her naked for the first time. She kissed her neck, suckled her breasts and caressed her body with such a soft, gentle yet firm touch, as if nothing else mattered but here and now.
Rena shuddered in pleasure and wove her fingers into the soft strands of Jurina’s hair, guiding her mouth back on hers. Jurina obliged and lowered her lips on to hers, drugging, kissing her into pure bliss, making Rena’s body quiver with anticipation as to what was to come next. Jurina’s heart quickened, and her hand moved down her torso, past her navel and below her waist, where Rena ached for her.
For a brief instant, a part of their previous conversation rushed back to Jurina’s mind, admitting to herself that it was getting harder to keep a secret from Rena when her curiosity only increased with the passing of the weeks. But Jurina refused to relent and ruin the surprise. She was so close to reaching her final objective. A few more weeks. It was all she needed to finish it. In time for Rena’s 30th birthday.
**********
Jurina stirred aware at the feeling of someone pulling at the bedcover repeatedly. She slowly fluttered her eyes open, only to discover Natsuki tightly holding Duran and standing by her side of the bed. Jurina blinked, briefly noting that it was past 2 a.m. as she tried to assess the situation, before guessing by her daughter’s frightened look that something had disturbed her sleep.
“What’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?” Jurina asked in a whisper, receiving a quick, silent nod in return. “Alright, go back to your room. I’m coming.”
Jurina sleepily watched Natsuki leave, and turned around in bed, relieved to find her wife still sleeping peacefully by her side. Rena’s arms were wrapped around her waist, and she slowly disentangled herself from Rena’s embrace, not resisting laying a gentle kiss on her cheek before she slipped out of bed. It took her longer than she anticipated to encounter in the obscurity her clothes scattered on the floor, a smile unconsciously moving to her lips at the remembrance of their passionate lovemaking.
After getting dressed, Jurina gave her sleeping wife one last lingering look, her mouth tugging into an amused smile as Rena unconsciously drew closer to her side of the bed in her sleep. Jurina approached the door and quietly made her way outside to enter Natsuki’s bedroom, only to find her daughter sitting in bed with a scared expression plastered all over her face. After taking a seat by the side of her bed, Jurina stroked her hair and spoke to her softly. “What did you dream about?”
Natsuki looked the other way, embarrassed. “I-I don’t want to say.”
“You know you can tell me everything,” Jurina said encouragingly, playing with the stuffed dog secured in Natsuki’s arms.
There was a short pause before Natsuki hesitantly spoke. “I dreamed that the prince wasn’t strong enough to save the princess.”
It took a few seconds for Jurina’s brain to register what she was referring to, until understanding crossed her features. Jurina felt a slight twinge of guilt, now remembering indeed that she never finished reading the bedtime story. These last few weeks, she had been working later than usual. And, by the time she arrived home, Natsuki was already fast asleep. “Why didn’t you ask mommy or Alfred to read you the story?”
“No! I want mama to read it!”
Jurina smiled a little defeatedly. It was during those moments that she recognized Natsuki’s characteristic stubbornness. A trait of personality that her daughter had apparently inherited from herself, according to her wife’s own words. “What if I read it to you when I get home tonight?”
Natsuki’s eyes brightened. “You will? You promise?”
“I tell you what.” Jurina’s voice lowered and she leaned forward, as if wanting to share a big secret with her. “I will even leave the office earlier to pick you up from school. What do you think? Would you like that?”
“Yes! Yes!” Natsuki nodded rapidly, head bobbing.
Jurina raised her pinky finger with a conspiratorial smile. “So does it mean we have an agreement?”
Natsuki giggled, wrapping her finger around Jurina’s, and spontaneously reached forward to kiss Jurina’s cheek. “Duran says it’s a deal.”
“Good.” Jurina wore a serious expression on her face as she gazed down to the stuffed dog and shook his leg, sealing the agreement, before looking up at her daughter grinning from ear to ear. “It’s now time to go to sleep. Or you’ll be very tired at school tomorrow morning.”
She didn’t need to say it twice that Natsuki was already laying down and making herself comfortable in bed, Duran closely pressed against her. Jurina smiled knowingly at her, figuring out by her daughter’s current excitement that it would take a few good minutes for her to fully calm down and fall asleep. Jurina tucked her in bed properly, soon meeting her daughter’s expectant look. “Can you stay with me?”
“Yes, I will.” Jurina dropped a kiss on her forehead, witnessing a huge smile appearing on Natsuki’s face. “And you don’t have to worry. The prince is very, very brave. He will never stop fighting until his princess is free from the evil king.”
Jurina watched her fondly as Natsuki slowly closed her eyes, reveling in her happiness of having such an adorable and beautiful daughter. There was no denying that she found great accomplishment in her job, and nothing gave her greater satisfaction than to reach the objectives she had set and to carry out a project to its end with success. However, if there was one thing that fulfilled her even more as a human being, it was to be surrounded by the two people she loved the most in this world. Because her wife and her daughter were her biggest pride in life.
