âDemisexual? Asexual? thatâs not real you just want attention!â
Youâre right. I do want attention. I want to educate you about the asexual spectrum.
I want you to pay attention to aces when we talk about our experiences.
I want people to listen and learn about us and themselves.
I want asexuality to be commonly understood and accepted.
I want people to find the words that describe their experiences instead of going through their lives feeling broken when nothings wrong.
I want people at pride to not sneer at people with asexual flags.
I want queer advocacy groups to remember we exist every day, not just during ace week or pride month. I want you to listen to our struggles and help us create a world where we can struggle less.
I want to say âIâm demisexualâ and have people not only know what that means, but accept it. I want you to learn about experiences outside of your own.
I want to plant the seeds of an ace affirming garden that the next generation will get to see.
I want an end to conversion therapy, to HSDD being a medical diagnosis, to medications being prescribed or denied because we experience little to no sexual attraction. I want doctors to not look at us with pity when we say âIâm ace, I donât have sex.â
I want therapists to accept us and not blame our orientation on trauma.
I want to not have to educate every medical professional on what my orientation is, and assure them that I donât need it fixed. I want them to not see us as lacking or broken.
I want you to see our experiences as different, not as lacking or broken or less than.
I want an end to corrective rape as a way to âfixâ someone thatâs ace.
I want people who are ace to not feel like they have to have sex because itâs there and expected from their partner.
I want young aces to have good lives. I want old aces to understand their past relationships. I want parents to accept their kids when they say âmom, Iâm asexual/demisexual/aegosexual/aroace/etc.â
I want aces who have had and enjoyed sex to feel just as at home as aces who are sex repulsed.
I want aces to not have to give a Ted Talk on the first date about their orientation and the spectrum of sex repulsed to sex favorable and where they fall on it.
I want you to understand that libido and sexual attraction can be separate.
I want you to understand that asexuality is a spectrum, and experiencing rare/limited sexual attraction or having sex doesnât mean weâre not ace anymore.
I want you to stop equating asexuality with virginity, celibacy, and abstinence.
I want you to understand the difference between sexual action and sexual attraction. I want you to understand we can have romantic attraction without sexual attraction.
I want you to understand that we may have neither romantic nor sexual attraction and that doesnât mean weâre mentally ill or inhuman.
I want you to understand thereâs nothing wrong with us, that we donât need fixing, that we donât feel like weâre missing out because of our orientation, but rather because you donât accept us.
I want you to understand, and accept what you donât understand anyway.
Of course I want your attention. Thought that was pretty obvious.
jacobvanloon
areudirty
andulkaphoto
origamiaround
