musings..

If u disagree w/ me ur prolly wrong

[sosolipsistic]

God forbid you like reading/ actually engage with the required texts in an English course… suddenly everyone looks at you like you’ve admitted to having a threesome with their parents.

[sosolipsistic]

There’s this girl in my class who keeps calling all of my interests pretentious. It’s genuinely rage baiting me because wdym liking poetry,philosophy, or anything remotely deep is ‘attempting to impress by affecting greater importance’. Where in the sentence “I like reading” made you think I feel as if I’m better than you??? Mind you she’s an English major too.

[sosolipsistic]

Just watched The Importance of Being Earnest on YouTube through the National Theatre channel. I’m obsessed. Oscar Wilde would be proud 💕

[sosolipsistic]

I kiss

the pretty girl

who swipes

her thumb

across my

face

Left to right

As if to say

I choose you

As if I looked

like a photo

on a screen

searching

for love

(I’ve found it between her lips)

[sosolipsistic]

Reading Citizen: An American Lyric is so interesting because it has sparked so many conversations amongst my friend group about micro aggressions. It’s appalling to learn something you’ve been told is a micro aggression. Similarly, it’s appalling and uncomfortable to learn something you’ve said is a micro aggression. This knowledge will haunt me forever and make me wonder if I’m as good of a person as I thought.

[sosolipsistic]

Haven’t posted on Tumblr in a million years but had to point out Phil Ochs’ Ballad of the Carpenter is underrated and needs to be talked about more.

[sosolipsistic]

In the Count of Monte Cristo I realize that both Fernand and Villefort essentially were tried for their crimes and thus given the trial that Edmond Dantes was never given. 💔 are we serious

In comparison Danglars is immediately jailed by bandits and forced to live for a brief time without the possibility of given a ransom to leave (like Dantes did) and told he’d starve to death (like how Dantes father did). In his cell where he was put in unprovoked and ‘unjustly’ he is dealt the most ‘eye for an eye’ justice of the three. Even still he is let off - arguably the easiest- and is forgiven by Dante and let out with a bit of money to survive off of.

This means something I just don’t have the brain power to think up what. I fucking love this book

[sosolipsistic]

I don’t want to suffer for my inadequacy

I swear I tried to work it out of me

I failed

I’ll try again tomorrow because you’ve made me stubborn the same way you’ve made me inadequate the same way you’ve made me

afraid

[sosolipsistic]

[sosolipsistic]

I’m so at odds with my disappointment in myself. On the one hand I wish I did better on my audition that I spent all my free time practicing and had fully memorized but BLANKED and left the room in utter horror after staring blankly at the judges trying to remember my line 💔

On the other hand I know someone else would give everything to be in my position for that to be the only thing they’re worried about.

It’s still torturing me though.

[sosolipsistic]

Every so often someone confides in me about a problem which I heard about from niche quotes from Pinterest and I want to recite the quotes because they’d be helpful but I don’t remember the exact wording so I just simmer in disappointment.

[sosolipsistic]

Therapy dogs >>

[sosolipsistic]

Splash…

[sosolipsistic]

Baby bunnies >>

[sosolipsistic]

Story time: a random asked my friend for the time as we were walking and she checked her watch to which he laughed and said “there’s a clock right there” and pointed to Big Ben.

[sosolipsistic]

My classroom is lowkey aesthetic

[sosolipsistic]

I know the whole point of The Secret History is to act as a warning against living for the aesthetics but I lowkey need a chaotic dark academia friend group right about now…