Freelance Rant
People are annoying, they mean well, but they’re annoying.
“Are you applying for jobs?”, “take a course!”, “What do you wanna do?”.
Nothing, for once, I don’t want to do anything. All I’ve done is work, and now that I want to sit back and review the absolute fuck fest my life has become, everyone is kindly suggesting I “get a job”, as if it’s that easy.
For context, I’m a freelance artist. In details, prior to the pandemic I was producing live events, then the pandemic hit, and everything flipped upside down.
I did virtual events here and there, I got picked up by a speakers agency, I do part time work, but somehow that’s still not enough? I pay my bills on time, I got a grant, I’m finally able to rest, and for the first time I feel like I’m not being supported? Yet in the same breath the very same people are asking me to relax.
Forgive me for being confused but do you want me to work a corporate job, or rest because the two are exclusive. Maybe I’m projecting my fears, but I genuinely feel like I’m being asked if I have a plan B. I feel like people who are not solely artists/freelance, simply don’t understand the amount of work that goes into being freelance.
It’s not that I don’t want the comfort of having a steady income, but it comes at a hefty price. My sanity is hanging on by a thread these days, the last thing I need is hours in a structure I can’t seem to fold to.
The other issue at hand is that my father passed and I have to manage his estate which is a full time job in itself.
I just don’t fuckin know.