Shades of the Day

French bi girl // 23 yo // Instagram : @melisandepsbr // (not posting much right now, come talk to me whenever you want)

[dirty]

I want a love where ending it isn’t even an option

[aheartandheart]

[soulofadreamerblog]

[1617]

[understands]

[lindmatic]

[geritsel]

Kawase Hasui - Winter in Japan, color woodblock prints from various series.

[11990904]

[compulsive]

[catasters]

[satrialespork]

[champagnepapucho-deactivated201]

[soulofadreamerblog]

[soulofadreamerblog]

[soulofadreamerblog]

[soulofadreamerblog]

[soulofadreamerblog]

I miss her.

I miss her all the time. Every inches of my body misses her.

Why is this so hard ? I was barely falling in love with her. But I was so complete when I was with her... I felt whole. I know I could fall in love, on our second night together. But I kept that in a little box in my head, cause I fell in love once before and it broke my heart. She is so perfect. I knew it couldn't be just sex even if I really wanted that. The line is blurry. Feelings are so... changing? Hard to understand? Idk.

I do like her. Perhaps it was truly more than that. It is hard to tell. She is so great. So smart. So funny. And so beautiful. To be with her was a surprise and I took all our moments as gifts. From life and from her. Together, we were. I did not need much I think ; anyway, every thing she was willing to give me was more than enough.

And I know how feelings and love work. I do. That is why I have no problem to understand and I do not blame her for that. I just wonder how desire can disappear like that... after all, it was what brought us together in the first place, in this situation. Her desire. So what has happened?

Un être vous manque et tout est dépeuplé, right ?

I feel like I am missing something know. I might delete this in a few... but it feels good to let it all out tho.