Six Years
haven’t really looked at this for six years. Didn’t really have a reason to; I was too content; Too happy with mediocrity; No desire to push forward. A lot has changed over six years. Fuck political drama, this isn’t that kind of blog. [whoblogsanywayin2020] I went from broke to making easy buckets of cash; still, IAMNOTHAPPY.
Estatic that in this time of ‘world pandemic’ [FEAR], that i have saved to pay my bills for a few months. Devastated that I am one of the lucky ones. [whatsaniggatodo]
Don’t have enough for world peace. or to save the homeless. Can’t go anywhere. So what does this liquid even do. Losing myself here
TwentyTwenty. still not happy. No reason why/ just not. Found a girl, better than anything i could’ve wished for. stillnothappy. Constantly beating oneself for what reason. LIFEISSHORT
My dog died. He was ten. It was about three years ago. [itdestroyedme] It was sudden, he didnt have cancer, he didnt seem sick, and yet i cant seem to think like i didnt fail him. it crosses my mind at least once a day. [atleast] spirling
alcoholism took over. moderate drug use. it was a waste of time. only held me back. took control for two years. lived paycheck to paycheck, had nothing, was [happy] met a girl, mentioned that.
she scared me to death. shes intelligent, shes hilarious, shes exceptionally strong, the cherry on top?; shes the most beautiful thing ive ever laid eyes on. scared me. scared me to death. not one to run from a challenge, she changed me. she made me not want mediocrity. without her knowing her impact, she drove me to want things i’ve told myslef id never accomplish because of my history.
fast forward, it ain’t all peaches and cream. dont know where things went wrong. everyone can point a finger, but what good is that. it still went wrong.
faith keeps me in it. love wants me to let her go. self doubt fucks with me.
