I'm only one guy, to say I'm on fumes is a LIE.

I, Giovanni Potage shall be the GREATEST VILLAIN THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN! (Independant Giovanni from Epithet Erased, little to no Anime Campaign canon will be here. Spoilers allowed)

[nexusofmuses]

“Everybody shut up! Shut up, this is important!!”

“If Hank Green calls air a soup….”

“DOES THAT MEAN I COULD CONTROL AIR? Like a… Like a fuckin… Bender of Soup-air?! WHERE IS SYLVIE? I NEED HIM!”

[soupervillainpotage]

Giovanni walks in with coffee. Blinks...

He throws the coffee over his shoulder

“Fuck this I’m going back to bed.” 

[soupervillainpotage]

percival-queen​:

soupervillainpotage​:

@percival-queen​

Giovanni dials the Sweet Jazz Police tip line.

He’s not an idiot, trying to just find her at the police station would definitely get him arrested.

There’s no guaranteeing that this wouldn’t get him arrested as well.

He shakes his head and raises the phone to his ear as it rings.

It rings..

This is a stupid idea.

It rings…

click.

“Uh. Uhm. I gotta tip?” He tries to make his voice sound lower. To at least try and disguise his identity. “About that uh. That Giovanni Potage kid youse been lookin’ for. He’s in that old abandoned playground off That Road and Tenth Street. But uh- You should only send one officer. He. He looks really jumpy. Like he might run if he hears sirens, you got that?”

God he was a sucker…

“Just send one cop and uh… ya know… don’t spook him. Or he’ll run. I mean. Or it looks like he will. bye.” He mashes the hang up button and then resists the urge to throw the phone on the ground.

“Fuck. Guess I wait….”

Seeing her sword already brandished gave him a moment of pause, instinctively raising his arms over his head. “Don’t hurt me I promise I’m not going to cause trouble!”

This was a bad idea a very very bad stupid idea. He was going to die here or at the very least be jailed forever. He should’ve just gone on the run. Off the grid, in the mountains somewhere very very far away.

“Please cop lady, I’m really trying to turn over a new leaf! I even called in the tip on my self you gotta believe me!”

Why would she believe you? You’re an idiot! You’d be better off ▇▇▇▇ !

He shakes his head, throwing his hands down. “Please, you gotta help me! Ever since I… Well. This is gonna sound nuts but ever since Sylvie and I swapped Epithets that one time everything has just gone wrong! I really need help!”

{@soupervillainpotage​}

Something about Gio’s desperate voice throws Percy off. Or maybe it’s just the body language, how he throws up his lanky arms the instant her sword draws near and cowers near the play structure like he’s a victim instead of a perpetrator—

Come to think of it… How— how old even is—?

No, no, not going down that line of thought right now. This is a wanted criminal, and he’s old enough to make his own decisions. Still, the hand holding her sword wavers.

“Please cop lady, I’m really trying to turn over a new leaf! I even called in the tip on my self you gotta believe me!”

“Wait— you called in the—?”

It’s in Gio’s favor that Percy’s first instinct is always to assume that people are telling the truth. Her sword lowers completely, the tip sinking into the grass.

“…Okay, talk.”

“Please, you gotta help me! Ever since I… Well. This is gonna sound nuts but ever since Sylvie and I swapped Epithets that one time everything has just gone wrong! I really need help!”

“…”

…ever since Sylvie and I swapped Epithets?

…was THAT why he wasn’t returning her calls?!?

“What— when did this happen?!? Did you manage to switch back? Did you— wait—”

Ohhhh, Heaven help her.

Don’t tell me that poor boy went and got soulbonded to—

To a criminal—

The one who held him hostage?

Giovanni flinches again, curling his arms tighter around his head.

This was such a stupid idea. A fucking Sucker’s idea. But he needed something. Something to keep him afloat. Something to make sure he wouldn’t turn into.... that.

“I... I’m not sure how we switched back! We were heading to the police station to use the Arsene Amulet and then....”

“Then everything gets a little fuzzy.” He left out Vincent.... For now. That annoying part of him wasn’t important. He could push Vincent down as long as he could get help to push Vincent out.

“I... i never wanted to hurt people. I just wanted to be cool.” His voice is soft. His body heat rises to a comfortable temperature, warming the air around him. “Please... I just want to help...”

[soupervillainpotage]

 ⊙０⊙? (also-glad ur alive!)

“Whew... I’m glad I made it on time...” She sighs, feeling a little tension leaving her shoulders. “If I had been late Keith never would have let it go!” Katarina laughs to herself, picturing her little brother scolding her again.

And then she actually looks around.

“What...?”

“Where... am I?” It looked a little like her old world but... not quite... “Where’s the school?”

She begins to frantically look side to side.

“WHERE AM I?!”

Katarina Claes from My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

[soupervillainpotage]

Haha I hope you’re all ready for a little ‘uh-oh spaghetti-ohs!’

[soupervillainpotage]

percival-queen​:

Percy almost lets out a surprised yell at suddenly being addressed. She thought she had yet to be spotted.

“Uh. Uh. Cop… person? It’s uhm. Me, Giovanni Potage. I… I need help?”

…What.

“If… if you’d hold off arresting me for… a little bit.”

Stepping out from the clearing with her sword brandished, Percy makes her way toward the criminal. She doesn’t see any backup— but this IS the man who managed to give her the slip not just once, but TWICE, all by his lonesome. He was inscribed, too, with an epithet that allowed him to make some sort of thick getaway smoke and who-knows-what-else.

“What kind of help are you talking about? I’ll have you know I’m not the sort to accept bribery. I will not tolerate any criminal activities.”

In fact, the only reason she hasn’t cuffed him yet is because in the corner of her eye, she’s still trying to search for any sign of the person who called in the tip. She doesn’t want any civilians in the way if this should turn into a scuffle.

Seeing her sword already brandished gave him a moment of pause, instinctively raising his arms over his head. “Don’t hurt me I promise I’m not going to cause trouble!”

This was a bad idea a very very bad stupid idea. He was going to die here or at the very least be jailed forever. He should’ve just gone on the run. Off the grid, in the mountains somewhere very very far away.

“Please cop lady, I’m really trying to turn over a new leaf! I even called in the tip on my self you gotta believe me!”

Why would she believe you? You’re an idiot! You’d be better off ▇▇▇▇ !

He shakes his head, throwing his hands down. “Please, you gotta help me! Ever since I... Well. This is gonna sound nuts but ever since Sylvie and I swapped Epithets that one time everything has just gone wrong! I really need help!”

[sphinxmemesmusings]

Send me ⊙０⊙ to see a glimpse of a canon character I’ve played/considered playing

[justanotherrpmeme]

Send ♋ for our muses to swap bodies!

[soupervillainpotage]

percival-queen​:

“I thought I was off the Arsene Amulet case!” “Cool your jets, Perc’. That Potage kid doesn’t have the amulet anymore, remember? But he’s still wanted for being a member of the Banzai Blasters. Besides, it’s a solo job— you’re always trying to play the lone wolf, aren’tcha? Unless you’re telling me you’re ready to be paired up with her again…~”

“…Where’s the kid?”

Percy scans the abandoned playground carefully as she sneaks around, hiding behind one tree and then the next. She’s actually very conspicuous— stealth isn’t exactly her strong suit— but she doesn’t seem to know that.

There really AREN’T any other Blasters about, not that she doubted the tip that had apparently been called into the station. Still, she wonders why a wanted criminal would be plotting his schemes in a place like this rather than a secret base. The thought of using a children’s play-place as a headquarters of evil… the very thought is overwhelming.

She hopes this will be a quick arrest.

Giovanni pulls at the neckline of his ratty hoodie. He figured the best way to do this would be to not immediately look like a teen rebel/pyramid scheme lacky/idiot. He sucks a breath in through his teeth.

His eyes dart to different parts of the park, watching for any signs of sirens or multiple cops.

This is so stupid, run! Run away now!

He presses a knuckle into his forehead. “Stop. Stop stop this’ll... God...”

He feels sick. This was a mistake, there was no way this would work.

But he had to try. He had to at least try.

On high alert as he is. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he actually sees a police uniform. Even through he was the one who invited them there. He stands up from the swing.

“Uh. Uh. Cop... person? It’s uhm. Me, Giovanni Potage. I... I need help?”

His voice is shaking. He’s gonna get arrested. He’s gonna get arrested and go to jail FOREVER.

“If... if you’d hold off arresting me for... a little bit.”

[soupervillainpotage]

Why..Giovanni why are you turning yourself in!? RUN! FUCK THE POLICE!

“listen. I may be a stupid 20-something but. I do kinda have a plan. maybe.”

[soupervillainpotage]

“If I lose my hand I did it for a noble cause....”

[soupervillainpotage]

Sucker’s Prayer || Percival-Queen

@percival-queen​

Giovanni dials the Sweet Jazz Police tip line.

He’s not an idiot, trying to just find her at the police station would definitely get him arrested.

There’s no guaranteeing that this wouldn’t get him arrested as well.

He shakes his head and raises the phone to his ear as it rings.

It rings..

This is a stupid idea.

It rings...

click.

“Uh. Uhm. I gotta tip?” He tries to make his voice sound lower. To at least try and disguise his identity. “About that uh. That Giovanni Potage kid youse been lookin’ for. He’s in that old abandoned playground off That Road and Tenth Street. But uh- You should only send one officer. He. He looks really jumpy. Like he might run if he hears sirens, you got that?”

God he was a sucker...

“Just send one cop and uh... ya know... don’t spook him. Or he’ll run. I mean. Or it looks like he will. bye.” He mashes the hang up button and then resists the urge to throw the phone on the ground.

“Fuck. Guess I wait....”

[soupervillainpotage]

Giovanni taps his phone against his forehead, idly pushing himself back and forth on a rusty swing in an abandoned playground.

Something’s gotta give.

It could be him or him.

He has to make the choice eventually.

After all.

He’s got nothing left to lose.

[soupervillainpotage]

Whats bloo ozeean? The new breathmint flavor?

“...”

[soupervillainpotage]

Giovanni is sitting on his porch, staring up at the sky. But he can’t see it. He’s looking but not comprehending.

And that’s fine. The more he understood about how everything around him worked....

He sighs..

He’s fine.

This is fine..

“But you could be more.” His own voice cuts through his mind like a knife. “You could be so. much. more. I mean, that’s why you joined the Bonzai Bastards in the first place, right? For some stupid fucking clout?”

Giovanni squeezes his eyes shut. This is a dream.

“Let go of your stupid ass Bushido Blasters bullshit. You could do so much more on your own! Hell with your epithet you could control people! You could make them listen to you! You don’t have to fuck around in some fucking Pyramid Scheme bullshit!”

Giovanni covers his ears. But the voice that is and is not his own is still crystal clear.

“You could use Soup to take over the world! You could make all those fucking bastards who called it useless pay! Just get a little more ambitious! Just let me take the reins.”

Giovanni shoots up and starts to run.

“I can do everything you’ve ever wanted!”

He runs.

“I can make other people listen!”

He RUNS.

“Just. Let. me--”

he trips.

And Giovanni wakes up on the floor, tangled in his sheets and drenched in sweat. He feels sick.

He looks out the window, it’s still dark outside.

“Maybe... those Bliss Ocean guys have a point...”

[soupervillainpotage]

“...”

“Wow, that other me sucks at his job.”

[soupervillainpotage]

Hey Giovanni did you know your not real. Your a cartoon character in a show called epithet erased. And this you, isn't even the canon you. Your on a fan site with someone roleplaying as you. Look up epithet erased on your phone if you don't believe me.

“Actually I’m a blend of Giovanni from Epithet Erased and Giovanni from Anime Campaign, Thank you very much. Also it’s ‘you’re’ as in ‘you are’ not ‘your’ as in ‘belonging to’ the first three times you used it.”

“And even if I did look it up on my phone I’d just get a buncha Bliss Ocean propaganda, you think this thing--” Giovanni holds up a veritable brick of a cell phone, “-- can break the fourth wall?”