Big Booty Bitch

Hi I'm Paula, 16, she/her, bi, white Latina, I really like food and movies

[colorsplash]

[colorsplash]

[jesterlesbian]

are you the friend that opens water bottles or the friend who has to hand over water bottles to get them opened

[bitransitivo]

no offense but howyou answer this absolutely defines your sexual position

[captainragtag]

hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue

[iidelirium]

BEST NIGHTBLOG POST EVER

[sevenpoints]

“IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!” MEN SHOUT

“NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!” WOMEN REPLY

[futchgunk]

you: cat got your tongue

me, an intellectual: pussy got your thrussy

[casdcan]

real talk my mom never invaded my privacy, always knocked and waited for my “come in” instead of barging into my room, never tried to read my texts or journals or notes, and I always came to her with sensitive subjects; to the point of telling her I lost my virginity the /day/ I lost my virginity

what I’m saying is: respect your kids’ privacy and they will come to you with shit you’re worried about them doing

[plvtarch]

AP exams are 😱 finally 😱😰 here 🕐 u college board BITCHES 😷 and it’s gonna be AP 🔥 LIT 🔥‼️ remember 💭 to get a 👌 GOOD 😉😏 NIGHT’S 💤😪 SLEEP 😴 before the 📝 TEST 💀💀 DON’T spend all NIGHT 🌚 on ya COMPUTER 💻 for 😉😉 SCIENCE 🍌 ❌❌ and DON’T get 😏 PHYSICal 💦 with ya BIOLOGY 👉👌 or ur gonna 😰 lose 😭😭 all ur (gibb’s free) ENERGY 😵😵 AND CUM 💦😏 calcuLATE 🙊❌ to the 😷 exam 😷‼️‼️ HISTORY 🌎🌎 and statisDICKS 🔢 have 👀 shown 👀🔍 that u might be PSYCHed 🤔😨 OUT 😭 during the TEST 😫😱 and that u won’t be able to 🔍 deRIDE ✏️ the 😛 V (velocity) and the 🍆 D (dickstance) 💦💦💦 BUT DON’T ❌ go APES 🐵♻️ and 😵 lose ur 🍆 HEAD like ya boi Louis XVI 🇫🇷🙇💀 BECAUSE that WON’T 🙅 happen if u 🤔 reMEMBER 👅💦 ur 🍌 DICKtion 😋 and 📐 SINtax 😈😈, if u juDICKtial REVIEW 📜 ur notes like Marbury v. DADDYson 😫❤, and if u keep ur 👀 ION 🔬 the C(L)OCK ⌚️🕑‼️ but if u aren’t aFREUD 😨😜 to aPUSH 🇺🇸 urself 😘💪 to the limits 💃 u will get more than Wilson’s 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ POINTS 🔥🔥💯 so GOOD LUCK stuDYING 🔫💀, SUCC 🍭some COCKulus 😫🙌, van GOGH 🏃 be a FReaQ 📝💦, and get urself not a one 😔 BUT A 🍆 FIVE 👅🙏💦

[subarucloutback-deactivated2018]

some kid in my class next to me went to their calendar app and set a reminder on january 12th, 2058 at 7pm to die and then just closed it.

[starlightandtears]

The Thrussycat Dolls

[haramzada-deactivated20230629]

ASFHSTSWGFS

[you-have-startled-the-witch]

*uses HTML to italicize a few words*

[unclefather]

[iamnolongerhere-l-deactivated20]

when someone asks me about my best friend

[powerburial]

i regret telling a coworker i was vegetarian because now a year later theyre vegan and they live in portland and every single day they post a video on facebook of them like running up to a truck full of cows and crying and apologizing to them

[iamoutofideas]

who’s papa john

[iamoutofideas]

I just realized that I commented on the wrong post.

[pizzanet-blog1]

whoever created chinese food is my hero

[panducky]

probably the chinese

[tastefullyoffensive]

[spaghettimoans]

me,swimming:wow this is amazing i love the ocean

me, when seaweed touches my foot: I imagine death so much it feels more like memory

[vegyta-deactivated20181007]

Class discussions are fun until u find out ur classmates are racists

[snout]

what are these “shower thoughts” everybody’s talking about, i dont think about anything in the shower, my mind is completely blank as i douse my body in scalding hot water and stare at a wall

[rrraquelle]

[thriftstorewarfare-blog]

…did…did Barbie just break the fourth wall. 

[cosmicplants-deactivated2014031]

that is stacy you uncultured swine