something in piper seems to ignite, a fire in her stomach that doesn’t revive her but leaves her drained and sapped of energy. she feels like wood crumbling into ash. more than anything, she wants to be held, to climb into bed with leo and bury her face in his neck and wrap her arms around him and simply sleep, relishing in his body heat and let him light her up from the inside-out. she crosses her arms over her stomach, under her chest, tries to focus on the tangible feel of her body. better not to weird him out.
she doesn’t even notice that her breaths are stuttery and that her eyes are wet until she tries to speak, and all of a sudden her throat clamps up and she wants more than ever to slip into sleep, into a calm nothingness. but sleep won’t be calm unless she has leo, but she will not allow sleep and leo to be in the same sentence. that… is just too weird.
“yeah,” she whispers, her hand moving up to her mouth as she chases the way her voice breaks with the onset of tears. god, this is– this is stupid. she doesn’t know why she came here, it’s just that leo is her only friend and he just gets her in a way that no one else does, setting off fireworks in her heart and making her feel warm inside. “you know what– i’m. i’m sorry, i should’nt’ve–” she swallows, tries to compose herself, eyes focused on the ceiling. “you don’t need to get up if– if you don’t want to. i can go… back. to my room. i just…”
my thoughts are scaring me. i don’t feel safe. you’re the only place that feels like home.
“… wanted company, i guess.” your company, she almost clarifies, but bites her tongue just in time.
“whoa, hey—” he stops moving when he hears piper’s voice, joking smile turning to concern as he looks toward her. “piper, are you—” he starts to reach for piper’s hand without thinking about it, although he backs out just before grabbing it. just because he’s a tactile person, doesn’t mean anyone else wants contact when they’re upset.
“okay, well, first of all, if i didn’t want to be up i wouldn’t have got up,” he says, smile creeping back to his face, although he can’t really keep the concern at bay. “don’t go back to—” he can feel heat rise to his face and he tries to change the direction of that sentence to sound less... desperate to make her stay. “really, you don’t have to go back to— i’m here to be company if— if you want.” lame, says a voice in the back of his head, and really only marginally less desperate.
is it really so bad he wants her to stay? piper is the person he’s closest to here. actually, she’s probably the person he’s closest to at all. even if he was having the best night’s sleep ever (it’s him, so that’s never happening, but whatever), if she wanted to get up he’d get up. he might fake complain about it, but he’d get up.
would saying that make her feel better or would it just be weird? weird, probably. he’s never been the best at reading people. or comforting people. or people, like, in general. he tends to be oddly okay with piper, but she’s upset, or something, and he’s not sure what to do. his fingers tap on the side of his leg, mostly to stop himself from reaching for her hand again.
“ so what’s up?” he doesn’t want to say ‘what’s wrong’, so this is the closest approximation.
