Special Agent A.C.E. / Germaine Shepherd

Germaine Shepherd & A.C.E. Independent Android OCs affiliated with (but not limited to) Marvel's Avengers/S.H.I.E.L.D. 

[humanoidhistory]

The art of Neal McPheeters (1939-2021)

[specialagentace]

IMMEDIATE NOSTALGIA

[specialagentace]

How to professionally say .... "Eat my whole ass"

[specialagentace]

All Hands on Deck means ....

My hands on deck.

Nice.

[valcntines]

this is a social experiment reblog this if u were rping on tumblr before 2016

[specialagentace]

OOC:

I am -this- freaking close to putting my 2 weeks notice in on a job I've had since 2012.

The prospect is terrifying because that means I won't have income and I'll have to rely on savings and the job market is WILDLY difficult right now....

but I am literally stressing myself to the point of puking every single day and it's not sustainable.

[agentphilcollins]

Phillipa had done everything in her power to control the urge to act on the sudden rise of worry for the Bossman.

She might have hated him at first - well Hate wasn't the right word. She hadn't liked him. But she had respected his willingness to give her a chance when nobody else would and he stuck with her through all of her difficulty in trusting. She hadn't been easy to work with. Still wasn't, but he'd found some magical recipe for tempering her steel and grit.

Otherwise, it didn't matter to her that underneath that squishy soft surface and gentle face was probably a hard metal endoskeleton. She'd have punched .. or attempted to punch (He was deceptively fucking fast) him right in the nose.

Instead, she turned that bitter energy toward shoving things in boxes and watching the door to the office like a hawk.

"He's still in there." Phillipa affirmed with a deep smirk. "I don't think he knows what to do." Germaine had come to the door, hands shaking - eyes frantically looking after Sterling as if he was going to follow, and then he'd paced back into the office, back to the door, back into the office and finally - he'd come back to the door and very gently closed it again.

Phillipa found her anger surprising. Germaine had been nothing but kind and patient with her. Had shown her just as boundless a well of forgiveness for her .... quirks .... as Sterling had, but that old-wounds rage rushed to the surface like a volcano - bursting immediately with the heated anger of betrayal she'd felt for her father all those years ago.

She'd have to ask later, and hope for some kind of answer. And silently apologize to the android later, when her inner Hulk wasn't screaming to let it out on someone.

@agentsterling

[agentsterling]

Sterling was both relieved and disappointed to hear that Germaine hadn't left. Despite having instructed them to not let him leave, he secretly hopes the android had been on his way back to DC so he didn't have to think about this, didn't have to deal with this, anymore.

But that wasn't exactly an option, was it?

"Thank you. I'll be just a moment and then I'll be back to helping, I promise." They had a lot left to do, after all, and Sterling was never one to just delegate work out to his team. He was part of that team, after all. He always got his hands dirty when he could.

He took a deep breath as he placed his hand on the door handle and turned it quickly.

"Um. Apologies for my outburst, Shep--Germaine." He swallowed hard, rubbing his scratchy chin in his discomfort over the station. "I'm not angry at you. I promise. You've done everything right by me in telling me as soon as you were able. Who knows how long this would have been going on behind my back if not for you. Thank you." That being said, he sighed, moving the hand from his chin to his forehead as he tried to figure out how to say what he needed to say.

"I need to get the team established in the main base, make sure Honey has everything she needs, and then I'm coming to DC. I need to watch it for myself. And I... Might have stern words with your supervisor about this development when I get there. I hope that won't reflect poorly on you for informing me."

It took everything in him to keep the formality in his voice. He'd gotten a good deal of the raw emotion out on the rooftop but it was by no means depleted.

@agentphilcollins @specialagentace

[specialagentace]

Germaine had fussed with as much stuff as he felt he was allowed to touch - something ... anything to keep his hands busy while he waited. Until he'd run out of things to fidget with and just.... Sat.

Perfectly upright posture, centered on the seat of the chair, feet together. Nothing moved except his hands - wringing frantically together, picking at his nails, tugging gently at the cloth of his pants trying to smooth out wrinkles that would only disappear when he stood up.

It felt like an eternity but his internal digital time-keeping told him it had only been 23 minutes and 48 seconds from the time Sterling had left to the time the door opened back up again.

He stood and listened, fingers tying themselves into knots in his shirt. He nodded, silent while Sterling spoke. He waited until he was sure it was his turn before he allowed himself to respond.

"I c-came here with her per-rmission. The invitation is dir-rectly from her. " He scrunched his face as the stammer returned - something they simply couldn't fully remove as it had been a part of his real-person counterpart's brain. They had been able to program something of a workaround with a feedback loop, but moments like this one - fraught with deep dismay or stress over-powered the programming.

"You're w-welcome to dr-rop by any time you're fr-ree. Dir-rector Chang only asked you give a 24 hour w-warning." His Rs tripped over each-other. His W's wobbled unsteadily in his mouth. Consonants got stuck on his lips like flies in a glue trap.

"If I w-was going to get fired for this.. I w-would have come cr-rawling back alr-ready." He offered a crooked, uncertain smile. He knew ... underneath the racing heart and whitenoise in his overwhelmed nervous system... that Sterling wasn't angry at him. He knew why his friend had needed to walk out and had more than half expected it - but that didn't matter to the rejection sensitivity. It didn't matter in the least.

[specialagentace]

freaking called it

They needed a 'spiritual' figurehead to rally behind to justify all the stuff they're doing and Agent Orange 'surviving' two attempts wasn't doing it.

[specialagentace]

Today is Rapture day.

..... Are they gone, yet?

[specialagentace]

How about now?

[specialagentace]

I haven't seen anyone floating into the clouds yet.. did I miss it? I have popcorn ready to go and a hand written note to JC with some questions I want to tie onto someone's ankle...

[specialagentace]

Today is Rapture day.

..... Are they gone, yet?

[specialagentace]

How about now?

[specialagentace]

Today is Rapture day.

..... Are they gone, yet?

[specialagentace]

There is one thing I can say about the past 8.5 months .... I'm learning who I can and can't trust with "ME".

I have found through sympathy or rhetoric some people I thought were kind-hearted and open that will never get to know me beyond the face I put on for the public. For my own safety. Especially after today.

[specialagentace]

He had anticipated Sterling would be upset - but the outburst was not at all what Germaine had been ready to confront.

He flinched visibly with every curse word and shrank under Sterling's angry gaze. He stood quietly, taking the full brunt of it with as much grace as he could until Sterling turned his back and clapped his hands over his mouth.

"I'm s-sorry..." His voice felt small and he struggled to get the apology out. Germaine curled his fingers into the cloth of his shirt, clenching white-knuckled tight and pushed through the panic gnawing at every cell in his being that he had just ruined the best friendship he'd ever had.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, louder and with more conviction. "I didn't know until I saw it. And I don't know how long it's been part of the cur-riculum ... I went to Dir-rector Chang as soon as I was finished and came here as soon as I had clearance." He didn't dare move - He didn't dare look Sterling in the eyes anymore.

He dropped his gaze to his shoes and stood as still as a statue - save his hands, which fidgeted uncontrollably with the edge of his now-wrinkled button-down.

[agentsterling]

Sterling could see Germaine was not reacting well to his sudden hostility. He wanted to apologize, tell him it wasn't HIM he was angry with and that he had done everything right, but he was too worked up with his own swirling vortex of emotion to babysit Germaine's at the moment.

There was fear, fear of how many people had seen that footage behind his back and never said anything. There was distrust that SHIELD would be doing this, and never tell him they had it, much less than it was being used for training purposes. Showing it to their new recruits. Shame that he hadn't considered this as a possibility, especially after finding out Hydra had been working in SHIELD this entire time. Was Merc even dismantled? Was he out there somewhere, having been protected by Hydra and smuggled out?

Then there was sorrow for his friend who had been forced to witness the very moment that had caused Sterling to be so distrustful and distant from him in the first place. Then again, it was also the moment that eventually lead to them being so close. Still, to witness his friend like that, the moment he had heard so much about but was never able to touch the details of, right there in front of him.

"I'm sorry, I need some air." Sterling said, opening the door to his office a bit too forcefully.

"I'm going to the roof for some air. Check in on Shepherd and make sure he doesn't leave the base until I come back. I need a moment." He told Agent Honey in a quieter voice, not even looking at Amador or Phillipa. It was clear in his features he was doing his best to keep himself together. Anger in his features, but sorrow in his eyes. The color had mostly drained from his face.

He needed to process this somewhere that didn't have a trembling android in it.

"I'm sorry! Carry on!" He called to them without looking back, a wave of his hand into the air, as he stepped through the department doors to find the elevator.

"The hell was that about?" Amador mumbled to Phillipa, putting down the box she had just picked up.

[specialagentace]

Phillipa looked at the closed door of the office - she'd caught a glimpse of Germaine behind it looking like he'd been shot. Then at Sterling's retreating frame - rigid with rage and a whole lot of other she could only guess at.

"No fucking clue - they went in smiling and now I'm wondering if I need to go punch an android in the nuts...does he even have nuts..."

----------------------------

Germaine watched the door close behind Sterling and as soon as the man was out of earshot, he allowed the feelings to bubble up to the surface. Tears streamed down his face, checked only by the back of his button-down sleeve. Maybe that was the last time Sterling would ever talk to him, but if he had to go back - he'd do it again.

He struggled to get hold of himself, marveling through the heartache that the people at AID had gone to the effort of giving him the ability to 'ugly-cry'. Loving and hating it with equal measure.

Perhaps a bit more 'hating' in the moment.

[specialagentace]

Germaine nodded quietly to Sterling's barely audible thought. A.I.D. had salvaged everything they could to try and figure out what had gone wrong. They had recovered more than they had anticipated they would be able to, but most useful to them were the files relating to the kidnapping and torture of one Agent Sterling. They had been the cleanest files and had the most information on what exactly had sent Merc down that terrifying path.

It had been hard to watch someone he cared for so deeply suffer so badly but it hadn't been just Sterling he'd been watching. The focus was on the rogue A.I. and Germaine had experienced on at least two occassions the near complete take-over of his consciousness by something or someone else. He had felt like a prisoner in his own body. It was terrifying to watch Merc in that manic state - knowing he, himself, had toed at that line more than once.

It had changed him in ways he was still coming to terms with.

"I don't have clearance for that... but I can tell you Dir-rector Chang has, and some of the trainees who have come in .. including myself. It's part of the on-boarding curr-riculum. One of several examples of when things have gone terribly wrong ... and why A.I.D. was c-created."

There had been snippets of Ultron, LMDs and even one of the Iron Man suits...

The coffee pot gurgled violently as it finished up. He wasn't sure if Sterling would be in the mood, but it gave him an excuse to pull his gaze away. He felt it burning into him, even if Sterling didn't mean it to.

He poured a cup of coffee for Sterling, fixed it just the way he knew the man liked it and set it on the desk next to him.

"That is an open invitation to look at the files yourself .... if you want." He gestured at the envelope in Sterling's hands.

[agentsterling]

Sterling's jaw tightened and he tried to restrain the emotion that suddenly surged inside of him.

"Trainees?" He said, a sharp edge to his voice. "You're telling me... the worst moments of my life... are being watched... without my consent or knowledge... for your fucking training? How? How long as this been going on? How long have you known this? What the FUCK?"

But he placed a hand over his mouth immediately to silence himself, looking away from Germaine and seething quietly instead. It was like Sterling to silence himself, to keep it all contained, but he didn't know whether to be furious or to throw up.

[specialagentace]

He had anticipated Sterling would be upset - but the outburst was not at all what Germaine had been ready to confront.

He flinched visibly with every curse word and shrank under Sterling's angry gaze. He stood quietly, taking the full brunt of it with as much grace as he could until Sterling turned his back and clapped his hands over his mouth.

"I'm s-sorry..." His voice felt small and he struggled to get the apology out. Germaine curled his fingers into the cloth of his shirt, clenching white-knuckled tight and pushed through the panic gnawing at every cell in his being that he had just ruined the best friendship he'd ever had.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, louder and with more conviction. "I didn't know until I saw it. And I don't know how long it's been part of the cur-riculum ... I went to Dir-rector Chang as soon as I was finished and came here as soon as I had clearance." He didn't dare move - He didn't dare look Sterling in the eyes anymore.

He dropped his gaze to his shoes and stood as still as a statue - save his hands, which fidgeted uncontrollably with the edge of his now-wrinkled button-down.

[specialagentace]

He didn't physically have any need to - but he swallowed hard and nodded, eyes cast toward the floor. His fingers continued to pretzel together, until they reluctantly untangled and fished nervously in a pocket. He pulled out a small envelope - analog delivery was the most secure - and held it out for Sterling to take.. if he wanted. A simple, ordinary white envelope with a P.O. Box return address, a forever stamp with a photo of the Smithsonian Castle that had been inked over as if it had been sent through the postal service addressed to 'current resident'. An exemplary reproduction of the kind of junk mail you -knew- was trying to reach you about your vehicles extended warranty..

"It's cl-learance to visit the facility..." Inside the envelope, an 'ad' for signing up for the extended warrenty with instructions on how to apply online that, to the trained eye was carefully hidden contact information.

Had he done the right thing? Or had he ruined -everything-?

"Director Chang agreed you should have access." His hazel green eyes lifted, pleading with Sterling for forgiveness. "I'm sorry if ... " He felt like he was going to shake himself apart. "...if I overstepped...but I thought you should know. I g-genuinely wanted to come see everyone, but ..." He gestured at the envelope in his hand. "This is really why I came. Before you finished transferring."

Visiting here, and now, was as private an opportunity as they would have without it looking like anything other than nostalgia and checking in on friends. He wanted to give Sterling that, at the very least. They had been through a lot together through the years and he valued the friendship they had built. He only hoped that it would last through this, too.

[agentsterling]

Germaine was talking but Sterling didn't seem to be processing any of it. On autopilot, he took the envelope but didn't know why or what it was. After Germaine had confirmed his suspicion all Sterling could do was spiral into a sea of questions he wanted to ask but wasn't sure how. The nod had confirmed that the footage was of him but the grim tone told him exactly what it was of. It wasn't just of when he was taken or the rescue, or even any encounters after.

It was footage of his torture.

"When they dismantled him..." He whispered to himself, working through the how and why they might have such footage. SHIELD, or even Hydra, archived it. He was only a level three at the time. Of course they didn't tell him it existed. He didn't have the clearance to know or see.

Finally, his eyes settled back on Germaine.

"Who's seen it?" But his eyes asked a more specific question: Have you seen it?

[specialagentace]

Germaine nodded quietly to Sterling's barely audible thought. A.I.D. had salvaged everything they could to try and figure out what had gone wrong. They had recovered more than they had anticipated they would be able to, but most useful to them were the files relating to the kidnapping and torture of one Agent Sterling. They had been the cleanest files and had the most information on what exactly had sent Merc down that terrifying path.

It had been hard to watch someone he cared for so deeply suffer so badly but it hadn't been just Sterling he'd been watching. The focus was on the rogue A.I. and Germaine had experienced on at least two occassions the near complete take-over of his consciousness by something or someone else. He had felt like a prisoner in his own body. It was terrifying to watch Merc in that manic state - knowing he, himself, had toed at that line more than once.

It had changed him in ways he was still coming to terms with.

"I don't have clearance for that... but I can tell you Dir-rector Chang has, and some of the trainees who have come in .. including myself. It's part of the on-boarding curr-riculum. One of several examples of when things have gone terribly wrong ... and why A.I.D. was c-created."

There had been snippets of Ultron, LMDs and even one of the Iron Man suits...

The coffee pot gurgled violently as it finished up. He wasn't sure if Sterling would be in the mood, but it gave him an excuse to pull his gaze away. He felt it burning into him, even if Sterling didn't mean it to.

He poured a cup of coffee for Sterling, fixed it just the way he knew the man liked it and set it on the desk next to him.

"That is an open invitation to look at the files yourself .... if you want." He gestured at the envelope in Sterling's hands.

[specialagentace]

Germaine's hands paused, hovering over the swivel lid that would queue the pot to brew.

How the -heck- was he going to broach the subject? He'd come to visit with Sterling, sure - to see the old office and the old faces but he'd come with one goal fully in mind.

He pushed the lid and let the sputter of water moving through the machine fill the momentary silence.

"I'd like that." He admitted, turning to face his long-time friend with his signature twitchy smile, fingers twining around each-other and picking at his clothes subconsciously. He'd hoped integration with Daniel would help with that - but it turned out these little quirks had come from the ... 'original source code', as it were.

"I think you'd enjoy it. There are m-more museums than you can possibly see in a month." Germaine was still stalling.

"It's been almost a year and I still haven't been to m-most of them even though I can see a lot of them right from my office window. It would be easy enough to stroll across the National Mall to one of a dozen different ones, but I haven't, yet. Maybe...." Now or never.

"I've been too focused on getting myself up to speed at A.I.D. I've learned a lot. Their archives are ... Immense. They have nearly every event involving A.I. that ever happened..."

He let the words hang in the air. He was uncertain whether to continue, but he felt it too important. His friend deserved to know.

"Including ... Merc." The mood would tank. He was sure he'd ruin the genial and pleasant catching-up, but he had clearance from Director Chang.

[agentsterling]

Sterling couldn't figure out if this was Germaine's usual nervousness or if he was really that jittery seeing him again. Whether something was wrong or this was just Germaine being Germaine. He'd never tried to read too far into his movements, always too afraid to get caught up on a detail that didn't seem quite right and spiraling down an anti-android panic attack. He didn't want to jeopardize how close he had gotten to him over the years and how much he grew to trust him.

Sterling watched his friend nervously prepare the coffee with amusement, waiting for him to get to the point--

Until, finally, he did.

Every event involving A.I. Including Merc.

His stomach dropped and he tried not to let it show on his face as he stared, eyes stern, at his friend.

"In what capacity? What... What do..." Germaine was here. He was here telling Sterling this. That had to mean... "Footage of me?"

[specialagentace]

He didn't physically have any need to - but he swallowed hard and nodded, eyes cast toward the floor. His fingers continued to pretzel together, until they reluctantly untangled and fished nervously in a pocket. He pulled out a small envelope - analog delivery was the most secure - and held it out for Sterling to take.. if he wanted. A simple, ordinary white envelope with a P.O. Box return address, a forever stamp with a photo of the Smithsonian Castle that had been inked over as if it had been sent through the postal service addressed to 'current resident'. An exemplary reproduction of the kind of junk mail you -knew- was trying to reach you about your vehicles extended warranty..

"It's cl-learance to visit the facility..." Inside the envelope, an 'ad' for signing up for the extended warrenty with instructions on how to apply online that, to the trained eye was carefully hidden contact information.

Had he done the right thing? Or had he ruined -everything-?

"Director Chang agreed you should have access." His hazel green eyes lifted, pleading with Sterling for forgiveness. "I'm sorry if ... " He felt like he was going to shake himself apart. "...if I overstepped...but I thought you should know. I g-genuinely wanted to come see everyone, but ..." He gestured at the envelope in his hand. "This is really why I came. Before you finished transferring."

Visiting here, and now, was as private an opportunity as they would have without it looking like anything other than nostalgia and checking in on friends. He wanted to give Sterling that, at the very least. They had been through a lot together through the years and he valued the friendship they had built. He only hoped that it would last through this, too.

[specialagentace]

Germaine followed behind Sterling, slipping past and immediately setting his backpack down in a seat so he could get a pot of coffee going. It gave his hands something to do and an escape for some of the nervous energy that had begun to bubble back to the surface.

"No .. not y-yet, but it turns out taste is one of the most compl-lex senses to reproduce. Director Chang is taking the failures personally." It brought a smile to Germaine's face. Her dedication to the project and the sheer annoyance each unsuccessful attempt caused her was proof to him that she was taking it seriously. Too seriously, perhaps, but she had complained that she might have to reach out to Sparks and the idea of asking Eira for -anything- 'chapped her ass'. Her words, not his.

"I appreciate her d-dedicaton." He said with mild bemusement. "They have been able to assist in the integration of D-daniel's ...." He paused, hunting for the right word. "... consciousness..." His tone lifted slightly at the end of the word in uncertainty if that was the right label to land on, "...into my running m-memory, though. I am having fewer confl-licts with data-erosion and fragmentation."

His hands flew through the process of cleaning the filter and drip pan, putting in fresh grounds and checking the water level.

"It's easier to be .... me... than it has been since we found him."

[agentsterling]

Rather than stop him, as making coffee wasn't exactly Germaine's job anymore, sterling smiled at his friend as he seamlessly slipped back into old habits. He'd let him have this one, he supposed.

"I'm glad they're able to help you, even if taste has been eluding them. You really seem to be thriving and you're surrounded by people who are genuinely looking out for you. That's wonderful to find." Sterling hadn't felt as comfortable in his own skin at work for a while now. As a Department Head he felt he couldn't get too close to his team as he had to keep a professional distance. Hydra's uprising had cast doubt on all other colleagues in some shape or form. Add Bancroft and Nero's betrayals and, well, Sterling wasn't sure he could ever fully trust more than a handful of people ever again.

But that was just part of the job, right? Distrust. Deceit. Lies.

It was a lonely way to live but he was willing to endure it. The feeling of having no one to turn to when things got bad...

Guilt bubbled up in Sterling's stomach again, the same guilt that had been following him since Void had cast his shadow over the city. The guilt of not seeking help when he needed it.

"Perhaps more frequent visits are in order. When we get all settled at HQ maybe I'll take a little trip to DC. Make sure they're treating you as well as you say." He winked playfully, hoping humor might chase away both of their darker thoughts for a moment.

[specialagentace]

Germaine's hands paused, hovering over the swivel lid that would queue the pot to brew.

How the -heck- was he going to broach the subject? He'd come to visit with Sterling, sure - to see the old office and the old faces but he'd come with one goal fully in mind.

He pushed the lid and let the sputter of water moving through the machine fill the momentary silence.

"I'd like that." He admitted, turning to face his long-time friend with his signature twitchy smile, fingers twining around each-other and picking at his clothes subconsciously. He'd hoped integration with Daniel would help with that - but it turned out these little quirks had come from the ... 'original source code', as it were.

"I think you'd enjoy it. There are m-more museums than you can possibly see in a month." Germaine was still stalling.

"It's been almost a year and I still haven't been to m-most of them even though I can see a lot of them right from my office window. It would be easy enough to stroll across the National Mall to one of a dozen different ones, but I haven't, yet. Maybe...." Now or never.

"I've been too focused on getting myself up to speed at A.I.D. I've learned a lot. Their archives are ... Immense. They have nearly every event involving A.I. that ever happened..."

He let the words hang in the air. He was uncertain whether to continue, but he felt it too important. His friend deserved to know.

"Including ... Merc." The mood would tank. He was sure he'd ruin the genial and pleasant catching-up, but he had clearance from Director Chang.

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

Like a new friend!