S P E N T F A I T H

to be lost & found. to be dead then alive, again.

[spentfaith]

𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇, a study in unbridled chaos, villain-based redemption arcs,  feral women wronged by men, monsters, aliens, unrequited love, martyrism, the wronged, the fallen & more.   𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒  -  𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒  -  𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆

*please note - if i have recently soft blocked you and you are seeing this, please don’t take it personally. i have been struggling mentally and have cut down my dash to only those i currently have threads/and/or have plotted with. feel free to reach back out at any time <3 

Currently on permanent semi-hiatus. 

[spentfaith]

It’s no secret I haven’t been here of late, I’ve had a lot going on in life between work + usual bullshit. I’m not deactivating this blog or leaving it but consider this an unofficial hiatus notice. Discord is always available to talk ships etc, I just truly don’t have the time for this right now ❤️

[spentfaith]

Me looking @ Buck/y barnes’ metal arm/whole winter soldier vibe like 😋😋

[spentfaith]

I’m making executive decisions and saying that Quinn 100% has her Australian accent

[spentfaith]

“ 𝐢𝐟… 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢’𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮❟ 𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰… 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝❟ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠❟ 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐞 ?   𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐛𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭. 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. ”  @kenneld

She heard the words, took them into her mind and soul and spirit. Her bones and blood. Quinn’s mouth grew dry as the weight of his words fully started to process throughout all of those parts of her body. How those damn words seemed to have lulled her into a false sense of security at the mention of that word. Of love. That he loved her. Always loved her. Always will. Her chest expanded and then contracted, something hitting her heart like a damn dagger as the words failed to bloom, as they dug in their claws and threatened to rip her heart from her chest. He was leaving. This was goodbye. This was bullshit. 

“No.” Quinn forced the words out as though they would be her saving grace. A choked, desperate sound. “No. You don’t get to fucking do this to me, Beraiah.” Anger welled inside of her, threatening to bubble over and exit her body in some way or another. Perhaps through the tears she could feel threatening to well in the corner of her eyes, or perhaps through the fists that hard started to curl and clench at her sides. Nothing but pure hurt and anger swirled within her eyes, her mouth drawn tight as she rooted her feet in place and refused to move. Both out of the way and move on from this topic. 

“Someone — ” Cut short at the lump in her throat, the barrier between what she’d always known but refused to say from fear of losing him finally starting to slip and break. “Someone who loves someone would never put them through the hell you’ve put me through.” Her jaw set tight, she wished the words had come out with more venom, wished that she could have tackled this like she did every fight she’d ever been in. But no. That would have been too easy. Instead they dribbled out like water along the top of a flooding lake. Quinn was the lake. 

“You don’t fucking love me, you love the convenience of me.” There came the venom, just a hint of it, a little bite to the end of her sentence. Quinn was tiptoeing along the breakwall. One side would have her fall into a heap, crumple into herself and let loose years of tears she’d refused to let fall. The other? Quinn feared what she’d find there. “You always have.” 

[spentfaith]

I reckon Quinn could beat adam smasher

[spentfaith]

Nobody:

Quinn pinning people during matches:

[spentfaith]

Nothing better than washing off that god awful coconut bondi sands smell am I rite fellas

[spentfaith]

Crawls outta my hole to say that plus sized characters deserve not to be feared and deserved to be written

[spentfaith]

feeling very unsexy and a little lost around these parts atm y’all. I love u guys but idk where I’m at rn. I know all I post is shit like this atm but I guess consider this a bit of a semi-hiatus announcement? I’m still gonna be replying to threads etc but I’m not rlly here so <33

[spctlessminds]

these memes are based on the very lovely blog affectionsuggestion

‘  all i want to do is kiss you breathless  &  watch as your eyes light up when i tell you that you’re my universe.  ’ ‘  concept:  just you  &  me,  driving away from the city.  the windows are down  &  the cold air feels amazing.  our songs are playing  &  we couldn’t be more in love.  ’ ‘  concept:  we are together  &  nothing in the world can bring us down.  ’ ‘  concept:  we listen to showtunes in bed while we eat chinese food under a blanket.  ’ ‘  even when i’m not thinking about you,  i’m still kinda thinking about you.  ’ ‘  every time we talk,  every time we touch,  i feel more  &  more in love with you.  ’ ‘  everything  –  every single thing  –  reminds me of you.  ’ ‘  hearing  ‘ i love you ’  from your side of the bed late at night makes my heart feel like it’s bursting with tiny,  happy spring flowers.  ’ ‘  i can’t stop kissing you  &  i can’t stop thinking about kissing you.  ’ ‘  i can’t stop thinking about you.  i just want to kiss you,  again  &  again  &  again  &  again.  ’ ‘  i can’t wait for the next time i get to kiss you.  ’ ‘  i can’t wait to have hundreds of adventures with you.  ’ ‘  i can’t wait to raise a dog with you.  ’ ‘  i can’t wait to see you again.  it’s only a matter of time before we embrace  &  i feel at home once more.  ’ ‘  i can’t wait until we’re in the same country,  in the same city,  in the same bed  &  under the same blanket.  ’ ‘  i daydream about how your fingers would feel if they were intertwined with mine right now.  ’ ‘  i didn’t believe in soulmates until i met you.  ’ ‘  i don’t want better.  i want you.  ’ ‘  i feel like i could lie wrapped in your arms,  staring at the sky for centuries  &  need nothing else.  ’ ‘  i had a dream that we kissed last night.  ’ ‘  i just need to be in a meadow right now on a warm day,  with you,  the smell of grass  &  flowers around us.  ’ ‘  i just want to be sitting in the sun with you,  not knowing whether the warmth i feel is the pleasant sun or your soft smile warming my heart.   ’ ‘  i just want to make gingerbread houses with you around christmas.  ’ ‘  i just want to wake up in your arms every day.  ’ ‘  i just want you close to me.  ’ ‘  i just want you to sleep well  &  be happy.  ’ ‘  i love everything about you.  ’ ‘  i love how our legs feel entangled with each other.  i crave that feeling.  ’ ‘  i miss you all the time.  i’m never sure how i feel,  but i know i always want you around.  ’ ‘  i miss your soft touch against my skin.  ’ ‘  i need your arms  &  legs around me,  surrounded by your warmth,  holding me tight,  with no intention of letting me go.  ’ ‘  i often wake up thinking about you.  ’ ‘  i stay up until 11:11 every night just to wish you were here with me.  ’ ‘  i think you’re my favorite person in the world right now.  ’ ‘  i want nothing but to make good memories with you.  ’ ‘  i want to be your past,  present,  &  future.  ’ ‘  i want to dance with you while you sing all your favorite songs,   looking lovingly into my eyes  &  meaning every beautiful lyric you sing to me.  ’ ‘  i want to fill a hundred photo albums with memories of adventures with you.  ’ ‘  i want to kiss every single spot on your body that you’re insecure of.  ’ ‘  i want to kiss you each morning  &  each night.  ’ ‘  i want to laugh with you  &  hold your cold hands.  ’ ‘  i want to make a home with you.  the kind of home that lets you feel the love inside of it when you walk in.  it’ll be a safe place for us  &  the people we let into it.  ’ ‘  i want to make chocolate mousse with you  &  then we can eat it together.  ’ ‘  i want to see a whole world of different sunsets with you.  ’ ‘  i want to take a walk in the snow with you.  ’ ‘  i want us to share all of our excitement together.  ’ ‘  i want you to kiss me  &  hold me close while telling me everything is going to be okay.  ’ ‘  i wish you’d just kiss me.  ’ ‘  i would rather listen to your silence when i’m with you than any kind of music on this world.  ’ ‘  if i could gather all the stars in the sky  &  give them to you i would  ’ ‘  if there’s a day where i don’t tell you i love you,  there’s a day i’m not living.  ’ ‘  in my eyes,  you’re a king.  ’ ‘  in my eyes,  you’re a queen.  ’ ‘  it’s been years now.  despite everything,  we are alive  &  we are together  &  we are okay.  ’ ‘  i’d love to snuggle up to you when you want affection most.  ’ ‘  i’m happy you exist.  ’ ‘  i’m so blessed to have met you.  you’ve already got me longing to be in your company constantly.  ’ ‘  i’m so glad i keep you in my life.  your eyes,  your hugs,  you lips,  your words,  &  your smile keep me going every day.  ’ ‘  just the sight of your beautiful smile or the way you say hello is enough to make even my darkest days a little brighter.  ’ ‘  just you in my harms,   laying on my chest;  it’s just us being us  &  i think we are simply meant to be.  ’ ‘  lay on your stomach as i give you sweet kisses on your back  &  neck while i’m feeling your love tingling in my body.  ’ ‘  let’s fight the right wingers  &  make the world a better place.  ’ ‘  let’s go somewhere quiet  &  just be together.  ’ ‘  let’s see everything together…   the whole world.  ’ ‘  let’s sit in the forest together,  the particles in the air reflecting sunlight reminding me of the brightness in your eyes.  ’ ‘  my love for you makes me want to be strong for you.  ’ ‘  now i know the meaning of  ‘ i wouldn’t change you for the world. ’  ’ ‘  now i understand why all my other relationships didn’t work out:  i am meant to be with you.  ’ ‘  now it’s back to counting down the days until i get to feel free again,  until i get to be in your arms again,  until i get to see your radiance face-to-face again.  ’ ‘  nowhere feels as safe as being in your arms.  ’ ‘  one day i won’t be scared to say i love you.  ’ ‘  one day we’ll do everything we dream about together.  ’ ‘  seeing your eyes in the morning sunlight  &  feeling the warmth of your gaze brings upon me makes me realize i’m in love.   ’ ‘  tell me about the things you’re passionate about.  tell me every detail about your favorite things.  i don’t care if it takes all day,  i love you  &  i love to hear you be happy  &  excited about things.  ’ ‘  the thought of your voice  &  the softness of your smile keeps me going when we can’t be together.  i hope you understand you’ve given me a lot of faith  &  happiness when i thought it’d be impossible,  when i thought i didn’t deserve it.  ’ ‘  the way you look at me makes me feel like i’m the most beautiful goddess in the universe.  ’ ‘  there’s nothing i want more than to stay under blankets with you  &  curl up in your lap.  ’ ‘  thinking of you makes me think that maybe it’ll all be okay.  ’ ‘  we’ll celebrate holidays together  &  make our own traditions.  ’ ‘  when i think about you my heart feels funny.  ’ ‘  when i’m with you,  i get a feeling like coming home after a long time away.  ’ ‘  whether you’re blossoming or struggling,  i’ll stay with you.  i’ll keep on loving you.  ’ ‘  you are endlessly,  implausibly fascinating.  ’ ‘  you are like hot chocolate,  you make my insides warm.  ’ ‘  you are more beautiful than my favorite songs.  ’ ‘  you fascinate me.  ’ ‘  you make me feel safe.  ’ ‘  you make me feel how i never thought i could.  ’ ‘  you make me understand lyrics to cheesy love songs.  ’ ‘  you make my heart feel light as a feather yet heavy as bricks all at once.  ’ ‘  you,  my dear,  have the voice of an angel.  ’ ‘  your  ‘ i love you ’  has turned into my favorite lullaby.  ’ ‘  your arms are home to me.  ’ ‘  your eyes make me think about stormy skies in a different way,  your smile makes me blush just thinking about it  &  i think i am totally in love with you.  ’ ‘  your hands are my favorite hands to touch  &  to hold.  ’ ‘  your hands are so warm  &  your hair is so soft  &  i want to touch you forever  &  ever.  ’ ‘  your love for me reminds me to love myself.  ’ ‘  your smile is the most beautiful sight on this earth.  ’ ‘  you’re the highlight of my day.  ’ ‘  you’re the only person who can make me feel this way.  ’

[spentfaith]

bonjour miloves, just a heads up with remy/feybled’s stepping back from her blog im still going to be keeping my exclusivity with the characters that were presented on her blog ❤️. I’ve also been fairly absent of late and have been considering going on semi-hiatus/discord based plots just until things slow down with my life!! I totally understand if that doesn’t float ur boat and if you wish to unfollow I just ask you soft block, no hard feelings 😘.

[spentfaith]

bonjour miloves, just a heads up with remy/feybled’s stepping back from her blog im still going to be keeping my exclusivity with the characters that were presented on her blog ❤️. I’ve also been fairly absent of late and have been considering going on semi-hiatus/discord based plots just until things slow down with my life!! I totally understand if that doesn’t float ur boat and if you wish to unfollow I just ask you soft block, no hard feelings 😘.

[spentfaith]

He makes himself a still life. His lungs pump independently in his body, without shifting the fortified rib cage that holds them. The many parts that make him his entirety whir and hum without imposing themselves. He rests under her touch, cool and calm. Nothing stirs. He listens not to the whisper of her fingers where they travel up his torso, but to the mechanical droning that fills the cavern of his body like so many distant voices. It must be jarring for Quinn, to stare back into the yawning void of his eye. It keeps bleeding light but no sentiment. He does wish she wouldn’t look so suspicious when she scans him. He wishes she wouldn’t look only skin-deep. 

Quinn’s hand rests on his jaw, her fingers on the polished steel. He imagines he can feel it, imagines the points of warmth where they connect. The mind is a powerful thing, even he can’t deny it. Ber makes belief. Ber thinks he can feel her touch and he thinks it doesn’t irritate. His voice filters out in a soft, mechanic purr. It imitates a sigh. Of course she is not easily satisfied. She’s kicked him out time and time again, told him not to come back, and he doesn’t listen because he knows better. Because he knows she’d come looking if he didn’t return. And he can’t have her going where he goes. —Why did he come back? 

Sometimes he wishes she’d make the cut. He wishes she’d force him away, wrest herself free, forget him and leave. He wishes he’d come back to changed locks. It’d be kinder, in the long run. And Beraiah damn well knows he’s too selfish to save them the pain of restitching the same wound every other week. Eventually, she’s gonna ask him something he won’t have an answer for. 

“Where else would I go?” He mutters and doesn’t disturb her touch. His hand slides up to cup the back of Quinn’s head, where he pulls her in, wraps himself around her like poison ivy. “You know I always come crawlin’ back, can’t be a surprise anymore. If you let me, I’d stay.” 

A million words had danced on her tongue to respond, a million things that she’d surely never say. Quinn had plucked a select few and aligned them nice and pretty and eloquently to spell them out for Beraiah before they were sinking back into the abyss of all those words. The feeling of his arms enveloping her to hold her closer… it’d melted any chance of replying only seconds after she felt the cool metal of his body against her own. Quinn would admit (never aloud) that she didn’t hate the way it all felt, not entirely at least. It was so incredibly foreign, but he’d managed to make it less so in the amount of times they’d been here, over and over and over. 

Sprawling her hands out against the metal as she nestled herself closer to him, Quinn’s lips pressed softly against the location which should have housed a collarbone. She’d long stopped asking if he could feel it or not. She pondered quietly for a good, long moment. The sounds of his whirring and humming enough to lull her into a sleep like it had so many times, the whirring and humming that had replaced the rise and fall of a broad chest that she’d created a home within. Finally, she finds the words and drags them from the depths that they’d plummeted to. Snaking a leg between his own to anchor her there.      Please don’t leave me. Don’t go where I can’t follow. 

“I shouldn’t let you.” Husky and rough, perhaps on the verge of shattering into a thousand pieces. “But... Just because I shouldn't let you, doesn't mean that I don’t want you to stay.” Her heart ached, throat suddenly full of blades. Quinn knew better than to entertain this, but without him? Who was she? Who was she but a ghost haunting a bag of bones, a shadow in the world trying to find a direction. She’d been through worse, she tried to tell herself that, but still she spiralled. Still she left that one window ajar. Still the locks remained unchained and her bed remained warm.

“Y’need a shower, Ber.” Mumbled against him, she absently traced the outline of where skin had fused with metal, letting her nail drag against the seam that it’d created. “Smell like piss and the streets.”

[spentfaith]

                                                           𝐢❜𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

Azriel was a crafted warrior. He’d fought and survived in two wars now, survived a childhood of abuse, neglect. The ranks of the Illyrian camps. Shredded and broken wings, broken body and soul. So the way that such simple little words could hurt him more than any damn war or weapon ever could, was as much pathetic as it was painful. He had no one to blame than himself, he knew that better than the next person. He’d never been one not to own up to his mis grievances and errors, always taking them on the nose. 

But this was different. She was different. For V had done nothing wrong. In the war that was their own tumultuous bond, Azriel was the one that seemed to wedge the divides between them. Time and time again, without fail. Put it down to his abysmal self worth, or something of the like. It was unfair on her, yet still she let him return, let him back in. It was a crutch Azriel knew he was leaning on far too much, taking everything for granted. He needed to stop before she cut him off, or killed him, completely.

It’d been weeks since he’d last been home, sky-bound and on the hunt for information to help with a new treaty. He’d done his best to send way to her down the bond, organising for his spies to deliver her little mementos to let her know that he was thinking of her. Take me with you, he vividly remembers her asking. Not a chance, he’d replied. The argument played out over and over, time and time again. He couldn’t risk losing her, even if the mission was relatively mundane. 

He’d half expected her to not even be here upon his arrival. For her to have flown the coop, burning down Velaris as she did so, too. The shadows that sprouted from every aspect of his essence made it into their room before he ever had, informing him that she was very much home. His heart was thumping, aching. The pace of his walk picking up as his wings folded neatly behind him, Azriel was at the edge of the bed in the beat of an eye. Knees hitting the floor with a solid thud as he dropped to them, hand resting against her cheek as his lips made contact with hers. The thrum of the bond between them felt near palpable. 

I've missed you. There they were, those words sharper than any sword ever had been. Direct contact made with a heart that was about to leap out of his chest. “I know.” Comes the reply, his voice throaty and lacking its usual monotone. Something was almost desperate sounding as he kissed her again, brushing away some fallen inky black hair. “Will you forgive me?” Against her lips as he crawled into the space beside to her, not bothering to wash or clean himself up. “Will you let me make it up to you?” A slight insistence of cheekiness lying beneath his tone with the query. He had at least managed to kick off his shoes before pulling her into him, circling them both with his wings. “I’m sorry, V. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”            —       @korctyshka​

[soulrph]

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

i had a super SUPER productive morning and i was treating myself to the fancy shampoo (u know the shampoo u got as a gift that’s kinda expensive and v v Nice so u only use it when ur going out or have a social event going on?) and i came back to find a bunch of my mutuals reblogging the same post about hair, and i’ll be damned if i didn’t see that combination of events as some sort of sign! so here u go my dudes! another addition to the group! feel free to add “+ REVERSE” to switch the roles of this meme!

as always, DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST! i’ll add to it as time passes! and i really hope you all enjoy this one bc i had a lot of fun making it! 

[ WASH ]:          sender begins to wash the receiver’s hair.

[ TUG ]:          sender grabs the receiver’s hair and pulls at it. ( SPECIFY A REASON! CONTEXT IS KEY! )

[ BRAID ]:          sender, sitting behind the receiver’s back, begins to braid their hair.

[ SNIP ]:          having discussed the matter, the sender gives the receiver a haircut.

[ BACK ]:          sender, noticing a strand of hair fall from the receiver’s hairdo, carefully tucks the strand back behind the receiver’s ear.

[ BURY ]:          sender buries their hand deep in the receiver’s hair.

[ BRUSH ]:          with a hairbrush, comb, or their hand, the sender begins to gently brush the receiver’s hair.

[ GLIDE ]:          sender runs their fingers through the length of the receiver’s hair.

[ BLOOM ]:          sender weaves a number of flowers through the receiver’s hair.

[ STYLE ]:          sender begins to arrange the receiver’s hair into an elaborate hairstyle to an unspecified degree of success (or failure).

[ CROWN ]:          having created a flower crown, the sender carefully places it atop the receiver’s head.

[ INHALE ]:          while embracing or in close proximity to the receiver, the sender inhales slowly, smelling their hair in the process.

[ TICKLE ]:          the sender uses the ends of the receiver’s hair to playfully tickle them.

[ PLAY ]:          the sender begins to play with the receiver’s hair while the receiver lies in their lap.

[ LAY ]:           the sender lays down in the receiver’s lap to let them play with the sender’s hair.

[ TOUCH ]:           just for the sake of the contact, the sender reaches out and gently touches the strands of the receiver’s hair.

[ MASSAGE ]:          with their hands buried in the receiver’s hair, the sender begins to gently massage their scalp.

[ ROYAL ]:          as part of a coronation ceremony, the sender places a crown atop the receiver’s hair, maintaining eye contact as they do so.

[ KISS ]:          the sender places a tender kiss on the receiver’s hair.

[ AWAY ]:          the sender, using their fingertips, tenderly sweeps a few strands of hair out of the receiver’s face so as to see them more clearly.

[ TOWEL ]:          the sender uses a towel to carefully dry the receiver’s hair.

[ DRY ]:          the sender uses a hairdryer to dry the receiver’s hair.

[ SOFTEN ]:          the sender rubs oils/conditioner into their hands, and begins to slowly massage it into the receiver’s hair.

[lostcop]

cop river, but he has been assigned bicycle patrol and u find him alone in the park eating a donut