Summary- Bucky Barnes is a biker with a bad reputation, he’s intrigued by his neighbour and hates her boyfriend.
Warnings- domestic violence, non-con, gaslighting, victim blaming, emotional abuse, coercion, mentions of child abuse, allusions to eating disorders and self-esteem issues. ⛔️PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE READING AND LET ME KNOW IF IVE MISSED ANYTHING⛔️
You handed a beer to Bucky and he immediately noticed that your hand was shaking.
“I can leave if you’re uncomfortable.” He said as softly as possible.
“N-no it’s fine.” You responded, although your hand continued to shake.
“Can you take a deep breath for me sweetheart?” He made himself look as small as possible to avoid intimidating you.
“I-I c-can’t.” Your breathing was becoming more unsteady.
Bucky immediately recognised that you were having a panic attack. He’d seen the films and read the books, where you hold someone close and they magically heal, where you place their hand on your chest and their breathing magically evens out; he even tried to get you to name things you could see, hear, smell and taste. It didn’t work.
You breathing remained erratic, tears streaming down your face as you hyperventilated. Bucky tried to reach out for you but you flinched away, he couldn’t fix this.
After what felt like an eternity you excused yourself to the bathroom, promising to be back soon. Whilst you were gone the pizza arrived, although Bucky left it on the table and it was immediately forgotten.
“Hey.” You said timidly as you re-entered the room, all traces of your panic attack gone.
“Hey.” A sad smile appeared on Bucky’s face.
“Sorry about that.” You chuckled, feeling extremely awkward.
“You have nothing to apologise for Y/N.” Bucky’s tone was serious “are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” You smiled “shall we eat?”
Bucky allowed you to take the lead, sitting beside you whilst still keeping his distance.
“Thank you for the painting stuff.” You said after a small silence.
“It’s no problem.” Bucky smiled “I can’t wait to see some of your work.”
“Can I…erm…can I keep the stuff in your garage for the minute?” You asked “i don’t think Jack would be happy with it being in the house.”
“That’s fine sweetheart.” Bucky said softly “the garage is always open so you can come over whenever you want.”
“Thank you.” You smiled, shuffling slightly closer towards him.
“How’s your mom doing?” You asked after another silence “and your sister?”
“They’re okay.” Bucky said “they’re coming over tomorrow afternoon for some lunch…you could come if you want?”
“Oh…I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You shook your head, gesturing to your bruised face.
“I don’t like the idea of you being alone all weekend.” Bucky’s voice was gentle.
“It’s better than being with Jack.” You scoffed, before quickly realising what you’d said and feeling guilt flood through you.
“Can I ask you something? Don’t feel like you need to answer…” Bucky asked timidly.
“Yeah, of course you can.” You replied.
“Why are you still with him?” Bucky’s eyes bore into yours as he spoke.
“He’s not a bad person.” You said quietly “he isn’t normally like this.”
“But he hurt you?” Bucky questioned.
“It was my fault…” you began.
“It’s not your fault darling.” Bucky interrupted “nothing you could do would ever give him an excuse to put his hands on you.”
“I know how it looks Bucky.” You sighed “but it’s not an abusive relationship, he just has a bad temper. He doesn’t mean it, he’s a good person and he loves me.”
“Do you love him?” Bucky asked bravely.
“I…I need him.” You avoided answering the question “he’s been there for me when nobody else was, he takes care of me.”
“I remember when I was growing up…when we were younger dad used to take us out on the weekends.” Bucky said “he’d buy us ice cream and let me and Bec run around like crazy people in the park. He was the perfect parent. He used to buy Ma flowers and tell her she was beautiful. Then he beat her so hard he broke her clavicle, took all her money so she couldn’t leave. Told her she was worthless and pathetic, made her believe it too.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you.” You reached out cautiously, placing your hand in his.
“You deserve better than this life Y/N.” Bucky said softly.
“Nobody else would want me Bucky.” You spoke through tears.
“That’s not true.” He looked into your eyes, his gaze momentarily flicking down to your lips “please get out Y/N, please keep yourself safe.”
“I can’t leave.” Tears were steadily falling down your face “I haven’t got a job, I don’t have any savings, I don’t speak to my family. Where would I go?”
“Come live with me.” Bucky said immediately.
“And live next door to him?” You scoffed.
“I have an apartment.” Bucky rushed out “it’s used as a sort of safe house for the club if anything goes down. You can stay there, stay for as long as you need.”
“I can’t go from being reliant on him to being reliant on you.” You shook your head “I need to do this alone.”
“You don’t need to do anything alone.” His voice was gentle “you never need to be alone again.”
“Can we talk about something else?” You asked, feeling your chest become tighter.
“How about we go over to the garage and you can do some painting?” Bucky suggested “it might help clear your head.”
You nodded, taking his hand in yours to allow him to lead you over to the garage.
You’d spent the evening in Bucky’s garage, channeling your emotions into your art. With each stroke of the brush you felt more and more free.
“It’s looking good.” Bucky smiled as he handed you a beer.
“It’s a start.” You smiled “it feels good to be painting again.”
“I’m glad.” Bucky took a sip of his own drink.
“I-I should be getting home soon.” You said as you set down your brush “it’s getting late.”
“I’ll walk you to your door.” Bucky said softly.
“Thank you for today Bucky.” You said once you’d arrived at your door “I appreciate it.”
“It’s no problem sweetheart.” He rested his hand on your arm “and feel free to come over tomorrow, Ma is bringing food and it’s always to die for.”
“I’ll think about it.” You nodded.
“Goodnight doll.” Bucky said as you turned to your door.
“Goodnight Bucky.” You smiled back at him.
“Y/N might be dropping by.” Bucky said as his mother and Becca sat on the sofa opposite him.
“That’d be nice.” Winnie smiled.
“If she does…she’s got some bruises” Bucky explained “just…don’t say anything.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Winnie said kindly.
“This is so fucking stupid.” You mumbled to yourself as you placed the cookies from the cooling rack into the Tupperware.
You glanced at yourself in the mirror, grimacing when you noticed the still noticeable bruises despite the multiple layers of foundation.
You took a deep breath to compose yourself, you’d give Bucky the cookies as a thank you for being so kind before coming straight back home. You could do this.
You made your way over to his house, knocking on the front door and anxiously waiting for the answer.
“Y/N!” Bucky’s face lit up when he saw you “I’m so glad you decided to come over.”
“Oh…I just wanted to give you these…as a thank you for yesterday.” You explained “I’m not…I’m not staying.”
“Just stay for a drink?” Bucky suggested.
You knew you should say no, but the hopeful look on his face made it impossible for you to refuse.
“Just one.” You agreed, before following him into the house.
“This is Y/N.” Bucky announced once you were inside “Y/N, this is my mom Winnie and my sister Becca.”
“It’s nice to meet you both.” You said timidly.
“You too.” Winnie smiled “why don’t you come sit down?”
You obediently sank down on the free couch, Bucky momentarily vanished before handing you a drink and sinking down beside you.
“Bucky mentioned that you’re an artist.” Winnie said as she took a sip from her own drink.
“Oh…no not an artist.” You blushed “I paint sometimes, but I’m not very good.”
“I bet you’re great Y/N.” Becca smiled.
“You’ll have to show us some of your work.” Winnie urged.
“I’ve not painted in a while.” You confessed “I’m working on something at the moment though, I’ll be happy to show you when I’m done.”
“Sounds great.” Winnie smiled.
The more time you spent with the Barnes family the more at ease you felt. You knew they’d noticed the poorly covered bruising to your face but the fact it hadn’t been mentioned made you relieved.
Becca was telling you a story about Bucky as a teenager when you heard a sound that made your heart stop; Jacks car. The rumble of his trucks engine was impossible to mistake, he was home.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Bucky immediately picked up on your discomfort.
“I…I think that’s Jacks car.” You said quietly.
Bucky made his way over to the window to peek out, quickly confirming that you were right.
“He’s going to be so angry.” You whispered as your vision blurred.
“Stay here Y/N.” Bucky’s voice was gentle “he won’t touch you in here.”
“I can’t…I…I need to go…I should go.” You stammered as you rose to your feet, tears falling down your cheeks.
“It’s okay darling.” Winnie placed her hand on your arm “we can fix this.”
“H-how?” You squeaked out.
“Do you want to stay here Y/N?” Winnie asked “or you can come and stay with me for a while if you need.”
“I need to go home.” You responded.
“Okay…if that’s what you want.” Winnies voice was kind despite the tone of uncertainty “Jamie, go get some grocery bags, we’ll fill them with stuff from the fridge and you tell him you’ve been to the store, simple.”
“Will that work?” You asked hopefully.
“It worked for me.” Winnie said solemnly.
You made your way around the back of Bucky’s house, hands trembling as you clutched the grocery bags Winnie had loaded with produce from Bucky’s fridge.
“Where have you been?” Jack questioned as soon as you walked through the door.
“Just to the store.” You held up the bags.
He nodded in acceptance, allowing you to pass so you could go to put the things in the fridge.
“How was your weekend?” You asked.
“I missed you.” You said, hoping he’d believe you.
“Jasper and Brock are coming over tonight.” He ignored your statement “behave yourself.”
“Okay.” Your voice was quiet.
“Clean this place up before they come over.” He ordered “it’s fucking disgusting.”
You obediently went over to grab your cleaning supplies, not wanting to anger him.
“What if he hurts her?” Bucky questioned as he paced his living room.
“Jamie, you need to relax.” Winnie said softly.
“I should go over there.” Bucky continued to pace “she needs to leave him.”
“You can’t force her to do anything.” Becca spoke up “it’s her decision.”
“Becca’s right.” Winnie said “you can’t drag her out of there, it needs to be her decision.”
“I…I really like her.” Bucky’s voice was quiet.
“I know you do.” Winnie said softly “just be there for her, let her know that you care.”
You hated Jack’s friends. You hated the way their eyes raked up and down your body, you hated their sleazy remarks and their sexist jokes.
“How about you get me a beer sweetheart.” Brock’s voice sounded over to you.
The first couple of times he’d asked you’d handed him a beer with a smile, but you were becoming frustrated.
“Get it yourself.” You grumbled, not quite realising you’d spoken out loud.
“What the fuck did you just say?” Jacks voice sounded out.
“You should teach her some manners.” Jasper sneered.
“Apologise.” Jack demanded.
“No.” You stood your ground, not willing to bow down for once in your life.
“It wasn’t a fucking option.” Jacks voice boomed.
You saw the anger in his eyes, but you weren’t expecting to see that same anger in the eyes of the other two men.
You turned to run out of the door, but just as you were reaching the handle Jack grabbed your hair; dragging you backwards.
“Don’t worry babe, we’ll teach you some manners.” He sneered as he dragged you to the sofa where the other two men were grinning.
“Who wants to go first?” Jack asked his friends with a grin on his face.
Everything hurt. You couldn’t pick out where the pain was, it was too extensive.
You were about the drag yourself out of bed when you heard the bedroom door open.
“Hey beautiful.” Jack smiled at you.
“You did good last night babe.” He handed you a cup of tea as he sat beside you.
“Don’t ignore me.” He spoke up again.
“I’m sorry.” You hated how weak your voice sounded.
“I’m heading into work, I might be late.” He said “we’re working on another raid of that biker gangs base, we didn’t turn anything up last time.”
“How about you make that pasta I like for dinner?” He suggested.
“Is everything okay babe?” He asked “you’re being really weird.
“Just…hurting a little after last night.” You dared to speak up.
“You should have said, we would have stopped if you’d told us.” His voice was filled with innocence, as if he’d done nothing wrong.
“I forgive you.” He smiled, planting a kiss on your forehead before grabbing his gun from the draw “I’ll see you tonight.”
Once he’d left you counted to 100 before getting out of bed, checking outside to make sure his car was nowhere to be seen.
You let out a sigh of relief when you knew he was really gone. Running out of the door as quickly as possible.
Bucky yawned before downing the remainder of his coffee, preparing for another long day at the club. He was slightly taken aback when he heard a knock at the door, he was expecting Steve; but Steve would normally just let himself in.
“Hey.” Bucky said happily when he opened the door to you, although his cheerful tone quickly vanished when he took in your appearance.
“C-can I come in?” You we’re on the brink of tears.
Bucky quickly ushered you inside, closing the door behind you.
“What happened?” Bucky knelt down in front of you once you were seated on the sofa.
“I…I don’t…I’m not…I…” you couldn’t form any words, your thoughts jumbling into one.
“Deep breath sweetheart.” Bucky said softly.
“I…I think I need your help…to…to get out.” You spoke up after a long pause.
Note- sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, I hope it was worth the wait! I’ve finally managed to sort out my tumblr so I can reply to asks/comments, any feedback is always appreciated! For some reason there was some people I was unable to tag- sorry if this is you❤️
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