I AM DONE WITH MY GRACELESS HEART.

❝ regrets collect like old friends, here to RELIVE your DARKEST moments. i can see no way, i can see no way. and all of the ghouls come out to PLAY. and every demon wants his pound of flesh. but i like to keep some things to myself. i like to KEEP my issues d r a w n . it's always darkest before the DAWN. and i've been a f o o l and i've been blind. i can never L E A V E the PAST behind. i can see no way, i can see no way. i'm always DRAGGING that horse around. ❞ [ LILY LUNA POTTER. ] xx. guard and soldier. gryffindor alumni. ( you silly little girl, you think you’ve survived so long survival shouldn’t hurt anymore. you keep trying to turn your body bulletproof. you keep trying to turn your heart bomb shelter. stop, darling. you are soft and alive. you bruise and heal. cherish it. it is what you were born to do. it will not be beautiful, but the truth never is. come now, you promised yourself. you promised you’d live through this. )

[spitfircs]

{ lily luna potter moodboard 2/??? • INTERNAL GRIEF }

❝ she didn’t sob or wail. her grief was horribly discreet but as persistent and almost as silent as bleeding from an unstitched wound. ❞

( why does tragedy exist? because you are full of rage. why are you full of rage? because you are full of grief. )

[sectvmsemprvs]

Donning a pair of fetching shamrock glasses (thank you, NEWT level Transfiguration) and an equally appalling—but in his words, festive—leprechaun costume, James had somehow ended up behind the bar, not taking orders so much as hoisting off his cocktails on anyone who would take them. “C’mon, now, no complaints! I don’t see you back here mixing drinks!”

[spitfircs]

Lily’s brown eyes widened when she caught sight of his costume. “What the fuck are you wearing? The invitation said casual dressy, not worst DIY costumes! God, I’m going to have to figure out how to obliviate everyone here, including myself.” she griped, burying her face in her hands for several moments. “Go back to your room and change. Borrow something from Alex if you have to, he knows style!”

[arlcnchevalier]

While he was happy everyone was having a good time, he didn’t much like crowds. And he liked them even less when they were either intoxicated. So he sat back against the wall, not much bothering with anything or anyone except for the food. Until someone sat down directly beside him. “…. Can I help you? I’m wearing green, this is as festive as I get.”

[spitfircs]

Lily flashed him a cheshire cat smile. “Yeah, I have a little proposition for you actually -- I heard you like ‘making things go boom.’ Do you want to help me set off these experimental Whizbangs in someone’s room? It’s a long story, but I promise they deserve it. Besides, you look a little bored anyways.”

[sectvmsemprvs]

They should know by now parties weren’t the safest idea, but Sebastian couldn’t say he was opposed to the idea—–what else would break up the daily struggle to survive that all their lives had become? So he grabbed a bottle from where the makeshift bar had been set up, reading the label with no small amount of skepticism, “Fishy Green Ale?” Even after a few months, the wizarding world still struck him as completely odd. “Sounds appetizing.”

[spitfircs]

Lily heaved a light sigh. “My brother brought that -- he said it was festively green, but he’s the only idiot here dressed as a leprechaun. And he is not the family member who would’ve been able to pull a leprechaun costume off. That person is obviously me, an actual redhead. Not that I would ever -- god, he is so lucky there was never a wixen version of the show Fashion Police.” She rolled her eyes before taking another swig of her Irish Cream Float. “Anyways...do you want me to whip you a drink? I’m actually pretty good at it -- I worked as a part time bartender after graduating Hogwarts, while I was doing my Auror training. You know, before all of this.” She gesticulated around the room vaguely, a substitute for saying ‘before the end of the world’. She refused to be the downer of this party; Sebastian was surly enough for the both of them.

[spitfircs]

5. teddy, james, clara hahahaha

KILL, BETRAY, HAVE ON YOUR ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE TEAM - TEDDY, JAMES, CLARA

“I’d pick Teddy to be on my zombie apocalypse team because, well, who wouldn’t want him on their team? He’s extraordinary at combat and incredibly lucky. And he’s like a big brother to me so...I’d want to keep him safe. I’d betray James but in an annoying little sister way like -- telling Cel an embarrassing story about him or tattling on him to Mum and Dad. Then I’d...I’d kill Clara because...I already did that. I already betrayed her, already killed her. What’s done is done.”

[spitfircs]

4. celeste nadia bram

ADOPT, BY ADOPTED BY, MARRY - CELESTE, NADIA, BRAM

“I’d definitely adopt Zabini because you know she’d absolutely hate being a Weasley-Potter, and it’d be a right laugh. I’d probably charm her hair red and give her freckles too, really make her feel like she’s one of us. I can’t be adopted by or adopt Celeste because that’d make her relationship with James borderline incest, so I’ll marry her again. Problem…somewhat solved. And that leaves Bram to be adopted by and from what I know about the Goyles, I definitely wouldn’t want to be part of that family, so I’d file for emancipation straight afterwards. I’d just have to make sure they don’t hatch a plot to steal my enormous fortune because according to Lemony Snicket, that’s a real problem with wealthy adoptees.”

[spitfircs]

2. scorpius + cel + val

MARRY, CUDDLE, SLEEP WITH - SCORPIUS, CELESTE, VALERIA

“I’d definitely marry Celeste. She’s wife material, and it’s not like we don’t already act like we’re married, so you can just call me Ms. Steal Your Girl, James. If you liked it, then you should’ve put a ring on it. I’d cuddle Scorpius because he’s like my brother, and I can’t really entertain the idea of sleeping with him without feeling the urge to vomit. Fuck – that leaves Carrow to shag, which – disgusting. I guess I walked right into this one, but she’s…not that horrible looking, and I figure she must be more pleasant when her mouth’s busy. I don’t really know how Alex has put up with her for this long if she’s not.”

[the-write-ideas]

Send me three names + a number...

[spitfircs]

the-write-ideas:

fuck, marry, kill

marry, cuddle, sleep with

fuck, take a bullet for, murder

adopt, be adopted by, marry

kill, betray, have on your zombie apocalypse team

seduce, steal from, serenade

[stcrsandclouds-blog]

      “here, try some of this. i promise it’s good.” the boy voiced gently, placing a small piece of lemon meringue pie into a bowl for the person nearby, making sure to add a bit of whipped cream right on top. “but if you don’t like it, it’s all right. just try a little. i think i finally mastered how to make it.” cooking was a lot easier for rhys than baking, so he spent more time practicing on his baking skills — as long as the food supply inventory allowed it. he, of course, didn’t want to waste food, so he had to pick and choose his battles. “i promised one little girl a few days ago that i would bring her some if she did well on her homework.”

[spitfircs]

lily’s mouth practically watered at the sight of fresh lemon meringue pie with a dollop of whipped cream. dessert was a frivolous luxury in the zombie apocalypse, but merlin, sometimes she felt as though she would commit murder if the bounty was a slice of her favorite treacle tart. “just try a little? rhys, you’ll have to pry this bowl from my cold, DEAD hands. do you have any idea at all how long it’s been since i’ve had pie? i don’t even know how you managed to convince inventory to give you the ingredients.” she marveled before taking a generous bite. and then another. “fuck, this is so good. it’s just like grandma used to make, and i’ve always said she could win the great british bake-off, so that’s honestly the highest of compliments. i only have one question, can you make treacle tart? because if you can, i just might ask for your hand in marriage. or hire you as my personal chef.”

[spitfircs]

who are we counting as family?

“About half of the castle.” Lily quipped, glancing around the Great Hall in a vain attempt to find everyone in the crowd. It had been the running gag of their school days: ‘The Weasleys breed like bunnies! The Weasleys are related to everyone!’ Those were much simpler times. Lily started counting with her fingers. “Anyone with the last name Weasley or Potter but that goes without saying, of course. The Longbottoms and the Scamanders are definitely family as well. Teddy is everyone’s big brother…I suppose we should count Nadia Zabini too since he put a ring on it. And we can’t forget Cel, apparently her mum wanted James to put a ring on it. Can you believe that? Scorpius might as well be a Weasley at this point; I swear if you’re up close you can still see the faintest markings of those tattoos Molly cast on him. McGonagall is the stern great-grandmother I never had – come on, do you honestly expect me to name everyone? Almost all purebloods are at least distantly related, if you want to get technical, but family’s not about blood, is it? It’s about love. Who would you do anything for? That’s your family.”

[spitfircs]

"you’re in my head all day. i can’t concentrate."

Lily’s body went still, her breath catching in her throat when Sebastian’s hand gingerly clasped around hers. She’d come to regard him as someone steady to lean against, so quietly courageous and resolute, but right now, he was tentative in a way she’d quite never seen him act before, almost as though he was terrified his actions would scare her off. And she would be lying if she said her first instinct wasn’t to run away. Stripped away of all her bravado, she didn’t feel like a bold Gryffindor right now, just a girl who was absolutely petrified of being hurt ( again ). “I -- ” Lily started, for once not having a snappy retort to throw at him. She was close enough to kiss him, if she would only give in. “I don’t think we should -- look, it’s just -- complicated. Everything’s too complicated right now.” she murmured, finally pulling her hand away and stepping back. “We should just be friends.”

[lgbtcorp]

    fear the walking dead sentence meme:     episode 4 - 6

they don’t die. they keep coming back.

people like us run like cattle, piled into trucks – one suitcase apiece.

it’s safe inside the fence. outside, everything’s dead. everyone’s gone.

turns out there’s nothing you’ll ever take that nature won’t take back.

it all belongs to nature. and the dogs. and the dead.

she’s helping sick people.

it’s not normal. stop it. stop acting like it is.

they said there’s nothing alive out there.

i think there’s someone out there.

she needs it more than i do. you said so yourself.

don’t be a hero.

curfew will remain in effect until further notice.

be nice. so i don’t have to shoot you.

either you’re gonna go in and you’re gonna talk him down, or i’m gonna go in and i’m gonna take him down.

you’re worrying your family.

i don’t think i can do it.

they keep asking me if everything’s gonna be okay and i – i don’t have the words.

it is gonna be okay.

you’re in my head all day. i can’t concentrate.

you’re the only thing that makes me believe there’s still good in people.

where the hell is my damn truck?

was that make-up sex?

what’s going on with you?

you’re buzzing around here all day, every day, driving yourself nuts.

that is their duty.

are you listening to yourself? you’re talking paranoid.

can’t have that around camp.

there’s nothing alive out there.

i’ve already met four people that swear you’re the reason they’re alive.

he was gonna die. i didn’t know what else to do.

are you the one that decides who goes to this facility?

your friend is in good hands.

you’re a very attractive woman.

my father told me not to have hatred in my heart.

men do these things not because of evil. they do evil because of fear.

what the hell happened to your face?

take it easy!

don’t you hurt him!

he’s not a risk. i’ll look after him.

if you find this, i love you.

what i saw was prophesied. what i saw was godly.

i wish you were here, but i will see you soon.

what kind of man does that?

i don’t know what came over him.

tell me, you fascist pricks!

i’m gonna show you hostile!

you know they’re not here to protect us.

get any sleep?

what the hell is wrong with you?!

what if she dies?

i need you to be strong now, okay?

i can’t hold us together on my own.

i don’t want her to be scared.

this is how we bring them home.

i want to help you.

now we have something to trade.

i don’t want you to hurt him.

these guys are not warriors.

can you help me get my people back or not?

i said you couldn’t do that. i can do anything i want.

i got guns.

get your ass back in the truck.

i won’t hold nothing back.

i’ll tell you whatever you want.

when it comes to getting his hands dirty, he doesn’t want to.

you don’t think she’s human, do you? ‘cause if you do – if that’s what you think – then we’re just a bunch of murderers.

that ain’t a person.

are those bite marks?!

one slip-up, one 'what if’ and we all start finding out how the neighbours taste.

so when we roll up on this bitch, you stay in the truck.

some people don’t trust the government.

the man with the blade and the man in the chair – they’re not different. they both suffer.

have you no respect for private property?

is that your bike?

i’ll ask the questions.

i’m kind of the law in these parts.

come on, i want to show you something.

they’re not coming back.

i’m not sick.

if the kid turns, it’s your ass.

i told her in detail about the violence, what was done, how we suffered.

do you think she will understand that it was necessary then to survive?

sometimes all we can do isn’t enough.

do you wonder what happened to them?

i can hear them. i can still hear them.

tell him what you told us.

i was wishing we had something to mask the smell of urine.

i look at you and i see someone who knows the meaning of necessity.

i’m gonna require a man with your talents when i make my move.

they all come back.

traumatic brain injury is the only thing that stops it.

we don’t want her to turn.

i thought this was getting better.

i thought we were winning.

it’s not safe for us to stay.

each for our own now.

we’ve got enough food and water to last us.

you won’t get in without me.

you lied to me my whole life.

they did nothing when they came for us.

who are we counting as family?

what is family now?

you might as well kill me now.

he cuts me. he mutilates me.

i will help you find your family.

just cut me loose. please.

i don’t want to have to shoot you.

you should save your ammunition.

you’ll see where doing the right thing gets you.

if things go sideways – if you see anything – you drive.

you’re gonna be okay.

take care of her, okay?

would you rather they all died?

i don’t want anyone to die.

you can’t save everyone.

if they’re dead, they’ll just keep walking, right?

it’s alright. they’re slow.

please, kill me.

the infection took her.

there’s nothing left to see.

i’ll take you with my family, but we need your help.

the dead will hear you and they will come.

you don’t have to do this, okay?

just put the gun down.

we can follow the river down to the sea.

generators kick on when the power dies.

i feel strange.

we don’t know where we’re going.

it’s like i’ve been living like this for a long time, and now everyone is catching up with me.

the only way to survive a mad world is to embrace the madness.

it doesn’t matter how you die. you come back.

don’t let that happen to me.

[spitfircs]

LILY LUNA POTTER really is the spitting image of MADELAINE PETSCH, right? For someone only TWENTY years old, LILS has been forced to endure so much. Yeah, that HALFBLOOD has been scraping by at the sanctuary since MARCH, 2028, working as a SOLDIER AND GUARD in the DIVISION OF PROTECTION. SHE identifies as CIS-FEMALE and is known to be CHOLERIC and SANCTIMONIOUS but also DAUNTLESS and FERVENT. Best of luck surviving through this. ⊰ SARAH, TWENTY, PST, SHE/HER ⊱

– CHARACTER PARALLELS: blossom (powerpuff girls), barbara gordon (batman comics), rose hathaway (vampire academy), buffy summers (buffy: the vampire slayer), anastasia (anastasia 1997), leia organa (star wars), mary jane watson (spiderman), nina zenik (six of crows), kim possible (kim possible)

**there are triggers for death, emotional abuse, and alcoholism under the read more, but they’re all marked beforehand, so you can easily skip over those bullet points! if you want to plot, just like this and i’ll hit you up!

– INTRODUCTION

lily is known for her liveliness and her energy. the girl can’t stand being bored, and sitting around doing nothing frustrates her more than anything. most of the gryffindors viewed her as fun, but her idea of fun doesn’t align with everyone. she likes excitement and adventure. she would take a swim in the lake when it’s freezing cold outside; she would drink until she’s completely wasted; she would set off fireworks in the great hall with her friends; she would even explore the forbidden forest at night if she’s bored enough.

she’s also known for her quick wit and sense of humor, always ready with a comeback. her favorite teachers called her cheeky, while her least favorite called her a troublemaker. she’ll mouth off to anyone, consequences be damned, and it earned her a fair amount of detention sentences over the years. she just can’t help it but sass most of the time. it’s almost a defense mechanism, a way for lily to deflect.

lily knows how to lie, and admittedly, she’s very often dishonest. but she knows how to persuade. she speaks with conviction, her voice unwavering as she spins her webs, a stellar actress. she’s not pathological, but there’s a lot she likes to keep to herself. a lot of weakness and vulnerability that she doesn’t like to share with just anyone. at times, lily is so talented at lying that she is capable of deluding herself, burying some things that she doesn’t care to admit so far in the cobwebs of her mind that the denial becomes subconscious.

she has the heart of a lion. fierce, bold, and strong, lily’s the type of person you’d want beside you in a time of crisis. she’s a textbook gryffindor, ready for a fight and nearly impossible to scare. the girl could be considered too brave; her unwavering courageousness could easily get her killed someday. things that should terrify any sane person, such as bloodthirsty death eaters or inferi, never scare her. lily is recklessly dauntless, and she’s proud of it. there is nothing she values about herself more than her bravery. if you want lily to go berserk, all you have to do is call her a coward.

lily isn’t afraid to say what she thinks or stand up to people. she’s blunt and outspoken–sometimes harsh–always feeling the need to express her opinion. to make matters worse, she’s very argumentative and steadfast on her beliefs; she could debate for hours about something. in fact, lily actually enjoys arguing and debate, sometimes even picking fights with blood elitists and enemies merely due to boredom, provoking them for no reason other than craving combat. incredibly hot-tempered, she’s usually fighting with someone about one thing or another and isn’t afraid to resort to violence if her point isn’t coming across.

there is a softer, kinder side to lily behind all her bravado though. she isn’t exactly nice, but she is caring and selfless. and she isn’t inherently cruel. she’d never hurt someone on purpose unless they didn’t absolutely deserve it in her opinion ( though she’s been wrong before on so many occasions ). she’s passionate, loyal, and protective about the things and people that she loves. she would sacrifice her life for someone she cares about in a heartbeat. she has a weakness for heroics, feeling a need to save people and fix everything, carrying the world on her shoulders. this is, of course, unreasonable, but she believes she has to be that way because of the family she comes from. from day one, she has had expectations placed on her because she’s a potter, and rather than fight them, she feels the need to live up to them. she feels as if the world is expecting her to be a hero because her family is so respected and moral. these expectations and complexes of hers are what drives lily.

she is a perfectionist. lily is constantly pushing herself past her limits and often tries to do far more than what she is capable of. lily refuses to stop and rest, and she’ll continue to refuse until the day she dies. she stayed up too late to maintain her near-perfect grades. she practiced for quidditch nearly every morning. she poured over her dada textbooks for hours on end so that she’ll win every duel in dueling club. and after she graduated, she worked extremely hard to receive top marks on her auror examinations. lily is competitive and feels the need to be the best because her insecurities cause her to worry that she isn’t good enough, that she’ll never be good enough. it’s self-induced pressure–no one places unrealistic expectations on the girl but herself. in actuality, people may expect lily to be brave and heroic like her parents, but no one expects her to be the best at everything, and she puts most of the pressure on herself due to her own insecurities. it’s only lily who thinks she isn’t good enough, and one of her biggest flaws is her tendency to compare herself to other people rather than seeing herself as her own person. people who are better than her are often met with green, envy rattling in her core, as much as she tries to ignore it.

even though she appears completely fearless to most, lily is actually only almost devoid of fear, not that she would ever admit she was anything less than dauntless. she rarely ever speaks of emotions of fear in front of other people, pretending that nothing fazes her. she doesn’t want anyone to know that she can be scared or weak sometimes. she’s a gryffindor and a potter, so as far as she’s concerned, she’s not allowed to be. lily is expected to be strong and fearless, just like her parents, so that’s what she claims to be whereas, in reality, she can be afraid just like any other person; she’s just good at hiding things. the thought of losing people she cares about absolutely terrifies her, especially now that there’s a zombie outbreak and a war. along with that, she has always felt pressure to be great; lily has spent her whole life worrying whether or not she’s good enough due to her family’s achievements. just like her father, she’s always felt the need to be a hero.

it’s frightening, really, how much little regard she has for her own life. her self worth is nonexistent in the scheme of things. she’ll fight nail and tooth to live but only because she wants to be there to protect her loved ones; she sees her life as second to theirs. if she thought she could save someone she views as good by sacrificing herself, if there was even the slightest possibility, lily would do it in an instant. without thinking. because lily truly believes that her loved ones would get over it, maybe not at first but eventually. and she’s okay with that. she’d want them to move on with their loves, to stop mourning her and find happiness. for lily, there is no better way to go than to go down fighting. to go down while defending her loved ones and her beliefs.

but if a cure is ever discovered and she does end up surviving the zombie apocalypse, lily plans on finishing her auror training and eventually working her way up to head of the department, just like her father before her. it’s just what she’s always wanted to do. again, the girl has a hero complex. lily believes her true calling in life is on the battlefield, protecting the innocent and bringing justice to the world.

lily is a control freak–bossy, domineering, and assertive. losing control is her greatest fear, so she’d never let anyone get the best of her. lily always needs to do something because that’s how she finds control in her own destiny. it always takes time to earn her trust because she fears betrayal and manipulating, causing her to be naturally suspicious of others’ intentions. she’ll fight like hell when others get in the way of her plans; her fear of losing control doesn’t allow her to adapt to change easily. oddly enough, even though she’s been surrounded by love her entire life, she’s even afraid of falling in love for those very reasons. the thought of falling for someone who may or may not love her back, allowing herself to be that vulnerable in front of someone, has always scared her more than she would care to admit. lily needs to feel safe, and being in love with someone who could break your heart is something only fools would do in her opinion.

lily won’t admit to sadness or heartache either, not wanting others to think less of her. through sheer willpower alone, the girl has not cried since she was six though there have been moments where she wished she could allow herself to. but ironically, even though she hides her emotions the majority of the time, she is consumed by them. they control and drive her, often even to the point of recklessness. logic falls on deaf ears to this girl, making her much more likely to make mistakes and get into trouble. she has a good brain on her shoulders and should know better than to act without thinking, but she doesn’t. lily’s impulsive, reckless, and impetuous, mostly relying on pure instinct. and she’s as stubborn as a mule as well. it’s very hard to convince her not to do something once her mind is set. and bare nerves, stubbornness, and recklessness is a dangerous combination–a mixture not usually found in those who like to live long lives. lily is aware of how foolish she can be, but she just doesn’t care. as far as she’s concerned, if something’s the right thing to do, it’s the right thing to do, regardless of the possible consequences.

but here’s the problem: she’s so often wrong. her black-and-white and self-righteous beliefs are so instilled in her that she can’t see the bigger picture. she can’t recognize that the population isn’t capable of being sorted in categories of good and evil. she doesn’t see shades of grey, judging others by their actions and beliefs regardless of the circumstances. death eaters and dark wixes are not seen by lily as people–only monsters incapable of human emotion. she hates them all so intensely that she is blind to the fact that they experience true emotions too. and most of all, she doesn’t realize that the other side is just as capable of loving others to the point of consumption as she is–and that they should be feared for that.

– EXTRA INFORMATION

her relatives always told the same little anecdotes about her birth. after all those times she heard them over family dinner, birthday parties, the occasional family outings―any time and place her parents could embarrass her, honestly―she memorized them. her mother would always go on and on about the pain, how it felt like “a bloody watermelon was coming out of my birth canal,” and her father would always reminisce about how she cursed like a sailor at him every five minutes for “putting this goddamn demon baby in my tiny stomach” and how she threatened to strangle him later. uncle ron would always talk about how he almost fainted when lily came out of ginny because holy crap the blood. and of course, grandmum molly would always reprimand them for exaggerating and reassure everyone that ginny never once called her a demon. but here was the part that always stuck to lily the most: she was the hardest, most painful birth out of the three. when ginny finally did manage to push her out, lily kicked and screamed and cried, and her mother looked at her and said faintly, still weak from the pain, “that’s it. i’m done.” and lily were their final child. ( yeah, in all honesty, lily luna potter has been a pain in the arse since the day she was born. and she’s proud of it. )

her parents decided to name her lily luna – lily after harry’s deceased mother and luna after harry and ginny’s dear friend. luna was also chosen to be lily’s godmother, with hagrid as her godfather. ( further name explanation here if you’re interested )

only 5 feet, she’s pint sized and yet she’s somehow still full of anger. she’ll kick anyone’s ass anytime anywhere! 100% free! human embodiment of (ง •̀_•́)ง right here

funnily enough she’s kind of a big nerd tbh but you didn’t hear it from me – her aunt hermione made sure to instill a strong love of classic literature in her, but she also loves so many “nerdy” franchises, and people are usually surprised ( if they know what she’s talking about at all because she’s so fond of muggle things ).

while obviously she doesn’t have the ability to enjoy these things anymore because of the zombie apocalypse, she has always had a lot of feminine interests as well. she loves makeup, fashion, romance movies, female pop artists, etc. – but if you try to demean her or make her feel lesser because of her femininity, she will make it her mission to annihilate you.

definitely a gryffindor but the hat did consider slytherin, just like it did for her dad, due to her ambition, determination, shrewdness, and resourcefulness and she was like “dafuq bruh?”

[ EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND ALCOHOLISM FOR THESE TWO BULLET POINTS ] lily has always been brazen and intrepid and fierce, but as a child, she was just a bit softer, before the world hardened her. unfortunately, growing up under the microscope of the media, she was still left vulnerable to vitriol and sexualization, and it forced her to grow up too fast, despite her family’s best efforts to shield their little girl. this is when her insecurities truly started to grapple her, but she responded by putting on an adamantine face and feigning confidence. when she was in her third year, she dated someone for the first time. he was incredibly charismatic, but of course, much like tom riddle jr, charm came hand in hand with manipulation. in a machiavellian fashion, he pinpointed her insecurities and attacked, using them to influence and control her in a manner that was so sly it took her ages to realize it. this was all while convincing her to keep their relationship a secret, so her family would be none the wiser, which isolated her from those who truly cared about her. after about five or six months, she finally recognized something was very wrong and broke free from him, but the emotional abuse and gaslighting left its toll on her as she came to terms with it, especially after she found out he had been cheating on her almost the whole time. never in her life had she felt so stupid, so foolish, and she vowed to never lose control again. nowadays, she never lasts in a romantic relationship long, flitting from person to person. she hasn’t ever talked about what happened, but in his seventh year ( her fifth ), he was struck with a curse that permanently left his wand hand shriveled and black.

after she broke up with him, she also started drinking at parties to endure the fame and trauma, savoring how the firewhiskey numbed her and allowed her an temporary escape from herself. it started out innocuous, but she will fall deeper into her alcoholism as the plot progresses because it’s very much a coping mechanism for her. while she doesn’t truly hide her drinking, she shuts down anyone who tries to tell her she has a problem. [ END EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND ALCOHOLISM MENTIONS ]

during school, she was also a chaser for the quidditch team and the captain of dueling club. the athleticism and skills that she picked up from these extracurricular activities have definitely helped her survive this long. both the quidditch team and dueling club mattered so much to her and she worked so so hard to excel at both tbh?? but she definitely prioritized dueling club a little bit more because it was important to her future career as an auror. with the sheer strength behind her spellwork and her natural instincts, she’s considered to be a dueling prodigy of sorts, winning numerous trophies in her hogwarts years and receiving the highest marks for dueling on her auror examinations.

she nearly failed the leglimency/occlumency and wandless magic portions though yikes. much like her father, she has a lot of difficulty with emotional control and compartmentalization. because she feels everything so intensely, it’s a struggle for her to shut her emotions down. thus, on the rare occasions she has managed to achieve wandless magic, it’s always been accidental and explosive, lacking any semblance of control.

after she completed her schooling, she not only immediately applied for the auror program but also joined the order of the phoenix. her loyalty to them is so unwavering that it’s one of the reasons why her patronus is a phoenix. ( in fact, she might be a little too loyal to them in all honesty. )  it’s not at all a secret she’s on their side either. she’s very open and obvious about it, and of course she is a potter, so people weren’t really expecting her to be any different. during the war, she was a soldier on the front lines. she also partook in several secret missions ( a lot of them admittedly unsanctioned ) to decimate death eater safehouses and kill higher-ranking death eaters.

when the zombie outbreak happened, she was on the cusp of completing her auror training. well into the final portion of training -- fieldwork -- she had been paired with some senior aurors for field missions and cases. since she was so close to finally graduating, she obviously was not happy when the ministry inevitably fell and her training was cut short, to say the least. but if she wanted to survive she had to #deal with it so she made arrangements to move into the sanctuary at hogwarts, along with the rest of her family. ( she would never want to be separated from them tbh. family is the most important thing to her. always. she’ll stick with them through thick and thin, and her dad will forever be not just the wizarding world’s hero but her hero. she would follow him to the end of the world in all honesty. )

she knows there’s a good chance she might die in the zombie apocalypse. she does want to live and stay with her loved ones even if there is a part of her that gets progressively wearier the longer it all progresses. basically, think that scene in ootp where harry just starts screaming, “i don’t care. i’ve had enough. i’ve seen enough, i want out, i want it to end, i don’t care anymore!” and dumbledore goes “you do care. you care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” because that’s so lily at times. ultimately though, she does want to live – and notice i said live not just survive – even though she struggles with dealing with all the emotions she feels so vehemently. ( she would give up her life though if it meant saving someone else. easily. especially if that someone else was a family member. )

[ DEATH AND MOURNING MENTION FOR THIS BULLET POINT ] she’s such a dog person – once during her second year she tried to sneak in another three-headed puppy into hogwarts with hagrid; he was a vicious little thing named buddy ( because these two consider any dogs their buddies tbh ). but mcgoogles caught them and holy shit the poor headmistress screamed at the pair of them so loudly the hogsmeade villagers most likely heard. and buddy was given back to the “greek chappie” hagrid got him from. but now lily owns a little cairn terrier who’s a precious bean. his name is toto because he looks suspiciously like toto from wizard of oz, a favorite childhood movie of hers, and a couple of years ago he was given to lily by her best friend, clarabel, who was particularly talented at conjuring animals. after making arrangements to move into the hogwarts sanctuary, lily returned home to the apartment she shared with clara to retrieve her belongings and convince her roommate to come with her to hogwarts, but she quickly realized she was too late. the apartment had been ransacked and clarabel had clearly been turned into one of them. forced to kill her best friend, lily has absolutely refused to let her dog toto go in her grief, and at this point, everyone is honestly a little too scared to order her to do so. thus, toto lives with her in her bedroom at hogwarts, much to her new roommate’s displeasure. [ END DEATH AND MOURNING MENTIONS ]

alright, this has gotten long enough so i’ll finish things off now, but again, if you want to plot, just give this a like and i’ll come to you!! (or im me if you’re feeling ambitious) i’d love to work out some more connections!!

[wardeniii]

“So, what are your resolutions?” @lilyii

“To let go.” Juliana’s legs dangled over the edge of the Astronomy Tower, her cheek pressed against the cool metal of the handrail as she nursed something dark and thick. The amber liquid warmed her from her belly outward. “Anger is so exhausting, you know, and so is grief. It’s like, no matter what you do there’s other people to take from you. And, merlin, they take, and they take, and they – -” Her gaze cut to Lily, and, for a moment, Juliana forgot who she was talking to. Heat flared in her chest, and she looked away onto the horizon. “One day we’re all going to wake up and realise everyone is either a ghost or dust. I’d rather be the dust, wouldn’t you?”

[spitfircs]

Lily’s eyes lingered charily on Juliana, surveying her as she dangled over the railing. Everything in her wanted to run away, to retreat back to the safety of her dorm -- this wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have, especially not with her. Lily’s trust was hard-won, and there were a million reasons why she didn’t believe in Juliana. But fleeing was the coward’s choice and she would never allow herself to be considered a coward. So instead, Lily straightened her spine and jutted her chin. Lionesses didn’t shrink. “Ghosts. I’ve been haunted before.” she clipped. Juliana was all that left of him on this Earth -- she was already a ghost. Her ghost. “But I like my anger. It’s what I know -- what I’m good at. It fuels me, and it gives me something to fight for. At least I have a purpose, whereas you -- you are a hindrance.” she seethed. Anger pooled in her chest and she allowed that white-hot fury towards Juliana to ground her. “I know what you’re doing, you know. Let go, anger is exhausting and so is grief -- you’re not slick, Rookwood. If this is your halfhearted attempt to emotionally manipulate me into trusting you -- into forgiving you, it won’t work. I’m smarter than that now.” She paused for a few moments before murmuring, “You should take a cold hard look at yourself and think about the family you’re grieving. Maybe if you stopped viewing them with rose-colored glasses, you’d see that the world is better off now that they’re dead. And so are you.” 

[sectvmsemprvs]

“Look, I know you’d rather be in bed, but could you at least pretend to be excited?” @lilyii

Sebastian’s face flushed; feeling guilty, he took and extra big drink from the glass he’d been handed when he walked in. “I’m having fun, I just—-I don’t really know anyone except you, and Cel, and—James. And I don’t think he likes me much.”

[spitfircs]

“Hey, pace yourself on the firewhiskey, wizard alcohol is...potent, especially for muggles. It’ll knock on your arse if you’re not careful.” Lily warned before shrugging her shoulders slightly. “Yeah, I think he’s just a little jealous. He and Celeste kind of, almost had a thing going on before all of this--” Lily gestured vaguely. “--and well, then you showed up. But he’s a big boy, he’ll get over it soon enough.” She took another drink of her firewhiskey. “You two are cute by the way. You going to go for that New Years’ kiss?”

[sectvmsemprvs]

“You need my help? You want to kiss Celeste at midnight and you need me to help you make it happen?” @lilyii

“Psh. I don’t need—-I don’t need any help, if I wanted to kiss Cel, it’d happen—-but hypothetically, if you had any tips, I’d be all ears.”

[spitfircs]

“Smooth, Jamie. You’re a regular casanova.” Lily let out an exaggerated tut. “I’m not so sure if I should be helping you in the first place. I heard about what happened last year, you know. I thought you were better than a douchebag who doesn’t call back.” She sighed, raking her fingers through her red locks. “I could’ve gotten over the awkwardness of you dating my best friend but if you’re just screwing around -- if you’re just going to break her heart without a thought -- don’t think I won’t render you bald the rest of your life. You’ll never see that mullet of yours ever again. So tell me now, are you actually serious about her?”

[antifragiile]

[youngsoldiers]

bettinarps:

tamsin egerton and madelaine petsch manip, as requested by anonymous.