SharkyMeowMeow

They/Them pref, any are fine my name is sharky or squid not a minor

[robs-your-robins]

Got any angsty headcannons?

Damian loves animals so much because he uses them to replace the unconditional love he never got at the League.

Dick sometimes missing travelling, he misses being on the road and sometimes he can get very melancholy. He yearns for the open road and wide skies above him.

Bruce wanted to sleep in Alfred's bed after his parents died because he was scared but Alfred wouldn't let him, using the excuse that he needed to stand on his own two feet but Alfred didn't want Bruce to see him cry.

Dick sometimes talks to himself in Romani, especially when he is anxious or upset.

Tim was scared to come out as bisexual not because he was worried about other people's reactions, he just wasn't ready to admit it to himself.

Jason has really intense food insecurity issues, his safehouses are always stocked and sometimes the others make fun of him for always having so much of everything but they don't get it.

Steph sometimes wishes that her dad was still around but always gets angry at herself for that thought.

Duke sometimes gets hurt when visiting his mom and dad and even though the nurses always remind him that he should have stayed the exact distance they set, he treasures the scratches and bruises because they remind him that his mom and dad are still alive.

Dick slept at the Manor for three months straight after finding out about Jason even though Bruce wouldn't talk to him but every night, he heard Bruce checking in on him and once or twice, he heard Bruce call him Jay.

Duke keeps his hair short because his mom used to take care of it for him and the idea of somebody else looking after his hair is too upsetting.

Damian sometimes gets homesick for the League and the few comforts of Nanda Parbat. When he does, he makes himself train harder.

Jason used to get harassed all the time on the streets by very unsavoury people and while he pretends that his time on the streets doesn't affect him, he has vivid nightmares about it from time to time.

Cass sometimes wants to be held but gets too embarrassed to ask so she just hangs around the people she wants to be close to.

Tim used to imagine that he was secretly a lost Wayne once they moved in to Drake Manor because his mom and dad were away so often and when he was adopted by Bruce, he felt sick because in some twisted way, he blames himself for making his wish come true.

Steph regrets how her Robin career ended and wishes she and Bruce could sit down and actually discuss that time but she doesn't think she can stomach his disappointment. But Bruce wants to apologise to her for what happened but he's not brave enough.

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 74 (masterpost here)

Jason: *over the sound of a motorcycle speeding* -swear to god, this bitch looks me dead in the eyes, and i'm thinking 'man i'm about to get clocked aren't i?'

Dick, indignant: Hood, you can't- *breathy laugh* you can't tell somebody to their face that their child looks like the 'do the roar' kid from Shrek!

Jason, still speeding: i can if it's true. anyway, she didn't clock me but she did tell me she was gonna report me to the HOA, so i was like, fuck man not this shit again,

Dick: *cackling*

Tim: they're like your version of the galactic empire, huh?

Jason: at this point, yeah. anyway i told her not to, and that we should just-

*tires screeching*

Jason: wHAT THE FUCK IS THAT- OHHOLYSHITFUCK-

*large crash* *burst of static* *silence*

Dick: ...Hood? fuck- HOOD?

Tim, casually: ope, there he goes.

Dick, panicking: FUCK. Hood, status? Hood!? shit, who's closest to Crime Alley?

Damian: uh- i am, i think, but i don't think Hood is hurt.

Dick: what? DID YOU NOT HEAR-?!?

Damian: i know; but Red isn't worried so obviously he's fine.

Dick: HOW THE FUCK WOULD HE KNOW, HE'S IN DIAMOND DISTRICT TONIGHT!?

Tim, absently: oh yeah Hood's fine, he probably just broke his com or something.

Damian: see? his sense would have gone off.

Dick: ...his 'sense'?

Damian: Red Robin has a special Hood-sense that tells him when Akhi is in danger.

Tim: hm- um, yeah. i got exposed to a magical artifact and now i'm connected to Hood mentally.

*a beat*

Dick: what.

Damian: Hood has text me. 'somebody shot a firework at my bike and it scared me, i broke my com in the crash, tell everyone i'm not dead'. ...i'm gonna go see if he needs help.

*disconnecting ping*

*silence*

Dick, muttering: 'a firework scared me' it's like working with a fucking border collie.

Tim: *snort* i mean at least he's alive?

Dick: yeah- ok, you do not have a fucking magical connection to Jason.

Tim, amused: yeah, nah i don't.

Dick: so what the fuck is he on about?

Tim, without missing a beat: oh we've synched our fitbits to compete in weekly step-counts, so if his heartbeat gets too elevated or stops completely i'd get an alert.

*a beat*

Dick: so why does Damian-?

Tim: we just thought it was funny if he thought i was magical.

[bingusmyboy]

Brothers going to the gym

[batmanasks]

if a vigilante whos whole gimmick is hes a baseball player with a mask who uses a baseball bat called batman be plagerism or just parallel thinking?

Both. I would have him come up with a different name.

Or her.

[squibyquiby]

or they

its pride month batman

[ultraviolettefan]

The Bats' Hug-Time: DND

What if The Bats have a scheduled hug time? Yk, like the ones from the first Trolls Movie?

The Bats have a scheduled hug time, and even if they're fighting, they're not allowed to skip it. People thought it was Dick who started "Hug Time", Bruce never corrected them; but back when Dick was still traumatized and angry at the world (much like Bruce was at a certain point in his life), Bruce realized that Dick needed to realize that he has someone there with him as he's working through the hardest time of his life.

But Bruce didn't want to just immediately scoop the kid up and hug him—that could shock the poor kid. So randomly, after dinner and desserts, Bruce looks at the giant grandfather clock and goes: "I'll be hugging you later 10 before you go to bed."

Dick is obviously confused, but it gives him time to prepare for said hug. Just as he's finished with his training and is ready for bed, the clock strikes 10 and Bruce does actually hug him. It becomes a routine for a while, a way for Bruce to comfort his new ward and also to let him get used to receiving affection again until Dick can start hugging Bruce whenever he feels like it.

Sometimes during patrol, either Robin or Batman would just walk up to the other and they would just hug for a solid minute or two. If they were in the middle of kicking ass, they would just do brief side-hugs—basically any point of contact that requires them to wrap an arm or two around the other for a brief second. They don't realize they're doing it at exactly 10PM each time. It's like their body clock has it on schedule every time.

Eventually, the concept was introduced to new ward Jason Todd for the first time when Jason saw Batman and Nightwing arguing—practically yelling at each other until they decided to just wrap one another in a randomly tight embrace. They were still angry with one another, but it seemed to have lessened?

Jason experienced Hug-Time for the first time after his first ever patrol—embarrassing to say he fell asleep right then and there.

When Dick finally stopped bullying poor lil Jaybird, Hug-Time suddenly became for the three of them. And then four, then five, six, and then seven. Nobody skipped Hug-Time, but if they couldn't be there physically? Well, they each have a quilt made up of fabric scraps of each of their clothing. Say, if Dick was out on a mission with the Titans somewhere far away, he would have the quilt and everyone who's already bundled up together for Hug-Time has his used shirt.

Hug-Time is like clockwork for all of them now—they could be doing literally anything in their life and suddenly, without an alarm—or even much prompting for that matter—they would all just be magnetized to wherever Bruce is and the Bats and Birds would all just be engulfed in one big ball of Hug-Time because that's wherever mama is, that's home. And Hug-Time must always happen at home.

(This post was inspired by one of @ilovemybruciewayne's ask posts)

[brucedefender4eva]

Autism is a largely complex condition. It is largely genetic, with over half of the genetic material linked to it coming from the father.

Damian is his only blood-related child.

He notices quickly that Damian is just like him. Too much like him. Sometimes, it’s like staring in a mirror and seeing his younger self instead of his reflection.

It’s a different time now, and people are more accepting than they ever were; the chances of Damian being treated the way he was are zero, especially with him around to protect his son. He knows this, yet his hands shake as he tucks them into his pockets, watching as Damian babbles on about a self-interest of his.

He watches, he always watches, to see how his children interact with Damian. Always ready at a moment's notice to jump in and meditate, to explain away the strange habits Damian has formed.

He doesn’t have to.

His children also watch, then adjust, and then they accept him.

So… easily.

When Damian has an emotional outburst from being overstimulated by his siblings, instead of snapping at him or giving him the silent treatment, they allow him to de-stress, then apologize for pushing him over the edge. They don’t rant and rave about how he needs to get off his high horse like with him

When Damian shrinks away from physical touch, they respect his boundaries and don’t push him. They don’t snark about how he thinks he’s too good for their touch like with him

When he’s up in the late hours of the night from insomnia, they stay by his side and comfort him. They don’t tell him to go back to bed and leave him with a hollow feeling like with him

He knows it’s childish, stupid, and wholly immature, but his heart clenches and his stomach twists itself into a nasty knot.

It’s not fair.

Why can his children understand that Damian’s brain is wired differently, but when it comes to him-

Bruce always cuts his thoughts off there. He would never want to breed resentment in his heart for any of his children, especially Damian. He’s glad that Damian is getting all the love and accommodations that he needed but never got.

He’s ecstatic watching the young boy grow and thrive in areas where he still feels unsteady and unsure. He knows Damian will take the world by storm and be a billion times better than he ever was

Bruce knows that he is simply too much of a problem, a burden, to be correctly loved. He keeps hoping and hoping like a stupid child that someone will love him unconditionally

He finds himself drifting away, keeping to himself, and locking himself away in his bedroom or office. He can control all his hurt, pain, longing, and sorrow.

It hurts too much

But once again, all he gets are texts demanding he stop being so selfish and making everything about him. He doesn’t know why they’re mad at him this time; he honestly doubts that they know why they’re mad

It’s his place in their lives

Damian has autism and needs accommodations. Bruce is a bastard who needs to stop acting so fucking weird and just listen to what he’s told.

[polliloppl]

☆ DC ☆

Need me a fanfic where Batman is such a cutely stupid dad and is just fussing over Jason in front of the Justice League (and Jason letting him because he's such a daddy's boy) like

Batman, with a deep and unemotional voice: " That's Jason, my sweet boy. And he's such a polite and darling gentleman. His favourite activity is to read and he's so calm and gentle and smart. So lovely and adorable, my precious little baby ☺💐"

The baby in question is 20 years old, fit and athletic, bigger and taller than Batman himself, looking like as if he could (and would) fight most of the JL and win, with several guns visibly attached to his suit, who is doing his very best to antagonize the JL at any given moment just for fun, BUT ☝ stops as soon as Batman is in the room, hugs and cuddles and is genuinely happy to talk with him, and generally acts like the most behaved and mannered son ever and "of course I'm a good boy Green Lantern. As if would ever misbehave. That would break Batman's heart and I couldn't possibly do that to him, I mean that's my dad I love him!"

And Batman's all like "Aww Jason I love you too son. I'm so proud of you my sweet boy ☺" and he just doesn't. know that Jason is that much of a little shit that he's antagonizing and gaslighting all of Batman's colleagues just because he wants to stay his dad's little baby.

And Batman's all in denial and never believes it whenever someone tries to tell him about what Jason's doing behind his back and he just cannot understand why the JL is always like "Bro, u braindead 💀????"

[papayafromtv]

every now and then i remember how funny the lego batman Dick Grayson adoption story was. like, Dick was just a fanboy in an orphanage who decided it would be cool if Bruce Wayne was his dad, so when he met Bruce he straight up just asked if Bruce would adopt him, and Bruce wasn't listening to a word this kid was saying because he was distracted, so he just assumed Dick wanted an autograph and signed the adoption documents in Dick's hands, and then he just got in his car and drove off. Alfred had to be the one to go back and get him, just sighing as he opened the car door like 'well, i guess it's legal now, you better get in'. like that's gotta be top ten funniest fucking ways for Bruce to adopt a kid. i think that method should be used more, and i personally think it should be used by Tim.

like- fanboy/stalker child Timothy Drake; knows his parents suck and he decides he wants a new dad. and who would be fucking better than the man he knows for a fact to be Batman?! i want Tim to straight-faced no fear just march up to Bruce during some kind of event with guardianship papers he's already forged his parents signature on, deciding to face-to-face randomly ask this man to be his new dad.

Bruce is not paying attention to anything this kid says, by the way. Bruce is trying to leave the event because Jason's with him and he wants the kid to get an early night before school the next morning. there's press and people asking for pictures swarming the street between him and his car. it's too loud, he's got Jason clinging to his hand and trying to keep up from behind, and there's so many people clamouring for his attention that when this little kid somehow manages to slip up to his side, paper and pen in hand, that he vaguely remembers as one of the kids in his neighbourhood, Bruce just quickly scrawls his signature where the kid points and then tries to shove the paparazzi back again.

Jason's the only one who notices, having tuned out all the other visual and audio mess because he trusted Bruce to handle it. when he sees the glee on Tim's face his hand slips from Bruce, and while the man steps away to demand everybody clear a pathway to his car for him and his kid, he leans over and actually reads what Bruce just signed.

he looks at the paper. he looks at Tim. he looks at the paper.

it's genuinely the funniest fuck up he's ever seen the man do. he visibly has to hold back laughter as he claps Tim on the shoulder and solemnly declares, "welcome to the family, weirdo." before Bruce reaches back to grab him by the sleeve and tug him away again.

Tim goes home to pack his bags and then smugly shows up at Wayne Manor the next day, where Jason lets him in and shows him to one of the empty bedrooms. Alfred spots them and stops for a minute, wondering if this is something he should be involved in. then the kettle goes off and he figures it's not his problem. Bruce does not clock that there is another person unpacking and starting to live in his house until Tim sits next to him at the dinner table and no-shame starts referring to him as dad while Jason gives him the most shit-eating grin imaginable.

[occasionalauthoring]

A villain attacks, maybe it's magic maybe it's technology, but for Plot Reasons, Bruce is "trapped" within a pleasant dream. A perfect dream. The kind of perfect that would send any well adjusted non traumatized emotionally starved person straight to the Uncanny Valley.

Bruce is very clearly not that.

And in the waking world, Bruce isn't dying. He's just sleeping. Peacefully, unwaking, why would he ever wake up?

How long would it take for others to realize?how long would it take for Bruce to Wake?

Oo I have a few of those ideas like that.

One of them was focused on Jason, which was the most developed. The dream world was based on what the caster knew about Bruce's life, but because Bruce and Jason are estranged, he was excluded.

And the world keeps having to be rebuilt because he keeps realising Jason is missing, or distant, and no matter how drastic Bruce gets, won't come home (like lying his siblings died) because the caster thinks he won't care.

The JL consent for J'onn to look into his mind. They ask what the world is like, and for the briefest second his eyes flick to Jason. In a family of detectives it doesn't go unnoticed, and everyone's a bit shaken that Jason isn't a part of it even slightly.

Jason tries to pretend he's not torn in two from it.

Zatanna's diagnosis is that he needs to pull himself from the dream, which is nigh impossible.

They're sat in silence, realising they might have actually just lost Bruce.

Meanwhile Bruce is fighting the spell, having it regenerate around him again and again, desperate to find out what is happening to Jason.

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 83

Wheatley (Portal)

Silco (Arcane)

Jason Todd (DC)

Voting ended onJun 8

[occasionalauthoring]

Bruce Wayne's sense of humour can be summed up by the lyrics of The Duck Song. Specifically the last interaction between the duck and the lemonade man. Prove me wrong.

[ilovemybruciewayne]

Hey, this you?

[ilovemybruciewayne]

I've kept smelling my mom all day long (turns out it's my scarf) and I remember I already made Jason go through that shit so, BAM!:

Dick, arms crossed: You had enough. Now let go of him.

Jason, face buried on Bruce's neck, shaking his head:

Bruce, trying to work on a case with his huge ass son koalaing his lap: Don't be mean, chum.

Dick, gasping: Mean? MEAN?! ME?!

Bruce, sighing: ... Son-

Dick: MEAAAAN?!

Jason, sniffing and tearing up: Not even the batsuit smells the same.

Dick: OH MY GOD!!! HOW WOULD IT?! IT'S BEEN DECADES!!

Jason, lower lip trembling:

Bruce, full panic mode: Oh, Jaylad. No, no. We'll find the perfume, don't cry.

Dick: WHAT ABOUT ME AND MY NEEDS?!

Bruce: ??

Dick, tearing up: I want my hugs!! He's been there for HOURS!

Bruce "I don't have enough hands and arms to hug all my babies" Wayne: Chum, chum, come here. Breathe. That's it, son. There you go.

Duke: ...

Duke: I did not sign for this shit.

[ilovemybruciewayne]

Imagine Jason in the middle of a fight. He hasn't officially come back with the family and he's still debating himself between keeping hating on Bruce or wanting a goddamn well deserved hug from the man.

And, you know when there's certain smells that remind you of people? Like, smells that are actually strongly linked to that person?... A certain perfume they always used, or laundry detergent?

Well, he's mid fight and he smells it. Bruce's. But it's not like a faint memory or a soft breeze, more like a punch on the face, a strong waft...

That's his smell. And he has to physically turn around and search for him. Because... THAT'S. HIS. SMELL. Not Batman's, no. Bruce's. The smell he had after a shower, or when cuddling together. His dad's smell. Warmth and love. And there's no way in hell that Bruce fucking Wayne is here right now. Maybe the bat might be here, but Bruce? Prada fall 2012 Brucie? No way, José.

He's so focused on panicking that the goons actually run away before he gets the chance to interrogate them. And he doesn't even have the intention to follow them.

He's turning around like those scenes in the movies when the camera goes from the character's face to show an open view of the surroundings. He's panicking, fingers itching to dial his dad's phone number. Throat aching, burning in the need to say the word, to call, to scream.

By the time he can breathe again, the smell is gone, and he's in the middle of a bloody alleyway with his heart thumping in his ears.

He leaves, angry, cursing at Bruce Wayne and his stupidly fancy and nice lovable remarkable smell.

A long time after, when they have finally solved their issues (fucking please, DC), he's buried in Bruce's shoulder actually sobbing because "HOW DARE YOU CHANGE YOUR PERFUME WITHOUT ASKING?! WHEN I FINALLY CAN SMELL YOU AGAIN?!" And Bruce, with a huge ass grown up man straddle in his lap, patting his back it's "??? I'm sorry, baby?" He has changed so many times his perfumes, he's so confused but happy. His baby boy is willingly hugging him even if he's sniffing him, which is so, so weird.

[ilovemybruciewayne]

Why would you leave this in the tags? Lmao this is so good, tragically funny!!

Bruce sitting on his walking-closet floor, cradling the 6,4 Jason Todd-Wayne like a toddler, sitting on his lap. And Jason, who's at the same time bent over an almost empty bottle of perfume while SOBBING.

Duke standing at the doorframe like ??? He just came back from school and needed Bruce's signature. He's messaging the group chat.

Bruce is already planning a visit to the main headquarters. He will buy the company, if needed. His boy wants the perfume for some weird reason? His boy will have the perfume (they can't make it anymore. For safety and health reasons, the main ingredients are now illegal... luckily for them all, they have pretty good connections with one really well known crime lord from the underworld)

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

reblog if you would never let ai write fanfics for you

[iamlituhrallybatman]

I imagine that we should be glad Bruce became Batman.

Because in my head, every universe Bruce isn't Batman goes one way.

And that is he becomes a doctor and still adopts kids whose parents he's tried saving but couldn't.

And now these kids gonna kill for him.

The Graysons died on impact, but Bruce still ran from the crowd to check their vitals and made sure he got custody of their child. He tried saving Catherine when she overdosed but was too late. He helped organize the Drakes' funeral.

Now, Dick, Jason and Tim are menaces. It's on-sight for anyone who is a threat to their dad. God help you if Alfred catches wind of it.

Funniest part? They never tell each other they're killing for their dad.

Some guy punched Bruce and called him a curse because he didn't hook him up with prescription drugs? Dick dumps his body in a river on Gotham's outskirts. Comes home on time for dinner and reading Jason a book.

Some employee blackmailing Bruce because ehe has experience and money? Well, tortured and overdosed because Jason knows all you need to about drugs. Comes home and asks Bruce if he'll die eating 2 panadols for his headache.

Some pervert thinking they can touch Bruce when no one's looking? Well, they're hung outside Luthor's hospital from a lamppost because Tim read the threatening email Luthor sent Bruce. Comes home and listens to Bruce drone about his patients that day.

One fateful day, Tim hired help online to trudge the body of a bartender who helped spike Bruce's drunk into a hired van. The hired help is Jason. The getaway driver is Dick. They all pause and do the Spiderman meme, pointing at each other.

Once they meet and realise they all in this together, the kill count goes up FAST.

All the while, Brucr is oblivious, sipping his tea Alfred gave him, vowing to keep his sweet, innocent, can-do-nothing-wrong kids away from a life of violence and crime.

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 62 (masterpost here)

Damian: i don't get it.

Jason: no i've never gotten it either.

Tim: i mean, i do get it slightly? like... he can be intimidating sometimes? but then again that's B as a father figure; all dads can be scary towards their kids if they really need to be. from the perspective of a Justice League member? there's no logical reason as to why Superman would ever think Batman was scary.

Damian: are we sure them considering Father as their scariest member isn't simply a sarcastic inside joke within the group?

Dick: naw bub, it's real. i've seen Clark try to hide from him when he thought he'd 'wronged' B in some way. they're genuinely intimidated by him.

Damian, mystified: that's ridiculous, he isn't scary.

Jason: well- actually ok, i might get it. because he isn't scary to us; but maybe that's why he's so scary to the JL.

Dick: *snort* what, we made him scary?

Jason: i- you have to admit, like- like we have done some shit.

Tim: *laughs*

Jason: yeah, like- *laugh* maybe the thing is that we've pissed off Bruce so much over the years, that we've upgraded his ability to deal with things further than any normal human man should. like he has to try and be visibly angry enough for us to listen to him when he tells us to knock it off; when you start getting good at that level of intimidation, the fucking farm boy and ocean buddy with the big fork is like- it's gotta be child's play.

Dick: *cackle* ocean buddy with the big fork,

Jason, audibly holding back laughter: right but you see my point-!

Damian: i mean, does Father even get angry at us anymore? i feel like he's given up at this point. he just gets resigned; doesn't really try.

Tim: well that's the thing, i think we've perfected being disappointments so well as a group that he's lost the ability to get mad. he expects it; i can't imagine what we'd have to do to make him genuinely rageful nowadays.

Dick, thoughtful: yeah... we've definitely raised the bar.

Damian: you used to make him very angry before Jason died, right? so you two were the- you were the original-,

Tim, amused: the pioneers.

Jason, smug: we did perfect our methods. it's an art form.

Damian: yeah but was that an old skill or do you still manage it? because even i struggle to make him seething mad.

Tim: his tolerance has built up massively over the years...

Jason: yeah it's tougher. we still manage it sometimes, though.

Damian: what's the angriest you've ever made him?

Dick: oooh, good question...

Jason: you know what- genuinely? you'd think it would be something from the golden era; i reckon Dickie bird's was recent.

Dick: *casually surprised* oh you think? you think it was the thing from a few weeks ago?

Jason: oh 100%. he literally told you not to go home with him. i was impressed.

Dick: well- *snort* to be fair i'd been gunning for that all day; i wanted to go home but needed an excuse to ditch the manor.

Jason: *cackles*

Tim: wait what'd you do a couple weeks ago?

Dick: do you not remember- that gala where i was supposed to spend the night at the manor afterwards? but i ended up going back to Bludhaven instead?

Tim: wait- *pause* that was because Bruce told you you couldn't?

Damian: *in slight awe* ...Richard. what did you do.

Jason: *starting to laugh again* oh- oh man, i forgot you guys were in a different room- you didn't get to see it-!

Damian: the fuck did you see it? you're dead.

Jason: spray-on hair dye and a barkeeper outfit.

Dick: yeah he was so pissed off- it was on camera, too; like the press were actively filming. i think Bruce sued them for the footage.

Jason: *wheeze*

Tim: what the fuck happened???

Dick: ok well- *sigh* there was this little old lady who was attending the event with her carer-, and i wanna be clear this lady was very sweet, she did not mean to be rude in any way, she was clearly just very confused,

Tim: *now audibly baffled* what the fuck could you possibly be building up to?

Jason: *another wheeze*

Dick: i just need you to understand that this was a very nice old lady who clearly had dementia and didn't mean to be rude.

Damian: what did she do?

Dick: well she was talking about her grandkids, so B started talking about his kids. And you know, he introduced me, and then he pointed out you and Tim in the crowd, and then Cass walked past with Duke so he told her they were his as well, and... i don't think she was all there in the head, you know? didn't remember that Bruce was famous for adoption. so she kinda went, like, 'you have a lot of them, don't you? are you sure they're all yours? they don't look much alike', which,

Jason: -bullshit, all four of us could enter a Bruce Wayne lookalike contest and draw for first.

Dick: -right, but also like, you gotta admit we're pretty fucking diverse for a single group of siblings, right?

Tim: point, actually.

Dick: yeah! anyway- so i could see Bruce kinda getting ready to laugh it off, right? and i- *snort* listen, i'd had a few.

Jason: i'm a good mixer.

Dick: -yeah, he is, and like i said i was already trying to look for an out of staying at the manor because i hadn't been home in a while and i was tired, so before he could say anything, i said- *abrupt wheeze*

Jason: *muffled snort*

Dick: i- *more laughter* *high pitched* i said,

Damian, flat: dear god.

Dick: *giggling* *hands slapping fabric* i wasn't thinking, and i just kinda came out with, 'it's his fetish, he's trying to get one of each race.' and-

Jason and Dick: *instantly lose it*

Jason: *loud laughter* THIS IS STILL- THIS IS STILL MY FAVOURITE THING-,

Dick: *incoherent crying*

Tim, incredulous: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!

Damian, with pure awe: that's... insane. making that joke on camera? in public?

Dick, weeping: n' he- he got so mad,

Jason, loudly: HE WENT BRIGHT RED, I THOUGHT- i thought he was going to hit him.

Dick: to this day i don't know how i managed to keep a straight face.

Tim: *stage whisper* what did he do??

Dick: he pulled me aside afterwards and- *wheeze* and he was like 'look i need some space from you right now, i think you should- *snort* i think you should get a different car and go home, and i'll just call you next week or something',

Jason: this is everything i aspire to achieve and more,

Dick: -and i was just like- i was like, 'yeah that's fair'- *breaks down into giggles again*

Tim: THAT'S FAIR- *wheeze* *cackling* fucking- 'i wouldn't wanna look at me either',

Dick: 'i get it, i hate me too',

Jason: i don't know- i don't know how he doesn't expect those sorts of jokes by now?

Dick: i don't fucking know how we keep coming up with them, it's like an endless well.

*ping*

Jason: an endless well of making Bruce seem like a pervert just to piss him off- ah fuck.

*tense silence*

*more silence*

Bruce, sternly: i'm tracking all of you. i know you're doing another four person stakeout-,

Dick, instantly: fuck- split, SPLIT-

Damian: what about the target?!

Jason: WHO GIVES A SHIT- JUST GO.

Bruce: for the last time, you cannot run from a PHONE CALL.

[the-last-starlit-cat]

Bruce knows that John Grayson is Dick's father, not him. He knows that, Dick knows that. He's okay with it. He doesn't want to replace Dick's father; he could never do that.

But sometimes, he truly wishes he were. Who wouldn't want to be the father of such a wonderful child?

In any case, in his mind, Dick is his son; even if he isn't his father.

That's why he never asks to be called anything other than "B" or "Bruce," because he's not Dick's father, even if Dick is his son.

That's why, when Dick woke up from horrible nightmares screaming "Dad!", Bruce would run to his room, hug him, and comfort him.

Dick might sob, repeatedly telling his dad not to leave him alone.

Bruce wouldn't correct him, he wouldn't push him away... And selfishly, he would always reply, "Here I am, I'm not going to leave you".

Because he wouldn't do it, even if Bruce is not really his father... He's still Bruce's son.

When Dick was hurt and scared from a fight gone wrong, and half-sedated he would call for his dad, Bruce would take his little hand and whisper to calm him down.

Dick could offer apologies to his dad, but Bruce would never accept any.

Bruce doesn't tell him he doesn't accept his apology because he's not really his father. But Dick is his son.

Every time Dick says "dad" absentmindedly, Bruce swallows and answers, without correcting him. He understands that Dick is probably unaware of what his mind is doing to him, that he keeps calling for someone who is no longer there.

And Bruce, being the selfish man that he is, convinces himself that this is why he doesn't correct him, and not because he fervently wishes to be his dad.

It is not until Dick becomes an adult that Bruce is proud of, such a wonderful person, a man worthy of admiration... that he realizes it.

It is when Dick is telling someone a story about his parents that Bruce notices the pattern.

Dick never, ever calls John Grayson "dad".

He uses variations of the word, mostly in what he knows is Romani, sometimes in French... But never English.

John Grayson is never called "dad", not even once.

Only then does Bruce Wayne realize.

Bruce may not be Dick's father...

But he's Dick's dad.

And he knows for sure, that Dick is definitely his son.