welcome to this chaotic mess of a blog! iâm very shy irl, so i'm not always the best at communication, but this is a judgement free zone and you're more than welcome to shoot me an ask about any or everything your heart desires ⥠banners by @cafekitsune
Summary: India Mae, or Indi, is a music major, struggling to pay bills, tuition, work, and make good grades. Emily Prentiss is a BAU profiler, as well as a DC socialite thanks to her huge family fortune. The two enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement: Emily will pay for Indi's school if Indi accompanies Emily to her social functions for a few months, posing as her girlfriend. As weeks go by, the lines between their arrangement and their true feelings start to blur. But money can't buy love, right?
Pairing: India Mae Banks x Emily Prentiss; OC x Emily Prentiss
Warnings: smut; sugar baby relationships; age gap (16 years - but all over 18)
A/n:Â thank you everyone for your patience with updates! Â If you're still following along, thank you. Â Your readership means everything to me.
- - -
"Pen!" I protested, pushing my hair out of my face once again. Â "This fan is blowing my hair around, and I can assure you it is NOT sexy."
"Oh, I assure you it will be, my pet," she purred as she continued snapping photos. Â "Just do something sexier with your face."
I huffed in annoyance. Â "Very helpful!" I said sarcastically. Â "I never should have let you talk me into this," I complained, gesturing around at the makeshift photography studio Penelope had set up to take some boudoir photos for Emily's birthday present. Â "I'm just not good at being sexy."
"I'll bet there's a certain brunette who would beg to differâŠ"  She raised a knowing eyebrow.  "In fact," she started, "You should hear how they tease her at work."
"What do you mean?" I asked in concern.
Penelope walked over to position my arms in what I assumed was a much less awkward pose.  "Emily is soâŠ" she trailed off.  "So cold, hard."  My brows furrowed in disagreement.  Before I could protest, Penelope amended, "She's a total badass, don't get me wrong.  Like a super spy babeâŠBut when you callâŠ"  She trailed off again finding the right words.
With bated breath, "when I callâŠ" I prompted.
"She's a total cheeseball!"  She laughed.  "She's so head over heels for you, Indi.  I guess the team has just never seen her like that before."  She paused, letting me soak it all in, but then added, "For example, the other day, she had just taken down this unsub.  I'm talkin' heeled boot to the stomach, gun pointed at his head.  And she was so focused."  I could picture it now.  My stomach tightened pleasantly thinking about how wonderful it was to be the object of Emily's focus.  "And then when she got back to Quantico to call you, it's like she visibly softens."
I tried to reconcile what Penelope was telling me with my own perceptions of Emily. Â A wide smile spread over my face, pleased that I caused such a change in her. Â "And," Penelope continued conspiratorially, "Derek has a theory that Emily and JJ were more than friends, especially seeing how cold JJ is towards you." Â I gulped, unsure if this was a secret Emily purposefully kept from the team even after they had broken up. Â "And apparently, she NEVER looked at JJ like she looks at you."
Butterflies flooded my tummy. Â Even though Emily had told me she loved me, it still never ceased to amaze me that others saw the proof in her eyes as I did. Â "All the more reason for these photos to turn out well. Â I can't buy anything for the woman who has more money than god â if she wants something, she just buys it for herself. Â This is my only option for her birthday present, Pen. Â And I'm just hopeless at this stuff."
"You landed Emily," she pointed out.
"You know what I mean," I grumbled, pulling at the tight lingerie, uncomfortable and out of my element.
A knowing glint illuminated Penelope's eyes. Â "Let's try something new," she suggested. Â "What song makes you feel sexy?"
"I don't knowâŠ" I bit my lip, embarrassed.
"Fine." Â Penelope grabbed her phone and changed the playlist. Â Deep bass and a slow beat reverberated around the room contrasted with the singer's keening, crooning voice. Â I had no idea what this song was, but the vibe immediately shifted into something more intimate. Â I continued worrying my lip, steeling myself to be sexy for Emily.
She seemed to have enjoyed the photos I had taken in front of her standing mirror. Â But I hadn't let myself think about it or talk myself out of hitting send. Â I begged myself to get out of my own head, trying to reason with my own insecurities.
"Maybe start without my face in them?" I suggested, trying to find a way to ease myself into this.
"Wonderful idea, Indi!  What part of you does Emily like best?"  I had no idea.  I knew which parts of her I liked best.  The smooth lines of her back, the tattoo on her hip, the slope of her jaw as she threw her head back in pleasureâŠÂ
"Earth to India!" Penelope got my attention.
"Sorry!" I apologized, my face heating in embarrassment.  I pulled one leg up to my chest, trying to fold in on myself.  "I was justâŠ"
"Fantasizing? Â Don't think I haven't seen that look in Emily's eyes either." Â Butterflies swarmed my stomach again, overwhelming joy causing a shy smile to stretch across my face. Â The click of the camera caught my attention. Â "Just be yourself," Penelope instructed softly, trying not to break the moment. Â "You're beautiful when you think of her."
"She's beautiful," I whispered. Â I could never compare, I thought ruefully.
"Let's try from behind," Penelope suggested. Â "Look over your shoulder. Â That way you don't have to think too much about what we're doing. Â Just keep thinking about Emily."
And once we got started, it really was much easier. Â Thinking about Emily got me out of my head. Â While I didn't think these had a hope of coming out good enough for Emily, Penelope â of course â worked her magic and made me look amazing. Â She thought of the best poses to look teasing and sexy. Â I hoped Emily liked them well enough.
_ _ _
I woke up with a start, realizing what day it was. Â I rolled over and gently pressed kisses against Emily's skin to wake her up. Â When she finally roused, she smiled and pulled me in for a proper kiss. Â "Happy birthday," I whispered against Emily's lips.
"Thank you." Â She flopped back into bed, snuggling back into our warm cocoon. Â "I'm not much for celebrating my birthday," she admitted after a beat.
Hesitantly, I asked, "Because of your mom?"
She blew out a puff of air, a sound I had come to realize meant she was uneasy about something. Â "I don't know," she admitted softly. Â "Maybe."
"Well, I'd like to celebrate you." Â I snuggled into her side, tracing soft patterns against the tattoo on her hip. Â "Because you're so special to me, Em. Â I'm so grateful to have you. Â And you are worth celebrating."
"I love you, sweet girl," she responded simply.
"I got you something," I started hesitantly.
"Mmm," she hummed, pulling me closer. Â She turned so we were face to face. Â "I already have everything I need." Â She kissed my nose softly, her thumb brushing tenderly over my cheek bone.
I huffed in mock annoyance.  "I know you have everything already!  Do you know how impossible it was to buy you a gift?!"Â
She chuckled against my skin, pressing more light kisses to my face. Â "I don't need a gift when I have you."
"But you have me every day. Â I wanted to get you something special." Â I got nervous again, thinking that I wasn't special enough to be Emily's gift. Â How could I have been so stupid as to think she would want photos of me for her birthday?
She rolled me onto my back and started pressing kisses into my neck. Â "How about you let me decide what I want as a present?" Â Thoughts flooded out of my head with each swipe of her tongue on my skin.
"Okay," I breathed. Â She nipped softly with her teeth at my ear lobe. Â "Emily," I sighed.
"So where's my present?" she asked.
"What?"
She chuckled again, her soft exhale tickling the sensitive skin at my neck. Â "Can I have my present now?" Â I nodded, still dazed from her morning kisses. Â "And then we'll go to breakfast?"
"Okay, babe!" I agreed, cupping her cheek, stunned at her beauty. Â "I'm paying though!" Â She opened her mouth to argue, but I quickly slid my hand over it before she could protest. Â "No way are you paying for breakfast, my birthday girl."
She grabbed my wrist to hold it steady as she placed a soft kiss to the palm of my hand. Â "Only if I can have you for dessert later."
My stomach flipped pleasantly, the skin at my neck still electrified from where she had been teasing me earlier. Â "Okay," I said a bit breathlessly.
"Come on," she said rolling out of bed, "I want to go to that little Benedict place downtown. Â And then don't forget! Â The FBI picnic is this evening."
"It's a crime you have to go to a work event on your birthday," I griped. Â "I mean, what's the point of having a birthday on a Saturday if you still have to go to work?"
She smiled at my scowl, but pressed a kiss to my forehead. Â "Just how it shook out this year, angel. Â But, I think there will be cake!"Â
"There better be cake!" I grumbled.
Once Emily and I had gotten dressed for the day, we made our way downstairs. Â When she saw her wrapped present sitting on the kitchen island she made a beeline for it. Â I smirked, noting that even though Emily said she didn't think it was necessary to celebrate her, it seemed to be a distancing tactic she previously used to keep herself from feeling disappointment when her mom let her down.
"When did you have time to do all this?" she asked, gesturing to the present and the balloons and flowers.
Sheepishly, I responded, "When you were in the shower last night."
She wrapped me in a big hug, burying her face against my neck. Â "You're so special, babe." Â I wrapped my own arms around her tightly, drawing her closer. Â "I wish you could feel how much I mean that."
"I do," she whispered. Â "Thank you, angel."
Nervous, and ready to get any negative reactions about her present out of the way, I pulled out of her embrace and grabbed her present. Â "Happy birthday, babe. Â I love you, and I wanted to get you something special-"
"I'm going to love it," she interrupted, sensing my nerves. Â I handed her the package and watched her carefully take the wrapping paper off.Â
As the first photo was revealed to her, she stopped breathing. Â "Oh," she gasped in surprise. Â Reverently, she traced the lines of my silhouette from the first photo. Â I saw how her eyes drank me in, eyelids drooping with lust. Â "Baby, I-" Â I gulped nervously. Â "Well I just don't know what to say," she said huskily.Â
I shuffled my feet, worrying my lip. Â I also did not know what to say. Â Carefully, as if the picture frames would crumble, she took the first out and set it on the counter. Â "Fuck," she whispered revealing the second photo. Â "You're fucking gorgeous."
My stomach warmed pleasantly, pleased she seemed to like her present. Â Her hand shook slightly as she placed the second on the counter just as gently as she had the first. Â When the third photo was revealed, her eyes widened. Â It was the most revealing, the most teasing. Â She put the box on the counter and grabbed me roughly. Â "When do I get the live show?" she husked, her tongue wrapping deliciously around the shell of my ear.Â
"You want to see me in that corset?" Â My heart pounded in my chest as Emily's hands kneaded my ass.
"Fuck yes," she groaned, pulling me closer. Â I wrapped my arms around her neck and kissed her deeply. Â No matter how roughly she tugged me to her, no matter how her body sloped around mine as she leaned me back on the counter, nothing was close enough.
"Emily," I whined. Â She pulled me up to sit me on the counter. Â I groaned as she pulled back to pull my shirt off. Â My skin, buzzing with the electricity of my desire, ached where she wasn't touching me. Â "Emily, please," I begged. Â I needed her hands and lips back on me. Â I needed her. Â I felt the frenzy in me grow, the desire sparking to life between us.
She pressed a flat palm in the middle of my chest, pushing me back to lay flat. Â Her capable hands made quick work of my jeans, peeling them down my legs in no time at all. Â She put my feel up on the counter, spreading me out in front of her. Â "Don't tease," I begged, unable to bear the thought of her relentlessly slow pace.
She grabbed my thighs and pushed them apart to make room for herself. Â She chuckled darkly before she dove in, licking up my slit. Â "Fuck," I groaned. Â I grabbed her head, weaving my fingers in her hair. Â I rolled my hips against Emily's mouth, feeling her tongue caress my clit in that way that made my eyes roll back in my head. Â "Please," I whispered. Â "Fuck me, Em, please."
She didn't change anything, and I passively wondered if she heard me. Â My legs were wrapped pretty tightly over her ears. Â As if she could read my mind, her hands smoothed down my thighs and yanked them apart. Â She then slowly slipped one finger inside me, her tongue never breaking its rhythm against my clit.
I sighed, content in the feeling. Â Nothing compared to Emily loving me, even with the cold marble of the countertop against my skin. Â My hips began bucking against my will, my head thrashing back and forth. Â Emily forced me to the precipice faster than lighting. Â My hands slammed to my side, clipping the side of one of the picture frames. Â The clatter startled Emily, and she pulled back, her lips releasing my clit with a soft pop.
"Careful, Indi. Â I would be quite sad if you broke my present." Â Though her fingers still pushed into me, her mouth was no longer on my clit, and I did not finish.
"I know where to get you another one," I grumbled impatiently. Â I tried to grab her head and force her back between my legs, but she resisted.
"I'm partial to the original," she teased, her tongue swiping against my clit once.  "It hasâŠsentimental value," she continued.  Her tongue teased at my clit softly.  It was enough to keep me squirming but not what I needed.  I needed what she had been doing before.  I needed it like air.  "Best birthday present I've ever gotten, in fact."
"Emily!" I complained. Â She chuckled, pleased with herself. Â She added a second finger, but continued teasing with her tongue.
"You know," she said against my labia. Â "You're mighty impatient today." Â I whimpered as she licked against my clit a bit harder. Â "Shouldn't I get to enjoy you how I see fit on my birthday?" Â I looked down my body, her eyes sparkling with mischief between my legs.
I quirked a brow, unable to keep myself from teasing back. Â "I thought you weren't one to celebrate your birthday."
"I'm starting to see the merit," she amended, her mouth wrapping back around my clit how I liked.
"Oh god," I groaned, my head falling back against the counter. Â She sucked slightly and her fingers hit the perfect spot inside me. Â "Emily!" I screamed, my hand flying to her head to keep her there. Â "Please, please, please," I pleaded, my hips thrusting against her mouth in time with my begging. Â She didn't relent, pleasure crashing over every inch of me. Â I slumped against the counter, her tongue and fingers slowing to help me ride it out. Â "Fuck," I exhaled, stroking the back of Emily's head. Â She looked up at me, love overflowing in her eyes.
"Come," she commanded, pulling back. Â I sat up, confusion furrowed my brow. Â She tugged on my arms until I slid off the counter. Â I leaned up to kiss her, but instead, Emily pushed on my shoulder until I was kneeling in front of her. Â She looked down at me with eyes dark with lust as her fingers undid her jeans. Â Her intense gaze never wavered. Â I licked my lips in anticipation.
I helped her pull her jeans and underwear down her soft legs. Â She slipped a leg over my shoulder and gripped the counter for balance. Â Immediately, I pressed my lips to her clit. Â Gathering up wetness with my tongue, I licked up and down her pussy. Â "That's it, Indi," she cooed. Â My pride swelled as I pleased Emily.
Gently she brushed my curls away from my face, gazing down at me warmly. Â "I love you, angel." Â I blinked slowly, not daring to slow my pace. Â She bit her lip, her brow furrowed in concentration as she chased her own orgasm. Â "My sweet girl," she cooed, "You're doing so good for me. Â Don't stop," she ordered. Â Her hips started bucking against my mouth in earnest, her head thrown back in pleasure.
I moaned at the sight, unable to contain myself. Â She gripped my hair so tightly, I felt the sting of the pull. Â "Yessss," she hissed, falling more heavily against the countertop, unable to hold up her weight fully. Â Her chest heaved as she came down from her high.
After a few seconds, she helped me stand up. Â My knees popped in the quiet kitchen as I stood up, a bit sore from kneeling on the hardwood. Â She immediately wrapped me in her arms, both of us naked from the waist down. Â "I love you, Emily," I whispered into her neck. Â "Happy birthday, my love." Â She squeezed me tighter, both of us content in the warmth of our love.
Help a neurodivergent fella to buy a half decent headphone
A couple days ago i had a fall and while i was physically fine ( only a busted knee and swollen ankle) my headphone took a more fatal blow, one of the side is broken and no matter how much ways i find to try to mend it i had no sucess.
Since I'm sensitive to loud noises, my headphones were my source of comfort and that i have virtually no spare money to buy a new one, I'm now asking for help here while i try to come up with some extra money.
absolutely love reading such a well-written story and falling a bit in love with the author based solely on the way they write. like baby the way you italicize words makes my heartbeat quicken.
Summary: India Mae, or Indi, is a music major, struggling to pay bills, tuition, work, and make good grades. Emily Prentiss is a BAU profiler, as well as a DC socialite thanks to her huge family fortune. The two enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement: Emily will pay for Indi's school if Indi accompanies Emily to her social functions for a few months, posing as her girlfriend. As weeks go by, the lines between their arrangement and their true feelings start to blur. But money can't buy love, right?
Pairing: India Mae Banks x Emily Prentiss; OC x Emily Prentiss
Warnings: smut; sugar baby relationships; age gap (16 years - but all over 18)
Emily's POV:
We raced home, her in the Audi, me hot on her trail in my own car. Â I hated to separate, but I understood the necessity of having both cars at home. Â I had started to lead the way home, but Indi lagged behind me, uncomfortable driving so fast. Â My hands tightened and wound around the wheel, desperate to be home and have her back in my arms. Â "Come on, Indi," I whispered to myself, willing her to drive faster. Â Hadn't I waited long enough for her to be back home?
When we finally arrived home, I smiled at her pulling her new car into her spot of the garage. Â I parked as quickly as possible, flying around the back of my car to pull her door open for her. Â I kissed her deeply, pulling her bag from her hand. Â "Welcome home," I whispered against her lips.
She smiled up at me, cupping my cheek. Â "I'm sorry I left in the first place." Â Her words sobered me, and she could see my eyes tighten at the memory of her fleeing. Â "Should we talk about this more?"
"I think that's a good idea." Â I placed a quick kiss to her forehead and then picked up her bag to carry it inside for her. Â I grabbed her hand, "Come on you."
"Should we make cocoa?" she asked softly.
"It's AugustâŠ"
She shrank, shoulders hunching slightly, eyes reticent. Â Softly, "My mom always made cocoa for big talks."
I warmed at the thought of her sharing a family tradition with me; Indi was always so tentative sharing things about her family. Â "Of course we can, sweetheart."
Silently, we made cocoa together, unsure what to say. Â I didn't know if we could start talking about what happened before the cocoa was done. Â Previously, our silences had never been awkward â time with Indi was always peaceful. Â But now, with this big thing looming over our heads, I wasn't sure where we stood. Â I had been certain that her kissing me and telling me she loved me back had meant that she was sorry for running again, but the air around us was tense. Â Never before had I felt so uneasy in her presence. Â I felt us approaching a precipice, but what came next, I wasn't sure.
We moved into the living room, settling into opposite ends of the couch.
"I'm sorry," she started.Â
I promised myself I wasn't going to brush off how her leaving affected me.  I fought back the urge to sweep it under the rug and bottle up my feelings.  Our future was too important to me to hide how this impacted me.  I tried to quiet the part of me screaming to throw walls back up and shut her out.  I swallowed the knee-jerk response it's okay.  Because it wasn't. India's go-to was to just run when things got tough.  "Why'd you run?"Â
She cringed slightly, and took a sip of her cocoa as she thought about her response. Â "I don't know," she said softly. Â "I'm struggling to believe I'm worth this." Â I opened my mouth to tell her she was worth everything in the universe, but she interrupted me. Â "And don't say it's just money."
"It is though, Indi.  Let me just put this in perspective for you.  What you give me, I can't buy.  You are priceless, India Mae.  Money means nothing to me because I'll always be financially secure.  I have a multi-million dollar trust fund, millions in liquid assets, and an additional few million in stocks and real estate."  Her eyes widened impossibly large.Â
Before she had time to respond, I continued. Â "Money can't buy what I want, Indi. Â I thought I could try when Rossi signed me up for SugarBook, but you are priceless to me, baby." Â I swallowed thickly, again fighting the urge to board up my windows and shut down. Â My heart beat wildly in my chest at the vulnerability I was about to show. Â Near whispering I said, "Money doesn't mean anything when all you want is love. Â And you love me so wholly."Â
I grabbed her mug, setting it on the coffee table. Â Taking her hands in mine, I blinked tears back, embarrassed at how quickly our conversation turned. Â "No one has ever accepted me just as I am. Â Growing up, I never felt like I was enough for my family. Â I never was anywhere long enough to make a meaningful connection. Â And as I got older, I stopped trying to make friends. Â Because it hurt so bad to pick up and move again and never see them again.
"And then when I was in the CIA, I wasn't allowed to be me.  And now," I swallowed again, trying to compose myself.  "You love me, Indi.  I never hid who I was with you.  And you won't ever know how valuable that is to me."
Her thumb softly wiped at my tears, endless tenderness and sympathy in her eyes. Â And finally, understanding. Â "Money doesn't mean anything to me, not when I have the most precious thing I could ask for," I said, squeezing her hand. Â "But baby you deserve anything your heart desires. Â It's nothing for me to buy you what you deserve. Â I have the means to buy you whatever you want."
"I love you so much."  My heart swelled again at her admission.  I wasn't sure the excitement of her saying it would ever lessen.  "I just couldn't fathom why you love me," she admitted.  "I thought I had nothing to give you."  I shook my head, but let her continue.  "I'm not worldly like you.  I'm not educated like you.  I come from nothing.  But to hear you say that you love me because I'm enough?  I'm just-"  She shook her head in disbelief.  "Well, I just don't know what to say.  It sounds too good to be true."
She took a steadying breath and looked me deep in the eyes. Â Unwaveringly, she said, "And to know that all you want is that love and support? Â Well it's all I want too. Â You, as you are, are it for me, Em. Â I never thought I could love someone so much."
"What was it that pushed you over? Â I thought we had worked this out. Â When we were in Florida? Â Or even way back in March or April. Â Remember? Â We were out to lunch at that cafe you love? Â I told you how much you deserve to be spoiled and you seemed to accept it then. Â What happened?"
"I don't know, Emily," she said resigned. Â "Wait!" she interrupted her own train of thought. Â "I remember that day in the cafe. Â Why do you?"
I paused, unsure if I should share how deeply I loved her from the start. Â "That's when I knew you were it for me. Â That's when I knew I wouldn't want anyone else."
A slow smile spread over her face. Â "I remember it for the same reason, babe."
My heart warmed that she had known so early, as well. Â "I thought we settled it then: you deserve to be spoiled. Â I just want you to have everything you want."Â
"All I want is you," she admitted softly.
"Then stop running from this, from us," I begged. Â "You break my heart every time you leave," I confessed.Â
Guilt flashed in her eyes. Â "Yesterday, I thought if I were the one to leave, it would be easier." Â I knew that feeling well. Â Every time I had broken things off with a girlfriend, I had thought similarly. Â Before Indi, I had never struggled to move on. Â Before yesterday, the thought of moving on had never been unbearable. Â "I thought if I were the one to leave, it would hurt less than when you finally realized you can do better than me."
"I've been there, Indi.  You don't fake a relationship with an arms dealer without gaining a few scars.  But you have to trust me, baby.  I love you."  I grabbed her face, brushing her wispy hairs back.  "There is no one better than you.  Please trust me.  Trust us."
"I've learned my lesson, Em.  When I was lying all alone in my bed, wishing I was in your arms."  Her brows creased at the memory.  "It hurt just as bad to be the one leaving, because it didn't matter that I left.  All that mattered was that I wasn't with you."
My heart swelled, because, miraculously, she really did feel the same way.  All this time I thought I needed to buy her time to get her to stay.  Starting this relationship as a financial obligation hadn't helped my thinking that she was only here for what I could give her materially.  But hearing her say that all she wanted was my love, me, had me reeling.  All these months I wondered in the back of my mind what I could offer her besides money, and I always came up short.  But to hear that we were enough as we were brought tears to my eyes.
"I guess I couldn't help but feel the same as you did." Â I heard her gasp softly in shock. Â "What could a young woman who has everything ahead of her want with me? Â I mean" - I pulled my hands back to pick at my nails - "I'm a workaholic in a job that poses great risk. Â I'm old, parts of me sag more than they used to, I'm graying, I-"
"Stop," she commanded. Â "You're gorgeous," she whispered reverently. Â She pulled my hands apart, soothing the sting from where I had picked at my cuticle. Â "I've never been attracted to anyone the way I am you. Â Please do not speak about yourself as if you aren't worthy of my love just because you're older than me."
And that's when it clicked. Â What this all boiled down to was that neither of us felt we deserved the other's love. Â That's what had to change here.
"It's hard for me to believe you could want me like that."
She smirked. Â "Don't I make how much I want you abundantly clear?"Â
I chuckled, always in awe of her libido. Â "Yes, I guess we're not lacking in that department, are we?"
"I'd say not," she agreed. Â "Though, I would be happy to show you how much I want you more frequently." Â She pushed me back against the couch, pretending like she was about to pounce. Â Instead she kissed me chastely and pushed my arm out, making room for herself in the crook of my arm. Â I scooted down the couch and pulled her into my side, settling her head on my chest. Â I kissed her forehead, grateful for her to be back here. Â "Just moving forward, we need to believe in each other."
"I will. Â IÂ do," she amended, squeezing my hip.
I let her words linger around us, finally feeling at peace again. Â "Me too." Â I ran my fingers over her shoulder soothing myself at the repetitive movement. Â "Where do you see us in a year?" I mused.
"Exactly as we are. Â Exactly like this," she responded, twining her legs with mine. Â "Are we okay, then?" she asked timidly. Â "Do you see me in your future?"
"Angel, you are my future. I love you."  I tipped her head up and kissed her softly, the angle slightly awkward.
"I love you too," she whispered, settling back into my arms.
"And where do you see yourself in a year?  What do you want to do after graduation?"
"I don't know."  She sighed as I started trailing my fingers down her back.  "I've never had the luxury of being able to plan ahead.  Maybe I'll try to find a teaching positionâŠ"
"I asked what do you want to do?"Â
She hummed, lost in thought.  "I don't knowâŠwith you now, there are so many more options."  She paused and then said, "Er, I'm not trying to take advantage of you.  I just mean because of you, I've been able to save a lot more than I thought possible, and I feel like I don't have to take any teaching job that comes my way."
I chuckled softly.  Maybe we had made some progress today, but my Indi would still be hesitant about money.  "Dream world â you can do anything.  Every job is open to you.  What do you want to do?"
Without hesitation, she said, "I want to play for the DC symphony." Â I smiled, wheels already turning about who to contact to get her an audition.
"I think that's a perfect job for you."
"I think so, too," she said, a smile in her voice.
"Speaking of jobs," I said through a yawn, "Penelope starts her first day as the BAU's technical analyst at the end of this case."Â
"She got it?!" she asked excitedly.
"Mmhm," I hummed.
She exclaimed, "That bitch! Â She didn't tell me!"
"That she may be off the hook for. Â I'm not sure she knows yet; I think Hotch is going to tell her when they get back from this case."
This time it was her turn to yawn. Â "Okaaaaay," she sighed. Â Her yawn was contagious, and my eyes watered from my second yawn â my sleepless night catching up with me.Â
"I didn't sleep much last night," she admitted softly. Â "Can we just rest this evening?"
I kissed her on the forehead. Â Nothing sounded better. Â "Of course, angel. Â We can do whatever you'd like."
Indi snuggled deeper into my arms, her eyes drifting closed. Â "I love you," she murmured, and I drifted off with a soft smile and full heart.
Summary: India Mae, or Indi, is a music major, struggling to pay bills, tuition, work, and make good grades. Emily Prentiss is a BAU profiler, as well as a DC socialite thanks to her huge family fortune. The two enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement: Emily will pay for Indi's school if Indi accompanies Emily to her social functions for a few months, posing as her girlfriend. As weeks go by, the lines between their arrangement and their true feelings start to blur. But money can't buy love, right?
Pairing: India Mae Banks x Emily Prentiss; OC x Emily Prentiss
Warnings: smut; sugar baby relationships; age gap (16 years - but all over 18)
Indi's POV:
I stared at the ceiling, my eyes uncomfortable from the ceiling fan drying them out. It was an insignificant ache compared to the one in my heart. Alone I laid. Aching for Emily's arms. With each whirl of the fan I was reminded of each minute passing without fixing what I had messed up.
My night in the city was horrible. It was unbearable to go to bed knowing I had ruined everything with Emily. And as I laid in my tiny bed in my tiny DC apartment, I couldn't help but be annoyed by the sound. Cars were constantly honking, people shouting at all hours of the night. How had I ever preferred this cacophony of meaningless noise? I missed the peaceful babble of the creek and Emily's soft breathing next to me.
As I continued to watch the fan swirl dust particles above my head, I couldn't help the tears that leaked from the corners of my eyes. How could I have left all of that behind? What did I stand to gain by running back to my old life in DC? But Emily was gone. She didn't stop me; she wanted me gone. I had overstayed my welcome in her life.
This was only supposed to be temporary I reminded myself.
Penelope let me be for the night, asking minimal questions about why I had returned home in shambles and tucking me into bed. The only measure of time was the rotations of the ceiling fan and, hours later, the sun peaking over the horizon. Still, I could not sleep. Penelope snuck around the apartment as she got ready for work, trying not to disturb me. Still, I remained tucked away in my bed staring at nothing.
When Penelope returned home from work, she burst through my door without knocking. "What's wrong?" she demanded. I didn't bother to look away from the ceiling, the evening light catching the crystal on the end of the fan pull, refracting the light. "Seriously. Talk to me. Derek said Emily called in today. Spill it."
A breath caught in the back of my throat. Why should Emily take off work? I didn't dare let myself believe it was because she was just as upset as me. But it hurt to think that she was hurting.
Penelope moved into the room and sat at the edge of my bed. "Indi you cannot stay holed up in your room sulking forever. What happened?"
I sat up, tucking my legs up to my chest and curling my arms around them. I opened my mouth to respond but I had no idea how to explain what happened. I laid my head on my knees and sighed.
"Did she touch you without permission?"Â
I whipped my head up in horror. "Of course not!"
"Then what? Take your money away?"
I shook my head. "It's nothing like that, Pen."
"Talk to me, Indi. I hate seeing you like this."
"She told me she loved me," I started.
"And that's bad becauseâŠ?"Â
I sighed. "It isn't like how the tabloids have been showing it. This was all just supposed to be a way to get through school. I wasn't supposed toâŠ" I trailed off unsure how much to share.
"You fell for her."
"Bad. I just don't belong in her world," I lamented. "I'm not good for her. And now she's never going to know how I feel because I left all because of a stupid car."
Penelope crinkled her eyebrows in confusion. "You lost meâŠ"
"My car died. And Emily took care of everything. Like, she had it towed and had a mechanic look at it. And it was so so sweet of her. I was just so stressed about paying that bill so I was already on edge," I said without taking a breath. "And then when I got home from school yesterday, Emily had already bought me a brand new fucking Audi. Can you believe that? She's just throwing tens of thousands of dollars away, spending that kind of money on me without a second thought."
I paused, trying to figure out why this had been such an issue for me at all. "I just got overwhelmed. I'm not worth it, ya know? And I just got trapped in my head. Because how could Emily, perfect Emily, want anything to do with me? I'm-"
"But that isn't for you to decide, is it?" Penelope interrupted. "Shouldn't Emily get to decide what's worth it? To have in her life? To spend money on?"
"Yes," I whispered. "Yes, she should. I just can't fathom why she'd choose me. And I flipped out yesterday."
"Nothing's unfixable, Indi."
Tears leaked out of my eyes, overwhelmed with sadness again. "She didn't come after me, Pen." I pawed angrily at my tears, angry that they revealed how vulnerable I was truly feeling. "She just let me leave because she doesn't want this anymore." It all felt hopeless. Even though Penelope had said anything could be fixed, I just couldn't believe that this could. I'd messed up too badly.
"Did she tell you that?" she asked knowingly.
"She didn't have to." Penelope raised one eyebrow at me.Â
Before I could respond, Penelope exclaimed, "Wait! If your car died, how did you get here?"
I turned my head to stare at the car key sitting on my bedside table. I laughed dryly at the irony. Four, silver rings of the Audi logo shined back at me mockingly. I reached over and flashed the new key to Penelope.
"You owe Emily one hell of an apology," Penelope joked.
______________________________
Emily's POV:
When the garage door closed after Indi, I flopped on the couch in defeat. She wouldn't even look at me as she scurried out of the house, bag in tow. And why should she? I had overstepped. I had scared her by telling her how I felt. We never agreed this was for love. How stupid I was to let my guard down and fall for her. After all, we had agreed what this was from the start. How could I expect her to feel the same for someone sixteen years older than her?
But how could I expect to be the same without her?
I looked around my empty house. She was everywhere; there wasn't a single inch of this place that wasn't marked by her. I thought about how on this very couch, we shared our first kiss, her thighs straddling mine. I let my eyes wander over to the kitchen island where countless times I had picked her up and sat her on the counter because I just couldn't stand to go a second longer without her lips on mine. I stared at the piano imagining all the times she sat there and how beautiful she was when she immersed herself in the music. Now, the only sound was the deafening tick of the clock passing each second she spent speeding away from me back towards her real home.
I couldn't stand to stare at the piano any longer. Just days ago she had sat on that very bench and played a song written for me.  I shook my head at how foolish I had been to read more into it than was there. I remembered how mesmerized I had been by her fingers trailing over the keys, and how it led me to trail my own down her body as a thank you.Â
I stormed out of the room, sick at the memory. Sick at the realization she'd never be mine to touch like that again.Â
But she followed me like a ghost in my own home. When I laid down to sleep later that evening, I could still smell her on my sheets. I inhaled deeply, trying to absorb as much as I could. I wasn't one to cry, but Indi's absence left me desolate. Tears stained her pillow as I buried my face in it to be as close to her as possible. This was the closest I'd ever get to her again.
I barely slept that night, tossing and turning, mad at everything. Mad at the cold, empty sheets next to me. Mad at the universe for introducing such an angel into my life and then cruelly ripping her away. Mad at the crickets chirping away outside preventing me from falling asleep. Above all else, mad at myself for letting her walk out the door without protest.
All night, I wrestled with what it meant that she left. But she had left in the Audi. Was that her silent message that she'd be back? That she didn't hate me? I didn't dare let myself think it might mean she loved me too. But she left. Of course she wasn't coming back. She got what she wanted; she didn't need me anymore.
My phone ringing startled me awake around 6:15. Groggily, I rolled over to grab it, wondering how I had fallen asleep with such a heavy heart. "Hello?" I mumbled.
"Em!" JJ greeted. It sounded so wrong out of her mouth. She didn't say it right. It wasn't sweet like when Indi said it. It almost sounded condescending, even as a greeting at six in the morning. "We have a case."
I groaned, flopped on my back and put my hand over my eyes.  No no no.  I couldn't leave the state now. I had to make sure India was sure in her decision. Not to mention, I'd be absolutely useless right now. "No," I whispered. "I can't make this one. I'll call Hotch to tell him."
"What's wrong?" she asked. My skin crawled at the entitlement in her voice â like she deserved to know anything about my personal life.
"Nothing, JJ," I sighed. "Just leave it alone."
"I know something's wrong." Her voice softened, "You can talk to me; I'm still always here for you."Â
To shuffle her off the phone, I placated her, "Thanks, JJ. I'll keep that in mind."Â
"Is it her?" she asked with distaste. I refused to answer. "Look, we all went along with this for a while because you seemed happy. But what are you doing? You should be with someone a little more appropriateâŠyou know, for your age."
A tear leaked from the corner of my eye.  I know, I thought. Because India deserved someone who wasn't always jet setting across the country, someone who wasn't near two decades older than her. But there wasn't anyone better suited for me.Â
Changing the subject to avoid any further conversation with JJ, I reminded her, "I'll tell Hotch I'm calling out for this case," and hung up before she had a chance to say anything else.
I quickly sent a text to Hotch: Need time off. Calling out for this case.
It wouldn't have been unfair for him to question why, but I was thankful when he sent a simple: OK. I'm here for anything you may need.
I exhaled a sigh of relief. I tried to fall back asleep, but was incapable of shutting my mind off. Was it a mistake to call out? What if India didn't come back? Was I just supposed to call out the rest of my life waiting for her to love me back?
I laid in bed another forty-five minutes waiting for sleep to claim me again. I squeezed my eyes closed tightly, begging my mind to shut down long enough to get some sleep. But the harder I tried to quiet my thoughts, the more insistent they became.Â
I had to do something â anything â to distract my mind. I rolled out of bed and wandered into my office to draw. I grabbed my favorite sketchbook and pencil set. Immediately, my hand started flying over the page. Quick, dark, angry lines. I filled page after page of a dark horizon, storm clouds looming large over a tree line. I flipped to a clean page, begging myself to draw something less dramatic.
I considered drawing Indi, but I thought seeing her face looking back at mine, even if just a sketch, would hurt too badly. I sighed and set the pencil down. Sketching wasn't going to cut it today. I needed an outlet for this boiling anger inside me. I quickly tied my hair back, grabbed my gun and left for Quantico. I needed to hit the range.
Once I got there, I tried to sneak in the side door, curious if the team had left or if I'd run into them in the building. That would be horribly awkward to explain.Â
Once I made it to the shooting range safely, I clipped a paper target up and slid it back into place.  The lingering smell of gunpowder was calming, familiar. I widened my stance, and lifted my gun, rapidly firing several rounds in a row. Before I knew it, I had emptied my clip into the chest of the target.Â
I fired bullet after bullet and loaded clip after clip, tearing the paper target to shreds. But none of my anger faded.Â
Who was I really angry with? When I tried to parse it out, I realized I wasn't angry at all. I was devastatingly, crushingly hurt. Was my love so repugnant that India would rather leave than be loved by me? Is that why everyone in my life always ended up leaving?
Of all the heartbreak I had had, none hurt like this. It was as if when she packed up her belongings, she reached in my chest and took my heart with her. It didn't matter though, because everything I had â everything I was â was India. Whether she returned my affection or not didn't matter. I would never love anyone like I did India Mae Banks.
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Hopeful it was Indi, I nearly dropped my gun to empty my hands as quickly as possible. Disappointment crashed over me when I saw it wasn't Indi calling, but my mother. I considered sending it to voicemail. After all, how could I possibly endure a conversation with JJ and my mother in the same day? Ultimately, I thought a small part of me wanted to talk to my mother. I longed to have that close relationship where we could talk about things like this.
"Hi, mom," I answered softly.
"Emily! It's wonderful to hear from you. How have you been?"
"I'm well," I lied. "And you?"
"All good, not much is new, I'm afraid. How are things with India?"
My breath caught in the back of my throat, tears welling in my eyes at just thinking about talking about her. "Uh, well." I bit at my nail, residue of gun powder bitter on my tongue. "She'sâŠ"
"What's wrong?" she asked gently.
"I guess we've just run our course," I lamented. I couldn't get into it all because I refused to tell my mother India had just been a ruse to prevent her from nagging me about being single.
"Oh I doubt that very much. You two looked so in love the last time I saw you." My eyebrows raised in surprise. She had been incredibly unpleasant the entire evening of the gallery opening. I had thought she hated Indi based on the age gap alone. "Emily, I know you probably won't really tell me what's going on â you've always been so closed off. But if she's important, don't let your walls and pride become a barrier to you patching things up.
"You have a hard job," she continued. "You always have. You deserve whoever makes you happy."
Tears streamed down my face. "I don't deserve her," I whispered.
"Do you wonder if she feels the same? Emily, we come from money, status. You're a beautiful and intelligent woman." My thoughts reeled. My mother had never had a kind word to say, preferring to highlight all my shortcomings as a daughter, instead. "Isn't it possible she thinks she isn't good for you?"
"I'll think about it, okay?"
"Don't think about it too long, or you'll lose the one you love."
When she disconnected the call, my heart was pounding in my chest. Could Indi be feeling as insecure as me? As much as I hated to admit it, my mother was right: I needed to put my pride aside. I couldn't give up so easily, sulking alone and feeling sorry for myself. I had to give it one more shot; I had pouted long enough. I wouldn't let her leave us behind like this. This wouldn't be the end of us â we were too special to end like this. I wouldn't let us fizzle out all because I was too proud to ask how she felt about us. I quickly cleaned my gun and re-holstered it, eager to get into the city.
I scrolled through India and I's first messages to confirm her old address, silently praying she did actually go back to her old apartment. Once I punched it into the GPS, I peeled out of the parking lot.  Please be home. When I parked, I practically ran up to her door, cursing myself for not rehearsing the best way to apologize to her. Before I could talk myself out of it, I knocked three times.
______________________________
Indi's POV:
"Just go back, Indi," Penelope encouraged.
"I can't!" I whined. "She probably hates me now. I left after she told me she loved me."
"I guarantee you she doesn't hate you."
Petulantly, I asked, "How would you know?"
"Because!" she huffed. "Derek talks about what a change he's seen in Emily. You don't know how she was at work and how she is now. He said she just lights up when she's texting now. No doubt that's because of you."
Butterflies fluttered lightly in my abdomen. Could it be true? I snapped back to reality. "But that was before!" More softly, "I've ruined that now."
"At least call her," Penelope tried again. She had been trying for an hour to get me to reach out to Emily, gently reminding me how stupid I had been.
"What would I even say? I messed up so bad."
"Tell her how you feel. Tell her-" Three quick knocks interrupted Penelope.
I quirked an eyebrow at her. "Who's that?"
Excitement lit Penelope's eyes. "I have a hunch," she said knowingly. A confusing melange of emotions welled up inside me. Excitement that it could be Emily coming to fix things. Dread that it could be Emily returning my belongings. Anticipated disappointment that it wasn't Emily at all. I smoothed my frizzy curls down and tucked stray hairs behind my ears, certain my hair looked wretched after laying in bed all day. "Get it," she hissed, gesturing to the door.
Before my nerves could talk myself out of it, I pulled the door open, gasping at seeing Emily. For a moment, we just stared at each other, drinking the other in. My heart clenched at seeing her; she was so beautiful. I wouldn't survive hearing her tell me this was over. I looked down, begging my eyes to stay dry.
"I'm sorry!" we blurted at the same time. I wrinkled my brows in confusion.Â
"What do you have to be sorry for?" I asked.
"It was too much. I didn't mean to overwhelm you. And I didn't think about how a big purchase would make you feel." I couldn't say anything, overwhelmed by her extending a peace offering, by giving me a second chance. "I'm also sorry for telling you I loved you. We haven't talked enough about our relationship for that to have been fair to just spring on you."
I chuckled ruefully. Emily Prentiss was truly the perfect woman and there wasn't even a small part of me that deserved her. Before I dove in head first, I needed to try one more time to get her to see that she deserved so much more than me. I couldn't help it. I knew that I wouldn't be able to give her up a second time. "You're too good for me, Emily. I don't belong with you. You're so perfect, and I'm justâŠnot," I finished lamely. "I'm so flawed. What could you possibly want with me?"
She cupped my face, a gentle smiling playing at her lips. "Baby, I know you're not perfect. But you're perfect for me. And I want it all with you. I need you." She looked deeply in my eyes, begging me to understand. "Please come home."Â
The way she said 'come home' broke my heart. So achingly sweet and desolate. A tear escaped, and she swiped it gently with her thumb. Maybe it was possible she needed me as much as I needed her.Â
All I had ever wanted was home, and Emily had become home for me. I fled Washington trying to escape memories of home and family so brutally taken from me, but I'd been so unhappy in DC without home or family. Then I had found both in Emily, and by some miracle, I hadn't ruined it. She still wanted it too. "Yes," I agreed.
An enormous smile slowly spread across her face, showing her perfect teeth. It made my heart skip a beat, how astonishingly beautiful she was. "Yeah?" she asked incredulously.
I pulled her face down to mine for a kiss, silently promising my future to her. She tried to deepen it, her smile preventing her from succeeding. I pulled back, breaking our kiss. "No," she whined, pressing her lips back to mine, her hand wrapping around my waist to pull me closer.
"Wait," I said arching my back slightly over her arm so I could look deeply in her eyes. "I love you, too." If it were possible, her smile grew even wider. "I love you so much, Emily Prentiss." She pressed her forehead against mine and sighed deeply. I wrapped my arms around her neck. "And I'm so sorry. I won't run again. I'm so sorry I left. I love you, Em."
She started kissing me in earnest, pushing me back against the door jamb. Her hands kneaded at my hips, pulling me tightly against her as her tongue laved at mine. "I'm so sorry, angel," she whispered between kisses. "Please don't leave again."
My heart broke at her request. "I swear, babe. Never again," I whispered against her lips.
when i met you thatâs when I started to really cherish tumblr đ„ș you were my first legit friend on here and i always think about our many convos in pms or discord. i love you always bby
