snerd

i ❤️ space (and dogs 🐶)

[ssnerd]

Though the darkness of winter fades, its scarring and permanence stays, trees drop their leaves and grass decays, they recover and thrive but never quite the same. Trees grow an extra layer of shielding from their soft core along with even more confident height annually, but what difference does it make if the same confidence weakens it. The taller you are, the harder you fall. What difference does it make if the same chainsaw can cut through your shielding just as easily as the year prior. Just as you think youve started to recover and thrive from the last chainsaw, thinking you will be immune to the next, you get cut in the same area, getting closer to your core. But you have to get used to it, youll grow back your shielding, recover and get cut again next year, yet again damaging and scarring, its annual.

[ssnerd]

I woke up knowing nothing mattered

and that knowledge mattered most.

The ceiling stared back, blank as the universe,

white like an answer that refuses to exist.

Full consciousness is a cruel gift -

it teaches you the weight of every second,

how time drips instead of flows,

how meaning evaporates the moment you touch it.

I see the strings behind every smile,

the machinery of hope grinding itself thin.

Love, they say, is real -

but I only find its blueprint, never the house.

I know too much to believe,

yet not enough to forget.

That is the curse to understand the void

and still ache for a hand inside it.

I crave you in the way gravity craves stars

not to possess, only to orbit,

to feel pulled toward something

that proves I am not entirely alone.

But you are always just beyond reach,

like a warmth I remember but can’t recreate.

I rehearse conversations we’ll never have,

my thoughts screaming into a room without ears.

Nihilism doesn’t make me empty -

it makes me unbearably full

of questions with no mouths,

of love with no destination.

I lie awake, hyper-aware,

feeling every atom insist on existing

while my heart begs for permission

to matter to someone else.

If nothing has purpose,

then why does the absence of you

feel like proof that something should?

I love her in a language without verbs -

my heart fluent,

my word mute.

[ssnerd]

Unc dog

[ssnerd]

A soft breeze blows

The kind that reveals your lows,

Winter shadows rise

Unmasking your disguise,

What was just a burning yellow

Is now a sorrowing mellow,

You seek what you miss

Perchance just a sweet lovers kiss,

Darkness overflows the skies

You think this is your demise,

But theres still a flaming ember in your chest

Because you know what comes next,

Sparks appear in the sky

Leaving you in awe, whilst already trying not to cry,

You see some connected in a way

And some left stray,

You look up at this presentation

And dream that eventually you'll connect with someone just like a constellation.

[ssnerd]

Winter leans against my door again,

quiet, patient, wearing thin.

It enters without question why -

no greeting, just a colder sky.

I don’t ask it why it came.

It doesn’t ask me how I’ve been.

We already know the places tired hearts go

when daylight thins and shadows grow.

The air turns pale, a muted blue,

the kind that settles deep and true

behind the ribs, a breathing stone -

a silence meant to be alone.

Still, I walk out into the cold,

breath rising like a truth retold -

a leaving that will not depart,

a fragile warmth around the heart.

The world is empty in a clean way,

as if swept clear for just today.

A loneliness with polished edges,

snow in corners, frost on ledges.

Sadness fits here, light and bare -

not crushing, just already there.

Like stepping in the room where pain

has kept your name inside the frame.

And yet -

a quiet ember stays.

A soft persistence in the haze.

Streetlight gold on untouched white,

a pulse that lives in winter’s night.

Something in me does not fold,

even standing in the cold.

Winter is here again.

I let it in.

Not because I want it.

But because it knows

where I live.

[ssnerd]

Lil stick getting groovy 🕺💃

[ssnerd]

My 2 babies 🐶❤️

[ssnerd]

Gotta love astrophotography 🪐 🌌 ❤️

[ssnerd]

Quick photoshoot 📷

[ssnerd]

I love Italy so much ❤️👅